Allergies and Kharma (Dharma & Greg request for Chanel_no5)

[Sneeze999]

Ok, this is a Dharma & Greg request from Chanel_no5, I have never watched the show so I did my best interpretation of the characters...I don't own the characters, just the story! So I hope you guys and Chanel like it!

Oh! Chanel, note the title.....see what I did there!!!!!! lol

Allergies with Kharma

Dharma kissed Greg goodbye as he was leaving,

“Goodbye Greg, enjoy your little boy's weekend, be sure to take some pictures for me to laugh at when you get home.”

Dharma smiled at Greg as he turned to her,

“Well......just.....'try' and get on with mom.”

Greg waved at his mother, Kitty, who was having to stay with them for a couple of weeks while the plumbing at her place was being fixed, she would have preffered a posh hotel, but Dharma had insisted she stay with them and, surprisingly, she had accepted, albeit reluctantly. Greg was extremely surprised by this, until he found out that all of Kitty's avourite hotels had been fully booked for the next month. Dharma smiled her typical smile at Greg,

“We'll get along fine, like a house on fire!”

“That's what Im afraid of..........ok, I better go, goodbye darling, GOODBYE MOTHER!”

Greg kissed Dharma and gave a last wave to his mother, then closed the door, got in his car, and drove away.

Kitty took one of the cucumbers from her eye and looked at Dharma in the doorway, it was bad enough that all her favourite hotels had been booked up, now she had to spend an entire weekend, alone, with Dharma! She wasn't sure she could maintain her composure for that long, but she swore that she would try, she was part of the upper-classes and she would maintain that air of dignity. She put the cucumber back on her eye and sighed, she was wearing a face-pack and had her designer bath-robe and slippers on, she sniffed, lightly, cleared her throat and tried to relax.

Dharma walked into the Garden, where Kitty was, and looked at her mother-in-law for a moment, she almost burst into laughter, she looked so funny with that face-pack on! But Dharma knew that if she did laugh it would only start another argument, so she walked towards the washing-line to remove the clothes hanging out, she got a whiff of the face-pack that Kitty was wearing and, suddenly, felt an overpowering urge to sneeze, her nostrils flared and her eyelids fluttered, her head reared back and she let out one of her trademark, un-ladylike sneezes,

“huh....HUH.....HAAARRRSHOOOO!!!”

This was followed by 2 more sneezes,

“HUUURRRASSHOOOOO!!!....HEH...HEEEESHHHHOOOOO!!”

“Bless you darling, but perhaps you had better keep those......'sneezes' away from me, I’d rather not catch whatever you have.”

“It's not a cold, Kitty, it's that face-pack of yours! It smells so st...so str......HUH.....HUURRRRASHHOOOOO!!! Strong!”

“Nonsense! This face-pack is the best you can get! It certainly wouldn't cause sneezes like 'those' anyway.”

Dharma rubbed her nostrils with her finger, and got the clothes off the line, just as she reached the door to the house. She stopped, her head tilted back and she reached her hand up to her face to rub her nose, but it did nothing, the sneeze came anyway,

“HUH......HUUUUH.......HUUUURRRRRAAAAASHHHOOOOOOOO!!!”

This sneeze bent Dharma forward at the waist as she stumbled into the house, Kitty called out to her,

“Bless you darling!”

Kitty chuckled at the memory of Dharma making such a fool of herself, this was more proof that she wasn't good enough for her Greg, a lady should sneeze properly and politely, if at all. Kitty sniffed again and relaxed. But then she felt a tickle build in her nose, she sniffed again, hoping to get rid of it, but it didn't, it only grew stronger, building slowly, Kitty reached up a hand to rub her nose, making sure that Dharma wasn't around to see her, but this didn't seem to help either, the tickle was growing and Kitty knew that she would sneeze soon, so she took the cucumbers from her eyes and started looking for her handkerchief, as he nose twitched and her nostrils began to flare, slightly, but then she realized that her Bath-robe had no pockets! She didn't have her hanky with her, she concluded that she must have left it on the dresser in her room when she went to put on the face-pack, but the tickle was growing, she took a hitching breath, then clamped her jaw shut.

“No! I shall not sneeze!”

Kitty said to herself, not wanting to give in to the same weakness that her supposed daughter-in-law had given in to not 5 minutes before, she gently rubbed her finger under her nose, this still didn't help and the sneeze grew closer and closer, Kitty cupped her hands, ready to catch the coming sneeze as a lady should, unlike Dharma, who let her sneezes run wild, Kitty nostrils flared again, she took another shaky breath....then another, until, the sneeze finally came.

“ehh.....ehhh.....ISHHOOO!!.....ehhhh.....EEIIISHOOOO!! EEEIIISHOOOOO!!!!”

For some reason, she just couldn't stop sneezing, the tickle remained, constantly, like a million feathers had invaded her sinuses and made it their personal mission to torture her into sneezy agony, she didn't even notice Dharma, who sneezed as she came back outside.

“Whats goinnnnnahhhhh....AAAAASHOOOOO!!! Going on? sniff”

Kitty couldn't answer, the tickling in her nose was just too intense, it was so bad that she didn't even care that she was loosing control in front of Dharma, all she wanted to do was to sneeze out whatever irritant was causing this most humiliating of displays.

