Vacation - All I Ever Wanted

[Evergreen]

((please don't make fun of the title. my brain is fried and thus all i could think of was that horrendous song. haha. that being said, this is a present for the wonderful matilda3948. it's a dog allergy and hopefully it will seem believable. i haven't seen criminal minds in a while unfortunately, so this is not set at present.))

Part One

Emily Prentiss didn’t like doing favors that involved pets. It wasn’t that she was selfish—no, she was more than happy to give someone directions or drop by someone’s house to make sure all was in order while a friend was out of town. Pets, though, were a different animal entirely for that very reason: they were animals.

Generally, Emily had an excuse not to pet sit. She worked for the BAU and most of her free time was not guaranteed, so she couldn’t commit to watching an animal when she might have to leave town to deal with a murder. This excuse usually came in handy, but after mentioning to her mother that the BAU had a weeklong vacation, she couldn’t very well refuse when a family friend showed up on her doorstep with a German Shepherd named Hans. In the woman’s defense, Emily’s mom had offered up Emily’s services without consulting her daughter. For this reason, Emily couldn’t refuse as the woman handed her a bag full of supplies and told her she’d be back for Hans in three days. After all, the woman needed a pet sitter because her cousin had died. She couldn’t very well tell her that she had to miss a funeral because she didn’t want to be burdened by a dog. Besides, how bad could it be? A dog could be fun.

The first couple hours went by smoothly as the dog got acquainted, familiarizing himself with the couch, the bed and any other furniture he could get his paws on. It wasn’t until four hours later that Emily noticed the itching. It started as a tingling sensation on her arm but soon her chest and neck began to itch, as well. She dismissed it until her eyes started watering and her nose filled. Despite being a profiler, she denied that she could be allergic to dogs. After all, wouldn’t she have known already? Thinking back on it, though, she never had a family pet and had never really been around dogs for more than an hour or two. She had no doubt in her mind that Hans was the reason for her discomfort as her nose began tickling and her eyes watered to the point of tears.

Emily retreated to her room, hoping that a little space would put an end to the itching and while it lessened it by degrees, she knew that she couldn’t just ignore Hans. At a loss for what to do, she called her mother first, who didn’t answer. Next on the list was JJ, who sympathized with her plight and suggested she give the dog a bath. JJ apologized that she couldn’t help any more, but she was out of town enjoying their week off. In fact, once she thought about it, Emily was pretty sure all her coworkers had gone on an actual vacation. She was the only person who thought a week to lie around, watching old movies and eating ice cream sounded like heaven.

After about an hour of avoiding Hans, he started whining and scratching at her door. She didn’t know what course of action she could take. She needed to take him out to go to the bathroom, but her skin still prickled and her nose was so clogged she had to pant like her furry house guest.

It was another half hour before she decided she had to do something and she was about to leave her room when her phone rang, showing Hotch on the caller ID. Shit. Did some horrendous murder happen so that they were all being called off vacation? It had happened before.

“Hello?” she answered, her voice thick.

“Hey, JJ called me. Sorry, I was at the gym. What’s going on?” he began tentatively.

“JJ called you?” she repeated dumbly, sitting up and clearing her throat.

“Yeah, she said you had a dog or something?”

“I dod’t have a dog,” Emily clarified. “I bead, I do… But id’s teborary.” She winced at the sound of her voice and she further winced as she felt herself gearing up for a sneeze. Thus far, the itching had been enough to make her want to rip her sinuses out, but it hadn’t produced any sneezes. Naturally it’d have to reach that point while she was on the phone with her boss.

“How long do you have it for?”

“Uh… Thrihhh Three days.” She rubbed at her nose and moved the phone away lest Hotch be able to hear the squelching sound it made.

Hotch sighed. She could nearly hear him stressing out. She would have been able to hear more had she not gasped and moved the phone as far away as she could hold it, a volley of sneezes tumbling out, Hih’ITSCHH’uh. Huh’GnzzzTSCH. Hnnnn’TSCH. TSCH. She revved up for a few more, but when they did not come, she brought the phone back to her ear to hear Hotch’s demand to someone (she assumed Haley’s sister) to watch Jack.

“Sorry,” she apologized, coughing a few times. “Whihhy do you need Jack watched?”

“So I can come over, Prentiss,” he said flatly as if that were the only option.

