May the Best Man Win - Lupin the Third (chapter ?)

[DaylightStarr]

Title: May the Best Man Win

Fandom: Lupin the Third

Disclaimer: I am sad that I don’t own these characters, but I do not. They belong to MonkeyPunch and whoever else owns the rights to the show/movies ect.

Summary: A lost Faberge Egg is making its way home to a Russian museum, that is if Lupin doesn’t get to it first. However when his right-hand man is sick it does tend to put him at something of a disadvantage. And then of course, good old Zenigata has to show up and spoil all the fun. But it looks like the poor bastard isn’t at his best either. It’s anyone’s game at this point and May the Best Man Win!

A/N: Like the show itself, I have taken a great deal of artistic licence with history. The Commemorative Egg is still lost. I also fail at Russian geography, and have no clue how many museums are in Moscow. However that sort of knowledge doesn’t seem to stop the writers of the show, and I’m not going to let it stop me.

Also, Jigen and Goemon are very much my OTP so I have them together in this fic. It’s time for Jigen to have a love interest that isn’t going to betray or die on him.

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It seemed as if every time he left this place he swore he would never come back. Yet somehow, somehow, he found himself back here. This time it was at the insistence of his best friend and partner in crime. “I friggin’ hate Russia.” The declaration was punctuated by a deep, miserable sniffle.

Lupin winced in sympathy and nodded. “I know you do Jigen, but this is seriously a once in a several lifetimes opportunity here.” His eyes gleamed in an almost manic way as he looked sideways from one companion to the other. The Alexander the Third Commemorative Faberge Egg, lost for almost one hundred years, is finally making its way back to home to Mother Russia. But I say the Russians have gotten along just fine and dandy without it for this long so what’s the rush? I happen to know of many private collectors who would be willing to pay well above asking price for that little beauty and my motto is ‘give the people what they want, so long as they can afford it’.”

“You ever stop to think that maybe that egg belongs here?” He held up a finger and turned away quickly. “Hur-eh-cchhht! Hep-ehhh-chhht!” He sniffled and fumbled with a packet of tissues and wiped his nose before continuing. “Maybe we’re the ones who should just cut our losses and get the hell out of here.”

“Hey now, don’t you be getting any ideas like that again. I checked around. There are no curses, charms, hexes or spells on that little goodie, so she’s all ours.”

Goemon had been quiet during the exchange, but when Jigen looked at him for input he met his boyfriend’s eyes and shrugged apologetically. “Lupin is correct about this, and while we both empathise with you, it would be foolhardy for us to walk away empty handed. For once fortune has smiled upon us, giving us not only the opportunity but removing one of our two main opponents from our path.”

Jigen huffed an unwilling laugh. “I guess it was a stroke of dumb luck, Fujiko breaking her leg like that. Thank whatever you want to thank for steep ski slopes and rich playboy boyfriends.” He tucked his tissues back into his pocket and rubbed his temples. “So what about the other thorn in our side?”

Lupin snickered, although the mirth didn’t quite make it to his eyes. “Zenigata? I ran into Old Pops in the shop here at our hotel and I don’t think we need to worry about him either. He’s in worse shape than you are, Jigen. If he’d been on his toes he would have seen right through the fake beard and eyebrows I had on. They didn’t even look real. But he just walked right passed me, even said ‘beg your pardon’ before he made a beeline to the cold and flu counter.”

“He’s sick? What the hell is he doing out here in this godforsaken frozen hellhole? Heh-heh-Hur-ehhh-Chhht! Hep-ehh-chhtt!” He glared at Lupin while he searched for the tissues he’d prematurely put away, as if holding the master thief personally responsible for not only his condition, but the inspector’s as well.

“Don’t look at me like that. You know Zenigata as well as I do and you know that if word got out that a thought to be lost Faberge Egg was on its way to Russia there’s nowhere else in the world he’s going to want to be. He would never forgive himself if I got hold of that beautiful relic while he was at home nursing a cold. He could never show his face at Interpol again.”

“That’s a low blow, even for you.”

“Who knew that getting sick would turn you into friggin’ Mother Theresa? If you don’t want a share in this, Goemon and I can get on just as well without you.” Lupin crossed his arms, and Goemon said nothing, but it was more that clear that he sided with Lupin on this particular issue.

Jigen bristled visibly. “When did I ever say that I wasn’t going to be a part of this? I was just saying that it’s sort of a dick move, getting at a guy when he’s already down for the count. If he didn’t even know who you were in a disguise that wouldn’t normally fool a blind man, then we have him at a disadvantage. And while I like it when the odds are stacked in my favor as much as the next guy, that was what I meant when I said it was a low blow.”

Lupin sighed, irritated, but ready to overlook anything said by the sick man. And if he was honest with himself, a man he did want, if not need, on this heist. “Alright, as long as we’ve got that cleared up.” He pulled out a small notebook and opened it. “We know that the Egg is on a heavily armored train even as we speak and it won’t even be in town until tomorrow morning. And we can’t risk showing up when it first arrives anyway. Even in the condition that he’s in, Pops would know to look for us then. Our best bet is to go to the museum to scout things out around four in the afternoon or so. That way all the fanatics will sort of clear up and we’ll be able to get around more easily; figure out how to get to it when the museum is closed down. So I’d suggest we all sort of rest up, then we can start fresh tomorrow afternoon.” He looked at Jigen. “Do you need anything to help you sleep?”

Jigen smirked and pulled out a small flask. “I got all the medicine I need right here.” He took a swig and rose from the sofa, removing his legs from Goemon’s lap, and headed for the bedroom. After changing out of his rather rumpled slacks and blazer, Jigen climbed into bed, pulling the covers tightly around his body. Damn Russia with it’s damn winter weather. Why did the Egg have to go on display at Christmas time anyway? It was a friggin’ Easter Egg, wasn’t it? Why not show it during Easter, when things were at least a little warmer? He was debating the merits of undoing his cocoon and getting more blankets when the door opened and Goemon sat down on the edge of the bed next to him. Jigen fixed him with a cross stare. “You know, you could have tried to see things my way out there. At the very least backed me on the whole Zenigata thing.”

Goemon sighed and pressed a cool hand on Jigen’s forehead before answering. “You’re starting a fever.”

“Right, tell me something I don’t know. Or better yet, answer my question without being all mystic, if you can.”

Goemon looked thoughtfully at the wall. “It isn’t that I disagree with you on this. I simply see Lupin’s point too. Now is very much the ideal time to strike, while we don’t have anything standing in our way.”

“Yeah,” Lupin’s voice made both men start as their leader joined them, “but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel like a dog for taking advantage of the situation, either.” Goemon climbed completely onto the bed next to Jigen and allowed Lupin to pull up a chair next to them.

“What are you saying?” Jigen rested his aching head on Goemon’s shoulder. “I know you don’t want to back out of this.”

“You know me well. Of course I don’t want to back out. We didn’t come all this way to go back without anything to show for all our pains. What I’m saying is that I’m gonna give the poor bastard a fighting chance. It really isn’t much fun when the game is so rigged you’d have to try to lose anyway. So yeah, you guys get some rest, I’ve got some work to do.”

Edited November 9, 2013 by DaylightStarr

[SterlingSilver]

Weeeee~! It's UP~! I was so excited to see it this morning >w<~ I read it from top to bottom, and I LOVE it thus far~

You really have all the characters down pat, and hurrah for not one, but two characters getting ill xDD

I love where this is going already--the plot is nice and sturdy~~

Also:

“Who knew that getting sick would turn you into friggin’ Mother Theresa?

xDDDDDDDDD I laughed out loud~

[DaylightStarr]

BlackScatter: I am SOOO glad you're enjoying it! I'm having a lot of fun writing it, myself. I've always been fascinated with the Last Tsar of Russia as well as Faberge Eggs, so I figured why the heck not couple them with the World's Greatest Thief? I'm aslo very happy that that part made you laugh! Thank you for the review! <3

Chapter Two:

A/N: I want to thank SmileyFaceGirl for helping me with my stuffy-talk. She's very creative with hers and was gracious enough to offer to help me with mine!

