Hypocrisy - (Attack on Titan, M, Levi) - 3/3

[Garnet]

I said I'd piss around with some more characters, and got a request for Levi, so here we go! I'm feeling like this is going to have at least another part, but these things have a habit of getting away from me, so who knows. We'll see what feedback and motivation inspire. The first bit's a little short, I just wanted to get it up before I lost my mojo. Enjoy!

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The induction of new cadets into the Survey Corps always presented a strange dichotomy. They were trained, but green. Fierce, but naive. In the years before the walls had been breached, many graduates had never even seen a titan firsthand. Not a claim that any in the 104th could make. Experience was the best teacher.

Even so, most wouldn't make it back from their first expedition. If they did, it would be wrapped and roped in a sheet. Cruel as it seemed, it wasn't worth the emotional burden of getting too attached.

Levi still took a grim comfort to hear the mess halls full of voices, again, and to see soldiers dotting the yards where recent catastrophic losses had laid them bare. His gaze swept the long trestle table of his squad with sober satisfaction, as a sheepdog is content to see its charges penned safe for the night.

His attention lingered on the peaked boy to his left.

"You said you weren't sick," he reminded Eren, who straightened from his daze with surprise, but looked no less exhausted.

"I'm not," he defended. A pause, and he bleated out a confused and belated honorific, "Sir."

Levi had very nearly denied him access to the mess hall, relenting only at the insistence that it was the regular transformation that drained him so hard. There was something working its way through the ranks that had already left half a score wheezing and sniffling, frustratingly flippant with their germs. Levi was doing his level best to keep it away from his squad, but one man could only do so much.

"Then eat."

Eren colored briefly, looking down at his untouched plate, and tucked obediently into a bite of cooling mashed potato. "Yes, sir."

Appeased, the Captain's gaze glided on. From the far end of the table, Auruo abruptly leaned to one side and sneezed. Levi pulled his mouth into a slight frown. Him, too?

Petra's follow-up blessing seemed to register confused pleasure, as Auruo lagged for a moment over an appropriate response. Finding none, he feigned another sneeze, a third, and then a fourth in succession, although his acting skills were as terrible as his talent with blade and maneuver gear were exquisite. Even Petra gave him a suspicious look.

"That was weird."

"What?" Auruo darted a look away, scoffing. "That always happens."

Petra frowned, both annoyed and amused. "No it doesn't, they didn't even sound the same. Hey, are you copying the Captain again?"

Levi silently contemplated retiring into the Military Police forever.

"Of course not!"

"Hey, hey," Hanji leered, with a coy circling gesture of her fork. "If you want to sound like Levi, you'll need to do that at least another dozen times." She directed a glance at him, expectant. "Right?"

"Eat with your own squad," he returned coolly, and drew a sip off of his tea. Ribbing among soldiers was a long-standing way to blow off steam and reinforce camaraderie, he didn't discourage it unless the jabs became cruel. It did occasionally mean he had to suffer their good-natured teasing, however. He had found that a straight face and an unexciting reaction was the best way to quell the interest, or even intimidate it right out of them.

Hanji was very difficult to intimidate.

"I do everything with my squad, they don't need me to cut their meat or wipe their asses," she dismissed. "Come on, I want to see you break your record. Eren, pass me the pepper."

"Don't even think about it, if you want to keep that hand," Levi cut in tersely. The boy metronomed his gaze between them for a few seconds, before apologetically offering Hanji a shrug and going back to his dinner. First smart thing he'd done all day, Levi mused.

"Spoilsport," Hanji smiled, unfazed, but seemed to lose interest in favor of a different conversation beside her. Across the room, someone else launched into a coughing fit. Levi curled his lip in disdain. Germs. This was a ship destined to sink, no matter how much water he bailed.

And naturally, now he felt a tickle in the back of his nose, ill-timed enough to seem almost mocking. He chose to press his tongue against the backs of his teeth and ignore it.