“Dnoh, you’re od vacadiod,” she protested, snapping forward with a sudden sneeze that she couldn’t direct away from the phone. Hih’ITSCHHH’uh.

“Bless you,” he said automatically, his voice assuming the serious and authoritative quality that made him such an effective boss. “I’ll be over in an hour. I need to shower and then run by the store to get some antihistamines.”

She opened her mouth to protest but as she heard him turn the shower water on, she realized that there would be no talking him out of it. Instead, she forced the words out that acknowledged her weakness: “Thadk you.”

TBC

[jezebel215]

<giggles>

[matilda3948]

Aww...this is so what I needed this week Thank you!!

I'm working on yours in my head but I'll get it together soon.

[Evergreen]

((so sorry it took forever for an update, and i don't even feel like this is that good. but i'm going out of town tomorrow for three days and didn't want to leave you hanging any longer! here's the next part))

Hotch’s POV

Sometimes it frustrated Hotch that no one called him directly for help. Hotch knew he was the boss of the team, but he liked to think he was a sort of friend, too. It was times like these, though, that he had to face the truth that he was on a different level than the rest of the team. Prentiss had called JJ and purposefully not called him even though she knew he was in town. Hotch didn’t let his ego get too bruised, however, as he showered. JJ had called him and Prentiss hadn’t refused to let him come over, and that was important.

It was only another half hour before Hotch stood in the medicine section of the pharmacy only to realize he was perusing the kid-friendly medication. He had to remind himself he wasn’t here for Jack, but rather for arguably the strongest of his team members. He had no idea what the hell Prentiss was really thinking 99% of the time, since she kept her emotions in check and composure cool. He admired her stoicism, but at times he wanted her to be vulnerable. He supposed he was about to get his wish, since she had sounded awful on the phone. He felt a little bad for having wished Emily to realize she couldn’t be superwoman all the time, but it was in no way his fault she had decided to pet sit a dog.

As he made his way to the check-out with antihistamines in hand, Hotch paused at the flowers briefly before deciding that would be too out of place. Instead, he picked up a king-sized chocolate bar. He felt a little guilty for the way he was partially looking forward to finally being truly needed by Emily. He’d helped her before, yes, but he’d never felt like his presence was imperative. Now, he was the only person who could help her or so he assumed, since she either couldn’t get a hold of someone else or everyone was busy.

This feeling of apprehension and excitement followed him all the way until he was standing at her door, the grocery bag slung on his arm, clad in a pair of jeans and a plain grey T-shirt, the most dressed-down he ever got. He had debated whether he should dress up if only to look similar to the Hotch that Emily was used to, but he decided against it. After all, this was his break, too.

He regretted his decision to ring the doorbell almost as soon as he pressed the button and heard a shuffle of claws against the hardwood floor and an eager barking followed by a hoarse “Coming” that sounded more like “Cobbidg”.

Soon Emily opened the door, grabbing the dog by the collar in order to keep it from getting loose. Her eyes were puffy and watering, nose red-rimmed and neck a little pink, too, as if a rash were going to develop. He felt himself frowning as he stepped in and shut the door, kneeling down to the dog’s level and letting the German Shepherd sniff him until it wagged its tail and let him pet it.

The dog only held his attention momentarily as he looked back at Emily with concern. “You look terrible,” he observed bluntly as she scrubbed at her nose with the back of her hand.

“Id’s really gnod thad bad,” she tried to protest as she itched absentmindedly at the skin right below her neck. “You loogk differed.”

“Yeah,” Hotch agreed. “Contrary to popular belief, I do own other articles of clothing.”

Emily laughed lightly which turned to irritated coughs. As she swiped at her tearing eyes, Hotch stood up and placed a hand on her back, nudging her gently in the direction of the living room.

“You should sit down,” he urged, his voice serious again. “What do you need me to do?”

“I bostly ahhhh nehhhh needuhhh’KTSCH. KNGTschhh. KNGXshhh. GNXshh.” Emily covered her nose with a tissue she seemed to pull out of no where but in retrospect it had been stuff in the pocket of her sweatpants. “I need you to tahhhh’KNGTSCHHH take hihhh’KTSCHHH…”

“Take him out?” Hotch supplied, striding across the room to grab a clean tissue as Emily nodded her head frantically, gasping as she revved up for another violent sneeze. He pressed the tissue in her hand and she tried to thank him but failed as the urge overcame her.