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“You said subode left sumthi’g for be dowd here?” The elderly graveyard shift manager sharply looked up from balancing his books but his expression quickly softened. In front of him stood the sickest and most disheveled looking man he’d seen in a long time. His shoulders drooped as if laden down with more burdens than he cared to say, there were dark bruise-like shadows under his eyes and his nose was an angry shade of red. The clothes he was wearing, while never extremely tidy when he wore then normally, had the wrinkled appearance of having been doned in the dark, which was almost exactly what had happened.

The manager recovered himself quickly, calling his mind back to the matter at hand, rather than looking over the wretched looking man leaning on his counter. “Inspector Zenigata, I presume?”

The inspector nodded wearily, sniffling into a handkerchief that looked just as tired and over-worked as the person in possession of it. Fishing in his desk, the manager pulled out a thick envelope and handed it to Zenigata. “Thadk… thad… Hek-isshh-CHHHUU! Heh-ISSHHUUU! Heh-Hek-ISSHHUUuu! Hek-ISSHHH!” He made sure he was finished before slowly lowering his handkerchief, refusing to look back at his host. “Thadk you sir.” There was a hint of embarrassment in his voice as he opened it and pulled out the letter, shoving the empty envelope in his trenchcoat pocket. His eyes skimmed down the letter and seemed to grow huge as he pursed his lips with irritation.

“If I may Inspector, you look and sound positively ill. I’m sure whatever business is in that letter can wait. After all, it’s two in the morning.”

Zenigata seemed not to hear the kind suggestion as he slammed the paper down on the desk. “Who gave this to you and how lo’g ago did they leave?” The quick burst of energy was undermined by a fit of coughing and his body all but forced him to sink down into the chair that the manager had rushed to find for him.

“A young woman came in four hours ago and dropped it off. She didn’t say anything other than your name and she left in a hurry. We rang your room as soon as we received it, but until now, there was no answer.” Discreetly he reached over the desk and plucked a box of tissues from the table, setting it in Zenigata’s lap. The worn handkerchief was quickly tucked away as the sick inspector gratefully wiped his nose with the soft, dry paper. The manager’s chair was pulled around so that he could face his guest and neither would have to stand to see the other.

“Yeah, sorry about that, I was sorta dead to the world. I do’t eved do’e what bade me wake up the last tibe you called me.”

“And it sounds as if you still should be dead to the world. I do feel guilty for waking you.”

“Do’t be ridiculous, I’b fide… Just… just… Hek-ISSHHUU! Heh-ISHHHUU! Hek-SHHUU!” He drew a shuddering breath and wiped at his nose before continuing his protest. “It’s just a little head cold is all, it’ll be gode before you do’e it. I just deed to bake heads or tails out of this dab letter, that’s the issue at ha’d. Regrettably I’b dot as fabiliar with this charbing coudtry of yours as I’d like to be, so I do’t do’e where ady sort of jewels or other treasures would be.”

Cocking his head in a curious way, the manager held out a hand innocently. “Perhaps I may be of assistance? I like to think of myself as something of a history buff and I know all the museums. Is that what you are here for?”

“Doh I’b… I should’t be telli’g you this, actually, I do’t really do’e you.” He coughed in a congested way and leaned his head back against the back of his chair. “I’ve been chasi’g this ode guy for years now, and doh batter what I do he’s always ode step ahead of me. It’s so addoyi’g. Ad right dow he’s just taudting be ad adding to by workload.” He sat up and cupped a tissue over his nose and mouth. “Her-EHSHHU! Hep-Eh-CHUU! Hek-ISHHUU!” He sniffled thickly and rubbed his eyes with the pads of his fingers.

“I see. That does sound quite tiresome, but I still might be able to help you. At the very least provide you with a new set of eyes.”

It was a testament to exactly how sick Zenigata was that he handed over the letter with no other prodding. “Hey Pops, a little birdie told me you were under the weather so I’m gonna make things easier for you. We both know why we’re here but I also have my eye on three other little Imperial gems while I’m in the area. If you can guess which ones I’m after and stop me I will not only put all three of the items back where I found them, I will also leave Moscow without so much as a Rouble. Catch you before you catch me, Lupin the Third.”

The manager skimmed it and frowned. “There are several museums near the one where the Egg will be on display, and all of them have at least one artifact from the Tsar. How will you know which one he will strike first?”

“That’s the thi’g with Lupid, you do’t do’e adythi’g. He’s the bost udpredictable persod od the whole pladet.” There was a marked lack of zeal in his voice that was normally present when he talked about Lupin. Zenigata pulled a couple of tissues from the box and brought them up to his face. “Her-ISHHHUUU! Hekisshh-SHHUU! Heh-Hek-ISHHHUU!” He massaged his throbbing eyes and sniffled again.

The slightly wizzen man smiled sadly and got up. “Well, I can only tell you a few things for certain, nothing is open this time of day, your adversary is more than likely nowhere near any of those places at the moment and you would do very nicely with a strong hot cup of tea. After you have had it, I would strongly advise that you return to bed. That would be the most helpful thing for you right now.” He headed to a back room where a pot full of hot water was always ready for making tea. After he filled a large ceramic coffee cup with the water and dropped the tea bag in, he added a tiny amount of fine white powder. Stirring as he walked, he handed the cup to Zenigata. “I’m sorry I could only help with finding you that cup of tea, though.”

Zenigata shook his head and sipped the tea, then wrapped his rather icy fingers around the mug. He was too stuffy to taste anything, but he was fairly sure it was a form of chamomile, the best kind to help with sleep. He relaxed visibly as the hot liquid seemed to meld into him and tilted his head against the back of his chair. “You do’t deed to be sorry, at least you listeded. Dot too bany people really listed to be all that ofted.” His eyes started to droop closed as he made headway on his tea. He must have been more tired than he thought for it to affect him this quickly.

“Shall we return you to your room, Inspector? You don’t want to sleep on this chair, your back won’t thank you in the morning.” He held a hand out to him, his eyes sympathetic.

“Huh? Oh yeah, that bight dot be a bad idea.” Zenigata nodded groggily and didn’t even bother to contain a huge yawn while he allowed the older man to help him to his feet and guide him up to the second floor and to his room. {Pretty strong for an older fella} he thought to himself as he tried not to allow his full, aching head fall against the rather skinny shoulder. He wasn’t really sure how much of his weight his new friend could take. He was more than mostly asleep when the manager helped him onto the bed, pulling the covers up to his chin and by the time his companion had straightened up, Zenigata was snoring heavily.

As soon as he was sure that the sick inspector was honestly asleep, the manager brought an oddly young hand to his face and tugged at his cheek, revealing Lupin’s face under the mask. He looked uncharacteristically concerned as he stared down at his sleeping nemesis. “God Pops, how about you make it easy on both of us for once and just go home, huh? You’re not doing yourself any favors being here and you have to know I’ll win in the end. Maybe I don’t always, but I will with you like this. I know you won’t go anywhere, but I’m just saying… anyway, sleep well, tomorrow’s gonna be a long day for both of us.” With that Lupin left the room, hanging the Do Not Disturb sign on the door handle.

Edited November 8, 2013 by DaylightStarr

[SterlingSilver]

“You do’t deed to be sorry, at least you listeded. Dot too bany people really listed to be all that ofted.”

*hit with arrow to heart* OH MY GOSH, DAYLIGHT. THAT HAS TO BE ONE OF THE SADDEST LINES EVER WRITTEN~

It tugged at my heart strings QwQ.. POOR POOR ZENIGATA.

Usually I'm kind of bleh when it comes to the inspector, but you made him so adorable and sick and fluffy and grwahafhas;fjkdsgiojgkl;jgksla <3 <3 <3

Two updates in one day is more than I can ask~

He looked uncharacteristically concerned as he stared down at his sleeping nemesis.

