Crankypants (F/F Glee Faberry, starring Rachel this time!) COMPLETED 12/31/13

[ilovesneezing]

This is adorable. I love Rachel's dads

[White Rose]

So cute!!! Can't wait for more!

[Saltide]

The newest chapter is great, keep up the good work!

[wannablessedbe]

you guys rock! here is your update!

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Crankypants

Part 5

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Quinn went to sleep in Rachel's bed that night as usual; but she ended up regretting it around 4am, when she woke for the umpteenth time from her girlfriend's restless kicking and tossing in the bed. Finally, she gave up on the idea that she could get a decent night's sleep next to a feverish Rachel, and slipped woozily across the hall to her own little-used bed. But she had trouble sleeping there, too, as she'd grown so unaccustomed to sleeping alone; and even though she knew Rachel was asleep and didn't know the difference, she felt guilty for leaving her.

Since the debacle of her parents finding out about her pregnancy, and then Finn finding out the baby wasn't even his, Rachel was the one who had been there for her. Unconditionally. Unquestioningly. Even when Quinn hadn't done the slightest thing to deserve it. Now that Rachel was the one who needed her for once, the blonde girl felt an urgent, unrelenting pull from deep in the center of her chest to stay by her girlfriend's side for as long as she wasn't feeling well. It physically hurt to leave her, even just to go across the hall.

Finally, Quinn drifted off sometime around sunrise; and when her alarm went off two hours later, she knew she had caught Rachel's germs after all. Her head ached, her sinuses felt heavy and blocked up, and her ears, nose and throat were all swimming with watery congestion, making her feel like her head was stuck underwater. But, Fabrays did not complain; that was her father's golden rule, so deeply ingrained that she didn't even stop to question it now as she dragged herself out of bed and slowly began to dress, too exhausted to even get in the shower first. But she wasn't too exhausted to check on Rachel. Before she headed down the stairs, the blonde girl quietly slipped into her girlfriend's bedroom and sat lightly on the edge of the bed, feeling the sleeping girl's forehead and smoothing her dark hair back from her face. She still felt very warm; but at least she seemed to be sleeping comfortably.

“Hhuh...hht'chxx!! *Snfl,*” Quinn shivered with the effort of holding in the sudden, ticklish sneeze that welled up and doubled her over on the bed, nose pinched tightly between her fingers. She could feel the warm, slippery dribble of snot coating her fingers, and she sniffled again to hold it back, reaching for a tissue from Rachel's bedside table. “'Chshht!! Iiih'hshhxt!!! *Snfl*...” Quinn stood up awkwardly, desperate to blow her nose, but worried that it might wake Rachel. She settled on pinching her runny nose up and down inside the tissue, which felt good and muted the itch a little, until she was back out in the hallway. “Ughh,” she sighed softly, finally allowing herself to blow her nose until the snotty tickle receded into the back of her head. Today's gonna suck, she thought miserably. Taking a day off from school never even entered her head as she trailed woozily down the stairs toward the Berrys' warm kitchen.

When she got downstairs, she found Jacob in the kitchen, stirring a large pot of something warm and bubbling over the stove. Probably soup for Rachel. Was this what normal parents did when their kids were sick?

“Good mbornig,” Quinn croaked softly, taken aback at how hoarse and congested her voice sounded. Jacob turned and looked at her with an expression of frank astonishment.

“Sweetie, you're pale as a sheet. What are you doing up so early? I know you don't think you're going to school like this.” The older man fussed as he abandoned his cooking to come feel her forehead, which was noticeably warm to the touch.

“Of course I'mb going to school,” Quinn grumbled, taking a tissue from the box on the island and hastily blowing her stuffy nose, which helped relieve some of the underwater feeling in her head. But it also sparked the wet tickle in the back of her nose; and she sucked in a sharp, involuntary breath as she pressed the soggy tissue back to her runny nostrils. “Hhet'chshh!! 'Chshht!! *Snghf.*” She bowed over with the force of her congested sneezes, shivering miserably; Jacob reached out and rubbed her back consolingly.

“Bless you, poor little thing,” he cooed, pulling the box of tissues closer so she could grab another one. That was when Michael walked in, dressed in his hospital scrubs, obviously getting ready to go to work.

“Looks like we've got two sick kids today,” he rumbled in his deep, soothing baritone, glancing from Quinn's pale face to the soggy kleenex in her hands. She burst into tears.

“I'mb sorry,” she moaned miserably behind her hands, stricken with an almost paralyzing feeling of guilt for causing Rachel's dads more work and worry, when they had already done so much for her. Everyone else in her life—including her own parents—had simply abandoned her when she became to much of a hassle, and the terror of being kicked out of another house welled up in her stomach like molten hot lava.

“Honey, honey, shh...it's all right,” Jacob murmured, wrapping her up in a tight hug. Quinn went completely limp against him, soaking his shoulder with her hot tears. Soon another pair of hands was on her back, too, as Michael crossed the room to join his husband's efforts to soothe her.

“You don't have anything to apologize for, Quinnie,” Michael reassured her, his voice calm and quiet, so unlike her own father's. “You caught Rachel's bug, you just need a few days of rest and fluids. I think you'll feel better once you get back in bed, hmm? Why are you even dressed? You must feel awful.” He reached out and felt her forehead, just as Jacob had; Quinn closed her eyes and sniffled back her tears, basking in the gentle, loving touches that were so foreign to her in her normal home life.

“I thought I had to go to school,” the woozy blonde girl sighed, wiping her nose on the crumpled tissues she still held. “Mby dad...*snfl*...ndever let us stay hombe...uht'chOOoo!!! *Snfl.*” She shivered weakly again as she sneezed into the soggy tissues, self-conscious and embarrassed to be sneezing such big, snotty sneezes in front of Rachel's dads. She'd never known hospitality like this, never really known what unconditional love from a parent was supposed to look like; and she remained convinced that any moment they were going to run out of patience and send her packing.

