Responsible Adults (Homestuck - Sick Striders - DirkJake plus child!Dave)

[4000tacobells]

A/N: This is a no-SBURB AU. So basically young adult Dirk is raising little Dave, with the help of his ever-patient boyfriend Jake. For those of you who don’t read Homestuck – okay so their body types and races are left up to your interpretation. Canonly the Striders are blond (I guess) with weird eye colours (Dirk is orange, Dave is red), and Jake is dark-haired and bespectacled. I tend to think of the Striders as being pretty fair and pale, whereas Jake is tanner and slightly taller than Dirk. Helpful reference pic! http://mozarelli.tum...ost/22594462343

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Sometimes you think you like your little brother more when he’s asleep.

You adore the kid, of course you do. However, sleeping four year olds are a lot less prone to scraping their knees and jamming their fingers in doors. Sleeping four year olds aren’t as likely to be sticking forks in toasters and getting into your swords.

Sleeping four year olds are also easy to deal with when they’re sick.

Despite having been put down for a badly-needed nap twenty minutes ago, Dave is up again. He crawls onto the couch beside you, where you’re playing video games like a responsible adult. Then he presses himself against your side and sniffles, a sound you’ve grown pretty accustomed to over the past few days. “Can I play, too?”

“Pretty sure I told you to stay in bed,” you reply, not removing your eyes from the screen.

Dave stays rooted to the spot, a trademark of the Strider stubbornness. You sigh and pause the game, placing the controller on the coffee table. You’re not in the mood for this, no sir. Although you’d never admit it, you’re not feeling too hot yourself. Your throat hurts, your nose is badly stuffed up, and all you want to do is curl up and sleep it off.

Unfortunately, you have a little brother to look after. Said little brother looks up at you with woozy red eyes and rubs at his similarly red nose. “Bro,” he whines, eyelids fluttering. He sounds as congested as you feel. “I feel sdneezy.” Sure enough, the kid makes good on his word. “Aah… echhiew! Hhihshiuh!!” He doesn’t quite turn away fast enough and you feel the spray of mucus and saliva against your arm. He then turns back with the tiredest eyes and the runniest nose you’ve ever seen, looking so utterly miserable that you feel a small tug on your heartstrings. Cringing, you grab a tissue from the box on the table and wipe his nose for him without even thinking about it. Really, you’ve seen the kid do grosser stuff. “Tell you what,” you begin, pinching the soft cloth under his nostrils to get all the gunk. “Jake’s gonna be here soon with cough syrup.” Understandably, Dave doesn’t look impressed. “And ice cream.” At that, he brightens. “But,” you add with just a little dramatic flair, “he can’t come until you’re asleep. He’s like the tooth fairy of dairy.” You realise too late just how dumb that sounds. Oh well. “We’ll get you back into bed and when you wake up, there’ll be a bowl of AmeriCone Dream with your name on it, okay?”

After that inspiring speech, Dave heads back to bed without complaint. You follow, and the scent of eucalyptus practically knocks you out. The humidifier sits on his desk, still spewing out steam. It seems to actually work, surprisingly enough. Maybe when Dave is better you’ll steal it for yourself.

You tuck him back under the covers and smooth his soft, practically white-blonde hair. “Get some shut-eye, lil’ dude. Jake’ll be here with the sweet loot soon.”

“Mhm,” he replies sleepily, eyelids drooping. “I like Jake.”

A slight smile tugs at your mouth. “I like him too.” The touching moment is interrupted when you feel your nose start to run, probably from the steam. Trying to hide your sniffling, you straighten up and head for the door. “Sweet dreams, kiddo.”

---

You’re barely out in the hallway when an unbearably tickly feeling blossoms deep inside your head. You try to hold it in but… “Huhh… AHKshhu!!” You hastily squelch the desperate sneeze in a tissue, realizing too late that it’s the same one you just used to wipe Dave’s snotty nose. God damn it, no wonder you’re sick. Just as you ball up the sodden cloth and toss it into the trash, you hear that familiar buzzing noise. With a little renewed enthusiasm, you head to the intercom by the door and push the button. “Strider residence,” you say in your best responsible adult voice, a hint of a smirk on your face.