AND LUPIN? CONCERNED FOR HIS NEMISIS? UWAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~~~~

THOSE FEELS!!

SERIOUSLY I LOVE THIS. I CAN'T TELL YOU ABOUT THESE FEELS. TOO EXTENSIVE~

I can't WAIT to see more of this!!

[NameTaken]

Aghhh oh my goodness I don't have time to read this right now, but I scrolled through and YES I am so thrilled you've decided to write this!

Long time lupin fan/jigen bias! Aghh can't wait to read this properly, please continue if you feel up to it

[DaylightStarr]

BlackScatter: EEEEKKKK!!!!!! That was exactly the feeling I was going for! I feel like Zenigata is so much the butt-monkey of the show and I especially love getting into that sort of character's head. Also, the only Lupin episode to ever make me tear up a little was one all about the Zenigata feels. SOOO SAD!!!!! That was when I sort of developed my not so little crush I have going on here.

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Name Taken: SWEET! Yeah, I'm so much a Jigen fangirl. That guy is the best, even though as a feminist I find myself torn between wanting to be offended at what he says about women and wanting to laugh SO HARD!! The latter always wins... ALWAYS! I'm so glad you've decided to at least look inside. I hope you like it.

That being said, this next one is a Jigen chapter.

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“What the hell do you mean you drugged him?”

“To alter one’s opponent's state of consciousness is to fight without honor.”

The pair was seated on either side of the sofa with Lupin sitting across the coffee table in a chair facing between them, looking for all the world like a student being chastised by two of his favorite teachers at once.

“Look man…”

Lupin looked up at Jigen and shook his head. “It was hardly enough to knock out a child, honest. The poor guy was already exhausted and all he needed was a little extra push. I’m a bad guy, but I’m not that bad a guy.”

Jigen and Goemon exchanged glances then Jigen sighed, rubbing his forehead. “I know you aren’t. It’s just that when you say you drugged someone, I can’t help but think about all the times it’s happened for not so good reasons, but it sounds like he actually needed it. You said he actually sat down to have tea with you?”

Lupin nodded slowly, leaning his chin on his hands and his elbows on his knees. “He drank it like it was the nectar of the gods. I’m telling you guys, it was sort of creepy being that close to him and not feeling like he was going to try to arrest me at any given moment.”

“I bet.” Jigen sounded slightly distracted by his own irritated nose. Goemon sighed and pulled a tissue from the box next to his elbow and handed it to him. Jigen nodded his thanks and blew his nose rather loudly, earning himself a dirty look from his boyfriend, then tossed it in the general direction of the wastebasket. “So, what are you gonna do about him?” Jigen stretched out on the sofa, tilting his hat over his eyes, placing his hands behind his head and his feet in Goemon’s lap. Goemon absently rested a hand on Jigen’s legs and watched Lupin think. It really was a privilege, seeing ideas form in his head as well as they did. But then he subtly turned his attention back to Jigen. He looked worn out and ill as well. In fact, Goemon thought that if he got much worse, he’d be forced to stay back at the hotel.

Lupin glanced at his best friend as well before answering. Jigen seemed to be half dozing already, which wasn’t a good sign. “Well, I’m to the point where I almost want to just spell it out for him. There are three competing museums close enough to be threatened by the arrival of the Egg.” He pulled out a small pocket map of the city and put it on the table. Goemon tilted his head to look, but Jigen seemed to not be paying attention. Lupin moved his chair so that Goemon could look at the map without disturbing the napping gunman. He pointed to a museum on a street behind the targeted one. “So, because I did tell Zenigata that I was only interested in Imperial treasure, and as the last prize is a Faberge Egg, why not keep it themed to the last Tsar? This is the first place we’ll hit. It currently houses the necklace Alexandra wore during Nicholas's coronation. After we’ve done that, there’s this place across from it.” He pointed to another marker. “The royal wedding rings are on display there and from what I gather, they’re a sight to see. The last stop is practically next door to the big job. It’s a very small place with a piece on loan from a bigger place. A tiaira that one of the daughters wore to her First Communion. If Zenigata is going to find us at all, it’ll be there. And if he does catch us, we kiss Russia goodbye without so much as seeing the Egg. That was the deal and I’m nothing if not a man of my word.”

Jigen was apparently paying more attention to the conversation than either of his companions knew. He tilted up his hat and gave Lupin a glare of tired annoyance. “You know if Pops isn’t as sick as you say he is then you’re playing with fate, don’t you? Suppose he’s feeling better or something today?” His eyes closed and he brought his hands up to his face. “Hang… Her-Ehh-Chht! Heh-Chhtt! Heh-Heh-Ehhchhtt! Hep-eh-chhtt!” He groaned and helped himself to the tissue box that Goemon had tossed gently onto his stomach while his was incapacitated. He blew his nose and put his head back on the arm of the sofa, seeming to have forgotten what he was trying to say.

“I know you’re worried, but I think the question more to the point is are you going to be okay to do this? You don’t need to worry about Zenigata, there’s no way he’s well enough to follow my clues, even if I make them as simple as I know how to. Which is still pretty complex to most people’s way of thinking, not gonna lie.”

“Modesty, modesty. And yeah, I should be fine in a couple of hours. It’s what, seven now? These sort of places don’t open until ten, so I’ll be good to go by then.” He sniffled and blew his nose again, tossing his tissue toward the can.

“Your aim is not as impeccable when you are ill, Jigen.” Goemon looked slightly perturbed by this fact, but made no move to get up and disturb Jigen’s rest.

“I’m not trying for impeccable. Besides, last time I checked shooting a gun and playing for the NBA weren’t quite the same thing.” He coughed and turned his attention back to Lupin. “So what does this all mean? The scouting trip to the museum is set back or what?”

“There’s no reason we can’t be totally on schedule with that. These jobs won’t take any time at all because the security will be lax.”

“If you say so. I guess you should just tell us what you want us to do in these new heists and we’ll go from there, huh?”

“Well, about that. I was thinking, can you faint on command?”

Jigen shoved his hat backwards a bit and eyed Lupin carefully. “Maybe, why do you ask?”

“Because in the state you’re in right now you’ll be a great decoy.”

“No friggin’ way am I gonna be your friggin’ damsel in distress! Get on the horn right now and call Fujiko if you want one of those. She should be extra compelling what with her thigh-high cast and crutches. Just expect to get screwed after all is said and done, and I don’t mean in the way your sick mind would like.” He fell into a brooding silence.

“Alright, alright, it was just a thought. You don’t have to get all defencive with me.” Lupin held up both hands in submission.

Goemon sighed softly, knowing that he was about to catch hell for what he was going to say. “It might not be the worst idea Lupin has ever had, you know.”

“I don’t friggin’ believe this! Are you actually suggesting that I go along with that hairbrained plan?” Jigen sat up rather too quickly, removing his legs from Goemon’s lap and ignoring the painful head-rush that followed. He glared at his boyfriend weakly, and then slumped down with his hands between his knees.

“I’m simply saying that the idea has merit. And of course you wouldn’t have to faint, or even pretend to. You would just have to be ill enough to gain sympathy from the guards and then Lupin could take it from there. You already look it and as I stated last night, you are running a slight fever. We can use it to our advantage.”

“Fine, what’s your idea?” Jigen sounded subdued and exhausted as he sank back against the sofa arm and settled his feet into their proper place. Goemon ran his hand up and down Jigen’s lower legs in quiet empathy, knowing exactly how sick he was feeling, even if he was trying to hide the extent of it from Lupin.

“You and I will go to the museums as men on a business trip who find themselves with time to kill. Our meetings have finished early and we’ve been curious about Russian history since we came here and saw all the old buildings and monuments. However, you really should be using your time off to rest…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three hours later Jigen and Goemon were dressed in casual business wear and wandering through a near empty museum, their only company being a loud, stooped old man who kept exclaiming over the pieces on display. The men tried to avoid him as much as they could.