“Bless you sweetheart,” Jacob said gently, handing her a fresh tissue as she continued to sniffle behind her hands.

“Thags,” she croaked weakly, keeping one hand cupped over her runny nose as she took it and hastily wiped the slick underside of her nostrils. “I...*snfl*...I w-wod't be a bother, I'll j-just go back to bed...you cand take care of...*snfl*...of R-rachel...hhet'CHSH!!! Ughh...*snghf.*” Quinn sneezed dizzily into the clean tissue, then coughed uncontrollably, leaning unwillingly into Michael's strong arm as the room spun slightly around her.

“Honey, sit down,” Michael commanded gently, steering her somewhat forcefully into a chair at the kitchen table. The two men sat on either side of her, and Jacob gently tilted her chin up so she'd be forced to look at him as he spoke. He had deep, kind brown eyes, just like Rachel's.

“Quinn, we need you to understand something,” Jacob said quietly. Quinn's stomach knotted into a familiar ball of nerves as she steeled herself for what she knew was coming. What had come so many times before. She was going to be on her own again; she just knew it in every molecule in her body.

“You're a part of this family now,” Jacob continued. Quinn's eyes widened in shocked disbelief. “You don't need to apologize for being sick, and you don't need to hide away and 'not be a bother.' We won't let you treat yourself like you don't matter; not in this house. I know you've been through the mill with your parents, but that's not how it's going to be anymore. Okay?” Tears were streaming down Quinn's pale face, and she didn't bother to wipe them away this time.

“Thadk you,” she whispered, leaning limply into his arms as he reached out to hug her.

“You don't have to thank us, honey. We're so happy to have you here, to have you in Rachel's life. And that's never going to change.” Quinn nodded wordlessly, too overcome to talk anymore. “...Now,” Jacob finally said when Quinn stopped crying and rubbed woozily at her eyes. “Shall we get you back upstairs and into bed, hmm? I think you need to get some more sleep.”

“Actually, cand I have sombe scrambled eggs first? I thidk the baby's hundgry...*snfl*...hheh'chshht!!” She pinched her nose in the wadded remains of her tissue as she sneezed, but she still felt the mist of snot settling in the palms of her hands and rimming her wet nostrils. “Hhh...hhashhxhew!!! *Snfl.*”

“Bless you, sweetheart,” Michael rumbled gently, kissing the top of her head as he got up from the table. “I'm going to get you some Tylenol, and a spoonful of honey for those sniffles. It might not be quite as good as real cold medicine, but it will make you feel better. Promise.”

“And I'll make some breakfast,” Jacob nodded, giving her shoulder one final squeeze as he got up and went back to the stove, pulling out a frying pan and ingredients from the fridge. “I could use some eggs, too. Why don't you go curl up on the couch and wait for me there, hmm sweetie? You look like you're gonna pass out if you try to stay at the table much longer.”

“'Kay,” Quinn agreed woozily, wrapping her arms around her shivering body as she stood up shakily. “That...*snfl*...that souhds good...” She snatched another tissue from the box on the counter, pinching it to her pink nostrils just as they opened wide in anticipation. “Hhut'chxsh!! 'Chshht!! *Snfl*...uhh'CHSH!!!” The thin tissue was no match for her congested sneezes, and even after a final sniffle and a wipe, her nose glistened with snot. She reached woozily for another tissue; but this time she didn't bother trying to keep her face covered with one hand. No one here was judging her for having a runny nose, she finally realized.

“Bless you, Quinnie,” Jacob grinned affectionately as she wiped her nose. Quinn smiled shyly back.

Edited December 5, 2013 by wannablessedbe

[BootyBurgers]

The feels! Ahhh this is epically adorable and amazing! I really hope you keep this going! I love season one faberry

[wannablessedbe]

The feels! Ahhh this is epically adorable and amazing! I really hope you keep this going! I love season one faberry

thx darling! and no worries, I definitely will continue. I am enjoying the return to S1 just as much! (ESPECIALLY after watching last week's ep of S5, which I would personally like to go ahead and call it as the WORST EP OF GLEE THERE EVER WAS). it's almost too depressing to even keep watching...sigh. this is when fanfic is most important!

[tFM!]

So damn cute Thanks for continuing!

[ilovesneezing]

SO SO cute.

[White Rose]

SO CUTEEE! Can't wait for the next part! Omg <3

Rachel and Quinn cuddles please!

[BootyBurgers]

The feels! Ahhh this is epically adorable and amazing! I really hope you keep this going! I love season one faberry

thx darling! and no worries, I definitely will continue. I am enjoying the return to S1 just as much! (ESPECIALLY after watching last week's ep of S5, which I would personally like to go ahead and call it as the WORST EP OF GLEE THERE EVER WAS). it's almost too depressing to even keep watching...sigh. this is when fanfic is most important!

I stopped watching after season 3! I just couldn't take it anymore. It got ridiculous! Fanfic is very very very important!

[sugarrush]

awww Quinn she deffo needs some Rachel cuddles!

[wannablessedbe]

awww Quinn she deffo needs some Rachel cuddles!

...and she's gonna get them! don't you worry

[Bgrace27]

this is just amazing

[wannablessedbe]

Update time!!! Enjoy!

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Crankypants

Part 6

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Rachel woke up alone in her bed, feeling very sorry for herself. Her whole body ached, as if she'd been beaten all over with a baseball bat; and she still felt very woozy and feverish, her skin blazing and sweaty even though inside she was ice cold and shivering. Her throat was raw and sore when she swallowed, her head was swimming with congestion, and as she sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes, her nose began to run. All in all, the little starlet was feeling thoroughly miserable as she dragged herself dizzily out of bed, wishing her girlfriend was there to snuggle her and rub her tummy and tell her it was all gonna be okay.

