Steele Sneezing (Remington Steele, M) 2/?

[TheCakeIsAlive]

Tma batted her eyelids and there was nothing I could do after that of course. So here I venture into the Remington Steele fandom. I'm currently watching season 4, so their 'current' dynamics might seep through, but timewise I was thinking of the setting as being late season 2 - season 3-ish.

For those who don't know Remington Steele: Laura Holt runs Remington Steele investigations. Nobody will hire a female private detective, so she has made up a decidedly masculine superior. It all goes well, until *he* walks in, with his blue eyes and mysterious past. He quickly assumes Remington Steele's identity and slowly they become closer.

Hope you enjoy!

Steele Sneezing

"Laura, honestly. I have told you, I have told you a thousand times..."

"Mr. Steele, need I remind you that your name on that door does not make you a private detective."

"If a client comes in I need to know what cases I am supposed to be working on, damn it!"

A knock on the door interrupted their argument. "Yes, Mildred?"

"I'm really sorry to interrupt you boss, but this just came in."

Before she could hand it over, Laura snatched it from her hand and browsed through the file. "Mr Steele, I believe we should pay Mr Baker a visit."

Remington gestured at Mildred, an exasperated sweep in the direction of Laura's retreating back. An unspoken 'see? she does this every time' hung in the air between them as he hurried after her.

The door opened with a soft creak and both stumbled in, Laura supporting a drenched, muddy and generally disheveled Mr Steele. "I am sorry Mr Steele, I never thought he would be quite that inventive in his escape routes."

He grimaced and hopped to the sofa. "That's all right Laura. Owww!" He flopped down, blanching slightly as the impact rattled his sore bones.

A moment later, she returned with a pyjama and a dressing gown. "I will make some tea, you should change out of these wet clothes." She carefully closed the door between the living room and the dining room, smiling as she retreated into the kitchen.

A steaming mug in his hands (wondering whether to comment on the crudeness of drinking tea out of such a... vulgar instrument), he finally started to feel warm again.

"Laura, can you now please tell me what is going on? I really prefer to know why I am being shot at, preferably ahhh... ahead of time."

"Okay, Clarksen was after the jewels, but his man double-crossed him in order to sell them to a higher bidder. The higher bidder, in turn, got double-crossed as the man got greedy and tried to sell the jewels all over Europe."

"Okay, but what does this have to do with... haaarrrCHHH! .. excuse be.. with Baker?"

"Well, Baker used to be a partner to the man who stole the jewels. Maybe Clarksen or the as of yet unknown second bidder have found out we may have found a link to the thief."

Mr Steele yawned and discreetly blew his nose into a tissue. "But why would that lead to those men shooting at us?"

Laura paused. "I haven't figured that out yet, but since we've been shot at, we must be close..."

"Hehhh... hahhhRRCHH... AahhrrCHHuh! Excuse me Laura. Would you..." He yawned again. "Would you mind terribly if we continued in the morning?"

She smiled. "Bless you. Of course, you should probably get some rest. Here, lean on me." She extended an arm and made sure he was tucked in bed comfortably. "Goodnight, Mr Steele." A light kiss on the forehead conjured a smile on his lips. "Goodnight Laura."

The door clicked shut right as he sneezed again. "Blasted case, blasted winter weather!" As he looked to the side, he found Miss Holt had supplied his night stand with a thermos of tea, a cup and tissues, which he gratefully unwrapped. It was promising to be a long night.

[tma]

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am SOOOOOOO happy :bounce: :bounce:

I LOVE R.S. - *slightly* I swear that he was my first *huge* TV crush.

and you nailed them- plus...

A steaming mug in his hands (wondering whether to comment on the crudeness of drinking tea out of such a... vulgar instrument),

Just made me grin- I can *totally* picture the look on his face w/ that. lol!

If any more inspiration comes- I am *adoring* this!!

Oh... and btw- thanks SO muchly for writing this :hug:

[TheCakeIsAlive]

@tma: Am really really happy you like it. I hope you like the next bit as well. Have been trying to put it into episode format. And you're absolutely welcome.

Steele a cold, starve a fever

The phone rang, rousing him from sleep. "Remington Steele." He cleared his throat, wincing as the air brushed over the inflamed tissue.

"Yes Laura?"

"No, out of the question."

"Okay, I will see you at the agency in half an hour."

