Stargate Atlantis: What Pollen? (Rodney, Allergy, M/M)

[Mercury]

A/N: I've been so tied up in angsty fics I think I've forgotten how to do playful banter so I hope the dialogue doesn't seem too forced. I rewatched the second half of season 2 and first half of season 3 to do this, so we'll just say that it's set around or just after then. I don't know why I went with this idea, it just amused me. It was suggested to have some of the more serious physical developments that come from them, so I did my best, but kept them as slight less of a focus than what was wanted, so I'm sorry about that.

I hope it's enjoyable, regardless

What Pollen?

The device was clearly Wraith. They had a very distinct, streamlined design and colour scheme, their only failing being that they didn’t come with instruction manuals.

Not that one would have helped. In John’s experience, instruction manuals usually made things much more complicated that they should be, but in this case he was willing to make an exception. Nothing could have made it more confusing than it already was.

Rodney was hunched over the device, the lines of his face tight and his shoulders tighter.

“Well,” John started, “It’s definitely a Wraith device.”

“Oh, yes, thank you for that brilliant observation.”

John raised an eyebrow at the sharp tone. He was used to Rodney being less than polite at the best of times, and knew that when the physicist was immersed in science it was the worst of time for civility. Despite it supposably being when Rodney was the happiest, he was always overly cranky when he had his nose in a project.

The flyboy didn’t fully understand, when he did something he enjoyed it always seemed to put him in a better mood, but had long since accepted it as Rodney being Rodney.

Still, this was a little excessive.

John had to clear his throat into his fist before he spoke, a strange tickling causing his breath to stick in the back of his mouth.

“Not going well?”

“No, it’s not. I’ve been working on this for hours and I have no idea what this is. It could be a Wraith microwave for all I know and probably nothing even worth my time.”

Frowning, John though that, considering what the Wraith’s food source was, a microwave was both important and potentially terrifying. Luckily, while the object was big, it couldn’t fit a grown human inside. Apparently it wasn’t something Rodney hadn’t taken as a real threat.

“It’s probably not a microwave.” He added, knowing he was being unhelpful but wanting to pull Rodney away from what he was doing so that they could both eat and rest.

Rodney muttered something inaudible under his breath, but he set down his tablet and rubbed his eyes. It was the opening that John was waiting for and he lent on the desk next to Rodney subtly shifting the scientist’s work behind him. Out of sight, out of mind.

Clearing his throat again, John nudged Rodney with his elbow.

“Let’s go get coffee or something to eat.”

Signing, the other man shook his head. “No. I think I should lie down for a bit, maybe, first.”

John rested a hand on his upper-arm, generally the most contact they had when others could be around. “Rodney, are you okay?”

“I don’t know. I think I’m getting sick, which would be your fault by the way.”

“Why is it my fault?”

“You’re the one who got sick and made me care about you by being all vulnerable and pathetic.”

“I was not pathetic.”

“Yes you were. Gross and pathetic.”

“Well, I didn’t ask you to hang out with me.”

“You didn’t have to.”

Rodney flinched at his own words and looked away, clearly embarrassed that he’s allowed himself to say something like that. Their relationship generally went unspoken between them, their emotions expressed through the physical as they rarely had the words, but John didn’t mind the small declaration.

Another breath hitched in his throat and he turned to cough. It was dry and raspy, with quick gasps between them, completely unlike those which had predicted his cold. He dismissed them as remnants, but it caused a worried and hesitant glance from Rodney.

“I’m feeling better now,” he reassured, “So maybe it’s my turn to hang out with you while you’re ‘gross and pathetic’.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“You’re welc-”

“Hitchhh!”

“-ome, and bless you.”

“Thank god. That’s been threatening to come since you came in.”

“Well, I’m glad we got it out of the wa-”

“Ichhhtt! Titchhh! Hih’Chhhh! It’titchhh! Huh’Shhttt!”

Rodney pressed the heel of his hand to one side of his nose and rubbed in it quick circles while he sniffed. They hadn’t been overly wet, causing a fine mist before the physicist had realized he needed to duck and cover, and had caused John to jump at the sudden sharpness of the sneezes.

John itched at the back of his throat with his tongue before he spoke, not wanting to actually cough again and plant further seeds of doubt in Rodney’s mind about his health.

“That doesn’t sound like a cold.”

“That’s all it can be.” He snapped and made a vague gesture around the scientist’s lab. “This is a technological safe-haven. There’s nothing organic in here except you and me.”

John shrugged and rubbed at his eyes. “I think I know you well enough to know the difference, but it’s your body.”