That worked for all of thirty seconds, until it became obvious that the irritation wasn't going to ebb and fade on its own. Hell, it seemed to be getting worse, threatening to make his eyes water and breath catch. Aiming for discretion, Levi put his head down and switched a thumb and forefinger neatly, quickly over his nose. He hid beneath the shadow of his bangs and massaged both twitching nostrils, crushing their edges up in an effort to chase the itch away.

"Ah, see, there he goes," Hanji remarked thoughtfully, as if she were narrating an unusual wildlife study.

Levi wanted very badly to offer a scathing retort to that. But he also wanted very badly to sneeze. Nose wrinkled, he palmed hastily into a pocket in search of a handkerchief.

"Heh--!" He tucked a fold of cloth beneath his nose, and nodded tightly to one side. "HEKSSH--...shu!"

It was a sneeze disproportionate to his slight, compact frame, an ironic quirk that had always earned its share of amusement from the peanut gallery. The harsh bite of it breaking through his otherwise rigid and impassive control was just salt in the wound.

And yet, Levi could have lived with it, if it were as vigorously efficient as it sounded. However, he could count on one hand the occasions he'd sneezed with enough force to thoroughly scratch an itch in his sinuses. It seemed a lottery he was predisposed to lose. Even now, the calm lasted only a second or two, as if his system had gone into indignant shock, before he felt the pinprickling irritation take hold again.

"HAKSSH--ssshu!" The breathy exhale on the downbeat cracked weakly, to the apparent amusement of those closest. Beneath the handkerchief, he tucked a finger tightly against the tip of his nose in an effort to waylay the rest of it. It was futile, but he would feel remiss if he didn't... if he didn't... "--HAKSSH-shhss!"

"Ugh, what was that, three? Somebody get me my ledger, I need to keep count."

"--HEHK-ssshu!"

Levi paused for a moment, chin tucked down to conceal the irritated sheen of moisture gathered in his eyes. From the far end of the table, Petra furrowed her brows, and tried a tentative, "Bless you, Cap--..."

He sneezed again, with enough conviction that some of the conversations were beginning to quiet, and heads turn in his direction. Some confused, and some quirking grins of pleasure, entertained by the idea of the rigid squad leader losing his shit so harmlessly and disastrously.

He had his limits. They were especially short when he could feel no end in sight. Worse, he couldn't even be sure if it was the emergence of a sudden and ill-timed allergy, the onset of the same cold that had been going around, or simply too much dust and spice in the air. They all tended to feel frustratingly similar, until he either petered out in the absence of the original stimulus, or felt the dreaded tightness at the back of his throat that signaled he was in for the long haul.

"Excuse me," he grit, and rose with the fabric clutched in place and eyes hard. Abandoning his plate, he shouldered away from the mess hall, ignoring Hanji's call of protest as he went.

Edited July 14, 2014 by Garnet

[SterlingSilver]

OH MY GOSH SO THIS IS HAPPENING.THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING <3

This was a ship destined to sink, no matter how much water he bailed.

UGH THIS LINE. SO GOOD <3. SUCH A GOOD ANALOGY~!!

His gaze swept the long trestle table of his squad with sober satisfaction, as a sheepdog is content to see its charges penned safe for the night.

AND THIS ONE! *dotes* <3.. I just love your turn of phrase QwQ.. You convey so much meaning in so few words <3. It's a kind of talent I wish I had >w<~

"Ah, see, there he goes," Hanji remarked thoughtfully, as if she were narrating an unusual wildlife study.

Uwaaaa~! That's adorable x33. I can just hear that kind of tone in my head <3

Also, with Levi's sneezes, I love how he gives the initial rush, then sort of pauses before the end of his sneeze <3. That pause makes it all the more adorable~

Garnet, once again, you don't disappoint. I will stalk this forum for another update, should you grace us with such a gift <3

*floats away happily* <3

Oh, lastly:

Some confused, and some quirking grins of pleasure, entertained by the idea of the rigid squad leader losing his shit so harmlessly and disastrously.

