Just Another Boy, a GLEE Fanfic

[Watercolor Daydreams]

Hellooo! So, I was watching the GLEE episode “Diva” the other day and swooning over Blaine’s adorable stuffy voice and sighing because there was no sneezing, when suddenly, an idea popped into my head: a re-write of his scenes as sneezefics. I don’t know if it was a good or bad one; I’ll let you be the judge of that. So without furthur ado: rewrite of the ep., plus a few added scenes because there is no such thing as too much sneezy!Blaine.

Disclaimer: As if it weren’t already obvious, I am not Ryan Murphy. I did not create GLEE, I do not own GLEE, and I am certainly not making money off of this.

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“Heh-YISHH! ISH!” Blaine sneezed into his elbow as he gathered his books in his locker, pinching the bridge of his nose and coughing into his sleeve. He knew he had a cold; it wasn’t too bad yet, but left untreated, it would probably flare up into a full-blown case of the flu.

“Here, I put together a little cold-buster kit for you.” Blaine turned to see Tina standing at his side with a small, plastic case in her hands.

Dazed, Blaine shook his head a little.

“Cool, uh...how did you know?”

“Your nose was red yesterday,” she answered, as if feeling sorry for him. Blaine quickly checked his nose in the mirror. Damn. If Kurt were here...Blaine sighed.

“Start off with cough drops, then two packs of Vitamin C, a cup of my homemade Chinese chicken soup, and finish with my secret weapon...nighttime cold medicine.”

“Aw, thank you.” Blaine cringed at the slight congestion laced in his voice. He looked down at the kit. “I really appreciate this...” his eyes fluttered shut as he snapped to the side. “Heh-gnxt-uh!” He sniffled. “Ugh, excuse me. It’s going to have me feeling better in no time. Except for maybe the nighttime cold medicine.”

“Why? It’s amazing,” emphasized Tina.

“It just makes me really sleepy and woozy, which is something I can’t afford to be right now, not with Diva Week in full swing.” He closed his locker, groaning at the pressure in his sinuses as he reached up to rub his now-tickling nose. He started down the hall.

“I want to be able to prove that men can be divas, too, which is why I’m gonna give them a full dose of some Freddie Mercury, just to show how the boys can really bring

some diva attitude.”

Tina felt her heart flutter as Blaine spoke. She hoped he didn’t notice.

“Mr. Anderson, you find new ways to inspire me every day,” she stated.

“Aw. *sniffle* Thanks, Tina.” He suddenly stopped dead in his tracks.

“Are you okay?” asked Tina, turning around.

“Y-Yeah, j-just...heishh! ISHH! ITCH-uh!” Blaine sneezed into his elbow. “Ugh, sorry...h-hold on...heh-gnsht! Ishht! *sniff* Oh my God.”

“Are you alright?” asked Tina, laughing a bit. Blaine chuckled. He pulled out a pack of tissues from his messenger bag, pulling out a tissue, and blew his nose. Tina noticed that it was alarmingly close to being empty.

“Yeah. I just get really...really sneezy when I’m sick...hehtsh!” Blaine sneezed into the tissue.

“I’ll be sure to use your cold-buster kit,” Blaine laughed, which soon turned into a coughing fit. Tina frowned.

“I’ll see you later, Tee.” Tina waved and looked on worriedly as he trudged down the hall to his next class.

“Feel better soon,” she said quietly, sighing as she headed to English class.

***

A few days later, Tina scanned the hallway for Blaine, her books clutched to her chest.

In honor of Diva Week, let’s just cut the crap and keep it real, she thought to herself. Tina Cohen-Chang deserves better. I got upstaged yet again by Santana. Tina angrily recalled Santana’s performance of “Nutbush City Limits” in front of the glee club. She doesn’t even go to school here!

Ah, there he was. Blaine Devon Anderson...sneezing into a tissue. Look at him, she thought sweetly. He’s like a precious Tiger Beat Shrinky Dink. With his dark pound-puppy eyes and his...what am I doing? Tina shook her head quickly. Mike would totally laugh. I should call Mike... Tina looked in Blaine’s direction, and she caught his eye. No, I shouldn’t, she decided abruptly. Divas don’t call ex-boyfriends, Tina. Stop being afraid of going after what you want!

