A Very Sneezy German Christmas

[lillian]

“Get up Gilbert! Grandfather’s about to leave you!” Ludwig called down the stairs. Gilbert rolled over. The light flickered on, bright and white. Before Gilbert could dive under the covers, his eyes began watering. “Eh… ehhhktchou!” He swiped a pajama sleeve across his nose. He’d been a little sniffly last night, while they were packing, but he had chalked it up to all the dust floating around. When you only go to Germany once a year, your suitcase gets a little dusty.

“Gesundheit. Come on, everything’s in the car. We’re going to leave you!” Ludwig was at the foot of the basement stairs, showered, dressed and slightly pissed off. He was standing next to the light switch like the almighty demon of daylight and productivity.

“Coming… coming…” Gilbert groaned, rolling out of bed. Once he stood up, he felt the reality that was his stuffed up nose. “Ughhhh.” He ran his hands over his face and through his white hair, making it stand on end. “Gimme five midutes, bro,” he said, going into the bathroom.

He turned the shower on, and brushed his teeth while the water warmed up. Through he door, he could see Ludwig leaning against the wall in his room, occasionally checking his watch. Gilbert swore he could hear his foot tapping. Not particularly caring that the door was open, Gilbert pulled his shirt off. He teasingly flexed at the mirror.

Ludwig was not amused. “Hurry up,” he snapped, glaring at his older brother. Gilbert’s grin vanished, his shoulders tensing up as his eyes fluttered closed and his mouth dropped open. He stood this way for a moment, his hitching breath visible in the rapid rise and fall of his chest. “Ah… haah… ahhh… apshtuuh! Heh… HESHhh!.” Gilbert sneezed in the direction of his elbow, but didn’t quite make it. “Ughn…”

“Gesundheit.” Ludwig said, crossing his arms.

“Thagks. It’s all the dust frob pacgi’g.” Gilbert replied, dropping his pants and getting in the shower.

“It’s still affecting you? That’s weird.” Ludwig said. Gilbert grinned at the note of concern in his voice. The hot water helped the headache he was beginning to get, and he sighed in relief as he felt the congestion melting away. He scrubbed any trace of dust off himself, and got out of the shower to find Ludwig’s annoying presence replaced with a neat stack of clothes. He got dressed and jogged up the stairs, ready to go to Germany.

“aggchngxt!” Gilbert pinched his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “heh… h’eshnkk!” His shoulders shook with the force of the stifled sneezes. He was sitting in the airport gate chair. He had his headphones in, and was trying hard not to think about the eight sneezes he’d let out since he got in the car to ride to the airport. All the stifling was making him dizzy. Under the watchful eye of Ludwig and Grandfather, he was fighting them with all he had. It’s not a cold, he thought, I can’t be catching a cold on the way to Berlin for Christmas. No way am I going to be cooped up inside when I could be going to parties with my older cousins and building snowmen with my younger ones. This isn’t happening.

Ludwig woke up and stretched. He looked over his brother’s sleeping form to see the sun setting in a wildfire of orange and red. The light came through the partially drawn shade of the window and lit up Gilbert’s face. His features was relaxed, his mouth slightly open. The entire day, he’d looked tense, like he was concentrating on something. Ludwig didn’t know what it was, but it worried him a little.

Gilbert snorted in his sleep and then resumed the soft snoring that Ludwig hadn’t noticed before. Then it hit him. Gilbert sneezing when he came down to wake him up, his stuffed-up voice the night before when they were packing, and a few badly stifled sneezes in the car ride to the airport. Gilbert was coming down with something.

Ludwig brushed Gilbert’s snowy hair back to feel his forehead. It wasn’t too warm, so maybe he shouldn’t worry… Gilbert’s immune system could fight off this little bug.

When they finally pulled into the driveway of their aunt’s house, the night was black and cold. Gilbert shivered as he got out of the car. Snow lay thick on the lawns, sparkling in the glow of the Christmas lights in the quiet Berlin suburb. Suddenly, the door of the house burst open with a flood of warm yellow light. Gilbert was caught up in a hug from his cousin Wilhelm, who was his age. His other cousins Tobias and Mark were a little bit older, and naturally thought themselves superior. Nevertheless, they crushed Gilbert in hugs. The baby of their group, Ludwig, was also embraced, and teased about how he was almost taller than them, and where did all those muscles come from? Was he compensating for something?

Wilhelm, Mark and Tobias greeted Mr. Beilschmidt more respectfully, shaking his hand before hugging briefly.

Gilbert turned away, pinching his nose between his index finger and thumb. “Ehh- nnkk! Uhh… hggxt!”

