Glee: Blaine's cat-astrophic allergies (pun intended! teehee)

[Watercolor Daydreams]

Okay, so this is my very first sneezefic. My apologies if it's bad or OOC... I'm kind of a newbie :/

Oh! And I'm using a mobile phone so I didn't know how to format the text...sorry if it all looks a little bland. I wanted to use a boldface, but oh well.

This takes place in Season 3.

Enjoy! Hope you like it!

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As soon as Blaine noticed the bag of kitty litter, he knew he was in trouble.

Blaine smacked his head. Why didn't he remember his antihistamines? Of course he knew that Brittany had a cat. She always talked about him.

The innocent Cheerio had invited Blaine over to be on her show, "Fondue for Two", in which they'd be talking about legalizing gay marriage. Being in a relationship with Santana, Brittany no doubt understood the urgency of allowing same-sex marriage in all 50 states. It was an important issue for Blaine, and he thought that more people should be involved in making it legal.

But how could he discuss such an important topic when he'd be in the middle of an allergy fit? Well...maybe Brittany would put Lord Tubbington in another room. He'd told Brittany he was allergic to cats, right? But even if he did, she'd probably forgotten.

"Oh, good, you're here." Brittany appeared at the top of the stairs and led Blaine into her bedroom.

"So, you remember. Tonight we're talking about how important it is for Santana and me and you and Kurt to be able to get married legally. And then we'll debate cat weddings."

"C-cat weddings?" asked Blaine, already feeling his nose start to tickle as he glanced at Brittany's cat, Lord Tubbington, sitting regally on Brittany's bed.

"Yeah. I figured if Santana and i get married, Lord Tubbington should be able to marry another cat legally too, because then if he's a bachelor cat all his life while i've gone off and married, he might get jealous."

"Right, of course," said Blaine, feeling the tickle overwhelm him. Sniffling a bit, the tickle intensified until he could no longer hold it back.

"Heh-ngxt!" He stifled quietly into his elbow.

"Bless you," said Brittany, setting up her video camera and pushing her chair so she was facing Blaine. "Now, the show starts in five seconds. Get ready." Blaine's nose was still tickling, but he rubbed at it hard. His eyes were starting to water. He could almost feel them turning red.

As Brittany's theme song played, Blaine couldn't fight the itch anymore.

"Heh-ishh! ISHH!! ishh! Heh-ngxt!" He sneezed into his elbow, sniffling. The tickle reappeared more forceful. "HEISHH!"

"Hello to all of my loyal fans. Today on "Fondue for Two", i have an important guest with me, Blaine Warbler, to talk about two very important issues..."

Blaine had a feeling this would be a long interview.

Should i continue? Reviews please

[24Me]

*sarcastic voice* hmm, should you continue a cat allergy story...think. Think. Think. *end sarcasm* OH YES PLEASE! Please continue! This is so good!

[tenderwarrior]

Very cute!

[SpookyScarySkeleton]

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes .. Shall I continue typing yes or?. Ill leave it at that just continue I love me some Klaine<3

[Watercolor Daydreams]

Thanks for the reviews, guys! Here's part two!

Oh, also: I will be away until Friday, so I won't be able to update til then.

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"...The most important one is making gay marriage legal. Sorry Lord Tubbington," Brittany murmured softly, shooting her cat a glance before going on.

"So, Blaine. Everybody at McKinley High knows you're dating Kurt."

"Right." Blaine sniffled, cursing in his head. He was trying to will the tickle in his nose away.

"Everybody wants to know: are you planning on marrying him."

"Well, I...excuse me..." Blaine turned away from Brittany, his nostrils flaring and eyes fluttering shut. "Heh-tch! Ghh...hih-tch! Ugh." He let out a breath, the pressure from the stifled sneezes causing his head to pound.

"S-sorry about that, umm..." Blaine could feel his face burning up. He hated sneezing in public. Even though Kurt thought his sneezes were "adorable", Blaine thought they were embarassing.

Clearing his throat and trying to ignore his itchy eyes and nose, he went on.

"I think it's a little too early to think of that. I mean, I love Kurt, don't get me wrong, but we've been dating for barely a year. I mean... i've definitely THOUGHT about it, but it's just...hih...just..." Blaine's breath hitched as he forced himself to finish his sentence before errupting into a small fit: "...just too...early...hehh...HEHTCHOO! Hai-tch! Heh-gnxt! Ngsht! Heh-ish!" He rubbed at his nose. "Sorry."

"What are you willing to do to allow gay marriage in all 50 states?" asked Brittany, completely oblivious to the fact that Blaine was having a full-blown allergy attack.

Rubbing his eyes, Blaine replied, "Adythig, really. I really wadt to bake a differedce for gays aroud the world." Great. Now his voice sounded congested. "Brit...cad I...heh...heh-ngsht!" Blaine sneezed as quietly as he could into his cupped hands. "Cad I just use the bathroom for a secod?" He leaned in close to Britney and spoke in a low voice so the viewers couldn't hear.

"Blaine. I understand that when people need to go people need to go. But this is very important for me and Santana, and for you and Kurt. So try not to think about toilets or running water or drinking stuff. Coach Sylvester taught us that when we need to go to the bathroom during Cheerios practice." Britney turned back to the camera.

