Always Sunny Fic :)

[M_Twi_Love]

I promised you guys I'd post it tonight Don't worry, Dennis won't be the only sick one I promise. I tried to male it as much like the show as possible . Sorry for the lack of sneezing! There will be more in the next chapter!!!!

1:47 Pm

On a Saturday

Philidelphia, PA

"Where is Dennis?" Asked Mac for what seemed like the hundreth time. The bar was filled with people who just kept coming in. "I have no clue. But his shift started an hour ago, I'll text him," Said Charlie. Dee came over to where the rest of the gang were struggling to get the orders taken and Charlie pulled out his phone. "I need three beers and tell Dennis to get himself over here," She said in her trilling tone. "Shut up, bird," Said Mac. They both started to laugh, denying her order for the beers. "Just gimme the beer Mac!" She shrieked. "Shut up, bird," He repeated. They laughed again. "Fine. I dont need this, i'm going home. See ya' losers!" She grabbed her coat and slipped into it. " You cant leave!" Screamed Mac. "No? Watch me. You two can deal with these people yourselves," She snapped. She went out the door and got into her car, deciding to go find Dennis.

Over at Dennis's apartment....

Dennis was awakened by his phone vibrating on the side table beside his bed. He quickly looked at the clock. 1:58. "Dammit!!" He said in a hoarse voice. He tried to clear his throat but it didnt work. He checked his phone. It was a text from Charlie. He quickly read through the text.

Hy Denus its Charlie. Cum too Paddys. Wee ar axshully busy tudaie.

Your shiftt startted 2 ourss ago man. Okay byi Denus

Dennis sighed and made a mental note to teach Charlie how to read. His nose was stuffed up and his head ached badly. He started to text Charlie back, as he was doing so, a tickle fluttered around in the back of his right nostril. He kept texting, thinking it would go away but it remained there. He set his phone down and rubbed his nose, which made the tickle larger. His breath hitched as the sneeze approached. " Huhh...H'TSSSSHhOo!!...HIH-ISShOOoo!!" He sniffled and blew his nose wetly. The tickle was still there. " HUHShOOo!!" He layed back on his bed and decided he wouldnt be going to work today.

Back at the bar....

The bar was still amazingly busy. Mac stood up on the counter and shouted at the customers. " Hey! Get out!! Theres a murderer!!" Everyone screamed and ran out. Charlie came back in the room. " Oh, cool. You got 'em out. Hey I got a text from Dennis!!" He said, pulling out his vibrating phone.

Hey Charlie. Im sick. Not coming to work. You cant be that busy.

Mac read the text out loud. " Ohh..hes sick. Hes sick!!" Mac screamed. " Okay! God,hes sick, okay. You didnt have to scream, whats the big deal?" Charlie asked, rubbing his ear. " The big deal is Dennis and I live in the same apartment!! Im infected!! " He started to spray himself with lemon pledge. " Mac, He doesnt have the goddamn plague! And anyways, what the hell is lemon pledge gonna do?" He took the can from him. " I dont know man! But I dont wanna die!" Mac started pacing. " Dude!! You. Are. Not. Gonna. Die! Text Dennis back and ask him what he has!!" He handed him his phone.

Back at Dennis's......

Dennis was asleep again when his phone buzzed.

Dennis. Whats wrong with you?! Will I die!!?

Dennis read the text. " What do I have? H-ISSshh!!" He asked himself.

He sent a text back to Mac and went to the kitchen to get some water. As he was doing so, someone knocked at the door. Dee barged in and ran up to him. " Dee, what the hell are you doing here?" He asked the perky blonde in stilettos. " The guys were being assholes so I left and went to ask you if you wanted to come to the gym with me since you didnt come. God, you look awful," She explained.

" Im sick, Dee!!" He screamed. "Ohh...now I see why you didnt come." Dennis looked at her shoes. " You invited me to the gym..and your wearing stilettos?" He asked her. " Gotta look good, Dennis," she explained. " Well, im not going so..invite charlie or the waitress or s-something. H'ISSHHooo!!!!" He sneezed into his elbow. " Bless you, bye!!" She ran out the door. Dennis rolled his eyes and sneezed again. " Huh-USHoo!!!"

[Anonymouse]

LOL I love it when they call Dee a bird and think it's the funniest thing in the world even though they say it all the time. And LOL at Mac's overreaction to Dennis being sick. Very accurate portrayal of the characters, with Charlie's illiteracy and Mac telling patrons there's a murderer in the bar.