At least she knew her dad would be waiting to spoil her, she thought with a small smile as she stumbled out of bed and clumsily stuck her feet into her fuzzy slippers. He'd make her something warm and comforting to eat, and some homemade super-cold-zapper tea, and tuck her in on the couch with a nice big stack of dvds to while the afternoon away. She tried to stay focused on these goals as she slowly made her way out of her room and down the stairs, fighting the temptation to just lie down on the hall carpet and cry until her dad heard her.

But when she finally did make it down the stairs, her attention was drawn, not toward the kitchen where her dad was hopefully making some of his famous sick-day soup; but instead toward the den, where she could hear the sounds of the TV playing. Sniffling drowsily, Rachel shuffled toward the sound, wiping her runny nose absently on the back of her sleeve. Her heart gave a little lurch when she made her way into the den, and found her girlfriend curled up under a blanket on the couch, fast asleep, and looking every bit as sick as Rachel felt. She had forgotten all about the blonde girl's sniffles the night before; but now as she looked down at her girlfriend's fever-flushed face, she felt a rush of guilt and protectiveness welling up fiercely in the pit of her stomach. Quinn had one arm wrapped possessively around Rachel's old stuffed monkey, Stella, her breath wheezing softly with congestion as the blankets rose and fell.

“Aww, baby,” Rachel sighed, suddenly unconcerned with her own misery as she sat down next to her girlfriend's sleeping body, and reached a hand out to run through a sweat-dampened lock of blonde hair. Quinn made a soft, mumbled whimpering sound, her body shifting unconsciously toward Rachel's even in sleep. "Poor Quinndie-boo...I'mb sorry I got you s-sick," Rachel sniffled softly, pinching her runny nose tightly between her fingers as it twitched and flared in teasing irritation. She didn't want to wake Quinn up, but... "Aah-ahhTCHSH!! *Snfl*..." She just couldn't help it.

"Bless you, little star," The blonde girl yawned as her sleepy hazel eyes cracked open, and she smiled woozily up at her sniffling girlfriend.

“Ughh...*snfl*...thags," Rachel sighed, one hand reaching out to stroke Quinn's hair while the other wiped awkwardly at her nose. "How do you feel, sweetie pie?"

“I'mb sigck,” Quinn mumbled woozily, rolling over and wrapping one arm around Rachel's leg, snuggling up tight against her with a raspy, congested cough.

“I doe...I'mb sorry,” Rachel sighed, wiping her nose on her wrist again with a deep, liquid sniffle. Belatedly, she noticed the box of kleenex sitting right on the table in front of them, and grabbed one.

“It's ndot your fault, Rach,” Quinn yawned, drowsily cuddling Rachel's leg the way she'd been hugging her stuffed animal a moment ago. “I'mb sorry...I was...*snghf*...s'pozed t'be...takihg care of you.” Quinn cupped a hand to her face to cover another rattling cough, and Rachel rubbed her back gently until it passed, leaning over her and kissing her hot forehead.

“Poor baby girl, I dod't wadt you to worry about that,” the dark haired girl yawned, picking up the half-empty glass of orange juice that was sitting on the coffee table, and passing it to Quinn, who was still wheezing slightly with congestion. “We'll just...*snfl*...just take care of each other ndow. 'Kay?” She waited patiently while Quinn sipped her orange juice, then helped her put it back on the coffee table.

“Yeah. That's...*snfl*...that souhds good,” Quinn agreed with a weak smile, tugging lightly on Rachel's sleeve to pull her down. “Cuddle mbe?”

“Yes, please,” Rachel yawned, slipping under the covers and curling up in her girlfriend's warm arms, their legs automatically twining together as she rested her head contentedly on Quinn's collarbone. “I feel better already,” the little starlet sighed happily, her cheek resting snugly against the blonde girl's steady heartbeat.

“Mbe too,” Quinn yawned, snaking one hand under Rachel's pajama top and resting it against the small of her back, her thumb rubbing lazily back and forth. “I thidk I...*snfl*...I feel better w-whed you're touchidg mbe. Hhet'chshht!!” Quinn sneezed dazedly into the air over Rachel's head, too woozy to pull her hand out from under the blankets in time to cover her face.

“Bless you,” Rachel giggled weakly. She felt some of the mist settling against her back; but she didn't care.

“*Snfl*...ugh, sorry,” the blonde girl sighed miserably, pulling her hand back out from the warmth of the blankets to wipe her nose.

“Dod't be sorry,” Rachel shook her head woozily, leaning up on her elbow to pull a few tissues from the box on the coffee table, and passing some of them to her sniffling girlfriend. “It's fide if you...*snfl*...if you have to sndeeze od mbe, baby. You cad't help it. We both have the sambe germbs, adyway. Ahd I'd rather...*snghf*...rather be close to you, doe matter what.” They shared a sleepy smile, both of them busily wiping their runny noses.

“Yeah?” Quinn asked shyly, putting her crumpled tissue aside and reaching out to run her fingers through her girlfriend's dark hair.

“Oh, yeah. Definditely,” Rachel nodded drowsily, a self-satisfied grin spreading across her face as she settled back down against her girlfriend's chest. Then she felt her lungs suck in a deep, involuntary breath; and she ducked her head against Quinn's collarbone, the wadded tissue pinched firmly to her pink nose as it quivered with congested irritation. “HhehESHiiew!!! *Snfl.*” Rachel felt Quinn's gentle hand running through her hair as she sneezed into the soggy tissues. If it was anyone else she'd just sneezed on, she would've been horribly embarrassed; her runny nose was leaking right onto Quinn's pajama top. But she wasn't embarrassed. Because it was Quinn. Because being far enough apart right now that they wouldn't sneeze on each other would feel ten times worse, and they both knew it.