He groaned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and waiting for the world to come into full focus. A shower and a hot cup of tea did little to wash away the cotton wool in his head. Hehhh... hehhaaaRRRCH! Another groan, this time muffled in a silk handkerchief, quickly extracted from his waistcoat pocket. He eyed it suspiciously and threw it in the bin. The stains would be impossible to get out.

He got to the agency before Laura. Mildred had been so kind as to provide him with the newspaper and a hot cup of tea, items which he ensconced himself in his office with.

"Mr Steele? Mr Steele!"

Her voice jostled him awake. "Yes, Miss Holt?"

"Could you please avoid snoring in the office? There has been a client here the past FIFTEEN minutes waiting for you, having the distinct pleasure of hearing you snore, through the door, for that amount of time. How do you think that reflects on this agency?"

He rubbed his forehead, wishing Laura's voice wouldn't have a rather striking resemblance to a bulldozer hitting his skull over and over. He pressed the intercom button. "Send them in please, Miss Krebs." An apologetic smile quenched any further thoughts of yelling Miss Holt might have had. He repositioned himself in the chair, noticing the office wouldn't quite stay put.

"Ah, hello Mr..."

"Johnston. James Johnston."

"Ah, yes, of course Mr Johnston. You have met my associate, Miss Holt? She was just giving me the latest update on your case. Please enlighten us, Miss Holt."

"Mr Johnston, we have visited a former partner of the man you are looking for. Unfortunately, we did not manage to get the information out of him yet, but we are working on it. We were wondering if you had any more details that could speed up the investigation. Any little detail could help us at this point."

"I'm sorry, Miss Hull, but we pay you to come up with the details, don't we Mr Steele?"

He tried to put on his customary reassuring smile but found the corners of his mouth simply wouldn't cooperate fully. "Of course. However, I do have to agree with my associate that any additional information you might be able to provide could considerably speed up the investigations."

Laura's glare lessened, so at least he had said something right. He sighed and tried to ignore how tired he felt.

"So, just to summarise... We were hired by Mr Johnston to find an old pal of his, who happens to have also stolen one of the finer jewels the world has to offer. Excussss... HAAAARCHH! cuse me..." He dabbed at his nose with a clean handkerchief.

"Bless you" Laura offered.

"Thanks. Mr Johnston does not know the name the man currently goes under and the one he gave us leads nowhere as there are no records of any man of the right description under that alias. Mr Baker worked with him but claims he only knew him under that, presumably fake, name. Two potential buyers may be after him, and us, too and exactly how close are we to locating the man?"

She sighed. "Not very. All the leads seem to be dead ends."

He sighed, exasperated. "What now?"

She concentrated for a minute before lighting up and lifting up her index finger. "Let's pay Clarksen a visit. Maybe we can learn more from him."

[Cue to Clarksen's office, around midnight, where Laura is exploring the contents of his filing system, Mr Steele standing watch right behind her.]

"Laura?"

"Shh!"

"Laura, I think this is definitely a bad idea."

"If you keep talking, Mr Steele, the security guard will surely hear us."

"But Laura... hhhhhh... "

"Yes, Mr Steele?"

Any attempt at a reply had to wait as he struggled with the urge to sneeze. "Hhhh... ehhhh..." Noticing his distress, Laura clasped her hand around his nose, just in time for... "EHHTCHHMMNK!" Despite the intervention, the sound still rang in their ears. Worse, it little helped the situation. "Hhhh... ehhh... EEHH!"

Desperate, Laura stomped him on the foot, startling the sneeze into submission. "Quick, I think I hear someone." She turned a corner and hid behind the closest door. Mr Steele limped after her, gnashing his teeth.

A hasty escape later, Remington half-collapsed on Laura's sofa, so light-headed he wasn't quite sure which way was up. "Cheer up Mr Steele, at least we have a new lead."

"Excellent, Laura. Can I die in peace now?"

For the first time that day, she took a good look at him. "Are you all right, Mr Steele?"

"I am dying, Laura." The tone was dramatic with just a hint of a whine.

"A cold never killed anyone, Mr Steele."

"This is dot a cold. I'b sure it's pneumodia, which I dow for a fact has kihhhh.... hhhh... HAAARCHHH! .. has killed." His indignation got somewhat lost in the stuffy quality his voice had assumed.

"Bless you Mr Steele." She smirked. "Maybe you should take a little rest. I'll get Fred to drive you home."

As she turned to ring their chauffeur, he grimaced in disappointment.