Carry On(Castle fanfiction for recuchii, Caskett)

[24Me]

Still hard at work on all my stories-new ones, prompts, ideas that are swirling, and the ones I have yet to complete. I'm super busy and writing in spurts when I can, and trying to work on all stories at once. This is obviously a short update. I literally just write it now, in about an hour and a half. It's not really edited or anything, and I also went for a different style-it's choppy, to convey the confusion and mild panic. I was sick when I was seven to the point where I was totally hallucinating about water and got lost in a straight hallway on the way to the bathroom, so if you think the flu doesn't cause stuff like this, that's wrong. I also know her temp gets high, but from what I've read, Castle was right in what he did-if it hadn't worked, then he would have taken her to the hospital. Finally, for anyone who hasn't had migraines, they really are that bad. I've only had 2 full blown(thank God) but I've been on the verge. In 8th grade, at a chorus concert rehearsal, I looked like I was drunk because I was weaving and dizzy and sick to my stomach. The next couple of days, I was confused and sleepy-didn't recognize my cello, etc.

sorry, not trying to jump all over anyone, just getting my ducks in a row. It's late, and I'm trying to update this story. :/ So sorry! Ugh. Yep. Babbling. Getting on with if. Sorry, sorry, sorry!

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Castle was going slightly crazy only a few minutes after hanging up with Gates. He had already texted Alexis to let her know to come in quietly, and she hadn't responded. Little did she know, he could see that she had read it, but had chosen not to respond. Still, that was a battle for a different day, and she was out with friends, so he would let her pass-this time. Now, he just wasn't sure what to do with his spare time-he was far too antsy to write. After a few seconds of thinking about it, he decided to get the supplies sorted out-it never hurt to be organized, or to check expiration dates. First, though, he wanted to check to be sure Beckett was alright.

On his way to the bathroom closest where Alexis, his mother, and himself stored their various medications and the communal "sick person" supplies, Castle poked his head in the door to the master bedroom. Kate was still sleeping, though not without a fair bit of tossing and turning, the blankets a tangled mess around her. Even from the doorway, Castle could see the pale, clammy quality of her skin and the hot red areas on the tops of her cheekbones. With a frown, he closed the door again and continued on his way.

In truth, he wasn't quite sure what to get Kate to keep her comfortable. He got the feeling she usually kept things under control without meds-the only time he'd seen her so much as pop an Aspirin was when they had gone undercover with Ryan and Esposito at a rock concert to investigate a suspect.

That day had not been fun. It was at first, for the guys-until the strobing lights had started. Within minutes, Kate was swaying on her feet, pale as death(bordering on green, truthfully), and face pinched up as she battled an epic migraine. Espo and Ryan had caught the murderer, but Castle had had to carry Kate to the car as she was in no condition to walk anywhere. The pain in her head had been excrutiating, and she had vomited up the pills, plus everything left in her stomach, out the car window mere minutes after the bumpy drive began. She'd been out of work for two days recovering from that, and now, she seemed to be suffering even more.

Anyway, Castle tried to think of what he would grab if Alexis were the one who was ill. Definitely Ibuprofen for the fever and aches, Robotussin for the cough, Pepto-Bismol for the vomiting, DayQuil for if she needed something stronger, and NyQuil in case she needed something to knock her out-protect her from the nightmares. Benadryl had only succeeded in giving him more nightmares when he had tried it, in the months following Kate's shooting. He pushed that aside-feelings could come later. Thinking it over, Rick grabbed a thermometer, hot water bottle, extra box of tissues, and some plastic bags to line her trash can, before depositing his supplies in a plastic bin. Entertainment would come later, once she was medicated and concious. Rest was what her body, and fragile mind, needed most right now.

He tiptoed down the hall, cautiously shifting the box to ease the door open. A frown creased his face as he heard Kate's moans through the door. He edged it open, and bit his lip. Kate had the blankets tangled around her, twisted and trapping her. The comforter and the pillows were on the ground, but Kate was sprawled sideways, tossing and turning her head and arms in a obvious nightmare.

Castle sighed, and placed the box of supplies on the nightstand, out of reach of the cop's thrashing. Her breathing was raspy, rapid, and labored-he'd need to start that humidifier.