Hih’KTSCHH’uh. KNGSHHHH’oo.

“Bless you,” Hotch said, stepping forward and tugging the dog back from her. “Wanna go for a walk, buddy?” he asked in his dog-friendliest voice, the dog wagging its tail as if it knew what was being asked of it. When Hotch went to the kitchen, where he presumed the dog’s stuff was, it trotted after him eagerly and he frowned as he heard Emily blow her nose and let out a small groan.

“Is there anywhere in the house the dog hasn’t been?” he called as he found the leash and hooked it on Hans’ collar.

“Uhb, he wasd’t id by roob for very lodg,” she replied huskily, blowing her nose as she came into the kitchen.

“Well, go there,” he said in his sternest of tones. He wasn’t going to give her an option.

He had half-expected her to try to argue, but as she nodded, he could tell how awful she felt.

“I’ll be up there after I take him out,” Hotch said, nodding at Hans, who was feverishly wagging his tail.

“Ogay,” Emily murmured, wiping at her eyes as she exited down the hall and began to climb the stairs.

Hotch quickly took Hans out, who relieved himself immediately. In order to get out some pent-up energy, though, he kept the dog outside for a few minutes, walking briskly down the block and back. Hotch figured that should keep the dog from going too stir crazy while he tended to Emily. Judging from how bad her reaction was, Hotch wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up having to take the animal to a kennel. He would bring it home, but he didn’t want Jack to get the wrong idea. Every kid wanted a dog, but Hotch didn’t have enough time to take care of one.

After returning to Emily’s place, he found a water bottle and his bag of supplies before quickly walking upstairs. It didn’t take long to locate Emily’s room and as he entered, he saw her seated at the edge of her bed, palms flat against the mattress, breaths coming out in a wheeze.

He sighed as he walked over to her, easily popping the pills out of their casing and pressing them into her hand. He next opened the water bottle and handed that to her, as well, waiting until she had taken the pills to take it back.

“You’re really allergic, Prentiss,” he observed in a concerned tone of voice.

“Yeah,” she agreed quietly, meeting his eyes with her puffy, red ones.

He watched as she continued to wheeze out breaths for a moment before he retreated into her bathroom. Generally he wouldn’t rifle through someone’s stuff, but he needed to locate a washcloth. He ignored the various products but as he searched, he noted a bottle of sleeping pills and anti-anxiety meds. He had had his suspicions that not everything under her surface was calm and collected, but this confirmed it and he felt himself growing more worried. He didn’t want to cause her any more stress than her allergic reaction was causing her, but he wasn’t quite sure when he’d have another opportunity to bring up her vulnerability. Deciding he would wait until she was at least doing a little better to bring up the pills, he located a washcloth and began to run the water. As it reached an uncomfortably hot temperature, he soaked the cloth and wrung it until it was no longer dripping before he returned to Emily.

“Lay down,” he instructed.

Emily shook her head, placing a hand on the base of her neck. “I cad’t breathe layidg dowd,” she confessed.

“Well, then, lean against the headboard.”

She nodded and adjusted her position.

“Now try to tilt your head back a little.” His voice was gentle, the tone he used with Jack when he was scared.

Emily hesitated but did as he suggested, her breathing becoming a little more labored.

“Alright, I’m going to place this washcloth over your face. The steam will help your throat and breathing.”

Emily started at this and jerked her head back up, coughing from the sudden movement and shift in her sinuses. She then took a gasping breath and reached wildly for a tissue.

Hotch grabbed the box from her nightstand and handed it to her, sitting at the foot of her bed to wait out the sneezing fit.

Hih’NGTSCHH. KNTSCHHH. KNTSCHHHH’uh. GNZGshhh. Ngtschhh.

She tried to blow her nose, another volley of sneezes being produced from this effort. Hih’TSCHHH’uh. KNGSHH. KNSHHH. HNGGGtsch.

When Hotch felt like she was done, he stood back up and went to stand in front of her. “Bless you. Now, you’re gonna have to trust me, Emily,” he said quietly. “I promise this will help. I’ll be right here.”

She searched his eyes pleadingly like a child looking to a parent for comfort before she nodded and tilted her head back.