“I told you that you should have stayed behind.” Goemon chided lightly. “You need to take this time to rest.”

Jigen shook his head, eying the man who seemed to be following them wherever they turned. “And I told you that I’m fine, just a little congested is all. I don’t know when we’ll get back here and I wanted to see this place before we left. Her-Eh-Chhhtt! Hep-eh-CHhhtt! Her-eh-CHHTT!” He sniffled and blew his nose, stuffing the used tissue in his pocket, much to Goemon’s disgust. The pair made a couple more stops before standing in front of the necklace display. The old man one display over, chattering to himself excitedly.

Suddenly Jigen started to cough and braced a hand against the glass, causing the alarm to go off. Two security guards were at their side in short order. “Excuse me, Sir? I’m afraid…”

Goemon cut him off, flashing him an irritated look. “My friend is ill. If you are going to do anything would you mind helping me take him somewhere where he can sit down?”

The guards exchanged looks and nodded, one taking him by the arm and leading him to the back room, leaving the forgotten man alone in the room. He laughed to himself and made quick work of the display while the alarm was still going off and just as quickly ran out of the fire exit. In place of the necklace there was an envelope.

While the old man was helping himself to the display case, Goemon and Jigen were in a smallish breakroom with the guards. Jigen was sitting down glaring into a cup of tea and Goemon was standing near his chair. “Will you turn that damned alarm off?” One of the men barked at the other.

“I’m trying. You know nothing works in this hole.” He pushed a few more buttons, not bothering to look up at the monitor as the old man tottered out the fire door. Finally the alarms stopped sounding and the guard took a deep breath, tilting back in his chair. “How’s our guest doing?”

Jigen sipped his tea as directed by a jerk of Goemon’s head. He was never much in the way of a tea drinker, drinking it only when Goemon asked him to as a personal favor and even then he normally had to have it spiked with something a little stronger. He looked up at the question and nodded. “Better, thank you. Sorry about setting off your alarms and all that.” He got to his feet and set the empty cup down on the table. “Her-eh-CHHTT! Heh-eh-Chhtt! Hep-eh-CHHTT! Heh-ESHH-chhtt! Excuse me, I guess my friend here is right, I really should have stayed at the hotel.” Goemon shoved away from the wall to follow him. “Thanks for the tea.”

“Of course Sir, thank you for visiting.” The guard closest to the door held it open for them as the walked out.

[SterlingSilver]

Fweeeee~! The plot continues! And might I say, you are a master of dialogue~

“No friggin’ way am I gonna be your friggin’ damsel in distress! Get on the horn right now and call Fujiko if you want one of those. She should be extra compelling what with her thigh-high cast and crutches.

This made me laugh so much xDDDD. Ahhh, your words are gems, Daylight~

[DaylightStarr]

BlackScatter: Thank you so much! It means a lot to hear that you like my dialog. And thank you for keeping up with this story, it makes me want to finish it! I think I have one more chapter after this one. The story will resolve itself... one way or another.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Idspector Zedigata, Idterpol.” The declaration wasn’t as authoritative as it normally was and the man making it didn’t seem half as imposing as he barely shoved his way through the crowd of local police officers, flashing his badge as he did so. “You say Lupid was here?” He looked at the two security guards. “Which one of you is respodsible for this? I’ll see you fired! Heh-KehSHHUU! Heh-EhCHHUU! Heh-heh-” He froze and closed his eyes, tilting his head back in exasperation as the last sneeze refused to come. “Dab it!” Zenigata brought a handkerchief up to his nose and sniffled into it. It wasn’t the same one he’d been using the night before, but it was starting to seem to be in the same shape.

One of the guards stepped forward. “Sir, we were both occupied with a patron at the moment or we certainly wouldn’t have allowed him to get away.”

The other one nodded and nervously joined his companion, holding out a large, bulky manila envelope. It was addressed in a very familiar script. “To Pops AKA: The ugly old man who really should have stayed in bed this morning. You’ll know him when you see him. He’ll be yelling, maybe waving around handcuffs and will more than likely be sicker than a dog.” Zenigata skimmed the address and gave the guard a withering glare, more than a little annoyed that he fitted him with the description, no matter how accurate it may be. When he opened the envelope he pulled out not only a letter but a pocket pack of tissues. He rolled his eyes but stuffed them in his pocket none the less, then skimmed over the letter. “Hey Pops, too slow! I knew you would be. And by the time you finish blustering about and yelling at people who were just doing their jobs, we’ll be in and out of the next target. But you know what they say, always keep one step ahead of the competition. I’ll either see you at my third target or I’ll be on my way to the grand prize. Too bad I’m not Russian Orthodox, or I could have taken Communion and said a little prayer to have God on my side. No matter, I’ll have to rely on my own luck for this. Catch you later, Lupin the Third. P.S. That little present I left you wasn’t just for looks, by the time you finish this you may want to use them.”

Zenigata growled and crumpled the letter in his fist, stuffing it into his coat pocket. Then he fished out the tissues and wiped his sore nose, wincing a bit as he did so. “How lo’g ago did you fide this?”

“About twenty minutes ago, Sir.” The two men looked at each other. “But we don’t know how long the necklace was missing before then, though.”

“Crap! Well that’s just… crap!” He cocked his hat over one eye and stalked out of the museum without another word, climbing into the passenger side of the patrol car. “So Adtod,” he glanced at the young officer who’d been assigned to him while he was in Russia. “Where are sub other places that would have artifacts from Dicholas the Secod? Aside frob the one with the Egg, I do’e that’s goda be his last battle with be if I cad’t trip hib up on these little heists first.” Zenigata closed his eyes and put his throbbing head in his hands. “Bake it easier on be by ass. If he really wa’ted to do that he would have just left all this alode to start with. Heh-er-SHHHUU! Heh-eh-ChhhUU! Heh-eh-SHUUU! Hep-ek-SHHUU! Heh-ehssuu!”

“Sir, I’m sure that if needed, we could return you to your hotel and work on the case without you, if your body seems to want rest more than your mind wants to catch this man.”

“Doh, doh that wod’t be decessary. I just deed to do’e about the other buseubs aroud this place.” The inspector sounded exhausted in spite of the fact that he was determined to press on.

“Well, there are two others that I can think of. The first one is near the big museum, for three months it will boast being home to one of the princesses First Communion tiaras. And the other one is the permanent residence of the Imperial couple’s wedding rings.”

Zenigata sighed and buried his head on his arms as he rested then on the dashboard. “Alright, but how the hell ab I supposed to do’e what ode he’s already stoled ad what ode he’s pladding od taking dext?” He lifted his head and sighed softly in exasperation. “A tiara and weddi’g ri’gs… blast it, this first one was a decklace, so I do’e he’s dot worki’g his way frub top to bottob or bottob to top, he had to start in the biddle. Codtrary little pu’k. I cad’t wait to wipe that sbirk frub his face.” Wrinkling his nose, Zenigata dug in the heavy winter coat he kept in his luggage for occasions like these, when he found the tissues Lupin so very kindly left for him, the note fluttered on to his lap. “Her-ehSHHUU! Hek-ISHHUU! Hep-EK-SHUU! Dab it, Lupid, I really should be… ha’g od.” Zenigata opened the letter and skimmed over it one more time, grinning to himself with a feverish form of delight. “Of course! You are getting way too clubsy you little bastard!” He held the letter out to Anton. “He told me what he was doi’g id this! You see, YOU SEE?!”

“I… I’m sorry Sir, I can’t, I’m driving. I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”

“He’s already stole’d the rings, but we cad get theb back if we cad just catch hib taki’g that tiara. He put his clue in here, talki’g about taki’g Cobbudiod. How the hell did I biss it? Baybe he’s right, baybe I’b gettid’ old, but you do’e what? I’b still you’g edough to keep hib od his toes!” He leaned forward, the head-cold momentarily forgotten as he gripped the dashboard tightly.