“ ’zundheit, Snowflake.” Tobias said with a grin, clapping him on the back. Gilbert blushed furiously. ‘Snowflake’ was the annoying nickname his German family had called him by ever since he could remember.

“Bless you, Gilbert!” His aunt called from the doorway. “Why don’t you guys come inside? It’s cold out there and your uncle and I want to hug you too!”

Once inside, the Beilschmidts were relieved of their coats and ushered into the living room in front of a roaring fire. While his cousins talked about all they had planned for the next two weeks, Gilbert discreetly rubbed his nose to try and stop its infernal itching.

“So I was thinking, since little Luddy’s sixteen now, we could take him with us to the club!” Tobias was saying, his dark eyes shining with excitement. Mark, age nineteen and a classic case of Middle Child Syndrome, nodded in agreement, opening his mouth to add to the statement. Tobias interrupted him, “If that’s alright with you, Grandfather.”

“He may go, just keep an eye on him,” Mr. Beilschmidt said.

“They’d be too afraid to cross him!” Wilhelm exclaimed, flipping his wheat colored hair out of his light brown eyes. The youngest of his brothers, he’d learned to be loud enough to be heard over Tobias, who was twenty-two, darkly handsome, and a little overpowering. Gilbert nudged Wilhelm, who was seated in the floor in front of the chair he was curled up in, with a sock-covered foot.

“We just have to keep him away from any Italians. He melts at the sight of them and will do anything they say,” Gilbert said, a grin lighting up his face.

“That’s not true!” Ludwig said, blushing. Tobias grinned and began peppering him with questions while Mark looked on, eagerly waiting for a place to butt in.

Wilhelm noticed that Gilbert had gone quiet. He and his cousin were like twins, so in tune with each other that it was slightly frightening.

Gilbert’s white head ducked suddenly. “pshhnngxxt! Eh… ehnkk! Heh’ngxxt!” Wilhelm looked up at the flurry of quiet sneezes. “You O.K?” he asked softly, sensing that Gil was trying not to draw attention to himself for once. Gilbert uncurled himself, rubbing at his watery eyes. He nodded, wiping his nose on his hoodie sleeve.

When they finally got to bed, Gilbert was out like a light. He was on a mattress on the floor, while Wilhelm slept on the pullout couch. Tobias slept in his own bed. At least, it had been his before he moved out for University. He was only back for Christmas. Ludwig and Mark slept in the bunk beds in his and Wilhelm’s room.

Tobias sat up, frowning. “Hey, Wil, Gilbert is snoring,” he said softly.

Wilhelm rolled over to glance at his sleeping cousin. “Ja, he is,” he replied.

“He doesn’t snore.”

Wilhelm sighed. “I know.”

Tobias crawled to the edge of the bed, looked out over the couch, and studied his little cousin. Gilbert’s nose looked a bit pink, and his mouth was open, like he couldn’t breathe out of his nose. He usually got hot and kicked the covers off, but tonight they were pulled up halfway over his head.

“I think he’s sick. He looks kinda sick,” Tobias said. Wilhelm propped himself up on an elbow. He didn’t want to betray Gilbert. If he was trying to hide something, he was going to respect that. Gilbert usually tried to make them laugh with his huge exaggerated sneezes. If he was stifling, then he was certainly not asking for their attention.

“C’mon Wil, you know him better than anyone, what’s wrong with ‘im?” Tobias whined.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“Ohhh you’re protecting him. I see. Well he’s gonna get worse if we let him keep this up. I’m telling Mutti tomorrow,” Tobias said, getting back under the covers.

“Toby…” Wilhelm began, but Tobias cut him off.

“Goodnight Wil.”

[Dye]

*squints*

did u just

u

u did

gERMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS @O@

[hails]

Ohgodblessyoursoul.

*squee forever* Please please more!!!

[Nebula]

Oh sweet baby Jesus this fic is absolutely perfect *-*

*joins in with Daisoku* amkdicjekdkf germans

Please continue!

[Flufferdust]

CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE!!! :3 THIS IS SO PRECIOUSSS~

[SpookyScarySkeleton]

Continue

[lillian]

Gilly gets sneezier!

“Hey Gilbert!”

Gilbert blinked his eyes open slowly. Wilhelm’s golden hair and caramel eyes came into focus above him.

“Morning, Snowflake!” Tobias called from the bathroom.

“Oh, hey guys…” Gilbert said, sitting up. “What time is it?” He squinted in the light that filled the room.

“It’s about two,” Wilhelm said.

“TWO?! In the afternoon?!” Gilbert repeated, eyes widening.

“We let you sleep in,” Wilhelm explained. “Jet lag and all.”

Gilbert nodded, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

He walked into the kitchen with Wilhelm, and was greeted by the sight of sausages sizzling on the stove.