BEST.... SENTENCE... I don't even know why. It's just amazing <3

Edited September 25, 2013 by BlackScatter

[Akahana]

This is so wonderful I don't even have words, but I will try. Levi's sneezes are so AWESOME!!! The way even though it's harsh coming out here's still a little "-shu!!" at the end~ <3 Also, "Some confused, and some quirking grins of pleasure, entertained by the idea of the rigid squad leader losing his shit so harmlessly and disastrously." I CAN'T THIS IS JUST SO FUNNY I LOVE IT!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA XD This whole thing is just amazing thank you so much!! <3

[nolongeractive]

This is a pre-read comment, I will most definitely comment again once I read it, just wanted to scream knowing that you wrote this even. THANK YOU!! I'm truly excited. Here I go.

[nolongeractive]

As usual, your writing totally blew me away. Even before any spice happened I was thrown into the story because you always write the characters so spot-on, yet you're still able to communicate your own creativity and make the story unique.

"Levi was doing his level best to keep it away from his squad, but one man could only do so much."

That was my favorite part - despite his strictness, he still acts like a mother hen. And then his reaction to germs made me laugh out loud. It was seriously great - reread so many times already. You did not disappoint, not even a little! The only thing I was sad about was that it was over. Thank you so much again!

[nolongeractive]

Also I saw you wrote 1/? - if you ever want to make more parts, you know you have one reader right here for certain (and tons more I'm sure too)

[knightinggale]

Definitely looking forward to more of this! :0~

[Galaxy]

Okay I was GOING to leave for school but then I spotted this loveliness, so I can be late for school

Garnet, this is simply lovely, as all those before me said. Just-- GOD. I wanted to leave a well-worded review but I can't because I just want to shriek. EVERYTHING is perfect. Everyone's character is spot on, Hanji being a dork to Levi (their banter is perfect omg), and ahhh omg, serious and stoic Levi having fits of sneezes just

GUH why must you hurt my heart this way

That was thoroughly brilliant as always uvu

[a red nine]

I noticed this story last night, and I was so busy I didn't get a chance to respond until now! About to duck out to class but I knew I had to write something quick.

Gahh. Gahhh. Gah!!! You have some kind of mastery over characters that aren't even your own. Your work is like whole grain toast with homemade butter, only then I look down at the lid and it reads "I Can't Believe It's Not Canon!" I have to agree with my sister, Levi's personality was captured well, especially in the line:

His gaze swept the long trestle table of his squad with sober satisfaction, as a sheepdog is content to see its charges penned safe for the night.

And of course the actual sneezing did not disappoint. At all. No not even a little. I went from about to pass out at 1 a.m. to eyes wide open, scanning every word. When I read something online, I need the words I'm looking at to be at the top of the page - except when I really like the story. Then I keep my current paragraph as low to the bottom as possible, so it looks like there's plenty more and so I don't read ahead too fast and spoil a surprise. Well the latter way is exactly how I read this. Thank you, thank you, thank you, and 1/? ? Hehehe. I didn't catch that at first. If anything, this only made me hungry for more, so if you do write something else... I will be very enthusiastic for it.

[Vongola Undicesimo]

Levi's my favorite guy, and you're one of my favorite writers. Combination? A whole load of sneezy heaven. This was so, just, perfect!

[Natto]

I was excited to see this before I even read it--I've had an inexplicable fascination with Levi ever since he showed up. Your fic did not disappoint. It was so in-character it seemed like it could be a short scene from the show...if ANYBODY other than us is going to focus disproportionately on sneezing, it's going to be Hanji. Your writing style really suited the narrator...it was sort of dry and irritated and mildly pretentious, in a way that suits Levi beautifully. I hope to see more of this story...especially he starts getting that "dreaded tightness at the back of his throat that signaled he was in for the long haul."

[weepy]

OqO

<<< See this?? That's me.

You know, I think that you killed me long ago, but you just made it possible to die in heaven.

OMG YOU ARE AMAZING MY JOY CANNOT BE EXPRESSED!!

