Sawyer Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 Have I told you how much I love this yet? Ahh! Ohmygod, Zuko trying to hide his cold from the others and holding back sneezes and sniffling and their concern and awww this is so awesome! The characterization is perfect (omg Zuko's temper calm down jerkbender hahaha) and Toph is so smart and observant and SO CUTE. Also I totally loved the part where Zuko woke up and they were all concerned and him saying it was the altitude and.. and then they weren't even in the air.. YES I LOVED THAT. You're so good! More! Link to comment
Emily Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 O u Oomg I can'tit's too beautifulit sparkles...like vampires.but it's so O u Oweeee fuzzy feelings = w = Link to comment
Akahana Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 HOLYMOTHEROFGODWOMAN!!!!! This is so good and I love Toph's mischief and their little rival yet not rival relationship!!! I can't wait to see what she has planned to make him sneeze. To be descrete or not to be descrete, that is the question!! XD Link to comment
Ciuty80 Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 holy shrimp this even getting more and more wonderful!!!please more Link to comment
happybunny Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 omg, i loved it.. words cannot express!! the characterization is SPOT ON! and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy when Zuko tries to hide his sickness!! this is soo good im over here practically drooling on my laptop Link to comment
thegreatpretender Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 TOOO Cute!! I love Zuko. You've caputred him so well! Please continue Link to comment
EmeraldThread Posted June 25, 2012 Author Share Posted June 25, 2012 Bubbles!: That is so a competent reply! Just knowing you read this makes me happy. sneezychick93: Thank you sooo much, I'm glad you like it~Sen Beret: Waaah! I definitely don't deserve that many compliments, but...but...they make me feel so good! All of those things - I wonder how they fit in, I love that you enjoyed them! You flatter me. XD (P.S. The altitude part was one of my favorites, too.)Emily: Have some more sparkly fuzziness! It glitters like a shiny trophy (maybe...)~Akahana: Indeed, indeed! You get to find out now after a month and a half, what she planned for him. Ciuty80: Thank you sososo much! I can't even tell you how happy I am that you like this. happybunny: Sweetness! I go over characterization so much in my head, and I never know if I get it right, so I'm glad it's good. Sick Zuko is soooo drool-worthy. thegreatpretender: Thank you! Zuko's so awesome, I couldn't resist writing yet another fic about him (this being the first one I actually feel comfortable sharing with people XD). To all of you guys, I'm sooo sorry it took well over a month to write this part. I just had no inspiration, no ideas or anything, and today I just happened to go back to it and things worked out! Hopefully the next part will be finished more quickly. So if you haven't forgotten about the story completely (and I wouldn't be surprised if you have), please enjoy this next part (and I still love feedback)~Part 5As they ventured side by side into the woods, Toph wracked her brain for an idea. She didn’t know of any plants Zuko was allergic to, but since they were going to be gathering firewood, it wouldn’t be too hard to find them if they existed. Even if they didn’t, his nose was obviously so sensitive that she could figure out plenty of ways to ignite a sneeze or two.After a few minutes, though, she began to get impatient. It didn’t take forever to gather firewood, and even with all the different types of wood the firebender was carrying, there was no sign of even a hitching breath from him.That’s when the idea struck her.As he bent to retrieve a couple of twigs lying in the dirt, Toph swept one foot across the dirt, flinging the twigs into her arms. The motion was, of course, unnecessarily flashy, but it had the desired effect. A cloud of dust and dirt flew into the air around Zuko, and even as he waved it away, Toph sensed that the ruse had worked.Zuko had inhaled a full breath of the irritants, and since his nose was pretty much incapable of staving off even the beginnings of a sneeze, his breathing turned suddenly erratic. He swallowed in a vain attempt to quell the building tickle, cleared his raw throat, even sniffled as quietly as he could.