“My body, which your germs have invadehhhh...” he jammed his fist under his nose, “...Idvaded”

While Rodney was battling himself, probably avoiding another fit in order to prove he was right, John dug into the pocket of his jacket, hoping to come up with a travel-pack of tissues or something that could help. They weren’t something he usually carried on him, but he hoped he had some left over from his cold somewhere.

They were in his tac vest.

“Damn,” he muttered under his breath.

“Whhhh... hihhh..?” Rodney waved his hand in front of his face in a way that John found equal parts amusing and endearing. “Hhhhh...!”

John coughed again while the physicist flailed and adjusted his collar to try and make it easier to breathe. He turned away from the other man and leant heavily on the bench as he tried to gasp and gain some breath while Rodney succumbed.

“Ettthhhh! Eishhhh! Hih’Titchhhoo! Heh’Aetchhh!”

John felt panic grip him. His throat seemed to have difficulty allowing air in, and had never felt anything so debilitating before. He reached up to hit his com-link to try and call Carson with what little air he could manage.

“John? Are you okay, what’s wrong?”

The airman shook his head, not turning back to look at Rodney, but hearing him tap on his own radio and make the call to the Scottish doctor that he had been unable to.

A hand was place on John’s back and it rubbed in circles. Rodney didn’t say anything soothing like someone else might have, but he kept his hand there and refrained from freaking out or complaining, which was more than most would have received.

John closed his eyes and tried his best to breath. There were a few smothered sneezes behind him, Rodney trying to stave them off so that he could focus on the other man instead of his own tribulations. The scientist was close enough behind him that John was able to reach around and grasp at Rodney’s free hand, squeezing it to reassure his partner that he would be okay.

...

...

...

“Colonel? John?”

Said colonel slowly blinked his eyes open. Carson was leaning over him looking professionally concerned, and it took a moment for John to remember how he had gotten there and why.

“What happened?”

“You had an allergic reaction and which started to develop into anaphylaxis. I’ve given you epinephrine, and you might be a wee bit groggy for a while, but you started recovering as soon as we got you away from the Wraith device, so you’re well and truly out of danger.”

John frowned, trying to push the mental fog aside to remember the machine that wasn’t a microwave, but had no other conceivable purpose.

“The Wraith device?”

“Aye. From what we can tell, it detects chemical changes in the air, pheromones, to be more precise, and it releases an... aid.”

John nodded, amused at the slight flush in Carson’s face about discussing such a thing even though he was a doctor. “Doc, there are no ‘pheromones’ between Rodney and I.”

He smiled slightly, “I know.”

John looked at the doctor with a careful eye and gave a small, thankful nod before he pushed himself into a sitting position. “Where is Rodney?”

Carson sighed, “He’s trying to figure out how to shut the device off.”

“He’s still with that thing?”

“He seems to have taken your reaction as a personal affront.” Carson moved over to a different part of the infirmary, not too far away.

John pulled the blankets back and swung his legs out of the bed. “Is he okay? Will h-”

“He’ll be fine. It seems to affect everyone to different degrees.” The doctor came back, holding a small cylindrical object. “You’ll be immune for a while, so if you’re up to it could you go down and give him this to make sure his asthma doesn’t start playing up?”

“Sure thing, Doc.”

...

...

...

Rodney looked messier than John had ever seen him. His hair was mussed and his face was red and blotched, as were his eyes. There were tissues strewn about his workstation and it was clear by the shade that his nose had been quite roughly treated. The whole image made John suspect that Carson had sent him down to save Rodney from more than just his asthma.

“Aktchhhoo! Hih’IETCHOO! Ehhh... HehIKTCHHH!... Kishh-Ishhh-Ikchh-Hihctthh!”

“Bless you.”

Rodney jumped in the middle of blowing his nose and swung around. “You,” he waved his hand in John’s direction with tissue clasped over his mouth and nose, hiding what John assumed to be a concerned look, “You can’t be in here.”

“I’ve been given the all clear from the doc. The Wrath sex pollen won’t affect me anymore.”

The physicist gave a congested snort and rolled his eyes as he turned back to the device. “‘Wraith sex pollen’,” he muttered, “like they’re some kind of sci-fi cliché.”

John shrugged, not disagreeing. “How are you going with it?”

“It won’t turn off.”

“Maybe it’s on a timer.”

Rodney shot him an annoyed look before turning away and pressing another tissue to his face.

“ETCHHTTT! HIKCHHH! Isshh-Kitchhh-Titchh!... HIATCHHHOO!” He took a few gasping breaths and blew his nose into the papers, rubbing the tissue side to side as his did. It was clear from his eyes that he was frustrated and embarrassed by his condition.

