Maybe the cats are allergic to you - Almost Human - Kennex (M)

[Dye]

I'm sorry for the awful title, but I've been writing this for a while now and it's not once had a title in that period of time.

If anyone doesn't know what Almost Human is, basically, it's set 34 years in the future, there are androids/synthetics who are assigned to detectives in the police force. John Kennex is a detective who just returned to the force, and gets assigned an MX. ...That doesn't end well, and he's given Dorian, a DRN. A synthetic made to act like a human, with a Synthetic Soul. Uh, it's just a really really fantastic show and I love it so much. Also, John has a synthetic leg. He doesn't like it.

Also, in the second episode of it, we're told that Kennex has a cat allergy. How beautiful. <3

Okay, so...

Part one?

"Detective, you okay?" Dorian asked, looking at his partner.

"I think you know the answer to that." John replied back, rubbing roughly at his eyes.

"…The cats?"

"….Yeah."

"I can get us allocated to another case—"

"No."

A cat meowed, rubbing against John's legs.

"D-Damn it… Hh…" he scrubbed at his nose. "Hhg'SSchUUHH!"

"Bless you. Want to get some meds?"

"Nah, they make me tired. We live in a world where Synthetics are everywhere, but we can't make a damn decent allergy medication."

"Well, you can't go on like this."

"Watch me."

"John."

"H-Hha— XxxSSCHHUU!"

"You weren't kidding when you said you were allergi--"

"GghSSCHUUH! XXshhUUU! HHgsSGHXX!" the sneezes were desperate, tickly. They bent him double, the sudden movement causing his leg to chirp at him, ‘Synthetic calibration incomplete'. "Ugh, sorry."

"Bless you."

"…Thadks."

Dorian offered him a tissue, which was accepted gratefully. The two returned to the room of the murder, a woman had been killed, and it looked like she had 3 - no, 4, cats to keep her company. She was lonely, single. The scene had been made to look like a suicide, but had tell-tale signs of a murder. The trajectory of the bullet was all wrong; it was obvious she hadn't done this herself. Whoever did it was a complete amateur. Luckily, that meant that this case should be solved easily. John thought this through quickly, Dorian analysing the samples from the crime scene.

"John, he hasn't left any DNA, all of the samples come back as the victim's. We know what bullets killed her, and from where, but who it was? We need to find the murder weapon."

"Yeah. Well, i-iihh… IIsHhkkshUU! …Is it here?"

Dorian looked around, for any sign of hidden compartments, "It's not here." He concluded, "We can leave here, look elsewhere. Find out where the killer went after shooting her."

"We can question the neighbours." Kennex decided, sneezing twice more, then sniffling thickly and rubbing at his eyes.

"I can question the neighbours; you need to recover, get some fresh air."

"I'b fide."

"Yeah, you really sound it."

"Shud ub, sbart-ass."

Dorian smiled, before furrowing his eyebrows at John's actions. "Rubbing your eyes will make it worse."

"Whad're you, by bother?"

Dorian said nothing.

"C'bod, led's go questiod the dahb deighbours." Kennex started to leave, sneezing harshly as he walked out.

"…Bless you. There's no stopping you, is there?" A sigh. "Just… Let me do the talking, all right?"

"….Dot all of it."

"Fine."

Dorian offered John another tissue, which he gratefully accepted, and blew his nose into.

"Better, see?" the man smiled, rubbing at his eyes again, which were red and watery.

The two soon stood in front of the neighbours' door, the apartment next to the victim's.

"Actually, John, wait here. I'll be right back." Dorian stated, walking away. Once he knew he was out of earshot of John, he initiated a call. "Captain Maldonado?"

"Dorian? Is it about the case?"

"No, it's about John. The victim had four cats."

"And?"

"He's severely allergic to cats, his histamine levels are high. I request that he be sent home, I don't know how he's even focusing at the moment. He's also refusing to take medication."

"See if you can finish up there first, then take him home. You drive. Then report to me with what you've found out."

"Yes, Captain." Dorian finished the call, and returned to John.

"What was that about?" the man said, nose twitching.

"Nothing important, just spoke to Maldonado about the case, updated her on the status."

"Mmhm." John seemed distant, elsewhere. He was focused on trying not to sneeze. He wrinkled his nose in ticklish annoyance.

"You look like a rabbit when you do that." Dorian commented.

John would have replied with a witty comeback, but his breath hitched, eyes fluttering shut, "Hhg'SsCCHUhh!"

"Bless you. Do you want to go home?"

John sniffled, "Doe." Dorian handed him another tissue, the man blowing his nose again, "We're not done here yet."