“What was that fuh…for?” he demanded, though the venom in the question dissipated a little when his lungs seized.Toph shrugged innocently. “I’m bored,” she confessed. “So I wanted to make things more interesting. Whoever’s pile is bigger by the time we get back to camp wins!”Zuko peered at her skeptically, though the squinting of his eyes was due in part to the sneeze itching desperately for release. Between the dust and his cold, there was no way he was holding it back much longer. His inhales became shallower, exhales more rapid until finally he couldn’t even try to repress the overwhelming urge – nor did he have any free hands to cover it with.“Huh…hh-h-heh!...Het’knd’CH!” The first one was stifled successfully behind his teeth, though it made his eyes tear up with the force. “Eh…H’MmPtCH!” He had the same luck with the second, though by this point he could feel his nose getting more and more impatient. His good fortune would not hold out for a third time. “HEH’ExCHSh’UH!”The explosion had been far more powerful than he’d expected. He dropped the firewood and before his hands made it even halfway to his face, a powerful stream of bright red-orange flames erupted from his mouth and nose. They shot straight to the pile of twigs he’d just dropped, lighting them all ablaze.Before he’d fully grasped the situation, Toph stepped in, earthbending a heaping pile of dirt on the fire to extinguish it.“I know I asked you to work your magic,” she joked, “but this isn’t exactly the place for it.”“I know that!” Zuko barked, tears clinging to his lashes. “If you hadn’t thrown all that dust in my face, it wouldn’t have happened!”“Well, I didn’t think you were so sensitive to it!” Toph said in mock defense. It was going exactly as planned.“I’m not!” he protested.“Then what’s your problem?!” she pressed.“Nothing,” he said, scowling in defeat. There was no way he was about to tell Toph of all people that he was sick. “I think we have enough,” he decided, changing the subject to save himself. “This stuff isn’t too badly damaged.”Toph shrugged, taking the lead back to camp with a smirk decorating her childish features.By the time they got back, it was obvious that Zuko’s strength was draining, and not just to Toph. His movements were sluggish and careful as he swayed with each step. He shivered with fever that might even have gone up since they’d landed, though he couldn’t be sure. He only knew that more heat radiated from his body than he felt, and one touch from another person would alert them to his illness. Not to mention, he couldn’t even trust himself to sneeze without burning down the campsite.“Me and Sleeping Beauty are back,” Toph snickered as she dumped her load of firewood on the dirt several feet from where Appa lay on his back, Aang rubbing his belly.“Great!” Aang smiled, sliding down from the flying bison. “Want me to light the fire?”For a moment, relief warmed the sick teenager. Ordinarily starting a fire would be nearly effortless for him. But now that he was so tired out – over so little work nonetheless – he knew it would require that much more energy to do that simple task.“No, Zuko already volunteered,” Toph spoke up.His stomach plummeted. If he argued with her, it would mean questions from the group about why he couldn’t perform something so easy. If he did it, though, it would show how weak he was at that moment. But he supposed that would be easier to cover up in the long run.Once the kindling was arranged, he drew a deep breath, forcing himself into a firebending stance, a much more painful position than he expected. Then, gathering as much energy as possible, he thrust his arm forward, shooting a jet of fire from his fist. He hoped he was the only one who noticed it required way too much power to produce something that mundane.It chilled his body, producing a cold sweat across his brow. No one saw him wipe it away with the back of his hand. Toph, however, felt the motion, and then recognized the vibrations that came with Zuko swaying dangerously on his feet. It wasn’t enough for her to hear him sneeze or feel how sick he was. Everyone else had to know, too, especially now.Even she realized when he was going too far with hiding his illness.“I’m starving,” she said, dropping down beside the fire. Katara had already put the meat on a skewer and had it roasting over the flames. Beside it, vegetables simmered in a large pot. All in all, it was a feast compared to what they were used to eating while traveling.It didn’t take terribly long to cook, and by the time it was done, Toph had come up with another idea. Knocking Sokka across the fire with a little earth bending, she forced Zuko to sit beside her for phase two of her plan.