Up close, her illness was obvious. She was radiating heat, and her normally clear complexion was bright, fevered red. Sweat had soaked her hair and beaded along her hairline. Castle winced when he touched her-she was burning up. As much as he hated to wake her, he wasn't going to let her suffer through a nightmare when real life was quite bad enough. He moved so that he was sitting, pinning her arms so she couldn't break a wrist against the headboard, and called her name multiple times, more loudly with each repetition. Finally, he squeezed her shoulder gently just as he yelled "Katherine!", causing her to kick so violently that she jerked upright.

--

Kate was startled out of a horrible dream of bloody corpses by someone grabbing her arm. She kicked out, trying to hurt them, trying to get them not to touch her, and found herself sitting up. Immediately, she decided that that was a mistake. Her head was swimming, spinning, making her feel like she was going to pass out, fall over, and vomit at the same time. Black spots and colors danced across her vision as she swayed.

Whoever it was hadn't let go, and instead, was helping her lean forward, getting her head between her knees, their cool hand on her hot, sweaty back. They were saying something, but she was too dizzy to hear what.

She felt like hell. Her skin was tight and raw, and felt like it was burning up with heat, while on the inside, she couldn't get warm. The covers were making her bottom half too hot, but without the blankets, her top half was too cold. Her throat ached. Her whole body hurt. She was nauseous. Still dizzy. Couldn't think. It was awful.

The nightmare had been so real. Raglan. MacCallister. Montgomery. Jo Beckett. Bloody and swimming across get vision, beating her, berating her, drowning her in blood...

The dizziness began to get a little better. She was still miserable and swimmy, but she didn't feel like tipping over. Something cool was on her forehead, and then she was on her back. Moments passed, maybe hours, maybe minutes, she couldn't be sure. Someone picked her up, and she was dizzy and cold all over again. They put her in water-both scalding and shockingly cold-that made her scream, and cling to whoever was holding her, scrambling to get out. They held her closer, rocking her, holding her tight to them to keep her warm. They whispered softly into her hair, stroking it, telling her that she'd be okay, it was just the fever, it would come down soon and she's feel better.

It took a long time to feel better. Whoever it was washed her hair, like her mom had used to do-that helped. They held her, always held her, trying to help her stop shivering. She did start to feel more alert eventually, though. It was still bad, still not normal, but better, when they lifted her out and she started shivering again. A towel went around her, and a body held her close, slightly stubbly face close to hers. She felt safer, and let them help her into a dry t-shirt, dry pajama bottoms, then let them put her down in a big chair while someone who looked like Castle changed sheets and straigtened covers.

It had to be a fever dream. She'd broken Castle's heart. He wouldn't forgive her. He'd been right there, in her dream. She slid in and out of something, too hot and cold, still swimmy and dizzy and sick as hell. Couldn't-Be-Castle held something to her lips-water, in a bottle. She gulped it greedily, then it was pulled away. Round pills on her tongue. Swallow with water. Then back in arms, dizzy again, then back in the bed. Under the covers-sleepy. Back to bed.

Not-Castle put something cold on her head. Then chest. Then neck. It felt nice, mostly. Darkness tugged her under again. She fell asleep to the feeling of a brush dragging through her wet hair, the sound of maybe a humidifier and her own raspy breathing lulling her into a peaceful feeling.

--

Castle had been scared as hell the moment Beckett woke up. Her fever was high-way, way too high. He knew that without a thermometer. She was mumbling without knowing it, groaning, head flopping to the side like a ragdoll. Had his phone been there, he would have called 911.

Alexis had been like this once. No-not this bad-but close. He'd put her in the bathtub, held her while she cried. Her fever had come down from 104 to 101. Without hesitating, he threw on swim shorts hanging in his closet, then lifted an incoherent Kate and climbed into the tub, feeling shivers wrack her body as lukewarm water climbed up. She shuddered weakly, burying closer to him, crying out, screaming slightly. He held her closer, tighter, warming her as he cooled her overheated body.