"Then let's get it over with as quickly as possible." Dorian knocked on the door, and the neighbours answered. "Hello, we'd like to ask you a few questions regarding last night's incident."

"Of course," a man, about late 40's, replied, "Come inside."

The questioning took 20 minutes at most, but felt like an hour to Kennex. He didn't want to sneeze in front of the witnesses, and his nose felt like it was on fire. He refrained from speaking, asking the odd question here and there. Dorian instructed Detective Paul to take the witnesses to the precinct once they were done.

Soon enough, the two were alone, bar the officers and MXs at the crime scene. Walking out, and ignoring Dorian's voiced concerns, John got into the car. Dorian followed, taking out another tissue and handing it to his partner.

"Here."

"Tha—tha…" John trailed off, raising the tissue to his nose. "Hh-aakSHHU! Ugh… Thadks."

"Bless you."

"D-Dot… d-doh… dode… HhGGShhhUUHH! TtshUUuh! XxsHEWWw! Hhg—hhaa… Hhhh…. Fugck…" John was stuck in a state of helplessness, mouth hanging open, nostrils quivering, and his eyes half-lidded and tearing up.

"Stuck?"

"Y-yeah…. Hhhaa…."

"Let me help."

Dorian, having handled the cats, had dander on his clothes; he took a small clump of it and held it under John's nose, telling him to breathe in. The effect was instantaneous.

"Uugh.. W-Whad habe you dode—hh-!! HhghSSCHUUUUH! TTSSHUUUHH!! GsXXSCHUUU! TtsCHHUU! XssHUUUuh! SSCHUUuh—Ow!!" John hit his head against the steering wheel as he pitched forward with the force of the sneezes. He rubbed at his head, and then at his eyes, sniffling pathetically. He gave Dorian a red-eyed, watery glare.

"Wow, bless you. Wanna go home?"

"Doe. Habe to repordt to Captaid Baldodado." John mumbled into his sodden tissue, trying to blink away his allergic tears. He attempted to sniffle, the sound was thick and wet, and he immediately stopped. "Well thad's fugki'g gross."

Dorian handed him a fresh tissue, "Just gotta ask if you want one, man."

Turning away, Kennex blew into the new tissue, immensely grateful – not that he'd show it. Once he felt like his nose wasn't clogged with cement, and he could somewhat pronounce things properly again, he started the car and begun driving to the precinct.

"By the way, not a word of this to Maldonado, okay? She doesn't need to know about cats, or allergies, or anything like that."

"Okay." Dorian wasn't going to mention the previous call to the Captain. And if he took control of the car and took the man home, John would click that something was the matter. So, he let him drive, though took over when the familiar glossed-over look crossed John's face, and he sneezed forcefully onto the steering wheel, usually in doubles.

Dorian turned on the radio – the drive felt stifled and quiet otherwise, their usual banter absent in the presence of sniffles. John gave him a look, but accepted it, before sneezing again.

"Bless you."

"You don't have to say that every time." Kennex quipped, rubbing forcefully at his red, tickly nose.

"I want to, it's polite."

"Do you even know what this feels like?"

"No, and I don't think I ever will. Though I was made to look and act human, I don't have any allergies. I don't think I can even sneeze. I could try, if you want."

"It's involuntary; I don't think you can just sneeze on command."

"You can induce one. I'm looking it up now – there are many ways to induce a sneeze, a common way is by rolling a tissue corner to a tip, and tricking your nose into believing that there is an irritant there."

"Fantastic, and why are you telling me?"

Dorian ignored this question, taking one of the tissues he had been providing for John, and twirling it to a neat point.

At his lack of response, John glanced over, and raised an eyebrow. "Are you seriously doing it?"

Dorian nodded, inserting it slowly. He gently tickled the inside of his nose with the tissue, feeling something there. He felt himself slowly losing control of his facial muscles, and his mouth involuntarily opened to take a hitching breath.

"It's working?" John commented in disbelief.

"A-Appears… hh… so…" Dorian's nose wrinkled, irritated by the tickle. It wasn't enough, so he persisted. "Ah—Hha--!" His eyes fluttered shut, and his eyebrows tugged upwards. John briefly wondered what Dorian's sneeze would sound like, though he wouldn't be kept in the dark for long.

"Hha-GGgXXZZShHH!" There was a crackling and buzzing as he sneezed, and then Dorian blinked his eyes open. "…Wow."

"Uhm… Bless you? That was… intense."

"Yeah... Um, hold on…" Dorian cupped his hands over his mouth and nose, and sneezed again forcefully. "HHa-KKZZZSHUU!!"

