On a mission to get sick: my logs

[CHOCOLATE <3]

Have you gotten sick yet?

I'm not feeling very well, but I think it has more to do with the fact that I pulled an all nighter last night, and monday night, and only got about three or so hours both nights, than actually coming down with something. Plus, I've only eaten a bagel all day, and it's 2:42 PM (I have class literally all day, from 8 AM to 5:45 PM, and only have a two hour break. Which is at an inconvenient time for getting food)

I'm in such a bad mood though, everyone is pissing me off (this dude sat on the bench next to me when there were about ten other benches around which were unoccupied. get away from me. I don't want to be by people)

I just feel bleh, and want to sleep. And I've been really really stressed lately, I'm just ready for school to be done.

Oh, that sounds horrible! hope you get some sleep!

Thank you!

I'm actually pretty good at coping with being sleep deprived, I just forget to feed myself, so...

[Hygge]

Nope I haven't gotten sick. Surprise surprise

Lame no sleep and no food though. Haha I love your dude don't sit near me on this bench experience hehehe xD I know how you feel. I get all don't want to be around people sometimes too, which is conflicting when you need to be around people to get yourself sick I wish I was in school lol. Like now I don't even know what to do with life lol, work doesn't feel like purpose or bettering myself xP

And I totes cope incredibly well without sleep too, and I often don't feed myself of food isn't like literally put in front of me lol. We're twinners but hope stuff gets less stressful. TGIF! Sleep the entire weekend

I haven't even gone out much lately. I haven't had work the last few days, still trying to apply to more places to get a better job. Going a little stir crazy and bf guy works tomorrow so I'm still here by myself hah.

I need a nickname for him on here, I don't even know what to call him.. Let's go with.. Onion. From here on out he's onion.

Anyway my brother is thinking of moving here, so I might end up living with him instead of with onion. But I'm totally conflicted haha. I like this apartment, I really don't want to make onion pay for it alone even though we talked about me not being on the lease and potentially moving out of here. But still. And my room has random elephants on the wall and onion makes me food all the time lol and we get movies and have fun. I just don't exactly want to like be romantic with him so it's a bit complicated to live together.

Ugh I think I'm unintentionallt flirting. Or leading him on. And I don't want to but I also don't want to always be a jerk and always turning him away from my company and stuff. Like our apartment is pretty open and just has a few closets, so when he goes like in the bathroom or something I'll randomly go hide somewhere. And there's like nowhere to hide lol. So it's usually a closet. And I'll sarcastically run through the hall and open and close doors to make noise, then go sit somewhere like in his closet, and wait for him to find me haha. Or throwing a pillow at him and running away. Haha I just mean it playfully and I get bored of sitting in front of a screen but I don't want to lead him on ahhhhh....

That's all. Nothing cold related boohoo.

[CHOCOLATE <3]

Haha I love your dude don't sit near me on this bench experience hehehe xD

And he sat pretty close to me, too. He wasn't even cute. GET OUT >

My best friend's roommate was sick, she had gone out to get food, and my best friend left me in the room to go to the bathroom, so I was touching everything her roomie might have touched XD

I suggest letting him know that you don't have any romantic feelings for him. It'll be an awkward conversation, but he doesn't deserve to be lead on (no matter how unintentional it may be), and you deserve to be able to find the right guy without worrying that you have a guy liking you, and feeling guilty about it (that's what it's like when the rare moment where a guy likes me comes along XD)

[Hygge]

My best friend's roommate was sick, she had gone out to get food, and my best friend left me in the room to go to the bathroom, so I was touching everything her roomie might have touched XD

I suggest letting him know that you don't have any romantic feelings for him. It'll be an awkward conversation, but he doesn't deserve to be lead on (no matter how unintentional it may be), and you deserve to be able to find the right guy without worrying that you have a guy liking you, and feeling guilty about it (that's what it's like when the rare moment where a guy likes me comes along XD)

So sneaky hehe. As always, I'm hopeful to hear that your attempted worked.