"Hush, Kate, you're okay, you're okay, you're going to be okay. It's cold, but I'm here. You'll feel better once the fever's gone. You'll go back to bed. It's okay, Katie, I'm here. I'm here."

The whole time, he cradled her and rocked her. He'd washed her hair underneath the spigot, trying to soothe her, and cool her face and scalp-cool away the bright flush. She'd mumbled about her mother then. He'd continued holding her, talking nonstop to calm her. Eventually, he'd felt the heat begin to drain away. He'd climbed out, wrapped her in a towel, and sat on the edge of the tub, not putting her down, trying to comfort her.

He'd wrapped her in new pajamas, ignoring her braless chest as he maneuvered his softest T-Shirt over her head. Then he put her in the big chair in the corner, covered in a thick fleece blanket, while he changed the sheets and put a towel on the pillow.

His heart had stopped hammering so hard, the panic beginning to pass, as he took her temperature. 103.2. Horrible, but obviously way down-no longer an emergency. If she could hold down the water he had given her, and the Ibuprofen and NyQuil, he wouldn't take her in. She was easy to transfer to the bed, and tuck in. To cool her, he placed compressed on her neck, shoulders, and chest. Not washcloths soaked in water-instant cold packs, the reusable kind, that didn't need to be taken off every twenty minutes or so. It would take her fever down even more.

Alexis loved having her hair touched when she was sick, so Castle grabbed the hairbrush and climbed up on the bed, and began dragging the brush through Kate's hair. His heartbeat slowed as he sat in the dim room, and listened to Kate's congested breathing, and the white noise of the humidifier. He stayed quiet, thankful that she was back to sleeping and not waking. That had been scary, but she seemed okay-at least out of immediate danger. He'd call Lanie if her temp was above 102.7 in 45 minutes-he suspected the cold packs and the medication would continue to lower the fever. For now, though, he was content to braid and unbraid and brush out his best friend's hair, doing what he could to calm her as two storms raged in her-one, he knew she'd beat, the other, he hoped she would-prayed she could.

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[24Me]

Thanks to everyone for all your patience with the slow and sporadic story updates! Between 9 hours of dance per week, rehearsals, and school/homework, I haven't had much time to just sit down and write since Christmas break!, or I've been too tired to do much at all! I'm on a Castle kick right now, though, so tonight I sat down and wrote an update for this story! I'm in the works of writing a new one, too, but I don't want to post that one until the entire story is finished-I won't ever finish it otherwise!

If you can leave any feedback at all, good or bad, it would be much appreciated! I don't mean to sound like a "digger", but comments honestly do help me to stay motivated since I know that people are interested in the story. I know that this isn't my best work, but I wanted to post something while I have the inspiration and the chance!

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It was nearly 10:30 when Castle decided to check Kate's temperature again. He'd been watching her sleep, not wanting to let her temperature rise too high and not wanting to wake her if she was finally peaceful-and after 53 minutes of increasingly restless sleep, he figured that it was time to wake her up again. The awful flush had drained for the most part, leaving her with the sallow, deathly-pale look that had been all too familiar for the last day and a half, so the writer was pretty confident that her fever had lowered considerably. He dimmed the lights even lower, so that her head would hurt less upon opening her eyes, and knelt beside her to wake her.

"Hey, Kate…Katie, can you wake up for just a minute? I promise that you can go right back to sleep." Her brow furrowed, and then her eyes fluttered open.

"What?" She croaked, voice barely audible. "What's goidg od? Where ab I? Why are you here?" Castle held up a hand, signaling for her to stop asking questions.

"Shh, shh, save your voice. You're really sick, so you're staying with me for a bit until you're better. I need you to wake up so I can check your temp and get some meds and fluids into your system." His warm, concerned eyes seemed to soothe her a bit, and she gave a barely-there nod of her head to show that she understood.

With the help of Castle's arm around her shoulders, and several pillows, Kate was eventually able to sit halfway up. In truth, Castle was pretty much responsible for moving her-she was too weak and out of it to do much to help. Before he could give her the thermometer, she sneezed into a tissue from the box that he had placed conveniently beside her.

"Ha-ETsch! Ksssh! Tsssh! Hiyisssh!"