“Breakfast for lunch,” his aunt said with a grin.

“Awe… ehhhpchhou!” The sneeze came out of nowhere, startling him as well as everyone else in the room. “h’nnk! gxxtk!” He was able to stifle the next two, but the damage had been done.

“Gesundheit!” Wilhelm said.

“Dadke,” he replied stuffily. His aunt just looked at him, a look very similar to one Ludwig had been giving him recently. Gilbert glanced over at the table. Yep. Ludwig was gazing in his direction, blue eyes narrowed and a small frown drawing down the corners of his mouth.

There were ways he could have stopped the parental whirlwinds beginning to stir the air. He could have laughed it off and asked if they had gotten a cat. But he didn’t. Instead, Gilbert did the worst possible thing he could have done. He sneezed again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

“Hetshhoou! EKSCHHhh!! Huhshhhguh! Hepshhhhh!” He raised his face from his cupped hands and looked sheepishly around the room. Wilhelm, Ludwig, Grandfather, and his aunt were quiet.

“Gesundheit!!” Tobias said from behind him, breaking the silence. “Looks like I don’t have to tell you, Mutti. Gilbert’s got a bad cold.”

“Ih’kshou! Heshhhhoo! ATSCHH!” Gilbert sneezed into his cupped hands, keeping one over his runny nose as he reached for a tissue. Wilhelm, perched on the end of the bed, winced.

“That’s gross, man,” he said. Gilbert blew his nose, cringing a little himself at the sound.

“I doe.” He sniffled, blowing again into a fresh one.

“Well you’ve been abusing your sinuses for the past two days now,” Ludwig said from the doorway. “All that stifling. It’s really not good for you.”

“Just shut up. No one likes a smartass,” Gilbert snapped. Ludwig frowned, hurt. Before he could say anything, a little girl with blonde hair shot between his legs.

“Gil!” she shrieked, jumping onto the bed and hugging Gilbert as tightly as she could. Gilbert hugged her back, ruffling her hair.

“ ‘Sup kiddo?” he asked, grinning.

“Why are you in bed?” she asked, big blue eyes gazing up into his red ones. Alice was her name, and she was Gilbert’s other aunt’s daughter.

“Uhh… I’m a little sick,” Gilbert said. “Oh shit! You probably shouldn’t be this close to me.” He hurriedly pushed her back a little by her shoulders. “I don’t want you to catch my cold.”

“You’re sick?” Alice repeated, ignoring his protests and reaching up to put a hand on his forehead. “But it’s Christmas! You can’t be sick for Christmas!” Alice’s lip quivered. “We were gonna play outside and then open presents tomorrow night when it’s Christmas Eve!”

“Sc-scoot… huhh… b-back kiddo I’mma….h-hehhh…” Wilhelm realized what was happening and grabbed Alice off Gilbert’s lap just in time.

“Huh’enshhhhou! Etshhhhoo! l’kshhh! ‘TSCHH!!” He managed to catch these in his elbow, safely away from the six-year-old child trying to crawl back onto his lap.

“Gesundheit,” Ludwig said.

“T-thagks.” Another sneeze was building in Gilbert’s sinuses. His breath hitched rapidly. “Hah…heh…. Heh…heh’ahhhh…” but nothing came. The sneeze faded, leaving just enough tickle behind to piss him off.

“I know how to make you better!” Alice said, grinning. Gilbert sniffled miserably, rubbing his nose.

“How’s thad?” he asked, cursing his runny nose. If he could just blow it… maybe that would make the burning go away.

“I can get my doctor’s set, it was an early present, and I can operate…” The burning got stronger. He sniffled again because his nose was way too full of snot and he really didn’t want to get it all over the kid. Why aren’t Lud and Wil doing anything? I’m gonna give her the plague! he thought angrily. He glared at them, but they were both looking at Alice, Ludwig smiling and Wilhelm trying hard not to burst out laughing.

Alice poked him in the chest. “Are you listening to me?” she demanded.

“I’b sorry, by dose really really ticgles ad’d id’s hard do codced’drade…”

“What?”

“Let him blow his nose, then I’ll let you get him some medicine, alright?” Ludwig said, bending over and scooping her into his arms. Wilhelm handed Gilbert a tissue and he blew wetly. It prompted a sharp tickle in his nose, and Gilbert turned away, abandoning the tissue in favor of the crook of his arm.

“etch!” The sneeze was soft and tickly. It did nothing to alleviate his need to sneeze, and it made a mess, too. “Well thad was a useless cudt of a sdeeze…” Gilbert muttered, dropping his arm and trying to blow his nose again.

“How do you say ‘gesundheit’ in English?” Alice asked softly, watching Gilbert from Ludwig’s arms.