“Hey Sugarqueen, pass me the spices,” she called to Katara, who obliged with a stern look. No one particularly loved the nicknames Toph had bestowed upon them since her joining the group so long ago.Without hesitation, the earth bender set about dumping heaps of spices – pepper, among several others in the mixture – on her food. It quickly became clear that there would be more spice than actual dinner on the plate if they let her continue.“Sayf some fo’ zhe resh of ush, Toph!” Sokka yelped from across the fire, mouth crammed full of meat.“Huh?” she raised her head, feigning surprise as she stopped the barrage of seasoning. “Oh, sorry.”Turning to the side, she inhaled a great breath before blowing the mountain of excess straight into Zuko’s face.The unsuspecting fire bender coughed, deep, grating coughs that even to the most unobservant person did not sound like they were induced merely by the spices. It wasn’t long before they gave way to quick and unforgiving sneezes that burned his sinuses with each release – quite literally. Every time, he struggled to contain bursts of flame that threatened to roast anyone who sat in front of him.“Huht-EKSchHIuh! Hh-hh-heh’IASchOO! Hep-GtSCHshh! Ah-heh! NgtCHyuhh! AEschOO! EISchISH!”By the end of the fit, he was gasping, spots dotting his vision while he tried to regain whatever lost composure he could salvage. Everyone was silent for moments on end, staring as Zuko fished a handkerchief from his pocket and blew his nose quietly.“What?” he finally barked when he finished and still no one had spoken.Toph burst into hysterical laughter, barely gasping, “Oh, man, that was better than I expected!”Sokka lay flat on his stomach on the other side of the fire, reaching up to feel the charred tip of his ponytail with a mournful expression.Katara opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again, blatant surprise etched across her features.Only Aang seemed capable of normal speech after suppressing a giggle. “So, is that…um…normal for you?” he asked with trepidation.“Not really,” Zuko admitted with a sniff.Aang and Katara took in Zuko’s appearance for the first time since they’d left. Even though he’d slept the whole way, dark circles ringed his eyes, made plain by the pallor of the rest of his skin, save the pink of his nose and cheeks. His eyes shone too bright. Chapped lips parted to breathe air that couldn’t get through his nasal passages. Slight tremors rippled down the length of his arms. Not to mention, he still hadn’t touched any of his dinner.“Zuko, I think you—“ Aang began before the teenager cut him off.“I’m fine, Avatar Goody-Goody.” With that, he retreated into the forest, leaving his supper in his place.“What’s up with him?” Sokka wondered. “If anyone should be sulking, it’s me! I just got my ponytail burned off!”“Be quiet, Sokka,” Katara snapped, setting her half empty bowl in front of her. “I’ll be right back.”With that, she rose from their circle, following Zuko’s trail into the woods.Sokka stared after her for a few moments before turning back to the still grinning Toph and a puzzled Aang. “What’s up with her?” Link to comment
Sawyer Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Awww! Again!I think this is soooo good! Oh my god Toph is so EVIL and so cute! Ahh! And Zuko's cute sneezing fits and that dust and omgomg favorite part was when Aang asked, “So, is that…um…normal for you?” and then awww sniffly Zuko and sadfjhsklfhakl this was also super in character! I could hear their voices in my head with each line of dialogue! Yes! Totally awesome. I can't wait to read what happens between Zuko and Katara. Link to comment
Akahana Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 LOL that was great!!! Keep up the good work!!! Link to comment
VividBubbles! Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I'm grinning like a total idiot right now. Zuko is just too adorable! And Toph. Mmmm, bad Toph! How dare you make Zuko sneeze!... I love you! Oh, and speaking of sneezing, you're spellings are complete awesomeness topped with adorable Zukoness! Oooooh, and firesneezing! Have I mentioned that I just love it? Well, I do! Continue soon please!BYE! Link to comment
Emily Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 not sure if I can formulate sentences that can display my reaction so here I am spelling it out with the lovely variety of emoticons the forum has :> I totally didn't just scroll down the entire list picking emoticons that looked cool. nope Link to comment
Illiana Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 Oh man, digging this big time! Your characterization is great. Please continue, I can't wait to see how it all turns out! Link to comment