“Bless you, Rachie-boo,” Quinn yawned softly, absently running her fingers through her girlfriend's dark hair. Rachel sniffled and wiped her nose absently on the soggy tissue.

“Thag you,” she sighed, with a sheepish smile. “Have you...hhuh...h-had adythidg to...*snfl*...to eat today? Aah'tchshh!! T'tshhiuh!! *Snfl.*” Rachel shuddered weakly with the force of two more congested, sickly sneezes, burying her face back against Quinn's chest to avoid sneezing right in her face.

“Bless you, bless you,” Quinn giggled weakly, reaching across to the coffee table and passing her sniffling baby a few fresh tissues. Rachel grumbled indistinctly as she blew her nose. “And I did have breakfast...your dad mbade me scrambled eggs ahd tea. But ndow I'mb...*snghf*...I'mb kind of gettihg hudgry agaid.”

“Good, mbe too,” Rachel nodded with a drowsy yawn. “Wait 'till you taste mby dad's special soup. It's ambazig. *Snfl!*”

"Uhh, yeah, that souhds awe...*snfl*...awesombe," Quinn agreed with a stuffy sniffle, eyes fluttering closed again as she ran her fingers contentedly through Rachel's long, shiny hair. "As lodg as I dod't have to mbove to get it."

"Doe, you stay right there," Rachel sighed, reluctantly pulling herself out of Quinn's warm arms and sitting back on her heels, steadying herself against the couch cushions as a dizzying moment of vertigo washed over her.

"Rachellllll, dod't go," the blonde girl whined crankily, wrapping her hand around her girlfriend's wrist to keep her from getting off the couch. "I feel worse whed you're dnot touchidg mbe. *Snfl.*"

"I dod't wadt to get up either," Rachel sighed, submitting quite willingly to the gentle tug on her wrist, and dropping back down on the couch. "But I really wadt sobe soup..." Quinn started to cough again, and Rachel rolled sleepily onto her side so she could rub her girlfriend's shivering back. "Aww, baby. You souhd terrible. We...*snghf*...we gotta get you sobe tea or sobethidg."

"Your dad gave mbe a...*snfl*...a spoondful of hodey this mbordig. Sidce I cad't...hhuh...t-take ady cold mbedicide, with the baby. I th-thidk it...*snfl*...it h-helped...aht'chhxiew!!" Quinn shivered and curled up weakly on her side with the force of her stuffy sneeze, wadded tissue cupped to her pink nose. Rachel wrapped her arm protectively over her girlfriend's warm back, and kissed her right between the eyes as she sniffled.

"Bless you, babycakes," the little starlet murmured sweetly. Quinn coughed again and wiped her nose.

"I thought I heard the sound of my sick girls waking up...or else a couple of asthmatic elephants detouring through our house on their way to the circus," Jacob chuckled, poking his head into the living room with a tray of tea, soup, and goodies in his arms.

"You're hilarious," Rachel grumbled, but she couldn't keep the smile off her face when her dad came in and set his tray of goodies down in front of them, steam wafting enticingly from two sets of tea and homemade noodle soup.

"I know, it's all part of my charm," Jacob bantered lightly, giving his daughter a little wink as he sat on the edge of the couch and felt her hot forehead. "Oy vey, you're burning up baby girl. How are you both feeling, hmm?" He looked from Rachel to Quinn, placing the cool back of his hand against the blonde girl's cheek. She sighed and closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of having two doting Berrys watching over her.

"Crappy," Rachel croaked out hoarsely. "I feel dizzy every timbe I get up. Ahd Quind has a really bad cough. *Snghf.*"

"It's ndot...*snfl*...ndot that bad," Quinn mumbled, shaking her head woozily. "It's just...hard to stop odce I start...*snfl*..." Her wheezy breath caught sharply in her chest as her pink nose twitched, and she pressed the soggy tissue in her hand back to her snot-slicked nostrils as they quivered wide open. "Aaah...*snfl*..." Rachel's gentle hand rubbed soothing circles over her back. "Aahiiishxew!!! *Snfl*...Iiishhxt!! ...*coughcough*..." Quinn's whole body shivered with fever chills as she sneezed and coughed breathlessly, Rachel and her dad both cooing over her like a newborn baby kitten.

“Okay, sweetheart, you're all right,” Jacob hummed soothingly, helping her sit up once her coughing fit passed. “That cough sounds pretty nasty, I have to admit. Let's get some of this tea into you, all right? And you both need to eat a little. C'mon, you too princess. Sit up and eat.” He sat them both up on the couch and physically pushed the warm mugs of tea into their hands, watching like a hawk to make sure they both drank. “Good?” He asked hopefully when Quinn took a sip.

“Oh, God, yes,” the blonde girl sighed, her shoulders slumping a little with the intense feeling of relief the hot tea provided. “That's evend better thad the ode you gave us l-last...*snfl*...last ndight...*snfl*...uhh'tchxsh!!” Quinn's shoulders snapped weakly as she bent over and sneezed into her tea, one hand on her mug and the other hovering in midair with the spoon clenched absently in her fist. A dribble of watery snot slid down the channel of her upper lip, and she sniffled softly, wiping under her nose with the back of her wrist.

“Bless you,” Rachel and her dad both said at once.

“Thags,” Quinn mumbled, woozy but no longer embarrassed as she sniffled and took another sip of her tea.

[BootyBurgers]

Love this. Sick season one faberry is my favorite thing EVER. I'd love for you to continue this! Pretty please?

[Bgrace27]

aww this is so good.