Yeah, thing is, we've had that awkward conversation like a dozen times probably. I tell him I'm not interested in stuff romantically, but he's a great friend and I don't want to lose the friendship. He acts like he totally understands and gets it, but he's always trying to get back to a romantic relationship. So then we talk about it again... and he wants to change everything he can about himself so that I'll stay with him... and I'm like, I don't think he's an awful person, and turning him down makes me feel so mean. But I tell him that he deserves someone he doesn't have to change for, someone that loves HIM exactly the way he is, cus he should never have to change to be what someone else wants... I don't want that for him or me. Then he just kind of nods and agrees, and I'm like, so are we good as friends? And he says he understands, and he says he wants the same thing, but he continues to pursue me...

Anyway I just don't know what to do with it, because I really don't want to lead him on. I think that's pretty cruel. But we have talked about it so much, and it doesn't seem like there's much more I can do other than just either totally give in and like be with him forever and try to learn to tolerate the things I don't like about him, or I break it off and never see him or talk to him again. I really don't want the first option, I would rather be single forever than settle for someone I don't truly love... and the second option like isn't even possible right now haha. We're living together, we definitely don't have enough money for me to move out, plus the lease... And that's just the stuff to make it possible in the first place, even after that I would have to just ignore all of his texts and calls and I would feel like such a bad person to do that to him... ugh.

But the line is so thin... I can't have a good time with him without him thinking oh, she's having a good time with me again, she must be willing to give it another chance. I can't joke and smile or play games together or have like any physical contact without him taking it the wrong way. I don't want to lead him on but I don't want to make me and him miserable by like, never being happy around him and avoiding him all the time....

So. Complicated. haha. I'm at the point where like... I'm just tired of overthinking it. I just want to be who I am and not worry about whether it's leading him on or not. So I'll just be who I am, and if he misunderstands my happiness or playfulness as me flirting or encouraging him, then I'm just going to constantly remind him that we're just friends. Not even make a conversation out of it because I don't feel like that's going anywhere. But ever time he tries to cuddle me or kiss me, I just have to constantly remind him that we're just friends or something... I don't know.

Aaaanyway that's that. Totally tmi, and I just don't like talking about it to people because people always take a side and either think he's an idiot for not understanding, or that I'm a jerk for leading him on. It's not that simple.

I haven't been around anyone that's sick yet... Just like strangers in stores still. And I just try to be...childish... in the way I touch things, touch my face. I almost think I would be more likely to get sick if I were using hand sanitizer every time I walked in and out of a door or used a credit card machine or touched like anything lol. And never touched my face, acted like a total germaphobe. I'm like ever so slightly tempted to just act the germaphobe and see if I get sick then. But that's like not who I am lol. That feels... like it makes me think I'm acting like I'm better than everyone else lol. Like they're these animals that I can't touch and am totally disgusted by. Yeah yeah, I know that's not true at all, I know germaphobes aren't like that and no one views them that way, it's just that acting like a germaphobe when I'm not one feels so forced and fake and blah.

[CHOCOLATE <3]

My best friend's roommate was sick, she had gone out to get food, and my best friend left me in the room to go to the bathroom, so I was touching everything her roomie might have touched XD

I suggest letting him know that you don't have any romantic feelings for him. It'll be an awkward conversation, but he doesn't deserve to be lead on (no matter how unintentional it may be), and you deserve to be able to find the right guy without worrying that you have a guy liking you, and feeling guilty about it (that's what it's like when the rare moment where a guy likes me comes along XD)

So sneaky hehe. As always, I'm hopeful to hear that your attempted worked.

Yeah, thing is, we've had that awkward conversation like a dozen times probably. I tell him I'm not interested in stuff romantically, but he's a great friend and I don't want to lose the friendship. He acts like he totally understands and gets it, but he's always trying to get back to a romantic relationship. So then we talk about it again... and he wants to change everything he can about himself so that I'll stay with him... and I'm like, I don't think he's an awful person, and turning him down makes me feel so mean. But I tell him that he deserves someone he doesn't have to change for, someone that loves HIM exactly the way he is, cus he should never have to change to be what someone else wants... I don't want that for him or me. Then he just kind of nods and agrees, and I'm like, so are we good as friends? And he says he understands, and he says he wants the same thing, but he continues to pursue me...