"God bless you." Rick's voice, much like his eyes, was warm and compassionate and tinged with worry as he blessed her before putting the thermometer in her mouth. She blew her nose gently, producing an almost painful-sounding gurgle, while Castle stared off into space. The thermometer beeped several times, and he took the stick from her mouth and looked at it. "102.6. You got lucky-I was going to call Lanie on you if it was any higher." She looked at him, clearly too out of it to register what he was saying.

"Castle, I really, really dod't feel well." It was heartbreaking the way her words came out-childlike and innocent and so overwhelmingly miserable. The writer frowned, hating that he couldn't make her feel better.

"I know, Kate, I know." Her eyes got a little wider, and he put the pieces together quickly as she began rapidly paling.

"Ndo-I feel like-"

The trashcan got into her arms just in time for her to bend over, retching violently as her stomach-long since empty of anything but exactly two sips of weak tea-tried to bring up nothing. The retching caused her whole body to spasm, curling in and tensing on itself as she fought desperately to relieve the awful nausea that was so prominent in her illness.

"Ow…Castle…" In a brief moment between heaves, Kate half moaned, half yelled his name. It sounded as if she were begging or pleading with him, and it broke his heart, especially since he couldn't do anything to help her. He tightened his grip on her, rubbing her back as he knelt beside her on the bed.

"Shh, shh, you're okay, you're going to be okay, Kate. Shhh, shhh, it's going to be okay…" His low, rumbling voice seemed to soothe her just a little bit, though tears still streaked her cheeks from the pain she was feeling and the force she was exerting.

The episode, like the others, took nearly fifteen minutes to end. Every time it looked like she might finally get a respite, Beckett began to get sick again. When the spasms finally eased, she was left shaking and panting, sweat on her forehead and neck, and tears in her eyes.

"Hhh'pssssh! 'TSShhoo! Kssshuh! Hiiissshoo!" Each sneeze was soft, but had a desperate and ticklish quality to it that made Castle's heart ache for his muse and friend. That fit was followed by a collection of congested, ragged coughs that sounded as if they were scraping the Detective's already raw and aching throat.

"Here, Kate, why don't you lay back down, and try and get some sleep?" She nodded miserably, too tired to think straight. Castle lifted her shoulders and removed a pillow, leaving her propped up enough to keep her stomach happy, but flat enough to sleep, and tucked her in. After changing the bag in the trashcan, he took the old bag and the old reusable cold packs to the kitchen, and threw the bag away before placing the cold packs in the freezer, and swapping them out for new ones.

By the time he got back to the bedroom at 11:15, Kate was already asleep again, finally looking slightly peaceful for the first time in days. She looked so frail and vulnerable when she was this sick and sleeping, and it was gut-wrenching to see the normally strong and in control detective so weak and helpless. With an inaudible sigh, Castle plugged in the humidifier, placed a cold pack on Kate's forehead and the back of her neck-something that seemed to always soothe Alexis when she had a stomach virus-and settled into the chair with his phone. He found a text from Esposito; three texts from Ryan; one from Alexis; and one from his mother.

Esposito: Bro, keep me updated on Beckett. She gave me a hell of a scare today. Tell her to feel better for me, and let me know if you need anything. Text me if she's not up for visitors tomorrow afternoon-otherwise, I'm coming over with chocolate and a chick flick. Good luck this weekend, and take care of Beckett.

Ryan: (1/3) Hey Castle, just wanted to ask you to keep me in the loop on how Beckett's doing. She scared me half to death today, and I want to make sure she's okay. I'm happy to make a supply or food run, if you want me to, or to come stay with her for a bit. Give her my best!

(2/3) Has anyone told Lanie what happened? I don't think Gates gave her an update today, and Espo and I definitely didn't. Can you take care of that?

(3/3) Dude, I am so not telling Lanie-not this long after it happened!

Martha: I turned off the stove for you and put the leftovers in the fridge. I'm assuming you aren't going to eat until later tonight. I didn't want to wake Beckett or intrude on her privacy-I know she hates to look weak-so I went over to Phyllis' house for an impromptu girls night. I'm happy to come home if you need me to, though! Oh, and I texted Alexis to let her know to come in quietly. Love you, Richard!