[sugarrush]

Oh my god they're both so adorable! I also learnt a new phrase "Oy vey" hehe thanks for continuing

[wannablessedbe]

glad you guys are digging this! don't worry, I am not done with S1 quinn and rachel yet. it's been so long since I wrote them in S1--probably when S1 was actually on the air--it's so much fun going back! and it makes me realize how much less shy I am with my writing style (of sneezefics, I mean--I've never been shy in any other way. lol), versus 4 years ago. I only ever wrote one other sneezefic for S1 faberry, and it's WAY more...demure, I guess? ...about the actual sneeze descriptions. (here's that other one if you're curious). so, yes, in summation, this story is not over!

and sugarrush, glad I could help increase your vocab, haha. "oy vey" is what Jewish people say instead of "oh my goodness!" ;p

Edited December 12, 2013 by wannablessedbe

[BootyBurgers]

I actually re-read that a few days before you posted it here! Weird!

[White Rose]

Oy Vey, I love this new addition! xD

It's simply too cute for words! Please, do continue!

Edited December 18, 2013 by White Rose

[wannablessedbe]

hey dearies,

here's a little xmas present for you! sorry it's been a while since I updated; just been super-busy this month. but, once again I tried to make up for the wait with adding some extra adorable to this JUST for you. (there's vapo-rub. yeah). so, enjoy, and happy holidays y'all!!! xoxo

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Crankypants

Part 7

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After their lunchtime soup and tea, Rachel had another dose of extra-strength cold and flu medicine; and Quinn swallowed two more Tylenol with a spoonful of honey, the strongest thing she could take without putting the baby in danger. It seemed to help for a little while; but halfway through Muppets Take Manhattan, she was coughing more and more. Every time she sneezed, it was followed by a rattling, congested cough, and then another, and another.

“I thidk we...*snghf*...we ndeed to do sobethidg to help you breathe a little easier,” Rachel sighed, her voice very gentle and sympathetic even through the feverish congestion plaguing her own body. She rubbed the blonde girl's shaking back, hastily snatching a fresh tissue with her free hand as her runny nose distracted her from all other concerns with a twitchy quiver. “Hhuh'eshhxt!! ...*snfl*...uuh'tchhiuh!!! ...*Snfl.*” Eyes fluttering, the dark-haired girl absently took her hand off her girlfriend's back between sneezes, cupping the damp tissue firmly to her leaking nose to catch another sneeze right on the heels of the first. She sniffled, sighed, and blew her nose weakly.

“Bless you, baby,” Quinn croaked out hoarsely when she was finally able to stop coughing.

“We are...*snfl*...so pitiful right ndow,” Rachel groaned, leaning back against the cushions and wiping her nose on the crumpled tissue with a woozy, sheepish smile.

“Uh-huh,” Quinn agreed drowsily, reaching for her glass of orange juice and taking a few small sips. “I just...hhuh...just wadt to go back to sleep for a...*snfl*...a l-l-little while...*snfl*...aah'iiisht!! 'Iiishht!!! *Cough*cough*cough*...” Rachel nuzzled up a little closer against Quinn's shoulder, rubbing her back again while she coughed wheezily.

“Poor baby, you wod't be able to sleep like this,” Rachel sighed, dropping gentle kisses on her girlfriend's warm temple while the blonde girl took another gulp of orange juice. When the dark-haired girl was satisfied that her poor little blondie was breathing all right—for the moment—she sat back against the couch cushions and called weakly, “Daaaaaaaaaad!”

“Rach, dod't bother your dad. He cad't do adythidg,” Quinn sighed anxiously, hating to interrupt Jacob's work day yet again, despite how many times he'd reassured her it was fine, and that he wanted to know if they needed anything.

“That's...*snfl*...ndot true,” Rachel shook her head adamantly, rubbing at her eyes in determination to stay awake and lucid for Quinn's sake. “Just because you cad't take the real cough syrup, doesed't mbead there ised't...other stuff we cad do to mbake you feel better.” Yawning, she put her head down on the blonde girl's shoulder, gently rubbing the small swell of her baby bump. “Adyway, id's ndot good for the baby if you...*snfl*...if you cad't breathe.”

“I...hhhih...I doe,” Quinn nodded with a soft hitch, groping woozily for a tissue as her pink nose trembled in fresh irritation. A glistening trickle of clear snot slid teasingly down the divot in her upper lip. Rachel got there first, tugging a fresh tissue from the box and pressing it to her girlfriend's runny nose just as the pink-tinged nostrils opened wide. “Hheh...” Quinn's breath hitched helplessly as her eyes fell shut, pressing her hand gratefully over the soft, lotion-infused cotton rubbing up against her leaky pink nose. “HaahESHOOoo!!!” She gave a wet, sick sneeze into the clean tissue, doubling over on the couch with Rachel's hand firmly on her back. Then, without even pausing to draw a fresh breath, she began coughing again.

“Well hello,” Jacob said when he strolled into the room, carrying the large, plastic humidifier that usually stayed in the upstairs hall closet. It was sloshing with fresh water to the brim.

“You...*snghf*...you read mby mbind,” Rachel sighed sleepily, smiling when she saw that her dad was, as usual, a step or two ahead of her.

“I didn't need to read your mind this time, pumpkin,” Jacob shook his head, returning her smile as he plunked the humidifier down on the coffee table in front of them and began searching for the end of the plug. “I do have ears.”

“I'mb...*cough!*...I'mb sorry,” Quinn mumbled behind her tissues, leaning dizzily into Rachel's side as her breath slowly calmed again.

“I'm not,” Jacob said simply, leaning over them to turn the humidifier unit on and point the spout at the wheezy blonde girl, kissing the top of her head before standing up straight again. He had seen enough of Quinn's insecurity to know she wasn't going to be able to let go of it overnight; but he and Michael had both agreed that the best thing they could do to help her now was to simply be consistent. Show her that, unlike the home she'd grown up in, things in this house were predictable and reliable. They would not get tired of taking care of her. They would not throw her away, as her own family, and then the Hudson family, had done when she became an inconvenience.

“Thag you,” Quinn sighed softly, a shy smile tugging at the corner of her mouth as she looked up at him gratefully.