Hissybella Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 Oh.My.Gosh! That was amazing! XD I love Toph's role haha, she's so mischievious "' Taking advantage of his sensitive nose by throwing dust into his face and then blowing spices at him. And Zuko was adorable! he's too proud to admit it great Characterization!^ as stated above by other people. Keep up the good work I can't wait for more you can never have too much sneezing zuko. Link to comment
Merino Sheep Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I just devoured all that has been wrote so far, today. I am loving this story so much. You're doing a fantastic job and have left me waiting for the next part. I want to see what happens with Zuko and Katara!!! =3 Link to comment
inactiveaccount Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 Okay, so, not sure if I posted here before... if so, oh well.ZUKO!!! Lol, not enough of him around here! I really like how well you characterize him and the others, it reads just like an episode. I can actually hear their voices in my head, which is slightly sad, but... xDOh man, sneaky sneaky Toph this last part. Tricking poor Zuko like that is JUST something she would do. I wonder what will come of Katara's little talk with Sparky...? Link to comment
sneezychick93 Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 This is by far my favorite Avatar: TLA fanfic on this forum!!! It's so good! I van't wait for more! Link to comment
Ciuty80 Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 hrhrhr what a WONDERFUL fit you gave to zuko!!!! :drool: can´t wait for more!!! Link to comment
alyssa Posted August 21, 2012 Share Posted August 21, 2012 I love this! pretty please do some more? Link to comment
Hissybella Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 yesyesyes! Revives this and begs for more. XD This is one of the best stories I've read! Please continue! Link to comment
alyssa Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 *Joins in the begging* This story is amazing and it would be so great if you continued it! If you want to that is, if you do we shall be eagerly awaiting any further updates Link to comment
Tangerine Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 Ahhhh JUST getting to the best part!! I really hope you continue! You're making me fall in love with Zuko all over again. Link to comment
EmeraldThread Posted December 10, 2012 Author Share Posted December 10, 2012 Thanks for reviving this, guys! I, uh...well, to be honest, I'd all but forgotten it. Luckily, when I went back to see what I'd started of this next part, I had quite a bit and had just never bothered to give it a proper ending. Which, surprise, it's the end! So, um...I hope you're not disappointed? I tried to make it so the end didn't seem stupid or plot-holey, but I'm not really sure if I did it right. Anyway, lemme know what you think, and sorry for taking 6 months to update (especially with the final part which wasn't initially going to be the final part, but I don't want to leave off and forget it again)!But really, thank you so so so much for all your comments, they mean a lot to me! Part 6It didn’t take Katara long to find him leaning against a tree in the middle of a coughing fit. He hadn’t gotten far before it had overtaken him, and it wasn’t like he could travel all that quickly to begin with.Katara waited until he was finished before she spoke. “Zuko.”He jumped, not having heard her approach. “Why are you here?” he growled without meeting her eyes.“I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, but it’s not working,” she informed him, cutting right to the chase“Wha—“ He stumbled over a dry cough as if on cue. “What are you talking about?”The water bender rolled her eyes, unimpressed. She stepped closer. He backpedaled into the tree.“I know you’re sick,” she declared, mere inches from his face.“I—““You look terrible, you slept the whole way here, you didn’t eat anything, and you’re even grumpier than usual,” she went on. “If you have another explanation for all of that, then let’s hear it.”“I…I’m just…” he began before realizing he really had nothing to contradict her with.Before he could register her movement, Katara whipped one cool hand up to Zuko’s forehead. Her brow furrowed. “Don’t even try to tell me you feel fine. Your fever’s pretty high.”“Firebehh…” he gasped. Katara’s hand had felt so inexplicably good on his overheated skin. The problem was the tingling feeling that blossomed from that spot, reaching to the tip of his nose and settling there. Settling and waiting for the opportunity to strike.He waved her off before doubling over with half-stifled sneezes. “Hpt’Pbtscch! Hh’kTSCH! Ek’NSt’CHUH!”The last one escaped, letting go of a fiery stream mere feet from Katara’s boots. He didn’t even raise his head when he’d finished, cursing this cold to the ends of the earth for taking his energy.