She marched up to Blaine, who was looking even sicker than he did the previous week.

“Hey, Bling-Bling,” she said affectionately. “Feeling better?”

“Hey, Tida,” Blaine answered in a deep, stuffy, congested voice. “Ndo, I ab ndot. It’s worse. My whole head feels like it’s a shridk wrapped fist of hamb.” He sniffled.

“Here...I got you this.” Gosh, he looks so miserable. “It’s VapoRub. My nana swears by it.”

“Aww...” Blaine smiled groggily. “Thadks, Tida. You’re so sweed.”

Sweet?! Tina sighed angrily and leaned against the locker adjacent to Blaine’s.

“Whad, whaddid I say?” Blaine sniffled. Then he turned away, that hazy, unfocused look returning to his eyes. “Hold od a sec...heishhuh! Hishh! Huhh...huhtchoo...Heh-gxntuh...” Blaine shivered and coughed into his sleeve. “S-sorry...go od.”

“Bless you,” said Tina quietly. She sighed again. “I don’t want to be sweet. I wanna be the girl that kicks in the door and makes demands and gets what she wants.” Tina sighed. “But let’s be honest: no one thinks ‘diva’ and pictures me.”

“Whad are you talkig aboud? Hehtsch-ah...sorry. *sniffle* There are tods of bad-ass Asiad divas. Look at Lucy Liu, Bai Lidg, B.D. Wodg *sniffle*.” He slammed his locker shut, coughing again. “Ogkay, you’re cobig to by house after school todight, ad we’re godda fid you the right sog. We’re godda...heh...” He held up a finger as he quickly spun around. “Heh-ISHU! Ugh, God...” He pulled out a tissue and blew his nose.

“Bless you.”

“We’re godda brig oud your idder diva if it kills be.”

“Aww, Blainey Days...” Tina felt her cheeks turn pink.

“Dod’t bedtion id.” Blaine coughed and cleared his throat. “I’ll see you todight at six.” His eyes squeezed shut. “Heh-gnxt-uhh!”

“Bless you.”

“Thadks.”

“See you tonight then,” said Tina cheerfully, and she skipped down the halls, her heart soaring.

***

That evening, Tina found herself sitting on the edge of Blaine’s bed. Her heart twisted as she looked at the numerous pictures of Kurt and Blaine on the bedside table. They looked so...happy. Like they were supposed to be together.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a cough coming from the bedroom doorway. Tina turned her head and saw Blaine walking in with a tray of food.

“Have you ever been with a girl?” she asked. Kind of a personal question, but it’s Diva Week.

Blaine shook his head. “Ndope. Perfect gold-star gay. Egcept for that ode tibe I kissed Rachel Berry.” Tina laughed.

“That doesn’t count.”

“Well, it’s ndot that I dodn’t like girls. I love theb. They’re kind, ad sedsitive, ad their bodies are beautiful...” He stopped.

“Thank you. You know, on behalf of girls everywhere.” Tina suddenly recognized the sneezy expression on his face. She grabbed tissue from the tissue box lying on the bedside table and handed it to him.

“HehTSH-ahh...Heh-TSCH! Ishh...ISHH’uh.” He blew his nose.

“Bless you times four.” Tina giggled.

“Ugh...*sniffle* thadks.” He tossed the tissue in the garbage. “Bud...lovidg them...that way...it’s just ndot who I ab.”

“We’re young,” said Tina, nodding. “We still have time to find ourselves.” Blaine snapped his fingers, pointing at Tina and winking.

“Egxagtly. Which is why, Biss Tida Cohen-Chadg, you are about to fid your idder diva.” He crawled across the bed to sit beside her.

“I took the liberty of bakidg you a little playlist of sobe of the classigc diva sodgs for you to go through. But you should oped the laptop, I dod’t wadt to give you by gerbs.”

That’s okay. I like your germs, thought Tina, smiling to herself as she opened Blaine’s computer.

Tina scrolled through the playlist, nodding thoughtfully.

“Wow...I can’t believe you went old-school diva,” she said, smiling. She read off of the list. “Cher, Aretha, Madonna...do you really think I can pull this off? I don’t even know what I would wear.”