He slowly laid the washcloth over her face, moving to sit in front of her. He gently grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze, surprised as her fingers gripped his hand tightly. He wasn’t used to this side of her. She was scared and being so honest about it, but he didn’t blame her. It wasn’t as if this was just a tickle in her throat kind of allergy. He could see the angry red welts beginning to form below her neck and the skin on her forearms becoming red from scratching.

“When you feel ready, you should try laying down. It will help more,” he encouraged, but he didn’t press her to move. After a few minutes she began to shift and he stood back up, helping to ease her into a laying position before seating himself directly next to her, placing his hand in hers once more. He adjusted the washcloth and listened as her breathing calmed and noted as her grip began to loosen. Soon he heard her breathing level out entirely and felt her hand go limp in his, and he gently picked the washcloth from covering her face, gently pressing it against the welts forming on the top of her chest. He returned to the bathroom several times as he continued to wet the wash cloth, alternating between the welts on her chest and the irritated skin on her arms. Watching her sleep, he could see the anxiety lines next to her eyebrows and the pained pull of her lips. Even in sleep, she couldn’t fully relax and after wetting the washcloth again, he dapped her face with it before placing a kiss on her forehead, murmuring into her hairline, “It’s okay, Emily.”

TBC

[silentdreamer789]

Lovely. Poor Emily, but I love Hotch getting to be all caring...

Edited March 11, 2012 by silentdreamer789

[matilda3948]

I this!

[Evergreen]

((sorry this is kind of short, and sorry for taking so long to get this part up.))

While Emily slept, Hotch turned his focus to the dog. Hans was a nice animal, friendly and well behaved. Hotch had grown up with dogs all his life and there had been times as an adult when he’d scrolled through the pictures of dogs at the pound. After Haley died, he had spent hours contemplating whether or not he could make owning a dog work if only because he felt like an animal could help to ease his feeling of loneliness. He had Jack, but he couldn’t expect his son to absorb his grief and while Jack helped him stay grounded and feel needed, there were times when he just missed being held. He’d had to bottle his pain up, breaking down in his car or shower when his loneliness became overpowering. It had been a hard time for him and still was, but he was glad he didn’t give into the desire to adopt a pet. A dog like Hans needed attention.

At first, Hotch attempted to avoid prolonged contact with Hans. He kept the dog from jumping up on the furniture but as he watched TV on the couch and found himself dozing off, he didn’t fight it as Hans nudged his way up, forcing Hotch to stretch out to make room for the dog to lie alongside him.

He gradually fell into a deeper sleep, one arm loosely draped over the dog. He slept more peacefully than he had in a while. Perhaps Hans knew he needed some sort of comforting presence, but he stayed put as Hotch slept.

When he woke up, he wasn’t sure of the reason. It took him a minute to register where he was and another few seconds before he identified a pinched sneeze.

Hih’IGHktt KGT.

He looked around the room quickly and noticed Emily leaning in the threshold of the living room. She smirked momentarily before her lips trembled and nostrils flared, eyes tearing up as her nose burned. He took that time to sit up, gently guiding Hans to the ground.

Hih’IGHTschh. TSCHOO. TSCHH’uh. KNGTSCH. KNTSCH.

“Bless you,” he said quietly, feeling guilty for having had let Hans deposit more allergens on her couch.

“Thags. You did’t have to gedd ubb,” Emily said with a frown.

“I shouldn’t have been sleeping in the first place,” Hotch said apologetically. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have let him on your couch.”

“Dod’t worry aboud id. Thad’s the bosdt relagxed I’ve seed you id modths.”

He didn’t mean to blush, but he felt his cheeks heat up. He had thought he’d been doing so well with not letting the team see how stressed out he was. He knew they were all profilers, but he had hoped he’d be able to outsmart them. He wondered if it was just Emily who knew or if the whole team was aware of his tormented emotional state. What if they talked about it? He could have gone on worrying but the sound of watery nose blows reminded him of where he was. Now was not the time to stress over the fact that Emily knew he was stressed.

Once she had filled up four tissues, she tried to rephrase what she’d said earlier. “I didn’t mean that you seem off at work or anything… Just that you finally looked like you get some time away from your thoughts. I know as a profiler I cherish the moments when I can just stop thinking.”

Hotch gave a slight nod. “I wasn’t dreaming for the first time in a long time,” he admitted.

“Do you dream about Haley?” Emily asked, immediately backtracking as she realized how out of line she was. “I’m sorry. That’s none of my business.”