So...Incoherentness: bhjslvbvehskeifoeisbamvuenake

[Ciuty80]

AWEEEESOMENEEEEESSSS!!! :drool:

this is wonderful!!

please much much much MORE!!!

[March Hare]

I've always known it, and you just keep proving me right: you are THE. VERY. BEST. writer in this entire crazy playground.

Your words are exquisitely well-chosen, your tone is characteristically dry and witty, but with an appealing undercurrent of passionate exuberance that draws the writer in. Your inspiration seems infinite when it comes to finding original descriptions of everyone's favourite aspects of observation. A balanced pace, a credible sketch of characters that combines minimum effort with maximum effect - or so it seems.

You make writing look easy, yet you're inimitable. You're a master.

[daystar428]

Love Levi and this show in general!!!!! You always have the best taste, Garnet Thanks so much for writing and sharing with us!

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

So cute!

[doggo]

Oh dear, this is too good to be true. I love this character. And I love how you are writing him. Just too damn delicious. Now all I can think of is his nasty little self all stuffy and feverish. . Yes, yes, yes...!

[doggo]

Can I also say that as a woman who has a major "thing" for men who are kinda tiny, this:

It was a sneeze disproportionate to his slight, compact frame

... was just as disproportionately arousing.

[Garnet]

Oh man, did I seriously never reply to all these awesome comments? Ahhh I'm such a jerk. You are all amazing and I read and cherish every one <3

Ahaha pig, "nasty little self" is so appropriate and I am going to use that in the future. My Attack on Titan feels have gone into temporary hibernation, I feel like I might need to brush up on some details before doing more fic, but this one is probably going to be pretty self-indulgent character study fluff, so I should just stop being a butt and finish it.

My roommate's been reblogging some veeery attractive Levi cosplays lately, so :q

[Melody]

OMG YES PLEASE FINISH IT IT'S AMAZING!!!

[SterlingSilver]

There's a possibility of another installment?!

*sobs joyfully* <3

[a red nine]

Thirding the need for this !! I still haven't given up hope that you'd turn back to this, but honestly no pressure, writing is your element

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

Yes yes yes! I fourth this! Please continue.

[Garnet]

Jeez, you guys :| <3 Wish I could get such a good response on all my fics. Here's another little bit, mmmostly (implied) M/F, but the next part will have slightly more explicit M/M. Little somethin' for everyone, but still entirely plotless. Enjoy!

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Levi beat a tactical retreat towards the barracks, shoulders reflex flinching and head dipping every few moments with another frustratingly obnoxious sneeze.

"--HEKSSH--...shu!"

It was like his respiratory system was so overcome with the spasm that it forgot how to process it all and seized up in the middle, leaving only that tiny balloon squeak at the end. Levi hated it, but hated even more his inability to resist the wild, feathering tickle that continued to tremble high in his sinuses, unable to be relieved.

"HAKSSH--ssshh!"

Fortunately, most of the cadets were still in the mess, and he didn't hear the telling staccato footsteps of Hanji pursuing him. He was spared the indignity of any heads poking out from their dorms to pinpoint the source of so much sound and fury.

He put a shoulder to the door of his own quarters, and swept into their privacy before his pace became a stagger. His slight weight collapsed it closed again, shoulders hitching. At the cusp of the next sneeze, he seized a thumb and forefinger over each nostril, wrenching them cruelly shut. It was going to hurt like hell, he knew, but...

"HKT-kh!"

It felt like a bomb detonating inside his own skull. It had the desired effect, however, a hard reset that broke the endless chain of fruitless sneezing. Instead, he clutched the white surrender flag of the handkerchief to his face and miserably worked through the last few.

"Hekh-KSSH!" A beat, uneasily breathing with eyes uprolled. Almost, almost... "--KSSH! ... heh... KSSSH-ih!"

And just like that, the persistent little stimulus was gone. It left the soldier bleary and wrecked in the aftermath, staring straight ahead but seeing nothing. Levi stayed like that for several moments, winded, before slowly coming around with a groggy shake of his head. His sinuses felt thick and sore, but still too tender to risk using the handkerchief as anything but a breakwater dammed to his nose.