“IIISHOOOO!!!.....EEEEIIIIISHOOOOO!!!...EH....EHHH....EEEESHOOOO!!! AAAASHOOO!!!......IIISHOOO!!!.....IISHOOOO!!!”

Dharma walked up to Kitty and grabbed her shoulders,

“Come on Kitty, lets geh...heh....HHHEEESHOOO!!!.....Get that fa....fa......FAASHOOO!!! Face-pack off, before we both sne....sneee.....SNEEEESHOOOOOO!!! Sneeze the house down!”

Dharma led Kitty up the stairs towards the bathroom, both women sneezing in unison, but Dharma couldn't help but find this amusing, Kitty was allergic to her face-pack, just like Dharma, it was something they had in common, Kitty won't like this one bit, both women continued to sneeze, Kitty more than Dharma, she seemed to be more allergic to the face-pack than Dharma was, yet another thing Kitty would despise,

“ehh....ehhh.....EEESHOOOO!!! IIISHOOOO!!! IISHOOO!!!....ahhh...ahhhhh...AAACHOOOOOO!!!.....EEEECHHHAAAA!!!.....EEEEECHOOOOOOO!!!!!”

“HUCHOO!.......sniff........sniff sniffffff.......huh......HUUCHOOO!!.........”

Finally, they reached the bathroom and Dharma splashed water onto Kitty's face, her own sneezes seeming to have stopped for a moment, but not Kitty's,

“IIIISHOOOO!!! HAAAASHOOO!! HAAASHOOOO!!! HAAARRRRRSHOOOOOO!!!!”

Her sneezes were becoming stronger and harsher, more like Dharma's rather large sneezes. Kitty managed to think about how horrified she was at how she seemed to have been beaten down by a mere face-pack of all things! But as the face-pack was washed from her face, her sneezing began to die down,

“EEEEESHHHHOOOOOO!!! IIISHOOOO!!!....iishooo!!.....uuushiioooo!!!....iishooo!!.....snifff.....snifff”

Kitty sniffed, the tickle was still there, but nowhere near as bad as before, she was suddenly overcome with embarrassment, her cheeks flushed and she grabbed the cloth that Dharma had been using.

“Give me that!”

She then began to wash her face herself

“Well, I guess you won't be using THAT face-pack any-more! Too bad there wasn't a camera around, this would have been something to laugh at later!”

“This was in no way funny!Maybe it would be to the lower-classes, but not to people such as myself! Sniffff”

Kitty tilted her head back in her most snooty look.

“Besides, it was probably the cheap washing powder you, undoubtedly, use on your clothing that did this, NOT my face-pack.”

“Then how do you explain why it stopped when we washed it off your face, and not when I took the clothes in?”

Kitty grit her teeth.

“I don't need to explain anything! I'm right, and your wrong!”

Kitty grabbed the bag that the face-pack cream came from.

“See!”

Then Kitty took a deep inhaling breath, smelling the cream, suddenly, the tickle returned, building slowly again, Kitty's eye's widened as her nostrils flared slightly and she took a little sniff, trying to hold on to what shred of dignity she had left.

“Su....sniff.....see!.....snifff....no sne....snifff.....sneezes!....snifff sniffffffff”

Kitty continued to try and sniff away the tickle, but like before, it just kept building, she refused to rub her nose and show weakness to Dharma, who was standing there with a smirk on her face.

“What are you...sniff....smirking at yu....you......you.......huh......ehhh”

The hitching breaths began again, she ran a finger under her slender nostrils as her eye-lids fluttered shut, again, Kitty resigned herself to the inevitable, her finger slowly rubbing under her nose and her nostrils flaring more and more with each passing moment, she knew that she should just get it over with and sneeze, but the Matriarch in her refused to give her body the satisfaction of doing something without her permission, she was still holding the sneeze back......but then, she reached the point of no return, and it happened.

“huh.....ehhhh.....ehhhhhh......EHHHHHH.......EEESHOOOO!! IIISHOOOO!!! HAARRSHOOO!!! IISHOOO!! IIISHOOOO!! IIIISHOOO!!!!”

Dharma stood there chuckling at the scene before her, this was total karma for Kitty! And this would be a great story to tell Greg when he gets back.....if she's still alive when he gets back, she thought idly, Kitty would murder her for seeing her in this state, but just then Dharma also felt a tickle in her nose too, and her sneeze grew quicker than Kitty's as he eye's fluttered and her nostrils flared, she reared back and...

“HUUUUUUURRRRRRRAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!..........snifff”

The End

Edited August 9, 2013 by Sneeze999

[Chanel_no5]

This plot actually could have been on the show! Such perfect kharma display. It's awesome, thank you!!!!

I'll get to work on your story as well, but I might need a couple of days at least. Hope that's alright. Thanks again!!

[LovelyLinda]

Oh! Somebody has already written a story =D

Wow, I'm sooo late. Again.

It's wonderfully written, Sneeze999, thank you )

It was a good read, I loved Dharma's unladylike sneezes!

[Sneeze999]

Thanks LovelyLinda!