Alexis: Dad, I just wanted to let you know I'm going to be home around 12. Paige and I went to a late movie showing with her mom to stay out of your hair. I'll get dinner when I get home. I love you, and I'll be sure to come in quietly.

Castle smiled at the texts, especially the ones from his two "cop buddies". It was touching to know that everyone was concerned about Kate's well being. His mom offering to leave a girl's night? That showed how much she loved the stunning NYPD detective! Alexis' text was the only one that concerned him-his daughter was so angry at Beckett for not calling after the shooting, and had yet to forgive her for walking out on, then back into, her dad's life. Castle understood why Beckett had done what she had, but Alexis had made it clear she wasn't ready to welcome Kate with open arms. That hostility was something that worried him, but couldn't be dealt with just yet-Castle's top priority at this point was the physical health and well being of the woman currently sleeping in his bed. He fired off a few replies.

Hey, Espo! I'll be sure to keep you updated. Not sure Beckett's going to want to see anyone tomorrow-she's still really sick, but I'll let you know. Thanks for the offer-if she's still too weak to shoot me tomorrow, I'll let her know you're concerned about her. FYI, Lanie already hates you, so you can do the honors of telling her what happened with Beckett.

Hi, Ryan! Thanks for the offer-I might take you up on the shopping run. I think she scared us all-I'll be sure to keep you in the loop. She's not doing well tonight, but maybe a good night's sleep will help. I'll pass on your well wishes. Oh, and I pawned that duty off on Javi.

Thank you, mother, that's very kind of you. I love you too! She'll definitely appreciate that you won't see her in a vulnerable state.

I'll see you when you get home, sweetie! We should talk at some point about this whole situation. Love you!

He turned off the phone, and settled deeper into the chair. It was almost certainly going to be a long night, and an even longer weekend.

[24Me]

I'm trying to get this story finished, I promise! I'm not super happy with this update, and it's a little short, but I wanted to get something posted before holiday break was over. As always, if you have any constructive criticism or feedback, it's very much appreciated!

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It was just about midnight when Castle's perked ears caught the sound of the front door opening, then the low hum of a soft voice-Paige, most likely-and the answer of his daughter's. Then, a quiet giggle and the click of the front door shutting, and then the sound of footsteps. He looked over at Kate and felt the worried frown return to his face. She was paler than pale, aside from the rosy splotches on her cheeks showing how hotly the fever burned inside her fragile body, and looked pained in her sleep. Her brow was furrowed and her mouth part way open, soft gasping noises escaping and alternating with miserable moans, but she seemed to be sleeping deeply enough for him to go to Alexis for a bit. He pocketed his phone and pushed himself out of the chair, then padded down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Hi, sweetheart." He said quietly. Alexis gave him an odd stare and popped the leftovers into the microwave. Castle's heart sank: the silent treatment was never a good sign.

"Hey." She finally said, the word clipped and short. Her father sighed, not wanting to go through this now but not seeing a better time in the near future.

"Alexis…" It was as if all she needed was to hear her name for her frustration to boil over. To give her credit, she kept her volume low, but her tone and words were sharp and angry.

"What, Dad? I don't get it. She doesn't talk to you for three months, lets you worry and think about her during that time, treats you like dirt when she gets back, and then suddenly she's staying in our apartment? Tell me how that makes any sense?!"

He rubbed a hand over his face and sat down at one of the bar stools while Alexis glared at him, tears bright in her eyes.

"Honey, Kate and I…I've moved on. She had her reasons and I respect that. No, this doesn't make a lot of sense, but it's not as if she just let me sit and stew on purpose. She's really, really suffering, and now she's very sick. She needed someone to stay with, and so I brought her here."

"Dad, she's not your responsibility, and she's made that pretty clear. She's an adult: I think she can handle being sick by herself." Her voice rose with the emotion, and her dad winced slightly.

Castle took a deep breath before responding, trying to keep his temper in check. Alexis didn't have the whole story-even HE didn't-and she had watched him tear himself apart over Kate all summer. He really needed her to understand that Beckett was in pain, and that she needed support right now.