“Firebenders…have higher…higher body temperatures,” he finally managed.Fingertips brushed his chin, forcing him to look up at the young girl before him. “If you weren’t feeling well, you should have said so,” she said softly. “How long has this been going on?”He shrugged. “A few days, I guess,” he admitted with a quiet sniffle.Katara shook her head. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice…” She trailed off as if some important realization had suddenly dawned on her. “Wait a minute. Is this from when you fell through the ice?”The young fire lord looked around sheepishly, anywhere that wasn’t Katara’s face, a light blush coloring his cheeks further. When he didn’t answer, she dropped her hand so quickly that Zuko’s head dropped with it, his chin almost hitting his chest. He was still against the tree, barely supporting what little weight he had on his feet.“What about the fire sneezing?” the water bender queried.Zuko ran a hand over his face, supporting himself with the other on his knee. “That only happens when it gets really bad.”A wave of emotion washed over Katara, pity at the pathetic looking boy before her giving way to undeniable fury. She wanted to shout at him, tell him how stupid he’d been for trying to hide this, especially when they were going somewhere equally as cold as the place that caused his illness in the first place.“You’re really impossible sometimes, you know that?” she said, not entirely sure how she meant the statement.Zuko scoffed. When he picked his head up, he wore the remains of a weak scowl. “You aren’t any better.”Katara looked taken aback. “Wh-what? What’s wrong with me?”Zuko turned away in a quick bout of coughing. Although it was short, the coughs were deep, drawn from the darkest realms of his respiratory system.“That doesn’t sound good,” Katara observed. “We need to get you back to camp.”He grunted what she figured was an agreement before pushing off of the tree trunk. He swayed dangerously, steadying himself on his friend’s shoulder. “Sorry,” he mumbled weakly before taking a step——and stumbling immediately.He knelt, eyes closed, for a few moments. Katara rested a hand on his back.“What’s wrong?”“Nothing.” Zuko waved her off. “Just dizzy.”“It’s that fever.”“I know what it is,” he snapped, allowing her to lead him out of the woods.It seemed like a much longer walk than it should have been. Zuko tripped every few paces, either on low scrub or his own feet. Katara supported a fair amount of his weight which, thankfully, wasn’t too heavy. When the camp came into view, the fire bender straightened.Placing his feet more carefully, he trudged miserably from the trees. The three remaining group members had gone about their after dinner tasks, virtually ignoring the pair upon their reentrance to the camp. It was only when Zuko’s trembling legs forced him to submit, dropping him unceremoniously in a heap on the ground that everyone took notice.Aang reacted first, running over to grip one arm, Katara lifting the other. The air bender, though he said nothing, was surprised at the heat radiating from the ill fire bender. He shot Katara a meaningful glance, to which she replied with a minute shake of her head.Zuko insisted on walking by himself – that is until Sokka and Toph snickered a few feet away. A brilliant idea hatched in his fever-ridden brain.He stopped abruptly, giving them pause. Inhaling rapidly and shallowly, he drew his eyebrows together as if in confusion, before wrinkling his nose in preparation for what, to anyone watching, looked like a real sneeze. With a few last stuttering breaths, he unleashed it with every bit of strength he could muster.“Heh…hah…Etch’HOO!”A great burst of flame shot from his mouth, aimed straight at the two. Even he was surprised at the ferocity of the blaze, considering how obviously fake the sneeze was and how obviously weak he was.Toph raised a cocoon of earth over her head. Sokka darted behind it, but not before the jet of fire singed his already suffering ponytail.“Was that really necessary?” he whined, poking his head cautiously from behind the wall.Zuko sniffed openly. “Yes,” he stated before retreating with finality into his tent.Katara, who had run to her tent to grab a few things, followed him, leaving Sokka to his sulking. The water bender knelt beside Zuko’s already dozing form, noting his shivering and placing a cool, wet cloth over his forehead. The young male stiffened in shock before realizing it was actually pretty comfortable.Zuko opened his eyes with great effort. “What’re y’doing?” he slurred, struggling to remain conscious now that he’d let his body rest.