Motherfucking hell. Where had that come from?

Although he should have been used to it, Levi could only count himself lucky that his list of allergens was small, and that he caught cold very rarely. Beyond that, a measure of preemptive cleanliness could go a long way. It was certainly better than putting up with this any more frequently than he had to. That required a level of patience that he did not possess.

Levi's quarters were neat and plain, and in the vein of most soldiers, minimalistic in their lack of personal effects. No faded photographs or letters from home tacked lovingly to the walls, nor any keepsakes or trophies. All the better to keep tidy. Recovering slowly, he slouched towards the mirror hung above a similarly organized wash stand -- basin and pitcher positioned with obsessive symmetry. He knew he would regret it, but forced himself to look anyway, taking in his own grim countenance.

He was an unhappy-looking man in the best of times, but the tiny, permanent furrow between his brows deepened at the haggard expression gazing back at him. The ever-present dark circles beneath his eyes looked bruised and wasted, and his pallor was weak even in the dim lighting. He was willing to give himself a pass on the brightly flushed, sensitive state of his nostrils and the faint tracts of moisture underneath, considering the recent fit, but it still didn't bode well. He passed a hand wearily over his face.

His stomach didn't pull towards dinner, and he was certain he didn't want to endure the polite concern of his fellow soldiers just now. The very idea of contracting whatever was going around was so far beyond the pale that it hardly bore consideration.

To hell with it.

Toeing his boots off at the foot of the bed and ignoring the dull ache setting up between his eyes, Levi sludged towards the bed and let himself collapse across it in an uncharacteristic sprawl of defeat. There was very little that a night's rest or a hard drink couldn't cure. Lacking the latter, he committed himself to the restorative properties of sleep.

----

Levi rarely dreamed, and when he did, they weren't pleasant. So it was with both annoyance and relief that he jerked towards consciousness hours later, grimacing at the rhythmic pounding of his own head. Fucking...

No, no. That clamorous ringing wasn't coming from inside his skull, somebody was knocking at his door. Sunset had come and gone, but there was just enough filmy grey twilight left to make out the vague silhouettes of his surroundings. Levi rolled onto his back with a groan. His head felt full of hot tar.

"Piss off," he growled at the knocker. If it wasn't important enough to barge in, he didn't want to hear about it. "I'm busy."

He grimaced to hear how reedy and thin his timbre had gone.

"...Sir?" A timid, female voice from the other side of the door, she sounded hurt. Petra. Dammit. Though she, like the rest of his squad, should be more than accustomed to his crabbiness, Levi was forever surprised to feel a little pang of remorse when he chastised her. Whatever the hell that was about.

He dragged both hands down his face with a sigh, and slowly sat up, not giving half a shit what he looked like. He'd been too exhausted to bother undressing, but he was positive that the creased and wrinkled state of his own uniform would give him a stroke in the morning.

"Come in, then, hurry up."

The door creaked open, permitting a wash of light as his comrade peeked in. Petra held a lantern in one hand and a covered platter in the other. Her eyes were huge and dark with concern. Ugh.

"What's this?" He grunted, already patting himself down for the handkerchief. He wanted to at least make a dent in the congestion that had settled in heavily behind and between his eyes.

"You hardly touched your dinner. Hanji kept it warm for you."

His appetite hadn't cured in the interim since dinner. In fact, the idea of food curdled something in his stomach, and he blanched slightly.

"I'm not hungry."

Petra hesitated, considering her options, weighing her gall. She set the covered plate down on the dresser, where it disrupted the synchronicity of the room so starkly that Levi felt it like a needling in his brain. He grit his teeth.

"You should eat something, though. Whatever's burning through the ranks will catch up with you too, otherwise."

"Bullshit," Levi snorted. "I don't have time to be sick. Go look after the ones who are already down and out."