The officer hazarded a glance at his companion, convinced he was now completely crazy, or the fever had finally fried his brain. But he looked less foggy than he’d looked all day and he was certainly more lively.

Anton pulled the car up to a small, unassuming building and hardly had time to stop before Zenigata jumped out, looking for all the world like a man gone insane. The Russian police officer handed him a bullhorn silently and stepped back. "Alright Lupid, I've got you dow! I u'derstood that letter of yours. You thi'k you're pretty clever, do't you? Well you forgot that I cad read you like a childred's book and..."

The curator of the museum came out shaking his head. "I'm very sorry Sir, but the man you call Lupin has already gotten away, and with him the treasure." He shoulders slumped and he seemed crestfallen as he motioned for Zenigata to walk next to him. "He had help, we have no doubt. Two men came in shortly before the tiara was stolen and were looking at it. One of them seemed to be rather ill. He started to cough and came near to collapsing at the display. We took him to my office and allowed him to lie down while his friend explained to us that they were on a business trip from Japan and were eager to see the sights. We had some trouble turning the alarm off but fixed it soon enough. Then we noticed that the display had been broken into." He looked over as Zenigata sniffled and rubbed at his sore nose with a tissue. "Forgive me for saying so, Inspector, but you hardly look well yourself."

"That's dot the poidt. Tell be what happed whed you saw the jewelry was bissing."

The curator stopped in front of a security guard. "I'm afraid that's as far as my story goes, but I'll leave you in the hands of someone who would know." He turned and walked to the exit. "Oh, and Inspector Zenigata?" He called over his shoulder. "I do hope you'll find the time to get some rest this afternoon. You have a long night ahead of you. And you seem to be falling down on the job."

Zenigata followed the guard for two paces before stopping dead in his tracks. "Todight? How the hell did he do'e what I was doi'g todight? Or by dabe for that batter? Dab it! That was Lupid! We deed to go after hib!"

The guard frowned and shook his head. "I can assure you sir, it was not. I've worked with him for going on ten years now and I would know him anywhere," He unlocked the upstairs office and stopped short, Zenigata running into his back. In the curator's chair was that man stripped down to his underwear, tied to his chair and gagged.

"Crap! Crap da'g it!" Zenigata turned away and darted down the stairs, digging for his handcuffs as he headed for the exit. "Adtod, where..." He gasped, leaning heavily on the car. "The curator... where... Where did..." The young man made his way to Zenigata's side and took his elbow gently, helping him to stand up. "Her-eh-Shhuu! Hep-isshhuu! Hek-isshhuu!" Somehow, even his sneezes sounded exhausted as he straightened as best as he could and tugged at the coat, pulling it tighter around his frame. "Did you see where he went?"

Anton shook his head and took a travel mug from the hood of his car, pushing it into his companion's hands. "I believe he went home. I took the liberty of getting you hot coffee. You said you like it black, right?"

As much as he wanted to, Zenigata didn't toss the mug on the ground and tell Anton to chase the curator. Instead he nodded and sipped his coffee, completely unable to taste it. "It was Lupid id disguise. the real curator is upstairs bei'g udtied right dow." The words fell completely flat as suddenly Zenigata didn't even care anymore. All he wanted was his warm bed and maybe even something with alcohol in it to help him sleep. Normally he shied away from artificial forms of sleep-aids, but now, like magic, he just really didn't care.

"Are you sure, Inspector?" Anton looked down at him, his eyes compassionate but also slightly worried. It was a look Zenigata knew all too well. The young man was wondering if he'd finally lost his mind. It was fine, everyone who got to know him ended up wondering that.

Zenigata nodded and sat down heavily in the passenger's seat. "Yes, yes I'b very sure." He coughed and closed his eyes, feeling as if any energy he had had been wiped away by an invisible hand. "I should have do'ed, should have expected this..." He sniffled miserably and tilted his face toward the window.

"If that honestly was Lupin there was no way you could have known. Not if the curator’s own men didn't know who he was." He reached over and cranked up the heat. "May I take you back to your hotel, Sir?"

Zenigata turned and looked at his driver tiredly, then nodded. {He thinks I'm just a sick old man. He's actually feeling sorry for me.} He tried to resent that, but somehow he couldn't. {Well, maybe he's right. At least right now.} Zenigata wiped his sore red nose and winced, then closed his eyes again. When the hell did he get to be so... so tired? He was fine ten minutes ago, when he was chasing Lupin, but now he just wanted to rest...

A strong hand shook his shoulder before he knew it and he seemed to have to swim to come back to his senses. "We're here, Inspector Zenigata. Do you need help?"

{I may be old but I'm not that old,} Zenigata swung his legs over the side of the car and shook his head. "Thadk you, but doh, I cad badage." Slowly, fairly dragging one foot in front of the other, the inspector made his way to the elevator, then down the hallway to his room. He unlocked the door, toed off his shoes and didn't bother shedding any of his other articles of clothing. The bed looked comfortably unmade and he fell into it, burying his face into the soft pillows. Before he knew it he was in a very deep sleep.

[SterlingSilver]

*dances* QwQ~

Uweeeeeeee~! >w<~

Daylight, you've done it again <3. I love this~!

You do a great job of managing the mystery, which I personally believe is a huge feat. I find them hard enough to crack, let alone create LOL

Also, I like how you sort of trick us by having Zenigata so close to getting Lupin not just once, but twice~! And then (poor, poor guy), it backfires QwQ

So many feels for Zenigata this chapter TwT!! So many people think he's crazy or pathetic, and he just accepts it </3

RIGHT IN THE FEELZ *takes arrow to knee*

Can't wait for the next part~!

[DaylightStarr]

