My Coin-Operated Boi <3

[Starry_Screamer]

Hehehehehe. Moar fics~

Weeeeell, this is mostly because I was listening to "Coin-Operated Boy" by the Dresden Dolls all morning. Thank them. Also, I thought it was an interesting idea. I've been wanting to do something like this and needed a title. XD

Sooo, first off! I don't own much here. Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto, as is Sasori. *pout* Lucky bastard. I do, however, own Kozeni-chan, and the plot. Like I said, not much. XD

So yeah, I'm intrigued by puppets sneezing. Especially Sasori. Why? Because he's HAWT, that's why.

... So enjoy your funny Sasori wrongness, everyone. 8D

PART 1

Kozeni knew something was going on in her home village of Sunagakure. First, the amazing cloud of sand that covered the city - oi, she knew, that was the Kazekage’s doing. She didn’t know what he was protecting them from, but it must have been something powerful.

It was midnight before she dared to venture out of her house. There had been crashes for several hours, and the ground shook. She could have even sworn she’d smelled blood earlier. It had all died down about an hour ago, but she’d still been too scared to leave her little hiding place. However, after another hour, she deemed that it would probably be safe enough to head out and maybe see what had happened. As long as, she reasoned, she took one of her mother’s extra kunai. Just in case.

Knowing that her mother was on a mission and so there would be no one to go running to if she happened to get in trouble, she was very careful as she was sneaking around. She went barefoot, ensuring that she’d make very little noise among the grains of sand and caked clay that comprised Suna’s ground. She held the kunai at her face level, blade out and ready to strike at the slightest hint of any threat. She hadn’t really been trained in the use of it, but she figured it was a knife; how much training did you need to adrenaline-stab someone in the gut?

She blinked a few times as she came upon what looked like a large crater. “Wow,” she muttered, leaning over to see if there was anything inside. “What went down here? It looks like a mini apocalypse...”

Not seeing much in the dark, she sat on the edge and carefully slid down, making sure to catch herself before faceplanting in the dirt. What had happened? This place wasn’t even very far from her house - how didn’t she notice? “Hello...” she whispered, taking a few steps into the unfamiliar darkness. Was anybody here? And if they were, well, why?

Her foot hit something, and she nearly jumped out of her skin. Looking down, she blinked at the... was that a corpse?! She bent down, horrified, to examine it. Imagine her relief upon finding that it was actually just a marionette... albeit an almost disturbingly lifelike one. It looked like a boy, with short, slightly curly reddish-pink hair and wide brown eyes with copious lashes. He was wearing a pair of rolled-up trousers, while his top half was bare; revealing what looked like a canister on the left side of his chest. She lightly touched it, noting the marking - “scorpion” - and wondering what it was for. Did it symbolize a heart?

Her eyes flicked down to his feet. “Shinobi sandals? Why would someone put shinobi sandals on a puppet?” She raised an eyebrow as she realized she’d kind of answered her own question; after all, anyone who went to the trouble of dressing a puppet in pants and giving it hair certainly wasn’t going to leave the shoes off the entire ensemble.

“Huh.” She knelt down, brushing some of the hair out of the doll’s face. It felt so real. She was a little shocked, because she couldn’t tell the difference between this puppet’s hair and human hair. It was so soft and silky, and such a pretty color too. And when she stroked his face, the surprise just grew; his skin was smooth, fair, perfect, with not even a single blemish. She chuckled lowly, tracing around his lips. “You’re beautiful, you know. It’s too bad you’re not real...”

She went to move her hand, but noticed a sort of groove at the tip of his nose. “Hmm, I wonder what that’s for?” Ah, curse the fact that she was naturally inquisitive. Curiosity killed the cat, as they said. She pressed her finger gently against the tip of his nose, seeming to push the “button” down.

Almost immediately his face seemed to move, and his mouth opened. “H’tshuu!!” His eyes appeared to glare up at her, and all of a sudden he spoke. “Hey, brat!! Yes, you! What do you think you’re doing?!”

She shrieked, falling backwards and nearly bowling herself over. “Y-You can talk?!” she squeaked, then wondered why he wasn’t moving. Blinking a few times, she added, “And sneeze?” She’d never known puppets to sneeze before; was that a new feature on them?

