VoOs Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 Some months ago I read a quote from the man in my signature that made me pretty angry. Angry, because I knew I would now have to write an RPFic based on it. In the end, I ended up writing some kind of experimental poem instead, because to me, that was less embarrassing somehow? (To Ouroboros, who expressed a wish to see the scenario written out - All I can say is: I'm sorry!)Here's the quote:"He took a year out – working for six months in a perfumier’s to earn the money to allow him to teach English in Tibet. At the perfumier’s, he learnt to prefer “bright citruses – bergamot, vetiver”. Once, with a severe cold, he served Richard E. Grant and watched, with horror, as a drip from his nose “landed right on his Blenheim Bouquet as I giftwrapped it” – the most gently dandy thespian anecdote of 2013." - Caitlin Moran, Interview with Benedict CumberbatchAnd here's the resulting weirdness:Darjeelingthe Himalayasbending forward, gently squeezingthe wide bridge of his nosehe tries to picture ittrecking down a narrow serpentine patheverlasting snow glisteningreflecting the sun far abovehigh, crisp mountain air filling his nostrilsa mental imagethat would be far more motivatinghad he actually been able to recallwhat 'air filling his nostrils' used to feel likea wry, self-ironic smilethat morningskipping work had seemed a non-optionif he is to realize his travel planshe can't afford to feelsorry for himselfcan't afford to missa single hourthe hours ticking by with the sound of falling penniesclink, clinkadding to the pileadding yet another milecan't afford to not -still not one of his brightest decisionsit is getting painfully obviouswith every passing hour (clink)he ought to have remained horizontalas staying vertical becomes a conscious efforthis head now twice as heavyclogged and poundingthe perfumier's fragrance-laden atmosphereoverwhelming at the end of a shifteven on a good daynow threatens to set him offat any unguarded momentprecious fragile perfume bottles resting in his handsa sneeze sneaking up on himas he is rearranging a display shelfyet another barely avoided disasterhis eyes narrowing with the effort(he can't use his shirt sleevehe has no choice but to use his shirt sleeve)tousled head bobbing down, slender shoulders shudderingthe paroxysm containedsqueaking through swollen passagesat least the store is empty of customersfor nowthank god for small favourshow many hours left?(clink)the door bell soundscounter duties, stand at attentiontime to employ those acting skillshe likes to think he possessestime to assume the role of Healthy Service-Minded Clerkall smiles and attentive eyesstoically ignoring the glimpse of his own reflexionin the counter's shining surfacepaleness, redness, dark ringsheavy eyelids, parted lipsnostrils flaring with a burbling sniffleand another, and anotherlocked in a losing battle with gravitylooking up to greet the Customer, findinglight eyes, dark hair, smart coata small jolt of starstruck recognition beforean Oxford blue box ofPenhaligon's Blenheim Bouquet cologneis placed before himan excellent choiceone that his own nose would find very agreeablehad it been in a condition to smell anything at alllavender, amalfi lemon, limemusk, pine and black pe -(black... p-pepper... )"Very good, sir - Would that be all, sir? - Wrapped as a gift? - Certainly, sir"grateful for an excuse to turn his backeven for a secondthe knuckle of a forefinger going to his top liphis nose suddenly crawling with tickleseyes wateringbreath caughtwith little energy left to fight ithe is forced to succumbdirecting a rather undignified "Ha'ffphSHh!" into his shoulderbefore he can turn his attention backto the task at handonly to freeze in horrorrealizing too latehis nose is leaking, dripping from the tipboth his hands occupied, tangled in tape and dark purple wrappingwith no chance to catch it in timethere it falls andthere it issitting on the lid ofthe partly-wrapped box of Blenheim Bouquetone tiny droplet but still one too manythe technical evidence of his wretched coldas if any more proof was neededblushing furiously andmentally kicking himselffor letting it happenfor not bringing tissuesbut mostly for getting out of bed in the first placehe looks around for somethingto use to wipe the boxtoo embarrassed to noticethat his breath is hitching againthe tickle in his nose alive and kickingtwo seconds of fruitless searching andhe is doubled over once moretwice more, thrice moreas he straightens -"You sound like you could use these"there's Richard E Grantoffering him a pack of tissues across the countera sympathetic smile on the actor's facestuttered thanksmumbled apologiesand a(n empty) promise to go home to bed -"Before that cold turns into something nastier"not before his shift is finishednot before his remaining three hours have gone byand gone clink"Good afternoon - Thank you for your purchase!"...Darjeelingthe Himalayascupping his nose, blowing tiredlyhe tries to picture itfar-away voices and smells, his waiting adventurehe only has to get through this dayand he'll be one step closeras well as one anecdote richer"That one time when I accidentally dripped on Richard E Grant's cologne..."(clink) Link to comment
Nebula Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 I absolutely love this! It is beautifully written and the words flow really nicely in the particular structure you've written them in. It's quite unique, I must say. Plus the mental image of Benedict in this situation really is the stuff dreams are made of. Really well done! Link to comment
Spoo Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 This is actually REALLY cool, VoOs. So realistic and beautiful! You would really think that English is your first language, just because you do such gorgeous things with it. Link to comment
MyOwnPrivateSFC Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 I feel about as weird saying I loved this as you sound like you did writing it...but, I have to, because I did (love it). Link to comment
tma Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : This is just so insanely good that I don't even know where to start. The descriptions, the inner thoughts, the absolutely amazing mental pictures that it had in my head.kjdhsafohaerohafkdh!!! :wub: :wub: Link to comment
HoneyBunny Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Wow. This is insanely hot. I'mma need to breathe into a bag now Also, the poem-like structure of this is really cool. I've never read a sneezefic like this before, but it works surprisingly well! Link to comment
squealofapproval Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 OH MY GOD U KILLING ME HERE THAT WAS PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT Link to comment
tma Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Isn't she *insane* - I mean- I seriously think- that is too much perfect BCness and then there is *more*. And then there are drawings of too.... Link to comment
ichixshiro14 Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 I.love.this. Fantastic imagery! Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now