You hear a fond chuckle, slightly crackly as it comes through the speaker. “It’s just me, Dirk.”

You can’t stop the very uncool smile that spreads over your face. No one raises your spirits like Jake English, boyfriend of the year. “I’ll buzz you in, J.”

You do just this, and before you know it Jake is bounding in with his arms full of grocery bags. He swiftly sets them down on the counter, brushes a stray autumn leaf from his shoulder and plants a kiss on your cheek. “Your intercom voice is very sweet,” he tells you.

You grin, despite feeling like thoroughly pulverised roadkill. “It’s for the odd occasions when our friends from CPS come to visit.” You say the name as though the three letters burn your mouth. Being the nineteen year old guardian of a small kid comes with its share of grievances, and dealing with social workers is definitely one of them.

Jake smiles good-naturedly and goes to open one of the bags. “Well, I’m not the CPS. Would the CPS bring…” he pauses dramatically and busts out a carton. “… Americone Dreeeeeam?” He always did have more of a dramatic flair than you.

“He’s gonna love you almost as much as I do,” you remark, taking it from him and placing it in the freezer for the time being.

“It’s vegan soy,” he pipes up. “I mean, real dairy is probably the last thing I’d give to a kid with a runny nose. He won’t know the difference, though.” You would have never thought of that, and you’re glad Jake insisted on doing the shopping. “Did I ever mention that I think you’re brilliant?” you ask, sidling over to hug him from behind while he starts unpacking. Chicken soup, children’s cold medicine, VapoRub, more tissues… “Wow, you thought of everything.”

Jake turns around in your arms and winks at you. “Always prepared, right? Say, where is the little guy?”

You sniffle as quietly as possible, your nose picking that opportune moment to start dripping again. “Sleeping. I figure we better let him rest, poor little shit’s not feeling too good.”

Jake frowns and hums a small note, then begins surveying you with his head tilted. “You’re not looking too keen either, love.”

Well, fuck. Trust Jake to see right through you. Still, you don’t have time to be sick, you’re too busy playing caretaker to your ailing little bro. “I’m fine,” you insist. “Really, I’m just-” you stop, that desperate tickle swirling around inside your head again. It comes on so fast that you don’t have a chance to stifle, and barely enough time to twist out of Jake’s arms. “AhhtCHH! Heh… HetchIUH!!”

You sneeze rather helplessly, with shuddering breaths in between. When you come to, you’re bent at the waist with one hand clamped over your mouth and nose.

“Good golly, bless you.” You hear the sound of a box being torn open, followed by the feeling of tissues being pushed into your free hand.

“Ugh, thag you.” You straighten up, taking the tissues and blowing your nose wetly. “Eugh, gross.”

Jake gives that quietly concerned look that says ‘poor sweet baby, you are so sick’. “I’m fine,” you repeat even though he hasn’t said anything.

Luckily, Jake doesn’t give you the usual ‘don’t even bother lying to me’ look. Instead he just takes your clean hand in both of his and gives it a gentle squeeze. “I know you feel the need to always put Dave’s needs before your own. But it’s alright if you’re not always running at peak condition. You’re only human.” He raises your hand to his mouth and kisses it lightly, and you sort of want to collapse into his arms forever. “So how about you take a well-deserved break and let me take care of the both of you?”

Dave runs out at that moment, while you stand there falling deeper and deeper in love. “Jake, Jake!” He seems to have developed some energy, despite having apparently been asleep just a minute ago. Jake grins, scooping the pyjama clad boy up and spinning around just once. It always makes you happy to see them get along so well. Well, when you’re not feeling jealous about your boyfriend’s superior parenting skills. Dave seems to have come down from his little adrenaline rush and soon slumps in Jake’s arms looking as tired and sickly as before.

“Turn that frown upside down, buddy,” says Jake. “I have the cure for all that ails you.”

Dave rubs at his little pink nose again, looking up at Jake with great interest. “What is it?”

“Ice cream, of course.” It amazes you how two little words can bring a smile to the kid’s face in a split second. “You can have some as soon as you take your medicine.” And god damn, Jake is on a roll today with the whole caretaking thing.