Anyway I just don't know what to do with it, because I really don't want to lead him on. I think that's pretty cruel. But we have talked about it so much, and it doesn't seem like there's much more I can do other than just either totally give in and like be with him forever and try to learn to tolerate the things I don't like about him, or I break it off and never see him or talk to him again. I really don't want the first option, I would rather be single forever than settle for someone I don't truly love... and the second option like isn't even possible right now haha. We're living together, we definitely don't have enough money for me to move out, plus the lease... And that's just the stuff to make it possible in the first place, even after that I would have to just ignore all of his texts and calls and I would feel like such a bad person to do that to him... ugh.

But the line is so thin... I can't have a good time with him without him thinking oh, she's having a good time with me again, she must be willing to give it another chance. I can't joke and smile or play games together or have like any physical contact without him taking it the wrong way. I don't want to lead him on but I don't want to make me and him miserable by like, never being happy around him and avoiding him all the time....

So. Complicated. haha. I'm at the point where like... I'm just tired of overthinking it. I just want to be who I am and not worry about whether it's leading him on or not. So I'll just be who I am, and if he misunderstands my happiness or playfulness as me flirting or encouraging him, then I'm just going to constantly remind him that we're just friends. Not even make a conversation out of it because I don't feel like that's going anywhere. But ever time he tries to cuddle me or kiss me, I just have to constantly remind him that we're just friends or something... I don't know.

Aaaanyway that's that. Totally tmi, and I just don't like talking about it to people because people always take a side and either think he's an idiot for not understanding, or that I'm a jerk for leading him on. It's not that simple.

I haven't been around anyone that's sick yet... Just like strangers in stores still. And I just try to be...childish... in the way I touch things, touch my face. I almost think I would be more likely to get sick if I were using hand sanitizer every time I walked in and out of a door or used a credit card machine or touched like anything lol. And never touched my face, acted like a total germaphobe. I'm like ever so slightly tempted to just act the germaphobe and see if I get sick then. But that's like not who I am lol. That feels... like it makes me think I'm acting like I'm better than everyone else lol. Like they're these animals that I can't touch and am totally disgusted by. Yeah yeah, I know that's not true at all, I know germaphobes aren't like that and no one views them that way, it's just that acting like a germaphobe when I'm not one feels so forced and fake and blah.

It didn't work, but I wasn't expecting it to, since I did a less than half-assed job. I touched the railings on the bed, but that was it XD part of me was like "I KNOW MY BODY CAN RECOGNIZE COLD GERMS, COME ON!" but it took that long to get sick, so...haha

I'm kind of getting the feeling that he's not taking you seriously (either that or he's incredibly thick-skulled) if he keeps pursuing you AFTER you tell him multiple times that you aren't interested.

Whatever you do, don't give in and settle. It's not fair to either of you if you decide just to say screw it, and stay with him. I agree with you, I'd rather be single forever than be with someone I don't truly love. I think your best option is to cut it off and break all contact with him. You definitely aren't leading him on, since he knows you aren't interested, but he's going to keep pursuing you as long as you two are living together and he has contact with you. I know it'll be hard, since you still love him as a friend, but by him continuing to pursue you against your wishes, he isn't respecting you or your decision.

I dunno, that's just my opinion

[CHOCOLATE <3]

Older brother is sick (he's right at the beginning of it)

commence attempts to catch it

[Hygge]

Older brother is sick (he's right at the beginning of it)

commence attempts to catch it

Keep me updated

Yeah in all honesty I agree that it would probably be best to have a clean break from the bf but... We have an apartment that we're both on the lease for a year now haha. I don't know. I'd rather focus on the good parts, moving in with him totally saved me from living with my parents. I love the weather here. I love being closer to friends. I like our apartment.

Ugh I was so paranoid tho. It's super cold here now. Onion came back from work like sniffling the tiniest bit and I was like. No. Please. No. I can't even. Lol. But seems like it was just from coming in the cold air.

Ahhh I want a better job. It's so difficult.

[dodge]

I don't have any good obs to share or anything, but you gotta know that I feel you. I've decided I'm actually so immune to flu-like disease that the government would chop me up if they knew. My girlfriend has been sick about 5 times in the last year and a half. The "protocol" doesn't change... If anything we spend more time together. It was a joke at first but now I'm actually questioning how many years it'll be until I get sick again.