“Well, what do you expect?” he growled, looking as though he was trying to figure out why he wasn’t moving himself. “You pressed a button you had no business pressing! You’re lucky it was only a sneeze reflex and not a self-destruct mechanism! Stupid girl...”

Not feeling quite as threatened and still curious, she pushed herself up, getting on her hands and knees. She peered down at him; he still wasn’t moving? “Who puts a sneeze reflex on a puppet?”

“Do I look like just any old puppet to you?!”

She widened her eyes innocently. “Er... I suppose me saying ‘bless you’ isn’t going to help things?”

“Urgh.” His head jerked to the side, and he glared up at her. “Why can’t I move anything but my head?!”

She poked at his arm. “I’m no puppet expert, besides the fact that I’m childish and like finger puppets, but it looks to me like all your joints except for your head and neck are locked up.” She grinned. “Are you like the Tin Man and need oil?”

“Argh, you idiot!” He sent an expression her way that could only be described as half glare, half desperation. “The safety mechanisms must have activated when I fell asleep. I knew sleeping was a bad idea. Look, there’s a release switch on my stomach-”

“You’re fun!” She reached down and happily pressed the tip of his nose again, slightly harder than the first time.

“Heh’tchuu!! H’tschhh!!” He twitched his nose, and shot a venomous look up her her. “Hey! Quit doing that, it’s annoying!”

“But it’s so cute!” Kozeni did it once more, giggling like a fool.

“H’tshhh!! Hih’tschiu!! Alright, you’ve had your fun! Come on, knock it off!”

“Mmm, I guess I’ll stop for now.” She stood up, then reached down and picked the puppet up in her arms. She was pleasantly surprised to find that he wasn’t quite as stiff as he looked. “You’re very handsome... I think I’ll take you home.”

“Home?!”

“Yeah, my house.” She climbed up out of the ditch with him, and began merrily walking across the cool sand back to where she’d come from. “You’ll like it there. It’s not very big, but it’s really colorful! I practice painting murals on all the walls.”

“H-Hey!” She got the feeling that if he could move, he’d be thrashing all over the place and kicking her in the back. “Brat, you better put me down!! I’m the great Akasuna no Sasori, not some kid’s rag doll! Oh, Sands, once I figure out how to release the lock, you’re going to be in trouble!!!”

BLAHAHAHAHAHA. POOR SASORI. Now he's stuck with Kozeni-chan, who seems like she's going to exploit this... erm, weakness of his?

Do you want mores? YOU KNOW YOU DO. All you have to do is comment, tell me what else you'd like to see. Let me know if it gave you a laugh, hehe.

PART 2 PENDING... see ya soon!

[Meala]

YES YES I WANT MORE<3

[Hissybella]

MOAR! i loved this XD ahaha More please!

[Akahana]

I AM INTRIGUED. Sasori needs some more torture, he doesn't get enough XD (aside from the manga...)

[v a n i l l a]

I don't even know who these characters are, but I absolutely love this!

[SterlingSilver]

Oh hohohoho~!!! I love this puppet's mean attitude~~

Reminds me of a tsundere character <3 x333

I loved this! And I would love to see more sometimmeeee~ <3

[v a n i l l a]

Please make another part soon! :3

[Starry_Screamer]

sneezelova69: Hehe, I'm glad you liked the first part! Here's some more for ya~!

Hissybella: I'm glad you loved it! Lol it took so long, sorry, but here's another part!

Akahana: Lol! I love it when I intrigue you, Aka. XD I agree, Sasori needs waaaaay more torture. ... Which is why I shall give him some. 8D

vanilla: Lol, well I'm glad you like it despite not knowing the characters. ^^ In case you're curious, Sasori (the puppet/puppet master) is from the anime/manga Naruto, and Kozeni-chan is my OC. Thanks for inspiring me to write more lol.

BlackScatter: xD I love his attitude too! He's so fun to write, and I guess he can be kind of like a tsundere sometimes lol. Glad you liked, and here's some more for you~! <3

PART 2

Coin-operated boy, sitting on the shelf

He is just a toy

But I turn him on, and he comes to life

Automatic joy

That is why I want a coin-operated boy~

Kozeni was able to bump the door open with her hip once she got back home. She'd decided to hum happily the entire way back, probably annoying the living daylights out of her new puppet friend. What was his name? Bleh, she'd forgotten already; she was terrible with names.