"Alexis, Kate is very sick, physically and emotionally. She passed out at the precinct and had a very high fever. The doctor said it was either she stayed with someone, or she stayed in the hospital. Beckett is having a lot of PTSD symptoms, and being in the hospital would only exacerbate those. She is staying here until she gets better, and that is final. I need you to be gentle with her while she's here. She's…well, she's not herself. Okay?"

Alexis slumped a bit, the fight going out of her as her empathy took over.

"She passed out? Are you serious?" Her father nodded.

"It was really scary." He admitted.

"Wow.." The microwave beeped and Alexis pulled it open, and moved to sit next to her father with her dinner. "Is she going to be okay?"

"Physically, yes. Emotionally? I really don't kn-" A loud thump from upstairs sent Castle sprinting up the stairs, his stool knocked over and Alexis close behind him. He skidded down the hallway, the harsh sound of her barking coughs reaching their ears as he darted into the room, Alexis just after him. He flipped on the light and found Kate shaking on the ground, her eyes shut against the bright light and the pain it caused. She was crumpled on the floor, the covers a tangled mess on the bed. "Kate!" He exclaimed, kneeling besides her and easing her into an upright position. "Alexis, hand me the cup of water, will you?" She did, and he guided it to her lips. "Take a drink when you can. Try to take a deep breath."

The jarring coughing continued, and Beckett's too-hot body spasmed against his. Every inhale sounded labored and painful, and tears were streaming down the normally stoic detective's face. Her hand was at her throat-it was obvious she was in a lot of pain.

Alexis stood by the doorway, at a loss for what to do. She wanted to hate Kate and be angry at her, but seeing the detective so vulnerable was making it hard. The last time she'd seen Kate so vulnerable was right after the shooting, and seeing the strong woman so fragile was hard to take. Her dad was rocking her slightly, trying to soothe her, but it wasn't working fast enough. Finally, the coughing slowed, then stopped.

"'Mb sorry, I'mb sorry, I'mb so sorry!" Beckett clutched her head, fingers in her hair, tears continuing to stream down her face.

"Shh, Kate, you have nothing to be sorry for. What's wrong, what's going on?"

"I…I…I didnd't mbeand to, I didnd't try to…I…" She desolved into sobs, which turned into wracking coughs. Castle pulled her closer.

"Kate, Kate, Kate…it's okay, you're okay. Just take deep breaths, okay? You're okay…"

Alexis cast him a helpless look and walked out, tears in her own eyes. She'd intended to be angry at Beckett, maybe even chew her out a bit, but all the fight went out of her. Never in her life would she have imagined strong, stoic Katherine Beckett sick and crying in her dad's arms-it was heartbreaking.

Castle felt completely at a loss for what to do. Kate couldn't get a decent breath for the coughing and crying-he had to get her to calm down.

"Beckett, you need to calm down. Breathe, Kate, just breathe…" Eventually, she was able to slow her breathing and halt the sobs, though it took some time. She stiffened and pushed away, stifling several sneezes into the crook of her elbow.

"Hggsht! Ngsh! Tsch!" They were soft and ticklish sounding, and seemed painful to hold in. She gasped following them and rubbed her head. Castle handed her a tissue from the box on the floor next to them, and she gave a painful-sounding gurgling blow.

"What happened?" Castle asked, once she had her breath back.

"I didnd't kdnow where I was…I heard Alexis and I wandted to leave. I got dizzy and fell over. God, I'mb so embarrassed…" She covered her face with her hands. Castle rubbed her back, and frowned at her trembling.

"You're cold. Let's get you back to bed-things will look better in the morning." She nodded and winced at the pain in her head. Castle stood and wrapped an arm around her waist, then lifted her gently to her feet. She swayed for a moment, then eased down onto the bed.

"I'mb sorry…for everythindg."

"Shh, just rest. I'll be here." He soothed her.

"Thadnk you, Castle." Her eyes brimmed with tears, and he thumbed one away that ran down her cheek.

"Always."