[CHOCOLATE <3]

Keep me updated

Except it doesn't seem to be a head cold, it's his throat that hurts and a cough, not sure if I want that...assuming it works. I'm not getting a flu shot this year, because I really don't think they do anything. My soon to be sister-in-law (four more months, YAY!) is studying to be a nurse, and she said I don't need one, 'cause I'm not old XD

[Hygge]

Except it doesn't seem to be a head cold, it's his throat that hurts and a cough, not sure if I want that...assuming it works. I'm not getting a flu shot this year, because I really don't think they do anything. My soon to be sister-in-law (four more months, YAY!) is studying to be a nurse, and she said I don't need one, 'cause I'm not old XD

haha, I'm into all illness... except the puky kind. Can't stand that kind. But I'd still be desperately going after it, and you never know if you'll experience the exact same symptoms just because it's the same virus. they do morph haha. I've never gotten a flu shot. And to my knowledge, I've never gotten the flu. I've gotten really bad colds, but they were obviously colds, had all the nasal symptoms going on and stuff. And never had a fever that lasted for like a week before. But I've been around so many people who had the flu, literally confirmed by tests, and I never got it from them. Even my best friend when she had the swine flu and we shared a bed and hung out a ton the day before she found out it was the swine flu. And cousin that coughed literally inches away from my face. Come on. Why is my immune system so strong.

I kind of think that if you're going to get the flu, it's best to get it when you're not old and frail lol. Let your immune system build up so you don't die from the flu when you're like 60 or something xP I'm the kind of person that's like... let your body do all the work unless something is seriously, SERIOUSLY wrong. No antibiotics, no flu shots, none of that stuff that isn't going to hurt you anyway. Sure it's a pain to have the flu, and to have to wait like a week or 2 for your sinus infection to go away... But when you're old and need the antibiotics and the shots to work, your body won't have built up a tolerance to them or so my theory goes. lol

I was like randomly super sniffly earlier today. It was like allergy stuff, not stuffy or anything at all just like one of my nostrils kept filling up.. Usually after a shower, the allergy stuff completely goes away. No different this time. I just kind of felt annoying talking to someone on the phone and with bf while we were playing a game, and I'm like uhh try to be sneaky and wipe and sniffle without drawing attention haha.

But random dumb experiences like that make me like... why can't those symptoms just stay and get worse. Instead of last for like half an hour. I want to actually be sick xP It's so cold and snowy here. I'm thinking of sitting out on the balcony tonight or something xP

[CHOCOLATE <3]

Except it doesn't seem to be a head cold, it's his throat that hurts and a cough, not sure if I want that...assuming it works. I'm not getting a flu shot this year, because I really don't think they do anything. My soon to be sister-in-law (four more months, YAY!) is studying to be a nurse, and she said I don't need one, 'cause I'm not old XD

haha, I'm into all illness... except the puky kind. Can't stand that kind. But I'd still be desperately going after it, and you never know if you'll experience the exact same symptoms just because it's the same virus. they do morph haha. I've never gotten a flu shot. And to my knowledge, I've never gotten the flu. I've gotten really bad colds, but they were obviously colds, had all the nasal symptoms going on and stuff. And never had a fever that lasted for like a week before. But I've been around so many people who had the flu, literally confirmed by tests, and I never got it from them. Even my best friend when she had the swine flu and we shared a bed and hung out a ton the day before she found out it was the swine flu. And cousin that coughed literally inches away from my face. Come on. Why is my immune system so strong.

I kind of think that if you're going to get the flu, it's best to get it when you're not old and frail lol. Let your immune system build up so you don't die from the flu when you're like 60 or something xP I'm the kind of person that's like... let your body do all the work unless something is seriously, SERIOUSLY wrong. No antibiotics, no flu shots, none of that stuff that isn't going to hurt you anyway. Sure it's a pain to have the flu, and to have to wait like a week or 2 for your sinus infection to go away... But when you're old and need the antibiotics and the shots to work, your body won't have built up a tolerance to them or so my theory goes. lol

I was like randomly super sniffly earlier today. It was like allergy stuff, not stuffy or anything at all just like one of my nostrils kept filling up.. Usually after a shower, the allergy stuff completely goes away. No different this time. I just kind of felt annoying talking to someone on the phone and with bf while we were playing a game, and I'm like uhh try to be sneaky and wipe and sniffle without drawing attention haha.

