Why, polled, why? (Dolly Parton Allergy fic-request for The American Shepard)

[24Me]

I never heard whether you wanted a cold or allergies, so I just did allergies because they are a little easier for me to write. I hope you like this! XD

Why did those stupid flowers have to bloom? Every year, Dolly sneezed, sniffled, and itched her way through spring, summer, and fall. Right now was the height of her allergy season. The air was dry, allowing the wind to carry pollen everywhere. Ragweed was in bloom. Grass was being cut, including hers this morning.

"Heh...heh...heh...HITCHOO! Hishoo! Hishoo! ASHOO! EtCHOO! RASHOO! Ugh, why?" She sneezed miserably into a ragged tissue, sniffling weakly. That itch..."ASHOO! Rashoo! Huh-SHOO!" At that moment, her phone rang. Burying her nose in her tissue, she stumbled to it.

"Hello? Dolly speakig." It was her friend Jess.

"What up, girl?" Jess squealed. Dolly sighed, and sneezed again before answering.

"RASHOO! HETCGII! ISHOO! Ugh. Polled couds."

"Aw, you don't sound great."

"I feel worse."

"Well, Fred and I are going on vacation, and I'm at your front door with Tibby, so, could you take him?" Dolly groaned inwardly. Tibby was a cat. She was allergic.

"Fide. If I die frob a sdeezig fit, your do blabe." She hung up, and walked to the front door. When it opened, she was assaulted by masses of pollen. Jess watched her friend launch into a fit of sneezes, and felt bad. Is this what would happen if she left Tibby?

Still, she had no choice. But Dolly looked miserable! Her eyes were red and swollen, her nose worse. Stepping inside, she shut the door behind her. Dolly continued to sneeze, each one itchy, harsh, and wrenching.

"ISHII! ASHOO! HASHOOHASHOOATCH! HUHCHIEW! USHOO! HATCHIEW! USHOOSHOOUSHOO! ETCH ETCH HUSHOO!" At last, the fit ended. Dolly's nose surfaced, looking itchy and irritated.

Already, Dolly could feel the effect the dander was having on her. Jess could, too, for Dolly's nostrils were flaring uncontrollably.

"Well, see ya." Jess said, feeling uncomfortable.

"Huh...see...heh...you..." Her friend left quickly. Dolly had to let the cat out. Between the pollen and Tibby, her nose was itching and running like crazy. Before long, her nose seized, she grabbed a tissue, and launched into another fit.

"Hugh...Hugh...HISHIEW! ESHIEW! ITCHIEW! Uh...USHOO! HESHOOO! USHOOO! Oh, by gosh." Standing up, she hurried into her bedroom, where she locked the door before collapsing on her bed in the fetal position, a tissue clamped to her nose, sneezing.

"HISHIEE! USHOO! Uh...HEASHOO! ASHOO! Heh...huh...HUH?!" Her nose tickled, but the sneeze wouldn't come. Each sneeze had been desperate, spraying, and wrenching. She didn't have to wait long before sneezing again.

"ESHIEW! HHHRSHOO! Ixchirw! HUHCHIEW! USHIO! Uhshio. Ushoo. USHOO! Uhh..." She sat up, breathless from her allergy attack, and walked to the bathroom. Her nose was bright red, swollen, and glistened around the edges. Her eyes were bloodshot, red, and puffy. She didn't sleep well, waking up to massive fits.

Splashing her face with cold water helped some swelling go down, but the second she left her room to go eat lunch, she launched into another fit. This one was worse than the last.

As the week went on, Dolly's allergies flared even more than she would have thought possible. No amount of antihistamines or decongestants relieved the itching and running, and she stopped getting any sleep at all. Every moment was spent in swollen misery, her nose in a tissue, seizing and sneezing. Her attacks were prolonged, with twenty minutes of furious, one or two per second, sneezes.

When Jess arrived to pick up her cat, Dolly couldn't even move because of the debilitating fit she was suffering. Jess let herself in, and felt awful the moment she saw her swollen, itchy faced friend.

"IFFCHUH! HUHCHUh! CHOO! SHOOSHOOSHOOSHOO! HUH, HASHOO! USHOO! ITCHIEW! IFFCHUH! UHCHUH! HASHI! HASHIEW!..." It went on and on. Dolly's head and torso snapped forward into her hands with each one, ragged breaths drawn whenever possible. She was so absorbed in the misery she didn't even notice Jess, who felt helpless.

The air in Dolly's house was poisoned by the dander, and the air outside poisoned by the pollen. Jess could have kicked herself. She'd seen Dolly's fits from only minutes of exposure at her house, known how sensitive her friend's nose was, and known how bad her friend's pollen allergies were this time of year. She'd known Dolly's allergies would get worse with prolonged exposure to the cat.

Meanwhile, the famous country star kept sneezing helplessly. Jess rushed over to her friend, rubbing her back.

"I'm sorry, Dolly!" Dolly nodded, unable to respond. At last, the fit halted enough for the star to gasp out a few words.

"Take be to a...a hotel. Please, I deed to get away frob this dab cad! Oh, oh GODSCJIEW! HISHPO!" Jess got Tibby into the carrier, and led Dolly to the car. The pollen sent dolly into worse yet fits, and riding in an enclosed vehicle didn't help.

Jess apologized the whole way to the hotel. Dolly just had one sentence to say.

"Dever brig hib over agaid."

[NoV]

With a singing voice like Dolly's, I bet she could sure belt out the sneezes That is some serious allergic sneezing - thanks for posting