"Hanji was talking about setting up a quarantine," Petra sighed, casting her gaze around the room. She started towards the edge and foot of the bed, then hesitated to cast her captain a questioning and silent appeal. Levi sighed and moved aside, patting the mattress in invitation. He ignored the flush blooming prettily across her cheeks. "I couldn't tell if she was serious or not. I think she's already started collecting fluid samples from some of the worst cases."

Levi narrowed his eyes, and pretended that the action didn't make his temples tighten with a tiny stab of pain. "What kind of flui-- no, no. Nevermind. I don't want to know."

Petra smiled, and folded her hands over her lap like nervously settling birds. "Then, I shouldn't mention that you look terrible?"

Levi started to reply, but lost his composure on the first breath, as he felt a little matchstick flame of irritation ignite in the back of his sinuses. Nhnnn not now...

"I'm..." The tiny ember caught quicker than he'd expected, and without meaning to, he was already crumpling his features and snatching the back of a wrist to his nose. "HUKSSH--sshh!"

Through the haze of prickling misery, he could sense Petra jolt with reflexive surprise at the splash of sound. His nose crinkled. Unable to find the handkerchief, he switched to a quick tuck into the crook of his arm.

"Heh... HFFSHH!"

"Ble-..." Petra began, in the wavering pause that followed, but caught herself this time. She watched, rapt, as Levi tilted a forefinger under the small and twitching shape of his nose. He pressed hard in an effort to find that pressure point that would short out this whole ridiculous circuit before it...it-- ahhh. His shoulders sagged with relief as the wild shivering of his sinuses abruptly dissipated, leaving his head feeling strange and weakly tingling. That... might be an improvement.

"Bless you, Captain," Petra offered, quietly. He lowered his hand slowly, cautiously, and made a vaguely appreciative noise in his throat. Petra tilted her head at him, guilelessly fascinated with something beyond his perception. "Do you really always sneeze like that?"

The question caught him so off guard that he must have shot her a bewildered look. Petra ducked her gaze away under a wave of self-consciousness, clearing her throat. "Sorry, I... nevermind. Anyway, you don't sound well."

"I'b fide," Levi croaked, or growled, he couldn't be sure which, but both were ruined by the stuffy flatness of his tone. He sizzled with annoyance. Stretching across to the nightstand, he recovered a clean handkerchief at last and crushed himself into the folds of it for a long, liberating blow. He fixed Petra with a little glare afterwards, daring her to comment. She wisely held her tongue.

"I'm sorry for waking you," she said instead, taking in his rumpled appearance and sleep-heavy eyes with a pall of guilt. He pinched a thumb and forefinger over the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes to a dance of static behind his lids.

"It's fine, I had some work to get done anyway."

Petra started to towards a hand for him, but froze before the halfway mark and waylaid the gesture. Levi held his tongue in turn, muddled by a confusing mix of relief and dismay.

"Please don't work too hard. You should get some rest." Levi didn't protest as she rose to her feet. "And eat something, just in case," she insisted. He waved her off.

"Stop fussing, it's just a headache. I've lived through worse." His mouth tightened. Much, much worse.

Under normal circumstances, he might be a little more accommodating, but he could already feel the flicker of another sneeze manifesting in the wings, and he doubted this one would be quelled so easily.

Petra hesitated at the door, a shoulder to its frame as she reclaimed the lantern. She smiled, not so easily rebuffed by his bark nor bite. Which was fortunate -- Levi wasn't in the business of apologizing to anyone.

"I know. You're my Captain, I'm allowed to worry about you, too," she informed him, and poked the very tip of her tongue out at him in admonishment.

Poker-faced, Levi pulled an eyelid down at her in response. "Thank you. Now get out before I sneeze on you."

Grinning now, Petra disappeared from the entrance with a sing-songing goodnight, and took her light with her. Once again cast him into the gloom of the empty chambers, Levi flopped backwards onto the bed and draped an arm over his eyes. He would be fine by morning.

Edited March 3, 2014 by Garnet

[Pyrus_Fangmon]

Oh Em Gee! this was spectacularly adorable! Is there going to be another part to this?