BlackScatter: I am so VERY happy you're enjoying this!!! I'm having a lot of fun writing it too. I've extended it so that there is one more chapter after this one, so yay!

~~~~~~~~~

Lupin walked into the bedroom and sighed, sitting down on the comfortable chair next to the bed. Goemon looked up from his book and nodded, his fingers were tangled in Jigen's hair and Jigen seemed to be very much asleep. The scouting mission had been a success and Lupin and Goemon had planned out the heist to the last detail, but Jigen's health was still an issue. The caper hinged as much on him as it did on either of them and they simply weren't sure how well he'd perform while this handicapped. "How's he doing?" Lupin put his feet on the bed and crossed his legs casually.

"Not well. His temperature is up a bit. The only thing that makes me feel a bit better is he's been sleeping since we got back, so he should be well rested." Goemon continued to pet Jigen's hair absently as he spoke.

"Yeah, that's something we can hope for anyway." He groaned and rubbed his face with his hands. "We're not horrible people for dragging him into this, are we? I mean, well, with him like this and all."

"You've known him longer than I have. If he didn't want to do this no amount of persuading would force him to do so." Goemon looked at Lupin keenly. "Or are you troubled about someone else?"

"Damn it, that's not fair, but now that you mention it, yeah, I guess I am. I mean, I really didn't need to lead him on a goose chase today."

A gravely voice came from the pillows nearest him. "You kept him out of our hair while we were looking over that museum this afternoon and, in your own twisted way forced him to stay in bed where he belonged after those few hours." Jigen lifted his head and looked at Lupin seriously. "Don't beat yourself up about it. You know that if you left him to his own devices he would have stayed at that friggin' museum from morning until we came tonight. He's like a high energy dog, you have to run him around before he'll get quiet and sleep. And he needed that sleep more than he needed to stand around in the friggin' cold Russian winter trying to figure out how we were going to get inside."

Goemon moved close to Jigen and allowed him to lean against him. He knew better than to chide him for waking up, but he also wanted to make him comfortable so that he would try to go back to sleep for just a little bit longer. Jingen closed his eyes and relaxed, allowing himself to drift off once again.

Goemon went back to running his fingers in Jigen’s hair, but he looked at Lupin. “He’s right. You can deny it all you want, but in fact you wanted Zenigata to sleep this afternoon as much as you wanted those other treasures.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m not denying anything, you guys know I don’t hate the guy and I really don’t want him up and dying of pneumonia on me. He’s a pain in the butt but he doesn’t deserve that.” He looked over at the small collection. “And we did get quite a haul in the process, didn’t we? I guess virtue really is its own reward.”

“While not wanting Inspector Zenigata to make himself considerably more ill is an admirable pursuit, I would hardly call what we do virtuous.”

“You have your ideas, I have mine I guess. I’m gonna go read for a bit myself. Make sure you wake him a five-fifteen, no later.”

“Of course.” Goemon turned back to his book and sighed to himself. Waiting was always easier on him than it was on the others.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Six o'clock rolled around and Anton waited outside in his squad car. The inspector had asked him to be at the hotel an hour before the museum closed so that they could set up and be ready for the inevitable. Lupin had bested him at every turn (although to be fair, he might have actually nabbed him if he hadn't been sick and the guard obtuse) and now it was time for the face-off. Anton got out of the car and held the door open for Zenigata, who trudged down the drive looking even worse than he had when he dropped him off earlier that afternoon. His hands were stuffed in his winter coat, his shoulders were hunched up to his ears and if his nose could have gotten any redder, it certainly had. Anton resisted the urge to feel the man's forehead and send him back to bed with a hot toddy. He found himself reminded of his rather eccentric older uncle when he looked at Zenigata. He had great respect and affection for his uncle, as the man normally came up with new and rather inventive ways to figure out mundane problems (like taking a shot gun to the rat's nest in his house, but that was another story) and felt that, if given different circumstances, Zenigata would have the same creative ways of thinking. However one did not feel surges of affection for one's boss, even if said boss was only in a position of temporary authority. So he said nothing outside of "I trust you rested well, Sir," and closed the door after him. He handed him a fresh cup of coffee as he pulled away from the hotel. "Do you have any idea how Lupin will get inside?"

Zenigata shook his head, curling his cold fingers around the cup. "Thadk you, Adtod. For the coffee I bead, ad for picki'g be up." He took a sip before continuing. "Ad to adswer your questiod, I have a few worki'g theories, but dothi'g for sure. We do'e he's a baster of disguise, ad we do'e that he bust have beed looki'g aroud the place today. But what he's goi'g to do with that is beyo'd be. I plad to check all the hidi'g places byself to bake sure he's dot just holi'g up id a bathroob or subthi'g stupidly sibple like that. It would be just like hib though." He shivered violently and started to cough, making Anton wince for him. Before he could stop himself, he lightly placed a hand on Zenigata's back in an attempt to offer a clumsy form of comfort.

"Alright Inspector Zenigata, what would you like to see happen?" He pulled his hand away quickly and started to drive off in the direction of the museum.

Zenigata tensed a bit as his subordinate touched his back, but it didn’t cross his mind to be annoyed by it. Rather he straightened himself and nodded his thanks stiffly before consulting his sketch of the layout of the museum. “Well, I’ll have the baid edtra’ce blocked by the police, so there’s doh way they can get out that way. Everyode od the teab do’ws everyode else, as buch good as that did this afterdood.” A dark look crossed over his features, but he regained his composure well enough. “I guess that’s water ud’er the bridge dow. After I check all the little hidi’g spots, I’b godda bake by way to the baid display roob. He is dot getti’g past be… Her-eh-CHHUU! Hep-ISHHUU! Heh-ISHHUU! Her-eh-CHUU! Dab it!” He sniffled deeply and touched his forehead. He had already run out of pocket tissues and was fumbling for a new, clean handkerchief when Anton dropped his own into his lap.

Zenigata frowned and looked at his companion, who kept his eyes on the road. “Please keep it, Sir. It’s clean and I have others.”

Zenigata sighed and nodded his thanks again, then brought it up to his face and coughed into it. Anton winced again, but said nothing as he parked the car outside of the museum. They still had a half hour before it emptied and it was going to prove to be the longest thirty minutes of either lawman’s life.

~~~~~~~~~~

The three thieves left the hotel at five-thirty and made their way to the museum. The plan was that they would all take different paths to get there and hardly even look at each other while they wandered around the building, each looking at different exhibits, until they had to. By now the sick tourist trick had leaked to this place and it would be unsafe to even let on that Jigen was sick. Before leaving the room Lupin handed Jigen a packet of extra strength tablets and told him to take more than the recommended dose if he needed to. “We can’t have you sneezing and giving us away, you know.”

Jigen took the packet but glared at him resentfully. “How many times could we have said the same to you over the years? Your nose is like a ticking time bomb with a faulty trigger.”

“Hey, that’s not very nice… but point taken. Anyway, consider this a favor, will you?”

Goemon looked at both of them as if they were a pair of bickering children then took the packet from Jigen and handed him two pills. “I don’t approve of drugging yourself to excess, you know that. Lupin, please do not encourage such behavior. It’s bad enough that he’s still smoking while he’s ill and I have a hard enough time trying to convince him to stick to drinking tea, I don’t need you telling him he should take more of these things than he should.”

Jigen swallowed the pills and zipped up his coat. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate you guys trying to look after me, but I really am a grown-up and I think I can decide what’s best for my body without help.” He exchanged his fedora for a winter hat and tugged it over his ears, allowing the door to fall behind them and lock automatically. “See you guys back here in three hours, right?”

“No more, no less.” Lupin put on his own winter gear and went down a different stairwell.

“Of course.” Goemon brushed Jigen’s fingers lightly before walking to the elevator.

The plan was very simple, yet it required every man to be at his designated post at the designated time and not a minute before. Knowing Zenigata he was expecting a grand show of ropes, pulleys airplanes and god alone knew what else. However all that wouldn’t be necessary if they all stuck to the idea.

Goemon arrived at the museum first and ducked into the restroom. he sighed deeply as he tugged off his long coat, revealing a loud, gory-looking band tee-shirt over a long sleeved shirt and ripped jeans. He ruffled his hair and pulled out Lupin’s makeup kit. Rolling his eyes in a resentful way he began drawing dark circles under them and coating his lips with a dark blood red shade. He wasn’t sure how Lupin was able to talk him into doing things like this. Surely his ancestors never debased themselves so in order to take what they had their eye on. When he was finished, he pulled out a small hip flask and headed for the main room, singing a Black Sabbath song under his breath.

After three minutes Jigen, entered the room. He was dressed in smart tweeds and very convincing extra false facial hair, and he looked rather harried. He’d explained to a guard that he’d meant to be there earlier but he’d been delayed at every turn. He moved right to the case and started to twirl his long moustache thoughtfully as he studied the Egg at great length. Then he pulled out a notebook and started to sketch.

“What are you doing?” Goemon moved to his elbow and looked down at the paper, while taking a drink from his flask.

“As photography is rightly forbidden, I am drawing every detail of this work of art as I see it. It is my hope that I will be able to recreate such beauty in my spare time, even if it takes me twenty years.” He looked over a Goemon and wrinkled his forehead in disgust. “I’m not even sure why someone like you is even interested in this piece at all.”

“Are you trying to tell me that you think only guys like you know good art when you see it? I’m an artist too. I paint with my own blood. That takes commitment.” He rolled up the sleeve of his undershirt and showed Jigen a large white bandage.

“You, sir, repel me. Would you kindly go elsewhere?” Jigen took out a hand mirror and held it to the underside of the Egg to get a better view. He didn’t seem to notice when it fell from his hand as he moved to the other side.

Goemon took out his own mirror and checked his makeup, then knelt to tie his boot, also leaving the mirror in a strategic place on the floor.

Jigen turned his attention back to the Egg and his sketch book, then touched his nose with the back of his hand. It was starting to itch and if he wasn’t careful… his breathing hitched very softly and Goemon gave him a sharp look. Jigen closed his eyes and held his breath, willing the soft, annoying tickle to go away. He let it out slowly and looked at Goemon. “I think I’ve been patient with you long enough. If you would excuse me.” He pushed passed him and headed into the men’s room. “Heh-eh-CHHTT! Hep-EH-CHHTT! Heh-eh-CHHTT!” He blew his nose softly, relieved that he was able to play his part before his cold got the better of him. It was up to Lupin now. He left the museum before the rest of the people could press him to get out.