“Don't thank me yet, sweetie. I'm afraid the humidifier is just phase one,” Jacob clucked. “We really need to clear out your breathing, Quinnie, it's starting to sound a little worrisome. Since we can't give you cough syrup, I'm afraid we've got to hit you with every natural alternative at once. We'll keep the humidifier on for the rest of the day; and Rachel, sweetheart, I'm sure you can help her with the vapo-rub.” He handed his daughter a little blue jar that he pulled from his pants pocket. “While you girls are doing that, I'm going to go make some hot garlic-ginger tonic. It's a bit strong, but hopefully you won't be able to taste it much, anyway.”

“Uhh...okay,” Quinn nodded, too woozy and drained to argue in any case. “Thadks.” Jacob smiled and gave her a little wink.

“How about you, princess?” Jacob raised an eyebrow at Rachel. “Will you have a cup too? I know you don't love it, but it'll make you feel better.”

“'Kay,” Rachel agreed easily, snuggling up to Quinn with a soft yawn. She knew it would make Quinn feel less anxious about being a 'bother' if they both had some; and though she almost hated to admit it, she knew the potent drink really would make her feel a little better.

“Good. Back in a few minutes,” Jacob nodded, kissing them both on the forehead before striding out of the room with a little wink.

“Your dads are...just...so ndice,” Quinn yawned, wiping her nose on a crumpled tissue as she leaned back against the cushions and Rachel's shoulder, breathing in the warm steam from the humidifier.

“They cad't help it. They love us,” the little starlet smiled, unscrewing the top of the jar of vapo-rub and setting it down on the coffee table. “Okay, combe here. I have to...*snghf*...rub sombe of this od your chest.”

“I'mb sorry, what?” Quinn frowned, raising an eyebrow skeptically at her girlfriend as if she thought the dark-haired girl was completely nuts.

“It's vapo-rub, Quind. Dided't your paredts ever use it od you when you were...*snfl*...r-really stuffed up?” As she spoke, Rachel reached for a fresh tissue, sniffling and hitching softly as she cupped it to her face. “Hhhxchew!! *Snfl,*” the little starlet shivered as she sneezed, runny nose pressed firmly into the tissue.

“Bless you,” Quinn sighed, stroking a lock of dark hair back from her girlfriend's face as she blew her nose. “Ahd doe, I dod't doe what you're...*snfl*...talkidg about.” She looked back down at the vapo-rub dubiously.

“It's like...peppermindt vasolinde,” Rachel explained, holding the open jar up to Quinn's face. “You rub it od your chest, ahd thed you breathe id the vapor...it helps.”

“Really?” Quinn raised an eyebrow skeptically.

“Yeah. Totally,” Rachel nodded, smiling encouragingly. “Here, smbell.” She held the jar right up to Quinn's stuffed pink nose; and the blonde girl took a small sniff, witch turned into a sniffle. Immediately, she sat back and pinched the wadded tissue in her hand back to her glistening nostrils as they opened wide. Rachel hastily pulled the jar back.

“Aah—ahhIIISHooo!!!” Quinn sneezed desperately into the soggy kleenex, blowing snot into her palms from both nostrils despite the damp cotton barrier. But this time, with the humid air blowing right in her face, and the minty scent of the vapo-rub still tingling in her nostrils and the back of her throat, she only coughed a little after sneezing.

“Bless you,” Rachel giggled weakly, kissing her sniffling girlfriend on the cheek.

“Is...*snfl*...is that supposed to...to happend?” Quinn asked shyly, wiping her nose on a fresh tissue.

“Odce you get used to it, it feels good,” Rachel promised, smiling encouragingly. “I'll put it od for you, 'kay baby?”

“Okay,” Quinn yawned, figuring that Rachel and her dads seemed to know a heck of a lot more about how to make her feel better than her own parents ever had. “Go ahead.”

“'Kay,” Rachel nodded, smiling a little shyly herself as she unbuttoned the top two buttons of her girlfriend's pajama top. “There you go,” she hummed softly as she rubbed the cool, minty goo across the pale skin below her girlfriend's collarbone. “Doesed't...*snfl*...doesed't that feel good?”

“Uhhh...*snfl!*...uh-huh,” Quinn yawned, dropping back fully against the couch cushions so she was sort of sitting up, sort of slouched back against the cushions. The minty vapor rose up into the air and wafted into her congested nose and throat; and the coolness spread tinglingly through her chest, too. “It does. It's reahh...*snfl!*...relaxidg.” She nuzzled the crumpled tissue in her hand to the underside of her wet nose, sniffling and rubbing; too sleepy to blow.

“Try breathidg through your ndose a little,” Rachel encouraged, screwing the cap back on the jar. Quinn nodded sleepily, and closed her mouth, taking in a stuffy sniffle of air through her pink nose. A tiny wisp of the minty vapor traveled up her sinuses; immediately, her eyes fluttered, and she held the damp, crumpled tissue an inch under her snotty nostrils in anticipation.

“Ehh'chhsh!!! 'Chshh!! 'Chxshht!!! *Snfl*...Aah'CHSHXT!!” Quinn's sneezes were wet and desperate, barely allowing her to gasp a breath in between. But then, surprisingly, she only coughed once afterwards.

“Bless you, sweetie pie,” Rachel cooed, handing her girlfriend a fresh tissue with a soft kiss right between her eyes. “I'mb sorry I mbade you do that. I'll...*snfl*...just shut up so you cad relax.”

“Ndoe, it's okay,” Quinn sighed, taking the clean tissue and blowing her nose industriously. “I...I thindk it actually helped.”