“Here.” John pulled a chair up next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder and digging into his pocket. He could hear a slight struggle in Rodney’s breath, and having only just been subjected to his own breathing problems, winced as he handed the inhaler over. “Carson has antihistamines in the infirmary too.”

Rodney took a breath through the inhaler, though seemed to be fighting back another sneeze in between his first and second puff.

“Thanks.” He mumbled and pulled out some more tissues in preparation as he scrubbed at his nose.

“How are you doing, Rodney?”

“I’m okay,” He snapped, “Sneezing, but okay.”

“You know you can give it a rest for a while, right? Maybe come back to it when you’re less sneezy.”

“It’s just... It’s technology,” Rodney admitted with a stuffy voice and without looking John in the eyes. He paused to sigh and muffled a few tired but intense expulsions into the new set of tissues, before giving the same type of rough blow as before. “Technology isn’t supposed to do this to me. It’s nature that hates me.”

He scratched at the inside of his wrist, and John noticed that the skin there was red and puffy, much like the rest of him. The airman hadn’t noticed it before, the area having been obscured by tissues.

“C-Crap.” Rodney exclaimed as his breath hitched again. “Hihhhh... Hhhh...!”

John waited patiently as Rodney was tortured from the inside out. He circled his hand on the scientist’s back, just as had been done to him earlier that day, and felt how tight and strained all the muscles were. They turned to rock as Rodney bent forward at the waist, two hands cupping over his mouth and nose with a tissue loosely nestled in between.

“Hihhh... hhhhETTCHHHOO! HahShishhh! EKTCHHHH!”

Keeping his hand there as Rodney blew his nose, John understood the other man’s frustration. Throughout their years working on Atlantis, it was clear that Rodney had always felt ready to be attacked when they were off world in the forests or grasslands, not wanting to touch anything. He had dedicated his life to technology because he understood it and could manipulate it, and not be manipulated by it in turn.

“The Wraith technology,” he started slowly, “It’s organic based, though, isn’t it? I mean, that’s my understanding of it.”

Rodney blinked, and wiped some of the allergic tears from his eyes. “In an overly simplistic way, yes.”

“So don’t worry about it.” John wrapped an arm around him and gave his a small squeeze before standing, “Let’s get you some antihistamines from Dr Beckett.”

“No. I need to turn it-”

“I can wait here all day, until you come with me, Rodney,” He interrupted in his best colonel-ing voice, “Long after the medicine’s worn off and I go into anaphylaxis again.”

The physicist shot him a harsh, frustrated look. However, it only lasted a moment before his shoulder slumped and he picked up another tissue to blow his nose with a bit more delicacy than before.

“C’mon, Rodney, I’m tired, my throat hurts and I want you with me. I’m sure he’ll have something for that rash too,” he bumped the sitting man with affection, “I’ll even put the cream on for you, you won’t have to rub a thing.”

Raising an eyebrow, Rodney gave an unproductive sniff and cleared his throat.

“Fine.” He grouched, though John suspected the tone was more out of habit than anything else, “In the very least, it sounds preferable to sneezing.”

“I should hope so.”

After Rodney had put the inhaler in one pocket and stuffed the rest full of tissues, he rose from the seat and straightened his jacket down.

“I’m glad you’re alright.” He muttered quietly. “You scared the crap out of me.”

John smiled. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

Edited March 3, 2014 by Mercury

[24Me]

*says in sarcastic voice*

nooooooo, that wasn't enjoyable at all.

*ends sarcasm*

holy freaking crap, that was amazing! More, please??? :)

[Shay]

Wow, that was amazing! Thank you so much for writing this. I would have loved it even if there had been no sneezing in it because you just did the characters so well and the emotional play between them just made me go all "awwww", but the vast amount of sneezing was certainly the icing on an already very delicious cake.

I'll second 24Me by saying I'd love to see more, but I'll understand if this was only meant to be a one shot. Again, thanks so much for this. It really made me smile after a rough day.

[Lace Butterfly]

Awesome fic, continue, or one shot?

[Shay]

I just wanted to thank you again for writing this Mercury. It helped to motivate me to write an Atlantis short story that had been floating around in my head for the past few months and post it. I'm not sure if I'll get to writing any more of my unfinished stories as they are much longer than the one I posted, but who knows.

[katy693]

This was absolutely fantastic!! Thanks for writing.

[blueberrymuffin]

This is fantastic, and I'm so happy to see SGA on here, especially John/Rodney. This is just perfect. Thanks so much for sharing!