“It’s ‘bless you’,” replied Ludwig. Ludwig was on a mission to teach his cousins English, much to the delight of their parents, and the little ones were always asking how to say things.

“Bless you, Gilbert!”

“Thank you! That’s English for ‘danke,’” Gilbert said.

“’Gesundheit’ literally means ‘good health’,” Ludwig began, but Alice had stopped listening.

“Luddy we gotta go get my doctor’s kit okay?”

Ludwig stopped mid-lecture and looked down at her. “Okay,” he sighed.

When they returned, Alice with her doctor’s kit and Ludwig with some cold meds, Gilbert was sneezing wetly into his cupped hands.

“…shhhhhhuh! Hap’shchhhh! Heh’shhgg! Gxxh’schh!”

“Wow. Gesundheit! Zufriedenheit! Reichtum! Schönheit! That was like seven in a row!” Wilhelm exclaimed. Gilbert finished blowing his nose and sniffled roughly, blinking tears from his eyes.

“Schönheit? What the hell? ‘Beauty?’ Haven’t heard that one before,” Gilbert said.

Alice got back on the bed and sat Indian-style in front of her patient.

“Alice, I have to give Gilbert his medicine first,” Ludwig said. Alice pouted.

“But I’ve gotta do the surgery or he’s gonna die!” she cried.

“Yeah bro, I’m gonna die!” Gilbert said with a sniffle.

“Fine, fine. I’ll wait until the surgery’s over,” Ludwig said, sitting on the bed next to Wilhelm.

“Good man,” said Gilbert. “So, what do you need me to do?” he asked.

“You don’t need to do anything, just sit and be a good patient, okay?” Alice said, digging through her little plastic box.

“Eheh… hetschhou! Ah…” Gilbert paused, waiting. He pinched his nose between his index finger and thumb as Alice poked his chest.

“That’s the problem, right there. Your chest moves really fast when you’re about to sneeze, so that tells me it’s a heart problem. Cuz that,” she poked his chest again, “is where your heart is.” Alice looked up at Gilbert earnestly.

“Actually,” Ludwig began.

“Don’t start,” Wilhelm said, scooting up next to Alice. “Can I be your helper? All doctors need someone to hand them their instruments.”

“You may help me,” Alice said with a snobbish air. “You too, Ludwig. You’re my assistants. Ludwig does the research cuz he’s smart. Wilhelm hands me stuff.”

“Hey, I’m smart too!” Wilhelm protested, and Ludwig laughed.

“Ah’shkkoo! Ehtschhh! Huh… eshhhooo! Hep’shhuh!”

“Gesundheit.”

“Zufriedenheit.”

“Reichtum.”

“Schönheit.”

Gilbert looked at his brother incredulously. “You knew this weird blessing thing too, Ludwig?” he asked.

“I make a point to know my own language,” Ludwig said, glancing up at Gilbert. “When someone sneezes more than once, you add on another blessing after each time. ‘Health,’ ‘contentment,’ ‘riches,’ and ‘beauty.’ Grandfather just never blessed us more than once.”

“What do you say after the fifth sneeze?” Gilbert asked, wiping his nose.

Wilhelm grinned. “ ‘Damn’ ,” he said, “is the proper response to that.”

“Well that’ll come in handy. Ludwig can get pretty sneezy,” Gilbert said, socking his brother lightly on the shoulder.

“I dunno about that. I’ve only heard Ludwig get up to six. You, on the other hand, have sneezed more than ten times in a row,” Wilhelm said.

Gilbert looked slightly shocked.

“When was this?” he asked.

“Summer before last, I think. We were messing around in the hay bales out on the farm,” Wilhelm replied.

“Grandfather told me I got to sixteen once when I was younger. I had a spring cold and allergies and I’d just gotten a bucket of water dumped on me,” Gilbert said.

“That must have been lovely.”

“Teensy tiny little Luddy thought I was dying. We were standing there at the party or whatever it was, and I just started sneezing like crazy. Ludwig freaked out and ran for Grandfather.” Gilbert grinned at his little brother. “Couldn’t be a man and get me a tissue,” he said. “Aaahh… hehh… Hetchhh! Heshhhhou! Hashhhhkk! Uggg.”

Ludwig got him a tissue.

[SpookyScarySkeleton]

That is so good I love love it

[happybunny]

This is just SO GOOD!!!

Thank you!! Please continue! I'm so excited!

[hails]

Ahh, Germans.

[gummiflummi]

Awww, this is really really cute! Please do continue :-)

[weepy]

Omg major squee! So well written, and so giggly! I love Alice; she is sooooo cute!

[Maus_17]

THIS IS FREAKING GREAT!