But random dumb experiences like that make me like... why can't those symptoms just stay and get worse. Instead of last for like half an hour. I want to actually be sick xP It's so cold and snowy here. I'm thinking of sitting out on the balcony tonight or something xP

I'm pretty sure I had strep throat last year, because I wanted to cry every time I swallowed. Other than being tired, I felt fine, so I just practically overdosed on tylenol and it went away on its own.

[AnteatersOnParade]

Just my two cents on meds (sorry not trying to preach, just full of information haha); There are definitely some things that you want to take antibiotics for and that's certain bacterial infections (viruses need to be treated with antivirals not antibiotics). Plus, you need to take them all and not just until you feel better because not doing so is how you get those weird strains that are resistant to treatment. But yeah, strep is a great example. You can have a sore throat and not have strep (which is a specific streptococcus infection) and still have a killer time with it (like the worst sore throat of my life by far was when I had mono in high school and that pretty much has no treatment other than steroids to hopefully speed things up but otherwise you just have to rest it out). One way that people use to identify strep throat is taking a flashlight and looking down your throat; seeing just red means that you and your throat probably feel horrible but you probably don't have strep. You can tell you have strep when you look and see little white dots deepish in your throat. But - if you don't treat a strep infection, it can turn into scarlet fever (you don't want this) and that can spread to mess up your heart and liver and stuff. So if you have something that requires meds, definitely get the meds. If it's something that is med optional, then totally, do whatever makes you comfortable. But yeah, do what makes you comfortable but also do do what's probably necessary.

[Paul]

I just got hit with a really bad cold and it reminded me of your post here. If I could I would give you a hug and a handshake, that would be enough to do it.

[Hygge]

I just got hit with a really bad cold and it reminded me of your post here. If I could I would give you a hug and a handshake, that would be enough to do it.

Making me so jealous lol. Send it my way.

Yeah I've read the strep throat can turn into scarlet fever stuff. Aware of that. If I were like suffering enough and was pretty confident I had strep and was getting worse, that's the kind of occasion I would actually go to a doctor for. But not like oh crap this stuffy nose turned into a sinus headache and for my own comfort I'll just speed it along with antibiotics. Nah. I Can handle something like a sinus infection, because I want antibiotics to be effective if I ever need them for something outrageous like a blood infection or something lol. I just think they're way overprescribed for things people don't need them for, just because patients would be mega unhappy to pay a ton of money to go to a doctor and hear "just wait a couple more weeks, it'll go away." They want something to fix it asap and even when antibiotics don't fix things like viruses, doctors still give them out so readily. Yeah and ignore the fact that I'm generalizing all as "doctors" because I know it's more like physicians and technical jargon but you get the point haha.

Anyway I didn't even get strep like a couple of months ago when my cousin had it and she licked me lol. Same cousin that coughed in my face when she had the flu. Boooo the fortress is too strong. But sore throats suck haha, so I'm pretty okay with not getting strep. Just another thing that I like exposed myself to because I wanted to see if I would actually get it xP

It's so cold and snowy here and I love it. I don't like going out at night by myself, I haven't lived here for long enough to feel safe doing that xP but part of me wants to just experiment with the cold weather and see if it lowers my immune system.

[CHOCOLATE <3]

Yeah I've read the strep throat can turn into scarlet fever stuff. Aware of that

I was so freaked out I was going to get scarlett fever XD But when I finally made myself not be lazy and go to the clinic on campus for antibiotics a week later, it went away. I was so close to crying so many times when I had it. Definitely the worst sore throat I've ever had

[AnteatersOnParade]

I remember when strep was going around my dorm floor (luckily I managed to avoid it!) and I remember this one girl kept chanting "the doctor said that my meds will make me feel less streppy and more peppy!" A year or two after I stopped living on campus pertussis/whooping cough erupted in one dorm... *shudder* I hate that whooping cough psa that always plays (I don't know if it's local or national) of the baby that keeps coughing... I can hear it now...