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[Heather]

Oh,my....this is so great! Can't wait for more :-)

[24Me]

Carry On

Hi everyone! I'm sorry it's been taking so long to get updates up-I've been really busy with school and rehearsals, and I've not been in a healthy place physically or mentally these last few months, which has made writing difficult. I'm feeling a bit better now and I've had some time to write over Easter break, so I've got a little bit written. This is a very short update and there's no sneezing, but this story is heavier on the angst than the sneezing anyway. I'll try to keep writing and updating as I can. Thank you for your patience, and please leave feedback/suggestions/criticism if you have time or are so inclined. It means a lot and helps me to improve.

Castle sighed softly and sat back against the chair, his tense muscles slowly unclenching as he looked at the shape of Kate's body under several blankets, the dim light in the corner bathing the room in soft shadows. From where he sat, Kate's face was dark, but he could tell from the soft moans and muted noises coming from her direction that her sleep was anything but peaceful. It was two in the morning, and although he was tired, the writer was too wound up to sleep. His worry for Kate proved to act as a stimulant, keeping his eyes from shutting no matter how hard he tried to close them. Beckett had been back asleep for about an hour, after spending almost forty five minutes tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable and too emotionally charged settle down. Her fear had been palpable, and the huge change in her demeanor scared Castle more than her obviously spiking fever and rattling cough.

The detective had, in a matter of days, gone from fiercely independent and in control of her emotions to a nervous, rattled wreck. She was clingy, overly emotional, and incredibly fragile, all of which was completely out of character for her. The speed with which she'd spiraled told Castle that this had been coming on for longer than anyone had known, rather then just being triggered by her fever. After the year she'd had, he didn't blame her for beginning to unravel, and he wanted nothing more than to help her get through the storm she was doing her best to weather. 

She coughed once, the sound junky and deep in her chest, and startled Castle from his swirling thoughts. He looked at her intently, ready to go to her if she woke, but she merely moaned and tossed her head several times before settling again. He relaxed, relieved that she was able to continue to sleep, as she desperately needed rest. 

However, Castle also knew he needed to get something in her. She hadn't eaten much of anything in days, and her already too-thin body looked even more fragile than it had been. She was painfully thin, and he suspected that she hadn't been eating properly for weeks. He was incredibly worried about her, and intended to use the time she was with him to help her body refuel as she began to recover. 

Castle felt tremendously guilty that he hadn't realized sooner that she'd been slipping. The warning signs had all been there-anxiety, irritability, depression, weight loss, and lack of focus-but he'd ignored them, thinking if he gave Beckett space she would feel better. Now he wished he'd pushed harder, no matter how she tried to shut him out of her life. He was beginning to suspect that she hadn't been keeping him out of her life for the three months she'd spent ignoring him after promising to call-he was starting to think that she'd been shutting herself in. She obviously hadn't been coping well on her own. Hell, that had been obvious from her first day back, when she'd looked pale, too thin, and exhausted. She'd entered the precinct looking as if she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, and now he was kicking himself for not recognizing how much she was struggling earlier. 
 
Unable to continue sitting there with his thoughts racing, Castle grabbed his laptop and began to make a list of all he needed to accomplish during the week(hopefully longer) that she'd be staying with him. Some of them were "immediate" goals, and others he would have to wait to complete, or even begin working on, until her physical health was more stable. 

Things I need to do ASAP: 

-Get her eating and drinking properly again 
-Start a medication regimen to lower her fever and cough under control 
-Make sure she continues to rest quietly and/or sleep 
-Keep her distracted: movies, music, jokes, and books 
-Make her feel loved, safe, and secure(and make her smile) 

Things that need to wait: 

-Talk to her about not calling 
-Get her to make peace with Alexis 
-Convince her to see a psychiatrist/psychologist, and possibly to start taking medications to get the anxiety/edginess under control 

With the lists made, Castle felt considerably more settled. It always helped him to have a game plan. Although he was hesitant to rest in case Kate woke up, he shut off his computer and set it beside the chair, before getting up and grabbing a pillow and a blanket from the hall closet. He settled back into the chair, and closed his eyes, hoping to get a few hours of sleep but doubting very much that he'd sleep long or well. 

[Klingon]

this was quite well written!

[Bashfulnewbie]

I just read it all, really good! Not my taste fetish wise but it was written so well and I love the characters so I couldn't stop.