And sorry for the lack of sneezes? There were quite a few and this is the first chapter, and good ones too. Can't WAIT for more.

[M_Twi_Love]

Thank you so much!! And Lol it is funny when they call Dee a bird!

[M_Twi_Love]

Dennis really isn't in this chapter, sorry. Here's Chapter 2! I hope you like it.

" Did he text you back yet?" Mac asked Charlie. " No, dude! Calm down. Wait, yes!! He just texted." Charlie gave Mac the phone so he coyld read the text aloud.

Mac. Its just a little cold, I think. And no, you will not die.

" See? I told you you wouldnt die," Charlie said, wiping down the counter. " But did you hear? He has a cold. The easiest illness to catch!!" Mac reached for the lemon pledge and Charlie slapped his hand. " Lemon Pledge is not going to help!!" Screamed Charlie. " Youre going crazy, Mac!! Noone is going to get sick, and noone is going to die!! Now can you stop overreacting please...'TCCH!!" Charlie sneezed quietly into his sleeve.

Mac screamed and climbed up onto the counter, spraying himself with lemon pledge again. " Youre sick!!" He screamed. " Im not sick!! It was one sneeze, god!!" He screamed. " You need to cool off, Mac..'TSCCH!..'CHHOO!!" Charie sneezed into his arm again. Mac screamed again. " Youre crazy. Im leaving to go find Sweet Dee. G'Bye!!" Charlie slammed the door behind him. Mac just continued to spray himself with lemon pledge.

In Charlie's car......

Charlie drove in the direction of the gym, knowing Dee would be there. He wondered why Mac was being so wierd about getting sick, "H'TTTSSH!!..'TCCHhoo!!.'TCCHH!!" His thoughts were interupted by three sneezes that made his head pound. Maybe he was getting sick. " I'm not sick," He told himself quietly. Almost on cue, he sneezed again,"Hih'TCCH!!" He wiped his nose with his finger and pulled up at the gym. He gpt out of his car and went to go find Dee. She was on the treadmill. He walked up to her. " Hey, Sweet Dee," He sniffled. " Hey, Charlie. You assholes clear the bar out?" She asked smartly. " Yeah, Mac did. But I left 'cuz he got all wierd about getting sick. He thought he was gonna die," He said. " Yeah, He's germaphobic," She said. " What? Thats a real thing?" He asked. " Yes, Charlie. Its a real thing," She said, rolling her eyes. He got on the treadmill next to her.

" He's always been that way. In elementry school, in highschool..," She trailed off. " He sprayed himself with lemon pledge. What the hell would lemon pledge do?.. H'TCH!!" He sneezed into his elbow. " Bless you. Ohhh..Youre sick too." She said. " Im not sick!" He answered. " Okay, whatever you say Charlie." She said. " Its you guys's fault. Youre in awful shape. Watch, you'll all get sick. But I wont," She said smartly. " Youre full of it! You said the same thing when we tried out for the eagles like that New Kids On The Block movie!!" Charlie said. " Oh, Whatever Charlie. And it wasnt the New Kids On The Block kid, it was his brother stupid." She got off the treadmill and shrugged into her jacket. " Where are you going?" He asked her. She shrugged and left.

Back at Paddys

Mac was busy cleansing the entire bar when Dee came in. " Hey, asshole." He looked at her wildly. " Are you sick?" He asked frantically. " No," She said. " But Charlie is," She walked over to Mac. " Dude, You gotta cool it woth this germaphobic thing, its crazy," She said. " No, Dee. If I get sick, I could potentially die. I dont wanna die!!" He screamed. " Im not following," She said. " Then get outta here, bird," He said. She rolled her eyes and left.

[M_Twi_Love]

Sorry, that last Chapter wasn't very good. :(:(

[Anonymouse]

Mac is such a hysterical woman. Charlie's sneezes were good, sounded like how I imagined they would.

You're next, Mac.

Oh, and if I may make a suggestion, it would be a little easier to read if there was a break after each person speaks, rather than keeping it all in the same paragraph. It'll make it easier to understand who is saying what.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

[M_Twi_Love]

Thanks for the suggestion! Sorry, I was trying to write fast and I wasn't really thinking about what I was typing. I'll have the next chapter up soon.