She gleefully carried him inside and, after looking around for a moment, plunked him down on a chair by the kitchen table. "Ow!" he hissed. "Be careful, you're going to scuff me!"

"Sorry," she grinned, scratching her cheek. "Are you comfortable there? To sleep, I mean?"

"Please," he muttered. "I think we both know you're not going to let me get any sleep."

Scooting another chair over to sit across from him, she plopped herself down and blinked several times with wide blue eyes. "Well, I might. Depends. What'd you say your name was?"

He scowled. "I'm Akasuna no Sasori. And you ill-mannered brat, you didn't even tell me your name before schlepping me off."

She shrugged, blushing lightly. "Well, I figured I could introduce myself once we got here. I mean, I would have hated to leave you in that ditch for longer than necessary. It didn't look like a very nice place to sleep."

"Your name, brat?"

Frowning, she leaned forward and let her arms dangle between her knees. "I'm Kozeni Ugokasu. And you really shouldn't call people brats, it's not very nice."

"No, but it's accurate."

She pouted, reaching over and pressing his nose twice in quick succession. "Well, I'm not a brat."

"H'tschhuu! Hih'tshhh! Heh'chhhiu! H... Huh'tchhhii!" He twitched his nose, then looked at her with a curious expression. "Why do you keep making me sneeze?"

She smiled nervously, rubbing at the back of her neck. "Um, well, I guess... because I think it's kind of cute. You're adorable in the first place, and I find it sorta funny that I can make you do something with such little provocation. Plus, like I said, it's... cute when you do it."

He sighed. "You wouldn't make a bad puppeteer, kid, if you're that interested in manipulating things."

"And that's another thing," she pouted. "I'm not a kid. I'm, like, twenty-five."

"Well, I'm thirty-five. Trust me, you're a kid, kid." He sighed, blinking a few times. "... You're not going to flip the release switch, are you?"

Shrugging again, she leaned down onto the table, crossing her arms and laying her head on top of them. "I might in a little while, if you're nice to me."

"Okay, two questions. What are your standards for 'a little while'... and what are your standards for 'nice'?"

She pouted, sticking out her lower lip at him. "A little while. A day or a week, depending on how nice you are. Nice. ... Nice. You know, try to have a happier attitude and whatnot."

"Whatnot." He hissed, making a face. "I hate that word. What the hell does it even mean?"

She giggled and reached over to press his nose again - three times. "You're funny, Sasori-san."

His eyes fluttered shut and his breath hitched several times before he could actually sneeze, "H'ttsssshhh! H'tchhhii! CHHIII!" He could barely breathe in between the sneezes, and there was no time for him to pause and speak; it just kept going. "Heh'ssshhhhuu! SHHIII! Hih'tssscchhh!" The poor puppet sounded utterly breathless, his nose twitching and his chest heaving. He tried to stifle the last few, "Hn'kkt! Hn'ggkCHHH! H'ggkkt!"

"Bless you, Sasori-san~!" She smiled at him, pushing her hair back. "Do you need a tissue or anything?"

"Ugh... no, thank you." The last two words were spit out with all the venom of someone who'd just swallowed poison. "I can't even cover. You know, you're extremely lucky that it's hard for a puppet to get sick and also that puppet bodies tend not to contain much fluid, otherwise I'd be spraying germs all over the place."

"Eww."

"Yeah, eww. So, now will you reconsider flipping the release switch?"

"Hmmmmm..." She stood up, shrugging. "I'll think about it in the morning, maybe. If you're not mean to me right now or during the night."

"Fine. Whatever."

Kozeni blinked at him a few times, tilting her head to the side. "Soooo... you're a puppet, but you're alive?"

"Yes. I used to be human, then I converted myself into a puppet. The only thing left human about me is my heart, but really it's more of a container for my essence than an actual organ."

She reached over and brushed her fingertips over the little canister on his chest that was marked with the symbol for "scorpion" - which she guessed actually was his own symbol, his name being Sasori and all. "So that's what this is for? I thought it might have a real heart in it, but I guess not."

"No, that contains my essence. I call it my heart, so I suppose on technicality you'd be correct."

"Oh, okay. Yay!" She leaned against the table. "So, why did you turn yourself into a puppet?"

"Because I wanted to live longer."

She grinned. "Well, who wouldn't? That's so cool!"

He raised an eyebrow at her, suddenly looking somewhat ashamed and somewhat intrigued at the same time. "You think so?"