“Oh...good,” the little starlet yawned, settling back against the cushions with her head leaning against Quinn's slightly taller shoulder, so they could both breathe in the minty vapor rising off the blonde girl's skin. They both closed their eyes sleepily. “Id that case,” Rachel mumbled against Quinn's arm, “I totally mbeadt to do it. *Snfl.*”

Edited December 23, 2013 by wannablessedbe

[sugarrush]

Awh they're so cute, and Jacob is lovely I love the smell of vapo-rub.. a while ago in my French class this girl was sick and in the middle of class she took out some vapo-rub and used it haha. I haven't needed it myself in years! I kind of.....miss it?

[BootyBurgers]

Perfection! This is absolutely awesome I love Jacob and the vapo-rub action! Awesome and adorable!

[wannablessedbe]

Hey kiddies,

So it's the last chap of my last story of 2013!!! Enjoy, and be safe out there tonight bois & grrlz. Lots of really bad/drunk drivers are gonna be out on the road—watch out for them, and don't be one of them! (Don't you wish you lived in NYC, where all you have to do is flop into a subway car?!) HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! See all y'all in 2014.

….................................................................................................................................................................

Crankypants

Part 8 (final)

….................................................................................................................................................................

“Honey, I'm ho-ome,” Michael Berry called as he strode into the kitchen from the carport beside the house. His husband Jacob was chopping vegetables over the kitchen island, wearing a Kiss the Chef apron and humming little nonsense tunes to himself. “How are the girls doing, hmm?”

“Hi babe,” Jacob smiled, putting down his knife and standing up on his tiptoes to give his husband a quick peck on the lips. “They're pretty out of it, poor little kittens. Even Rachel's had a fever of a hundred and one all day; and you know how rare a fever is for her. I couldn't even remember where we kept the thermometer.”

“Poor kids,” Michael sighed, shrugging off his heavy winter coat and hanging it over a kitchen chair. “What about Quinnie? How's her temp?”

“It's been hovering between 101.5 and 102.5 all day,” Jacob sighed, going back to his chopping so he'd have something to do with his antsy hands. “I'm a little anxious about it, but she keeps saying it's 'no big deal' and that she usually gets a fever when she's sick. I asked her if it was normally above a hundred and two; but she didn't even know. Poor thing's never had anyone bother taking her temperature.” Jacob shook his head, and Michael sighed and patted him on the back consolingly.

“Well she's under our roof now,” the taller man rumbled reassuringly, kissing his husband on the cheek. “And we've got three whole years before they go off to college...plenty of time to undo some of the crazy the Fabrays inflicted.”

“I hope so,” Jacob sighed, wiping his hands off on his apron.

“Come on, sweetcakes. Don't go getting depressed. It's not a Lifetime movie,” Michael teased gently, bumping the shorter man's hip. Jacob gave him a wry smile. “Shall we go check on our little kittens, hmm?”

“Yes, dear,” Jacob agreed fondly. He took off his apron and followed the taller man into the living room, where Quinn and Rachel were passed out cold on the couch, sort of sitting up, but slumped down so low that it couldn't really be called “sitting” in the strictest sense. A thick, squishy comforter was tucked around their legs, with Rachel's head resting limply against Quinn's shoulder, while Quinn's cheek pressed lightly against the top of Rachel's head. They were both wheezing softly, with fever-flushed cheeks and damp pink noses. The blonde girl had actually fallen asleep with a crumpled tissue clutched limply in her hand.

“Oh dear Lord, they are just sweet enough to melt butter,” Michael clucked, grinning at the undeniably adorable sight. Then he pulled his phone out of his pocket and snapped a picture.

“Michael! Rachel will kill you if she sees that!” Jacob hissed, snatching the phone from his husband's hands. “You're not exactly catching her from her good side right now.”

“Well I wasn't going to show her,” the taller man chuckled, taking his phone back and slipping it back into his pocket. “Some day when they're both wildly famous and cosmopolitan, I want proof for our grandchildren that their parents were once adorable and innocent.”

“Oh. Well. I suppose that's all right then,” Jacob smirked, looking up at his husband fondly.

“Doe talkidg id the library,” Rachel mumbled in her sleep, shifting restlessly against Quinn's side with a congested cough. The two Berry men immediately stopped horsing around with each other, and went to sit very lightly on the couch on either side of the two girls.

“Rachel, honey...are you awake?” Michael asked quietly, smoothing the hair back from her face to feel her hot forehead.

“Uhhh...*snfl*...I'mb late for glee, Daddy,” the little starlet mumbled hoarsely, still not opening her eyes; but she did raise a hand to her face, wiping her runny nose on her wrist with a deeply congested sniffle.

“You're not late for anything, baby girl,” Michael murmured reassuringly, drawing a tissue from the box on the coffee table and gently wiping the drippy underside of her pink nose.

“Whaa...?” Rachel sniffled softly as her eyes blinked open, glassy and fever-glazed, a faraway expression in her dark eyes. “Oh. Hi, Daddy. I'mb hombe. *Snghf.*”

“I know, pumpkin,” Michael chuckled, ruffling her dark hair gently. He hated to enjoy his daughter's suffering, but she was awfully cute like this—like when she was little and had just woken up from a nap. “How are you feeling, hmm?”

“I'mb...f-fide...*snfl*...” She made a soft, helplessly ticklish sound in the back of her throat, and Jacob hastily pushed a tissue into her hand. “Thags,” she sniffled, lightly pinching the soft tissue to the glistening underside of her nose, and giving it a little sideways wipe as she sniffled again. “Aah...*snfl*...” Her lower lip quivered, and her barely-open eyes fell shut again as she gave her pink nose a little squeeze through the tissue. “Uht'chOOoo!!! *Snfl.*”

“Bless you, pumpkin,” Michael cooed gently; and in a supreme act of love, he took the snot-slicked, crumpled up tissue from her hand and replaced it with a fresh one, tossing the used one into the little garbage pail at their feet.