"Bless you again. Huh, turns out you can sneeze. Well done." Seeing his partner in that state brought a slight empathetic tickle to his own nose, rubbing his knuckles against his nostrils in an attempt to be rid of it.

"You okay?"

"M'fine. We're nearly at the precinct; let's pretend none of this happened when we're there, okay?"

"Gotcha."

Edited March 17, 2014 by Daisoku

[Fuzzy&Warm]

This story is wonderful and I want more! I haven't even seen this show yet, but I want to so bad. Darn FOX for screwing with release date so I missed it and can't get caught up because I don't live in the US to watch it on their website.

Anyway just wanted to say this first part is great and I hope there will be more soon. (and I like the title)

[Dye]

I completely understand you there, I don't live in the US so I have to look for other online means of watching it, but it's worth it, in my opinion.

And thank you so much ;w;

[MusicaDiabolos]

Darn FOX for screwing with release date so I missed it and can't get caught up because I don't live in the US to watch it on their website.

Get the MediaHint plugin for your browser! I live in the UK but I can access other countries' websites with that I watch Hulu all the time!

[SpookyScarySkeleton]

Oh I love this ;o inducing too? Great !. allergies and inducing

[Akahana]

I LOVE SYNTHETIC PEOPLE SNEEZING!!! It's wonderful~

[SterlingSilver]

I don't even know this fandom, but it was expertly written~! I got a feel for the characters immediately, and

I LOVE SYNTHETIC PEOPLE SNEEZING!!! It's wonderful~

GOTTA AGREE WITH YOU THERE <3. Gwaaaa~~~ It was so cute >w<~ And Dorian was so unabashed about it. Just went and did it~

Hahaha, that was great <3. Wonderful job!

[Bruyere]

I only saw the pilot of this but I am so glad that you took up the cat allergy line.

"It's working?" John commented in disbelief.

"A-Appears… hh… so…" Dorian's nose wrinkled, irritated by the tickle.

Absolutely adored Dorian inducing.

[sauce]

I am honestly just incredibly happy that someone else is watching this awesome show. The fact that you made a fic like this of it is the cherry on top of the cybernetic sundae. *w*

[4000tacobells]

I'm not familiar with the show, but I loved this! Robot sneezes have to be the cutest thing ever, and it's a great story <3

[blueberrymuffin]

This is delightful. I love the two of them together, and it reminds me that I need to catch up with this show.

[Dye]

Eeee, you guys >W> I probably wouldn't have been able to write the rest of this part if it weren't for you lot.

I also can't think of how to continue this, if anyone has any ideas, post em here??? i guess??? >W<

Part 2?

Pulling up, the two took a moment to just breathe, heads falling back against the headrests.

“Ready, Dorian? Let's get this over with.” John stated, getting out of the car.

“If you're ready, I'm ready.” The two headed inside, finding Maldonado to inform her of what they found out about the case.

“John? You look awful.” She then looked at Dorian, wondering why he hadn't taken the detective home yet, but figured that he had a good enough reason.

“Thanks for the compliment, Captain. Now, the case—“

“I've updated the precinct's files about the case, John.”

“Aaand thank you, Dorian, for interrupting me. The victim—“

“Kennex, I think Dorian can fill me in. Go home.” Maldonado commanded.

“Wh—Why? I can do my job, I'm fine.”

“John. That's an order; you're not fit to be on duty at the moment.”

John turned to Dorian, a murderous glint in his eyes, “Did you…?”

“Even if he didn't, it's still plainly obvious, just look at you. Dorian, take him home?”

“It would be my genuine pleasure, Captain.” The synthetic smiled, patting his partner on the shoulder.

John grumbled, and turned on his heels, starting to stride out of the precinct. He paused involuntarily, breath hitching. “I-Iiih… hh'TTSssHH!” he attempted to stifle, then rubbed his eyes.

“Bless you. Detective Kennex, are you okay?” Detective Stahl commented, concern obvious in her eyes.

“M'fine.” He replied quietly, “Just, got too close to some cats, is all.”

“That sounds terrible. Feel better, okay?” She leant forward and kissed him quickly on the cheek, causing the man's eyes to widen in surprise, and a blush to appear on his cheeks.

“E-Er, thanks. I'll, uh, see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Valerie smiled warmly, watching John and Dorian as they left.

Dorian was grinning. “Shut up.” John said, pre-emptively.

“I haven't said anything!”

“You don't need to.” They stepped outside and back into the car, Dorian driving them back to John's apartment. The drive was… eventful.

“You're adorable when you're flustered, John.” Dorian stated.

Blushing more, John bit back, “Am not, why would you think that, anyway!?”