"So there you have it. We are willing to do anything to make marriage equality happen. But we can't do it without you..."

"Hehngsht! Heishh!" Blaine sneezed into the collar of his shirt. "Sorry Brit."

"We need your support. So get involved. Right now. That brings us to our next issue, concerning felines around the world. Cat marriage."

Oh, God. Just mentioning cats was making Blaine's breath hitch, the tickle in his nose torturing him. No matter what he did--stare at the light, twitching his nose--the tickle would not come out. Blaine was positive that he looked ridiculous. As if things couldn't get worse, Blaine's nose was starting to run, and sniffling only made the itch worse.

"Heh...huhh...Brit, cad I...hish! Ugh, finally," he muttered. "Cad i have a tissue?" Blaine whispered to her. Britney handed him a Kleenex from her dresser. As he thanked her and blew his nose, Britney asked,

"Blaine, are you sick? Because if you are you should be at home in bed. Watching TV."

"Whad? Do, do... I'b just..hish! Heh-ish! Heh-ngsht! Huhh..." The last one teased him mercilessly, only coming out after Blaine stared at Britney's lamp. "Hetchish!"

"Blaine, you should go home. It's not good to be out when you're sick."

"It's just allergies," Blaine reassured her, relieved at how uncongested his voice now sounded. For once, this statement was true. Britney placed her hand on his forehead, then nodded, turning back to the camera.

"Anyway. Cat marriages should be legal because there are a lot of lonely cats out there, just trying to find a place in the world, and they should be allowed to get married to someone they love and have lots of kids with them. Like in the Disney movies, the dalmatians had, like, 101 kids."

"Actually, they originally had 15..." started Blaine, but Brittany cut him off.

"Lord Tubbington should also have this opportunity." As Britney kept talking, Lord Tubbington hopped onto Blaine's lap, and Blaine groaned, already feeling his nose start to tickle again. Would he survive the interview? He didn't know...

TBC

As usual, reviews please! thanks

Oh, and sorry if I keep changing the spelling of Briney/Brittany (wasn't that the title of a gLee episode?). I'm never sure of how her name is spelled.

[SpookyScarySkeleton]

ADORABLE!!! awesome way to cheer me up c:

Lovely written c:

I just cant get over how cute this is.

YES CONTINUE YES YES YES YES YES YES C:

[JRE111]

Very very good! Continue!

[Watercolor Daydreams]

Here's Part 3! Thanks for the feedback!

Blaine looked wearily at the furry animal stretched across his legs and sighed. It was only a matter of time before the next wave of sneezes would hit him. Closing his eyes, his breath hitched three times before the sneeze finally decided to come out.

"Heh-ngxt! Heh-ngt! Huhh...heh-ishh!" Since Lord Tubbington was also lying down on his arms, he couldn't cover his mouth. He sneezed towards the ground, holding them back as best as he could.

Lord Tubbington finally shifted, and Blaine could finally raise his arm to dab at his streaming nose. Unfortunately, Blaine forgot about the cat hair on his sleeve, which made his nose itch and tickle mercilessly.

"Hehh...heh...ISH! Ishh! Ishhaa! Itchew! Heh...heh-ngsht! Ngsht! Ngxtt!" The forces from the sneezes caused Lord Tubbington to jump, sinking his claws into Blaine's legs before dashing off to Brittany's side.

Blaine let out a cry of pain, before his breath hitched again. Knowing he couldn't bring his cat hair-coated sleeve to his face, he tried to stifle them towards his chest.

"Hehisht! Ngshht! Heptsht! Heh...hish!" Blaine sniffled, his eyes now starting to tear up.

"...and now, we have another very special guest coming on tonight. Please welcome Blaine Warbler's boyfriend, Kurt!"

Kurt?! Blaine jumped as Brittany's closet door opened, with Kurt coming out.

"Surprise!" he exclaimed, making his way towards a stunned Blaine and kissing him on the cheek.

"Wait...you were id there the whole tibe?"

"Yeah. We wanted to surprise you," said Brittany.

"Did't you tell Brit that I'b allergic to cats? Did't hear be sdee--heh...hehish! *sniffle* sdeezig by head off?"

"Well...you know that I've always thought your sneezes were cute...must've left that part out."

Blaine ran up to Kurt and tackled him on Brittany's bed. At first angry, after seeing the sheepish look on Kurt's face Blaine started laughing. Before long, the two boys were laughing and wrestling on the bed. Brittany turned to the camera.

"So there you have it. That's why gay marriage should be legal: because gay couples are just like any other couple, and they love each other just the same."

In response, Lord Tubbington meowed.

The end.

Sorry about that ending...wasn't terrific... :/ Still hope you liked the story though! Thanks for the reviews. :)l

[SpookyScarySkeleton]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwe this made me smile. Sheepish ( fetishy ??? ) Kurt c: Huehue. It's well written. Please do write more Klaine fics from time to time (: thanks.

[Lilyofthevalley]

I love the sneezy talk!

[Chiller, a sneezy skeleton]

I think gay marriage is fine