“Ughhh. I forgot. I'mb sigck,” Rachel sighed pitifully, taking the fresh tissue in both hands and blowing wetly into it. She was so congested, the blow didn't seem to help much; and she just sniffled again, eyes sliding shut as her head fell back against the couch cushions in submission, the pink rims of her nostrils glistening with snot. “Hheh—hhehhh—hhuh'CHHSHT!!! *Snfl*...ughh, egscuse be,” the little starlet sighed miserably, jiggling her pink nose lightly through the tissue.

“Bless you, little starlight,” Quinn mumbled, opening her eyes with a yawn.

“Thadks, baby,” Rachel sighed, a weak smile spreading across her face at the sound of Quinn's voice.

“Hey, Quinnie-pie,” Jacob murmured, gently stroking the blonde girl's hair back to let her know he was close. “How do you feel after your nap, hmm? Does your throat still hurt?”

“A...*snfl*...a little,” Quinn yawned, rubbing her pink nose methodically on the back of her knuckles. “Rachel? You're...*snfl*...you're still there?”

“I'mb here,” Rachel agreed sleepily, dropping her soggy tissues to her lap so she could reach out and squeeze her girlfriend's hand. “I got you.” The two men looked at each other, silently agreeing that no teenagers alive had ever been quite as endearing as theirs.

“Girls, you both need to have something to drink so you don't get dehydrated,” Michael rumbled gently, reaching across them to feel both their foreheads again. “What would you like, hmm? I brought home some root beer and ginger ale, or you could have some more hot tea or some of your dad's soup. Anything you want, sweetlings.”

“Gindger ale,” Rachel croaked, opening her eyes with a soft smile. “With a bendy-straw.”

“You got it, princess. How about you, Quinnie? What would you like?” So far, every time they had asked her this question, she grew shy and made a fuss about how she didn't need anything and didn't want to be a bother; but apparently she was finally getting over that now (or else she was too woozy and sick to be embarrassed anymore).

“I...*snfl*...I'll have root beer,” the blonde girl sniffled, blinking her eyes open again to find a tissue, as a thin trail of watery snot began to leak from her clogged nose. Jacob grabbed one and pressed it into her hand. “Hhhhuh...th-thadks...*snfl*...” The blonde girl huffed in a soft, wheezy breath, gently squeezing her pink nose as it quivered. “Uhh'ISHHT!! *Snfl*....Hhuh'chOO!!! UhhchOOoo!!! *Snfl*...” The blonde girl sniffled and sneezed helplessly, gently squeezing her leaky nose as it hovered on the brink of another sick, congested sneeze.

“Poor Quinndie,” Rachel sighed, slipping a hand under the blankets to rest on her girlfriend's knee.

“I...I...hheh'TSHHiiuh!!! *Snfl*...I dod't feel that bad,” Quinn shook her head weakly, tissue pressed to her pink nose. “Ehh'chxsht!!” She gave one final, desperate sneeze into her soggy tissue, then coughed sharply. But, after several hours in front of the humidifier, the cough didn't last very long.

“Bless you, sweetheart,” Michael squeezed her shoulder gently. “I'm glad you're feeling a little better, but you're both still awfully sick. Just stay cuddled up nice and cozy, and I'll bring you your drinks. Okay, sweetlings?”

“Uh-huh,” Rachel yawned, and Quinn nodded woozily in agreement.

“Shall we put on some cartoons, hmm kittens?” Jacob asked gently, already reaching for the remote.

“Yeah,” Quinn smiled woozily. “Advendture Timbe. *Snfl.*”

“You got it.” Jacob flipped through the DVR and turned on the cartoon, watching the two girls out of the corner of his eye as they rubbed their eyes and sat up a tiny bit straighter, trying to wake up enough to pay attention to the TV. “Be right back, all right girls?” He kissed them both on top of their heads and slipped out of the room after his husband. Rachel coughed, and Quinn stroked her hair.

“You okay, baby boo?” The blonde girl asked croakily, lightly pressing a hand over her girlfriend's collarbone.

“Uhh...*snfl*...uh-huh,” Rachel nodded, taking another tissue from the box that had been set between them on the couch. A helpless little crinkle appeared between her eyes as they snapped shut, and a wheezy breath caught deep in the center of her chest. “HhahESHoo!!! ...*Snfl.*” She doubled over and sneezed into the tissue. Quinn leaned in and kissed her temple.

“Bless you, cutie-pie,” the blonde girl hummed, a sweet smile curling the corner of her lips even while her forehead blazed, her throat burned, and her sinuses pounded.

“Thag you,” Rachel sniffled, wadding up the soggy tissue and rubbing it briskly under her leaky nostrils. “Hhuh...*snfl*...hhhuh...hhah'ISHXOOoo!!!” Another desperate sneeze, another sniffle, another sigh.

“Bless you,” Quinn yawned; and when Rachel finished blowing her nose, Quinn pulled her girlfriend's free hand into her lap, and began lightly trailing her nails up and down her inner forearm, both of them settling back into the couch to watch Jake, Finn and Princess Bubblegum battle funny monsters.

“Hey, Rach?” Quinn asked sleepily after a few minutes.

“Uhh...*snfl*...uh-huh?” The dark-haired girl yawned.

“You doe this is...*snfl*...this is totally...the best I've ever felt whed...*snfl!*...whed I was sigck. I thidk I...*snghf*...fidally doe what it feels like to...t-to have a...aahhh...a f-fambily...aht'chxshh!! 'Chshht!! *Snfl.*” As they wiped their noses and murmured their blessings to each other, Jacob stood in the hallway with two glasses of soda on a tray. He was glad, now, that his husband had taken that picture of the kids while they were sleeping, after all...because he knew he was going to remember this day for the rest of his life. Maybe, if it wasn't too embarrassing, he'd even tell it when he gave his toast at their wedding.

THE END!

[lucker051038]

the detail on the characters is so fantastic...which makes the sneeze more attractive