“It's fact, not opinion.” The synthetic smirked.

“Right, get out. Walk to Rudy's.”

“You can't force me, I'm the one driving.” John grumbled, damn robot. Soon enough, they pulled up at John's apartment, the man reluctantly letting Dorian inside.

“You can leave me to my misery now.” Kennex stated, sitting on the sofa. Dorian shrugged and called Maldonado to give her more information about the case. Once she was informed, he sat down next to his partner.

“What the hell, I told you to leave!”

“And I'm not. You're not in a state to go get takeout noodles, I'll cook you something.”

“Good luck, like there's anything in the fri—hh... D-Doria-aahh… hh'TtsCCHUUH!”

“Bless you.”

“D-Doriad… your coad… c-cad fu—hh… XxsshHHUUU!! Ugh… Your coad is covered id cad fur.”

“Oh, right.” Dorian removed his coat, unknowingly letting more dander into the air. He put the coat in the washing machine, and started it.

“Hh-KKSssshHHU! XXssHHIUUU!”

“Bless you again. Hey, why don't you have a shower? It might help. I'll go out and get some food while you're doing that.”

“…Dot a bad idea.” John stood, heading to the shower. Inside the bathroom, he started stripping down.

“Will you be okay with your leg?”

“I'll be fine, damn it. I've got a seat, like an invalid.” Kennex removed his leg and placed it outside of the room tentatively, balancing on his one good leg.

“All right.” Dorian waited until he could hear running water before he left.

John sat under the hot water, letting it wash over him. The steam tickled his already irritated nose, and his breath hitched. The tickle disappeared at the apex of the sneeze, leaving him feeling tingly and unsatisfied. John growled, though the amount that he'd sneezed today was annoying, this feeling was worse. He tried inhaling more steam, but it didn't help. Sighing, he recalled what Dorian had done earlier that day. Reluctantly, he leant out of the shower, grabbing toilet paper. Twisting the corner to a point, he replicated Dorian's actions, gently pushing the point up one of his nostrils and twirling it to try and induce a sneeze. Soon, he felt an intense tickle, making his eyes water, and lip quiver.

“Heh.. H-hheh…” his breath hitched, “Ghh…” He pushed the point further into his nose, it brushing against a sensitive spot. He gasped, quickly tossing the makeshift tissue into the bin and returning his head to the shower, sneezing harshly.

“Ha—KKSSCHUUU!” The water sprayed out, John slipping off of the seat. He landed with a bump on the floor, groaning. His nose wasn't done yet, however. “Hhgh—XXsshhUUUhh! TtshhEEWW! GgsSSHHH!”

He sniffled thickly, stunned in the aftermath of what'd happened. Once he'd focused again, he tried to sit back up on the seat, but the floor was too slippery. Looks like that was where he was staying.

John was, unfortunately, trapped. He couldn't stand to reach the lock, or his seat, and Dorian was out. Deciding to make the most of it, he gave himself a thorough shower – well, as thorough as you can get when you're stuck on the floor. Eventually, after what seemed like a lifetime, John heard his apartment door open.

Dorian looked around the apartment, was John still in the shower? That didn't seem right. He called out, “John? You okay in there?”

Kennex didn't want to reply, but he didn't exactly have much of a choice. “…Not exactly.”

“What's wrong?”

“I… Ugh, I'm stuck.” He hated to admit it, and tried to preserve as much dignity as he could, covering what he could, considering Dorian would probably want to come in.

“Do you need my help?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“Mind if I come in?”

“Just get on with it.”

Dorian opened the door, taking in the situation. John looked away, face burning red from embarrassment. Dorian opened the door, turned off the shower, and extended a hand for John to take.

Kennex grabbed it, slowly standing with Dorian's help. The android grabbed and handed a towel to his partner, who immediately wrapped it around himself. He tried to hop to his leg, Dorian noticed and told him to stay where he was, fetching it himself.

“You didn't have to do that.” John commented, as his leg was clipped on.

“I know, you don't have to deal with everything on your own.”

“Hey, not a word of this to anyone. I mean it this time. I will personally tear you limb from limb if you tell anyone.”

“Threats, John?”

“Promise me.”

“Fine, I promise.”

“Good. Uh, could you give me a little privacy?”

“Sure thing.”

[ID2006]

I love that you continued this. And Kennex and his reluctant acceptance of help, so perfect.

[SpookyScarySkeleton]

Awh cute c:

Really like this

continue c:

[SterlingSilver]

Ahhh! Another part~! It's LOVELY~!! <3 Daisoku, you are a fantastic writer! Those build-ups <3

[Mei]

I don't know this fandom, but now I kind of want to.