"Well, yeah!" She blinked a few times, then reached down and played with a few strands of his hair. "Do you even need to eat?"

"No."

"That's so awesome!" She let go and tapped her cheek. "Did you know people spend like three years of their life just eating? It's such a waste of time! Think what else I could do in the time it takes me to eat everyday! I could get a lot more painting done!"

He glanced up at her. "That's right, I remember you saying you painted things. So I suppose it's fortunate that if I had to get stuck at all, I got stuck with another artist. What kind of paints do you use? Watercolors? Pastels? Oils?"

"Well... watercolors, kind of, but not really." She sat down again, eager to engage in a real artistic discussion with someone for once. Her mother didn't really care to do so, and she didn't have many friends that she saw on a regular basis. And Sasori was an artist himself! It would be a great honor to talk with him about art, even if she'd never really heard of his reputation. "I buy premade powders from the market, and mix them up with water. A little or a lot, depending on the effect and vibrancy I want to create."

He nodded, something akin to pleasure (but not, if that made sense?) lighting up his brown eyes. "Yes, yes, that's a particularly cost-effective route to go, I suppose. You don't seem like you've got extra money for the expensive high-quality paints, so the powders are a good way to save money. In addition to different effects and vibrancies, they can also offer a wide array of textures if you use them right. If you want a thick, pastel-style texture, adding as little water as possible can give satisfactory results."

She smiled, and it was one of the greatest feelings she'd felt in quite a while. It was wonderful to talk to someone about a passion that you both shared. "Oh, I know! I'm not the best with pastel-style, I don't personally like the look of it as much as some others. But I usually add a lot of water to make it appear like a watercolor, which I really love. It always turns out nice. Sometimes I use canvas, but sometimes I paint on the walls too. It's hard to use watercolor-style on the walls, so if I do that I normally make the paint pretty thick."

"Right, right, that makes sense." Even though earlier he'd been very annoyed with her, he seemed to be enjoying the conversation they were having at the moment. "Watercolor is difficult to keep from running and dripping on any surface that isn't papery - it works best with the canvas kinds specially made for wet media. Still, I find it fascinating that regardless of what medium you use, you sometimes do the artwork on the walls of your home." He raised an eyebrow at her, appearing quite curious. "I suppose it's a reliable way to keep track of it. But aren't you concerned it won't last? That it might get washed away when you do the housecleaning?"

Kozeni shrugged, leaning her cheek against her hand. He was truly proving an interesting person to talk with. He must be a great artist indeed, she thought with a visible smile. "Well, I find that I tend to keep improving over time. More often than not, I don't always want to be reminded of the work I've done that's inferior to what I can do now. I take photos of my former artwork, store those away, and then clean the originals off the walls." She grinned. "And besides... this way, I never run out of space!"

She actually saw him smile just a little. "Yes, that seems like an efficient method of doing it, then. I do understand the feeling of not wishing to be surrounded by past works which are typically full of many more mistakes than what you're able to do at the present. An artist is always changing, always evolving, always learning and getting better. It's nice to possess the ability to look back on your work for reference, without being constantly reminded of every error." He tilted his head to one side, and something rather indescribable filled his eyes. "I have to admit, for a brat, you provide intriguing artistic discussion. Perhaps when you release my safety lock, I may have a glance at some of your work?"

She giggled, standing up once more. "When I release the lock, perhaps, yes. It would be an honor to have you offer comments on it. Of course, we'll just see how soon I release you, hmm?" With that she reached over and tapped his nose a few more times.

Almost immediately his eyes snapped shut and his head dipped down. "Hn'ITSShhh! Huh'TIHshh!" His breath hitched desperately several times before the last sneeze finally came. "H... ih... Hih... Hiih'TSSChhhuu!" He quickly looked up and glared in the direction where Kozeni had gone. "Brat!!"

The only reply from the darkness was her amused laughter and the creak of stairs as she disappeared up them.

TBC~!

Hope you liked, guys, hopefully more coming soon!

Hehe, sorry it wasn't super exciting this time around. XD Any ideas you guys would like me to incorporate? I'm up for anything.

Thankies for reading~!

[Hissybella]

^{Awesome XD I loved it!}

[Meala]

guaaaaaaaaaaaah awesome <3

[v a n i l l a]

This was amazing! Please continue, I loved this! :3