He quickly deposits a somewhat less enthused Dave onto the couch and then heads into the kitchen, grabbing the bottle of children’s medicine and what looks like a bottle of DayQuil, which you can only assume is for you. Wow. He really is always prepared. “Go sit down, Dirk,” he says gently, and you obey without any complaint. It beats standing around uselessly. You flop down beside your little brother, pulling the heavy afghan off the arm of the couch and draping it over him. You hesitate for a moment before pulling it over yourself as well. You can feel yourself beginning to shiver and you decide if Jake wants to look after you, you may as well get comfortable.

Dave looks up at you with wide, concerned eyes. “Bro, are you sick?” In his four years, the kid hasn’t so much as seen you cry, let alone seen you unwell. You consider lying to preserve his idea of you being some infallible superhero, but… “Yeah, lil’ dude. But you don’t have to worry, Jake’s going to look after us.”

“Indeed I am.” Jake plops down on the couch beside you, holding two little plastic medicine cups. “And these are from the strapping gentleman at the end of the bar.” He hands you one cup and Dave the other, then watches to make sure you drink them. Dave holds his, grimacing, but makes no move to actually swallow the contents of his cup. You realise that you’re going to have to step up and be a good example. God damn it, being a responsible adult is hard work. “Let’s both do it at the same time,” you say, raising the little cup to your lips. With a final grumble, Dave does the same. Two seconds later you’ve both drained your cups and are making identical faces of disgust. Satisfied, Jake takes the empty cups and heads for the kitchen again. “Alright, I suppose such a brave feat warrants some ice cream.” He pulls out bowls, spoons and the frozen dairy product in question. You decide it really is for the best to let him take control, at least this time around.

Moments later, the three of you are curled up under the same blanket, eating ice cream and watching the only kid-friendly thing you could find on Netflix. Dave has abandoned you to crawl into Jake’s lap but you’re too tired to feel rejected. Actually, you’re too tired to feel anything other than awful. Still, you can’t find it in yourself to be miserable. In fact, it feels almost like you have everything you’ll ever need under that blanket.

---

Hope ya'll enjoy <3

[SpookyScarySkeleton]

I do enjoy, more <3

[42686]

oh goodness, i love this au :3

[LeapYearKisses]

This is brilliant and my favorite kind of AU! Thanks for sharing this lovely gem with us.

[4000tacobells]

Aww, thank you guys! Yes I do enjoy a good SBURBless domestic setting too <3

[Natto]

Aww, that's adorable! Most of what I know of Homestuck comes from friend's descriptions, but I know these characters just vaguely enough that I was interested. Once I clicked on the story I felt like you introduced them well enough that I didn't really need to know about canon. I love how protective and loving the older brother is--having just spent the day taking my own little brother to the hospital and missing class to do so, I can vouch for how older siblings stop giving a shit about themselves when it comes to their siblings. I like Jake's intervention though--Dirk does need to take care of himself, too. I really liked a lot of the dialogue, it's very snappy and entertaining. Overall, great story. Thanks for posting!

[4000tacobells]

Aw, thank you so much! And sorry to hear about your little bro having to go to hospital, I really hope he's okay <3

[Natto]

He's fine, it was a false alarm! Thanks for asking, and sorry about randomly dumping that info on you--I was just reminded of it by the sibling stuff here.

[4000tacobells]

No please, I absolutely love knowing that my writing was able to resonate with someone on a personal level. Well, unless it resonates in a way that is triggering or distressing or something, I wouldn't want that. I'm hella glad to hear he's okay

[Illiana]

I keep re-reading this and forgetting to tell you how awesome it is! Totally love it, come back for more. 10/10, would do again XD

[squealofapproval]

Did I post here? Damn. Guess not. 4tb, we should be the taco twins I LOOVE this!

[4000tacobells]

Heheh, thank you friend and 'taco twin' is definitely a thing I want on my resume.

[Secret Sneezer]

Sooooo cute! the sick little striders are adorable, and Jake's an awesome person to take care of them! you did amazing!