[CHOCOLATE <3]

I remember when strep was going around my dorm floor (luckily I managed to avoid it!) and I remember this one girl kept chanting "the doctor said that my meds will make me feel less streppy and more peppy!" A year or two after I stopped living on campus pertussis/whooping cough erupted in one dorm... *shudder* I hate that whooping cough psa that always plays (I don't know if it's local or national) of the baby that keeps coughing... I can hear it now...

I thought it was just a really bad sore throat (that felt like I was swallowing knives), but when it lasted more than a day, I self-diagnosed myself XD I HATE that commercial. Makes me cringe every time. Poor baby sounds like he's dying *cringes*

[CHOCOLATE <3]

I remember when strep was going around my dorm floor (luckily I managed to avoid it!) and I remember this one girl kept chanting "the doctor said that my meds will make me feel less streppy and more peppy!" A year or two after I stopped living on campus pertussis/whooping cough erupted in one dorm... *shudder* I hate that whooping cough psa that always plays (I don't know if it's local or national) of the baby that keeps coughing... I can hear it now...

Also dorm living is a wonderful breeding ground for illnesses of all sorts. I only got sick once living there for a full year (school year), which was surprising in itself (since I never get sick...or hardly ever)

[CHOCOLATE <3]

I just realized I've been eating pomegranates more often, since they're in season (and my favorite fruit) but dammit it strengthens your immune system

[C-Money]

I just got hit with a really bad cold and it reminded me of your post here. If I could I would give you a hug and a handshake, that would be enough to do it.

Making me so jealous lol. Send it my way.

Yeah I've read the strep throat can turn into scarlet fever stuff. Aware of that. If I were like suffering enough and was pretty confident I had strep and was getting worse, that's the kind of occasion I would actually go to a doctor for. But not like oh crap this stuffy nose turned into a sinus headache and for my own comfort I'll just speed it along with antibiotics. Nah. I Can handle something like a sinus infection, because I want antibiotics to be effective if I ever need them for something outrageous like a blood infection or something lol. I just think they're way overprescribed for things people don't need them for, just because patients would be mega unhappy to pay a ton of money to go to a doctor and hear "just wait a couple more weeks, it'll go away." They want something to fix it asap and even when antibiotics don't fix things like viruses, doctors still give them out so readily. Yeah and ignore the fact that I'm generalizing all as "doctors" because I know it's more like physicians and technical jargon but you get the point haha.

Anyway I didn't even get strep like a couple of months ago when my cousin had it and she licked me lol. Same cousin that coughed in my face when she had the flu. Boooo the fortress is too strong. But sore throats suck haha, so I'm pretty okay with not getting strep. Just another thing that I like exposed myself to because I wanted to see if I would actually get it xP

It's so cold and snowy here and I love it. I don't like going out at night by myself, I haven't lived here for long enough to feel safe doing that xP but part of me wants to just experiment with the cold weather and see if it lowers my immune system.

I feel exactly the same way about antibiotics and stuff. The only thing I'd take them for is strep. I don't get strep that often, but if I do, I know I have it because I feel like I got hit by a train. All the other sore throats, congestion, colds I just don't even go to the doctor for because I know that they will give me penicillin or something that I don't need. They over prescribe that wayyy too much. I also want it to be effective if I ever actually needed it.

[CHOCOLATE <3]

They over prescribe that wayyy too much

Oh, most definitely. When my older brother was born, it was at the time when they prescribed antibiotics for every little thing, and now he has really bad allergies and gets sick more often than anyone else in the house. By the time I came around, they stopped prescribing them for everything, and I almost never get sick. I've been on antibiotics once in my life, and it was when I was 17 for an ear infection.

[C-Money]

You must be really healthy then to have only used them one time. I feel bad for your brother though because he got the worst of that antibiotics craze. Once I was old enough to understand, I just started straight up declining when the doctor gave me a prescription lol.