It was six-thirty when Lupin, dressed as a janitor who looks suspiciously like the old night manager from the hotel started to polish the case, placing one of his own mirrors next to the laser alarm trigger so he could deflect it away from detecting him. In his hand he held a very small pure cut diamond blade wrapped in the rag he ran around the glass in a large circle. Kneeling, he picked up both mirrors dropped by his companions and added them to the three he still had on him and pulled out a professional grade flier advertising the Egg with a life sized picture of it. Setting the paper in the hole he’d created he excused himself as he went round to the other side, polishing the glass with the same diamond rag. People muttered about him but started to move away when it became clear he wasn’t going to let them see the Egg unobstructed any time soon. When the last person left, the janitor quickly set up the other mirrors on that side, making sure that the picture of the Egg could be seen from all angles. Then it was just a matter of reaching in and helping himself as quickly as he could. He held his breath and removed the prize, secreting it in his now empty rag, and just as quickly removed himself to the same men’s room.

Knowing that Zenigata was going to start to scope the place any time now, Lupin changed his clothes and very gently wrapped the Egg in his shedded uniform, then tucked it into a heating duct. He then pulled on a long skirt and a low cut blouse, stuffing it well with toilet paper, and began to carefully apply makeup and a wig.

The announcement came on that the museum would be closing in fifteen minutes, and he strapped his high heels and turned to leave, running into Goemon the Death Rocker in the process. “Excuse me Miss, but I believe you are in the wrong rest room.”

“Says you, don’t you look silly wearing more makeup than I am? Maybe you should take some of that off before someone sees you. Wash your face well, but don’t forget to stay warm or you’ll catch your death.” Lupin’s eyes shifted toward the heating duct as he spoke.

“Thanks for the tip, but I like my face the way it is.” He walked passed Lupin to the heating duct as Lupin joined the crowd in leaving. After hiding the uniform away in his long black coat, he joined the crowd as they left.

~~~~~~~~~~

Seven o’clock came and Zenigata climbed out of the car, annoyed. There had been a request that police not show up until the doors were closed and locked, because they might scare the patrons. Of course it was their property and they could ask whatever they wished, but damn it all, he was just trying to make sure what was theirs remained theirs. If they didn’t want to help it was their own fault. He followed Anton inside and shivered violently, refusing to shed his thick overcoat, in spite of the fact that he wore his trench underneath it. “Idspector Zedi…”

“I know who you are, Inspector Zenigata. You are the paranoid individual who believes that some second rate hack can simply waltz into my museum and take my things.” He motioned for Zenigata to follow him. “You will see that the Egg is safe and he cannot get to it.”

Zenigata smiled softly as he looked into the case. “It is a sight, is’t it?” He sniffled deeply and moved to touch the glass.

“What are you doing?! No one touches the case, not even me. We have a state of the art laser motion sensor set up all around it, you see. If I reach for it, like so, it will go off.” He touched the case, and nothing happened. “What is all this?!” He ran his hand around the silent case until it fell through one of the holes Lupin made while cleaning it. “It… my Egg, she is gone!” He pulled out the flier and screamed. “Find him! Why are you standing there Inspector? Find him!”

“Yes Sir!” Zenigata saluted and sprang into action. “Adtod, you’re with be, he has to be here.” Pulling out his map, he pointed to all the places Lupin and his lackeys would be able to hide. “We will persodally check ad double check all of these places. They ca’t have gode far.”

~~~~~~~~~

It was nearing midnight when Anton brought Zenigata a steaming cup of liquid and touched his shoulder. The inspector had started to fade around ten or so, and now it was all he could do to keep on his feet. “Sir, they are not here or we would have found them by now. Please let me take you home. You’re not well.”

He was stating the obvious at this point, but Zenigata actually nodded slowly. “You’re right. I do’t do’e how you’re right, but you are. Subhow he got away.” He coughed in a wet, congested way and sipped his… whatthehell-ever hot drink it was. “He always gets away. Her-EH-SHHUU! Hek-eh-SHHUU! Heh-heh-hep-EhSHHUU! Her-eh-CHHUU!”

Anton waited for Zenigata to finish before asking him an important question. “Have you eaten today?”

Zenigata frowned, then shook his head. “I do’t thidk so.”

“Very well, you should eat a bowl of soup with me at the station, we have a portable cooking outfit for long nights like this one, and then I will take you back to the hotel, where you will sleep through the night and well into the morning. Then we can start fresh with this Lupin thing. Sound good?”

Zenigata nodded, feeling rather like a sleepwalker at this point, and allowed Anton to take his elbow and steer him toward the waiting, running squad car. When they stopped, Anton opened the door for him and waited until the older man slid in before working off his own coat and draping it over him. “You’re still shivering, Sir.”

Zenigata allowed the gesture, too tired to care and too sick to protest that he didn’t need this. Instead he closed his eyes and drifted off, allowing his companion to take him back to the station for soup, then back to the hotel, as he promised.

When one-thirty rolled around, Anton was following the inspector up to his room and making sure everything was alright before leaving. “I will see you tomorrow morning, Inspector. But not too early.”

Zenigata made a noncommittal, sleepy noise, rolled over on his side, and fell asleep.

Edited November 14, 2013 by DaylightStarr

[SterlingSilver]

GAHHH!!! GAHHHH!! <3 <3 <3

THIS CHAPTER~ The Zenigata feelz too strong TwT! I love how you manage to make him even MORE miserable than he was before~

And I'm absolutely in awe of how well you pull off a heist! It's really creative and well articulated! Fantastic job <3. Writing mysteries isn't easy~

Also:

“We can’t have you sneezing and giving us away, you know.”

Jigen took the packet but glared at him resentfully. “How many times could we have said the same to you over the years? Your nose is like a ticking time bomb with a faulty trigger.”

TEEHEEHEE~ I love how you worked that in <3. It's fantastic >w<~ I squeed~

“You, sir, repel me. Would you kindly go elsewhere?”

This is just a really great quote x'DDDD. I laughed a lot when I read it. Very well written!

AND ONE MORE CHAPTER?! I wait with great excitement >w<~

*floats happily away*

[DaylightStarr]

A/N: To anyone who kept up on this story, thank you SOO much and I hope you enjoy the ending. I really want to thank BlackScatter for her encouragement! I had so much fun writing it and you seemed to really enjoy reading it too! And thank you for being in awe of my heist! I was afraid it came out rather too campy THEN I remembered what fandom I was writing for, lol! This is the same show who decided that you can scare off highly trained security guards with a shadow of a scary cat and a few noise affects, so mine was fine!