“Taking care of you,” Katara answered sharply. “So stop talking and go to sleep.”For a moment, it looked as though he would unquestionably obey her. That is, until he snapped his eyes open to speak again. “Y’might…” He trailed off, yawning. “Might catch it.”Katara gave him a look that said he was being ridiculous. “Believe me, I take much better care of my health than you do.”Zuko offered an uncharacteristic quirk of his lips.Katara frowned. “What’s so funny?”He shook his head slightly, mumbling, “Nothing. Wake me up when we’re leaving.”The water tribe girl now uttered a chuckle of her own, earning her the same disapproving look from the young fire bender. “What?” he demanded.“You’re kidding, right?” She dipped the cloth back in the small bowl of water she’d brought with her, pressing it to her friend’s cheeks and neck. “You won’t be able to fly for another couple of days, at least.”“But I—“ he began, protesting feebly.“You brought this on yourself, Zuko,” she deadpanned. “Either rest for a couple days and get rid of it, or suffer a lot longer than you have to. And don’t bother saying you’ll suffer for the group,” she added when he opened his mouth. “That’s just stupid.”Reconsidering his tactic, he finally gave in to her commands. It was better this way, he thought. Best not to incur the wrath of the motherly water bender.Rolling onto his side to face his caretaker, the last thing he felt as he drifted off was her gentle hand against his temple.She stayed through his fitful fever dreams, calming him each time he woke, not leaving his side as he slowly recovered over the next few days. Each time he fell asleep, the same soft touch greeted his skin, sometimes running through his hair in soothing strokes.In fact, by the time he was well enough to travel, he almost wished he weren’t – especially with Sokka’s relentless commentary about how much trouble Zuko had caused the group.“Alright, since the jerkbender put us like, a week behind schedule, we’re going to have to fly straight to the North Pole from here,” the ponytailed warrior informed everyone, schedule in hand. Zuko shot him an angry glare, which the younger male missed completely.“Sokka, there’s no way we can do that,” Aang countered. “Appa gets tired.”“What are we supposed to do about all the time we lost, then?” Sokka demanded frantically, inadvertently waving his schedule in his sister’s face. He recoiled when she snatched it away.“What we do,” she started, obviously annoyed. “Is keep going the way we were. A couple of days won’t kill us.”“But—““Huht’EISChuh!” A burst of flame erupted around Sokka’s feet, and he jumped back.“I thought you said he was okay!” he cried, pointing at Zuko who now sat, rubbing at the end of his nose.“I am,” the fire bender said earnestly.“He’s still recovering, so lay off,” Katara clarified.“As long as he’s only burning Snoozles’ feet this time,” Toph quipped, leaning back against the flying bison’s saddle.Sokka shot her a deep frown, forgetting she wouldn’t be able to see it, before grabbing his schedule back from Katara. “Fine. Just don’t blame me when everything goes wrong because of—““Please,” Katara interrupted with a smirk. “Like everything went right before because of your plans.”Sokka didn’t get to reply again before another jet of fire nearly scorched the side of his head. “Hey!” he rounded on Zuko. “Are you aiming for me?”“Not really,” the fire bender said unabashedly. “But if it’ll make you be quiet, I will.”Sokka looked taken aback, and nearly got the last word if it weren’t for the sneeze that cut him off. He looked surprised, not having been expecting it.“Look who’s gonna set us back now,” Toph commented, while Katara groaned in displeasure.This trip was turning out to be the longest any of them ever endured.Well...that's it. I hope it being a longer update than the others makes up for the ridiculous and unnecessarily long wait caused by nothing other than my laziness and some lack of inspiration for the story. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! Link to comment
Ciuty80 Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 oh YES! I REALLY enjoyed it! wonderful update! :drool: Link to comment
VividBubbles! Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 I most definitely enjoyed this! My only regret is that your fic and alyssa's fic are both done now. Where will I get my Zuko fix?! LOL. Anywayz, this was awesome, Zutara is amazing, and I'm loving Zuko's revenge on Sokka. Loving it. BYE! Link to comment
Hissybella Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Sobsobsob it was good while it lasted XD Link to comment
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