[Hygge]

I've only been prescribed antibiotics twice. The first was bronchitis stuff when I was in Germany. I didn't want to take them because I doubt it would've turned into pneumonia or anything worse for me, I think it would've just gone away on its own. But the doctor was nice and gave me super weak antibiotics that I only took once a day for 3 days haha.

Then I took them for tonsillitis right after I graduated high school. And it was like a big freaking dose lol. It wasn't even that painful and it was just one of my tonsils, but they thought they might have to take them out and I was going to Hawaii for 3 months in like 2 days so they gave me enough for me to take them twice a day for like 2 weeks, then have a week off, then take them for another 2 weeks. I took them for like one week. I still had them until I moved, then was like, I should throw these out lol.

The tonsillitis stuff went away in like a few days, but since then, my allergies affect my throat way more than they used to, or I just am more focused on it maybe. Always makes my throat all itchy and stuff blah. At one point when I was really desperate to get sick I took those leftover antibiotics for a week and was like... What am I doing. I want a cold not some kind of infection. And I read that antibiotics make you really prone to getting infections uh down there so I was like no. I don't want that to happen lol.

Anyway yeah I hate that whooping cough commercial too. I like mute it every time. It sounds so painful and I just don't even want to hear that I've never had strep or whooping cough or anything like that to my knowledge, I don't think I've even had the flu. There was one time I has this ridiculously painful sore throat for like 2 days, I was totally convinced it was going to either become a really bad cold or it was strep and would stick around and get worse lol. It was terrible. When I remember things in the past I only remember like the good parts. In my mind my past was amazing, I'm so sentimental and nostalgic about stuff lol, and I occasionally remind myself in the moment that it is really unpleasant, and in the future when I think back on it and think "that wasn't so bad, I miss it" to remember that it was actually terrible and I would never want to experience it again lol. So for that moment, I couldn't sleep at all, swallowing was awful, I like wanted to cry lol. And I told myself to remember how terrible it was, and to never want to be sick like that again because it was so painful. But even now I look back on it and I'm like... Was it really that bad?

I feel like I'm willing to accept any kind of virus like that. Not like stomach virus or anything like that, just absolutely any virus that had nose / throat / chest symptoms. I would take it. I literally pray sometimes to become so sick that it convinces me to never want to be sick again haha. I doubt something like that could even happen, eventually I would look back on the super terrible sickness and remember the smallest bit that I enjoyed, like sneezing, and I would do anything to get it again xP

I do totally like being sick though. It's not something I just look back on and have fond fake memories about lol. I'm definitely embarrassed and self conscious about being sick in public, but I still totally love it. Even having mild fevers. I don't even really know why, it just feels totally authentic.

Every day we go out, I "forget" my coat and rush out on flip flops like "we'll only be gone for a bit" lol. There's so much snow, I feel like a loser, like some weird kid trying to prove how tough they are by braving the cold weather in t shirts and flip flops hah. But I want to at least try it.

[SneezyLeo]

The last time I was on antibiotics was for pneumonia I contracted while in the hospital for something unrelated - the doctors were like "here, we will give you amoxicillin first and if that doesn't work we will hit it with something else, like Zithromax or Keflex" and I was thinking to myself that maybe if antibiotics weren't so over-prescribed we wouldn't be in this ongoing predicament of "how do I kill this thing?" Ordinarily I just rely on my immune system, because it's pretty strong, but I allowed them to give me antibiotics this time since my immune system was already focused on fighting something else and the high fever and pleurisy from coughing so much was a real bummer...

In other news, the fiancée is ill and I definitely purposely exposed myself to as many germs as possible, in as many ways as I could think to do, but I'm mostly feeling like whatever I've picked up - from her or from my other friends who are sneezing and coughing barely covered all the time - is absolutely sub-clinical. I'm barely sniffly and I can't imagine I'll have this longer than 2 or 3 days. Ain't that always how it goes?

[CHOCOLATE <3]

You must be really healthy then to have only used them one time. I feel bad for your brother though because he got the worst of that antibiotics craze. Once I was old enough to understand, I just started straight up declining when the doctor gave me a prescription lol.

Then again, it might be my immune system, because our younger brother is 8, and he's been on antibiotics 3 times already