It turned into more of a Zenigata fic than a Lupin one, which was soooo not my intention. If I ever write another one, I’ll try to make it just a Lupin and co. fic.

~~~~~~~

"Well guys, here it is, the lost Faberge Egg. It's a sight, isn't it?" Lupin glanced at his partners and tried to seem proud of himself.

Jigen leaned on his knees, the characteristic slump to his shoulders even more pronounced than normal. "I guess it's one of those things that you really can't find words for, ya know?" He glanced over at Goemon, who was sitting cross-legged on an overstuffed chair.

"Yes, however I feel uneasy about it somehow. As if we did not do enough work for this great of a reward."

"I feel the same way." Jigen looked over at Lupin. "But it's whatever you think there, Boss."

Lupin got to his feet and sighed, walking to the window. The sun was only just coming up. "We came away with more than we bargained for, that's for sure. And we saw more of Moscow than any of us ever had. And nothing terrible even happened. I'd say that all in all it's been a more than successful trip, huh guys?"

The pair nodded and Jigen stretched out on the sofa. "So, what you thinking?"

"I think you’re right, we didn't really earn this." Lupin didn’t move from the window, nor did his voice really change too much, yet both Goemon and Jigen knew he was feeling contrite.

"We did not. And while fortune can indeed smile on one, she can just as easily turn on that same person if she feels he is getting too greedy." Goemon opened his eyes to look at the Egg. "Besides which, it would be an unforgivable crime to deprive the world of this lost beauty."

"And we all know who really deserves the credit for putting it back." Lupin returned to the Egg and smiled wistfully, touching it with one gentle finger tip. Then he picked up a pen and paper and started to write a rather long note. After he'd finished he studied the Egg once more. "We've done something that not too many people alive have done anyway. We've actually touched a Faberge Egg. We've looked inside without glass standing between it and us." He stood up straight, holding their prize carefully in his hands before wrapping it well in soft cloths and slipping it into a shoulder bag. "You guys wanna come with me?"

Jigen shook his head. "No way Man, I'm far from one hundred percent myself." As if to prove his point he brought his hand up to his face. "Heh-eh-CHHTT! Hep-eh-CHHTT! Hek-eh-CHHTT! See what I mean?"

"And I would rather meditate, myself. I haven't done as much of that as I'd like." Goemon fixed a glare on Jigen, who was lighting up a cigarette. "None of that. Not while you're still ill."

"So now what, you're my mother?" Jigen asked, not putting the cigarette out. After all he’d been through, he felt that he’d more than earned the right to smoke as much as he pleased.

"How do you expect me to meditate while you make it harder for yourself to breathe on purpose?"

“Maybe I don’t expect you to meditate. Or there’s a perfectly good bedroom, if you’re so inclined.”

Lupin laughed to himself as he closed the door behind him, allowing his friends to argue it out. It was good to know that their romantic relationship hadn't changed their personalities at all. He slipped down the hallway to the stairwell. He hadn't bothered with a disguise this time and there was always a slight chance that someone would know who he was. In fact, there was some danger to what he was doing, but that was a risk he was willing to take. He made his way down to the second floor and tenderly set the bag on the floor while he jimmied the lock with ease. Silently Lupin went into the room and softly set the bag on the bedside table next to the sleeping Zenigata. Then he pulled the note out of his pocket and lifted a limp hand, tucking it underneath it. "Sleep well, Pops, you've earned this." As Lupin turned the door handle he stopped short. {Oh crap...} He barely had time to bring his arm up to his face and bury it into his elbow. "Hep-umph! Heh-umph!" {I swear to god, Jigen, if you got me sick...} Lupin scurried out of the room when Zenigata made a groggy noise and turned over.

~~~~~~~~~~

He wasn't sure what woke him up, but Zenigata groaned and opened his eyes. In his sleep his fingers had instinctively curled around the paper that was stuck in his hand and he frowned, trying to figure out what it was or if he was still dreaming or not. He coughed in a deep, congested way and pushed against his pillows, his head swimming from the fever he'd been denying ever since he'd gotten sick. Now that Lupin had won there was nothing left to do but stay in bed and allow his body to beat him up for abusing it. As he rubbed his eye with his free hand, he looked at the envelope and sighed heavily, recognizing the writing. "Dab it, Lupid, you do't actually have to rub it id right dow. You could just let a poor sick bad die id peace." He opened the envelope more out of morbid curiosity that anything else, and sniffled as he read.

"Hey Pops, so we talked it over and we decided that since we came away with more than we shot for we might as well share the wealth. Consider this a get-well present. You can do whatever you want to do with it. Keep it as the most expensive souvenir ever, sell it for several million and retire in style or do what we know you'll do, give the damn thing back, free of charge. A real waste if you ask me, but I know you too well. You can't tell me that you aren't even the slightest bit tempted by the other choices, though. You know, you were right when you told me the other day that no one really listens to you. If they had, you would have had me at the third museum, so be proud of yourself and rest well knowing that I heard you loud and clear. Anyway, this note's already a little too long so rest up, feel better and come and find me when you do. We'll be waiting, Lupin the Third."

Zenigata frowned and swung his legs over the edge of his bed slowly, his aching, feverish body protesting the movement. He sniffled again and coughed hard, then shivered. "What the hell does he... Her-ISHHH-SHHUU!! Hek-ESHH-SHHHUU! Heh-heh-Heh-ISHHUU! Ouch." He fairly whined the last word, putting his hand on his warm forehead and closing his eyes. When he opened them he turned and saw a cloth bag on his bedside table. "He would't actually... would he?" Zenigata opened the bag and reached inside, not really sure what to expect. His own pair of handcuffs, maybe, or, well… anything but what he took out of there. He drew a sharp breath as he unwrapped the layers until in his hand he held the Egg. Flawless and beautiful, it really was the most tempting thing in the world to just keep blaming it on Lupin and take it home. Of course the temptation lasted all of a half a second before he started to wrap it up again,but only after tracing the delicate scroll work with a fingertip, naturally. Someone just couldn’t have a prize like that in their possession without touching it at least once. He’d take it back to the museum as soon as he was really awake, receive a half hearted word of thanks from the proprietor, and go back home knowing that he still had a job thanks to Lupin, again.

He glanced at the clock and groaned, pulling the covers back over himself. After last night it was too damn early to be awake before nine AM. “Thandks for the get-well prese’t Lupid, but did you really feel like you had to go ad wake be up over it? You do’e, you could always beet be at the statiod add give it to be yourself. Gifts bead bore to a persod that way.” He laughed in a groggy way as he imagined Lupin turning himself in to give back what he stole. Yeah, he was definitely feverish, maybe a little delirious, even. Maybe when he woke up next it would all be a dream. The Egg would still be in the hands of Lupin, he still would have to return to Japan and explain how, once again he managed to not only fail to protect the treasure, but allow that little weasel to slip away and he would still just barely keep his job. He was very close to sleep when his tired mind jerked him out of his doze. “Wait a just a dab bidute, what the hell did he bead ‘he listeded to be the other dight’? He was that… I swear I’m going to arrest that bad and persodally throw away the key! He thi’ks he cad keep baking a fool out of be ad get away with it!” Zenigata reached for the letter and skimmed over it one more time before sighing in a resolved way and pushing it back into his bag. Whatever Lupin’s motives were for talking to him that night, it actually still felt good, if not a little better, knowing that there was at least one person in the world who gave a damn about him. Even if that person was also a sworn enemy.

However when he turned and looked over at his unused pillow, he saw another note lying on top of it. It wasn’t anyone’s writing that he knew, so he opened it curiously. “If you’re reading this before nine in the morning, go back to sleep. If it’s after nine, I’m here and I have coffee. Come down when you’re ready. Anton.” He smiled to himself and closed his eyes. Well, maybe more than one person gave a damn, after all.

End

[SterlingSilver]

Aww, Daylight, thank YOU for writing this! I really enjoyed reading it, and it was my pleasure to keep up with it >w<. The daily updates were a huge perk, haha! I could look forward to another chapter every morning . You've really done a great job with this, and I would read any Lupin fic you ever decided to write in the future >w<. You really know your characters! And you ended it so sweetly too! Lupin, you darling QwQ~

And also, THOSE LUPIN SNEEZES towards the END~! GAH! *arrow to heart* <3 I was so pumped to see them there! Again, great job and I hope to see you in this part of the forum again!

[Graham Cracked]

My apologies for the bump but...THIS story, right here, is one of my main reasons for returning. SO MUCH ZENIGATA UGUU FEELS~!! This is my new favorite forum story, just...FFFFFFF WHERE TO EVEN START?!

I've been in love with this series for almost a year now, and it's just so much fun to read/write/watch/draw/ANYTHING for these guys! AND JIGEN~ I'm not really much of one for JigenXGoemon, but I really like how you wrote for them, they're just so cute in this! And yes, a little bit of adorable Lupin as well~

AND JUST ALL THEM ZENIGATA I CAAAAAN'T!!!

This has inspired me. I'm more than likely going to write one for these fellas myself. THANK YOU for bringing Lupin love to the forum and fueling my passion~ :D :D :D :D