“Are you kiddig be?” He pulled his shirt over his nose and turned away from Tina. “Heh-gtshu! Hehtishh! Exgcuse be.” He rubbed his nose. “You would kill id. I was thinking that we could use...one of those...th-...dresses from Sectionals...HehISHH! Ihtchuh! Gnsht!”

“Oh my God, you really are sneezy!” laughed Tina.

“Told ya.” Blaine laughed, then yawned loudly. “I’m sorry, that...that cold bedicide is really...very strodg. Eved though it’s dot helpig by sdeezig.”

“Why don’t you lie down?” suggested Tina gently.

“Ogkay. It’s a good idea,” Blaine whispered as he stretched out across his bed. He grabbed the pillow and buried his face into it.

“Rishhuh! Ugh, sorry.” He rubbed his face before turning around, dropping his head to the side.

Tina sighed. Now. Tell him now. Say something. Tell him you have feelings for him. Don’t chicken out. Do it NOW.

“You know, I’ve been reading a lot about divas.”

“Mm-hmm,” Blaine answered drowsily.

“And...the biggest thing is that they’re...brutally honest. And if I’m...going to be a diva, then...I have to be honest, too.”

“Totally,” Blaine mumbled. He was dozing off now.

Tina felt a pinch in her chest. She could feel tears collecting in her eyes. Seriously? You’re going to cry? Over a boy? She fought against them and inhaled shakily.

“Blaine...” Tina took another deep breath. “I’m falling in love with you. And...I realize that this...” She blinked a few times to rid her eyes of the tears, but they kept coming. You can do this. Keep going. “...this could be a tragic, one-way thing...But even if we end up...having just...a sexless relationship, which many Asian girls and gay men do...” She laughed shortly. “...it’d be worth it.” Her voice cracked; there would be no avoiding the tears now. Tina bit her lower lip and noticed that Blaine had been awfully quiet.

“Please say something here before I die.” Another short laugh as she wiped her sweaty palms on her dress.

“Blaine?” She turned her head and saw him, head on the pillow, eyes closed, snoring softly. Fast asleep. He hadn’t heard a damn word of what she’d said.

There were too many tears now, blurring her vision. She felt one spill over, running down her cheek.

Turning around completely, she started gently unbuttoning his shirt, her mind cloudy, her heart beating fast. What are you doing?! Get off of him! He’s not your boyfriend! What do you think you’re doing?! Tina’s mind was screaming, but she kept moving, ever so gently, unbuttoning his shirt and revealing his chest. Straddling over him, Tina softly brushed away another stray tear that had rolled down her cheek. She reached over and grabbed the container of VapoRub that was sitting on the nightstand. Slowly, she uncapped it, and with smooth, even gestures, she spread it across his chest, patting at her face, now wet with tears. When she was done, she carefully placed the container back on the bedside table and curled up in a ball beside Blaine, sniffling, resting her head on his chest.

Just another boy, she thought. Just another stupid boy.

-----

I’m really sorry if this had such a depressing ending. I didn’t really know how to end it... take one look at my essays and you’ll see that I’m the worst when it comes to endings.

Still hope you enjoyed it though.

[HPG]

Wow! That was such an interesting take on the scene. Blaine is my favorite - and that story was so cute!

[JRE111]

SO GOOD!!

[SpookyScarySkeleton]

Woah! Amazing !

[Unsweetened]

I loved this!! Great job, it was amazing to read.

Your take on the infamous scene made it almost heartwrenching and I thought it ended perfectly. Thank you for sharing and pleeeeaase write more!

[HoneyBunny]

Oh wow, that was amazing!! Sneezy!Blaine is super adorable, but the ending... aww, I just want to cry. Poor Tina.

[Watercolor Daydreams]

Awww you guys are so friggin' sweet <3

I'll be writing another Klaine story shortly... as soon as I can escape the evil clutches of homework...

In the meantime though there's this RP that I've started for GLEE, based on the 2nd season, so if you guys wanna join in, please feel free to do so. there's already some great great GREAT Blaine and Faberry stuff up. http://www.sneezefetishforum.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=53047

[Going_Nuts]

So I am waaay late finding this, but I haven't even finished reading it yet and I am IN LOVE. This is all I have ever wanted since watching (and re-watching. And re-watching again. And again.) this episode. Yes yes yes. Just. Thank you. Yes.