Generally, he would have taken the out and not divulged any more information, but Emily’s genuine concern prompted him to answer honestly. “All the time,” he murmured.

Emily bridged the gap between them and sat down next to him, rubbing at her nose as it itched from the proximity of dog hair. Emily hesitated momentarily before placing her other hand on top of Hotch’s. She didn’t say anything, just sat there, occasionally sniffling as her nose continued to itch.

They sat in silence into Hotch heard Emily’s breathing change, becoming shallower as she geared up for a sneeze. Sure enough, it was only a few seconds before she withdrew her hand from his, turning away as several sneezes tumbled out. Hih’KTSCHH. KNGTSCHH. NGTSCHH. TSCHHH. “Ah… Hhh-Sorry,” she choked out as she violently rubbed her nose, trying to stop the tickling. Ihh’GTSCHH. TSCH’oo. TSCHHH.

“Bless you. I’m the one who’s sorry, Prentiss,” he said quietly. “I’m probably covered in dog hair. I was inconsiderate to have spent so much time with the dog.”

Sniffing hard, Emily managed to quell the urge to sneeze, but her nose was stuffed up again. “He’s gnod add udsub, Aarod,” Emily teased.

That remark caused Aaron to crack a smile. He nearly laughed, which was uncharacteristic of him.

“Good to see you sbile, Hodtch,” Emily said, meeting his eyes and patting his hand. She stood up and sniffled wetly, groaning at the gurgling sound her nose made. “Gross,” she commented. “I thidk I’b godda go ubstairs before by throadt closes up.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” he agreed.

Emily was almost out of the room when she turned and asked him, “Hey, could you do that wash cloth thidg to helb be breathe?”

Hotch smiled. “Of course,” he said as he followed her up the stairs, feeling comfortable now that he was needed, although he suspected Emily might have asked him to help her to boost his confidence. Whatever the reason, he appreciated the diversion from the thoughts about Haley that would inevitably creep in. For now, he could worry about Emily instead of feeling guilty about his first love and what became of her.

TBC

[matilda3948]

Oh, this is just delightful!! I love Hotch getting a little impromptu therapy from the dog--dogs are great for that.

[Evergreen]

((so this took forever and i've decided to set this after emily has to fake her own death, so sorry for it not being consistent, but i love me a good breakdown. everyone should know that by now. hahaha. and i figure hotch would still be upset over Haley's death because, y'know, you don't just get over your love being murdered. with that being said, this is almost the rest of it. i think i'll put in a nice, small last part to wrap everything up, but here's the bulk of the rest of the plot. enjoy!))

Upstairs, Emily was seated on her bed, her back against her headboard with a tissue held over her nose in anticipation. Her chest rose and fell erratically as the itch grew. She couldn’t seem to get a sneeze out, though, and a few tears trickled from her eyes from the intensity of the burning in her nostrils.

Hotch stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do before dug for his keys.

“Whaaat are you doidg?” Prentiss asked, lowering the tissue and swiping at her cheeks.

He didn’t answer her and instead pointed his small flashlight attached to his keychain at her and flipped the light on.

She jerked a little at the brightness of the light before she gasped, barely managing to get the tissue over her nose as six massive sneezes overcame her. Hih’ITSCHggg’uh. KNTSCHHHH. KNTSCHH’uh. KNGSTCH. Hah’TCSHHH. She managed to blow her nose to free it up enough for a breathy sneeze. Hah’tschh’OO.

As soon as she blew her nose into three tissues, she glanced at Hotch to find him smirking. “What? Do I have snot all over my face?” she asked jokingly.

“No. You just seem less guarded right now.”

“What do you mean?” she asked with a nervous laugh before a particularly feminine sneeze overtook her. Hih’itksch’OO.

Hotch laughed a little. She didn’t sneeze at work, probably finding it to be weak like he did, but now that she’d blown her nose and her sneezes weren’t squelching with trash-compactor-like congestion, she actually seemed openly feminine. Perhaps he hadn’t noticed before because she’d been too stubborn to really blow her nose all the way, but he guessed her discomfort won out and she stopped feeling embarrassed around him. It was nice to see her so vulnerable… Not in a sadistic kind of way, but Emily was someone he considered to be a lot like himself. She felt like she had to prove herself to everyone and so never showed any sort of weakness, but she was feeling comfortable enough around him now to have invited him to help her when she could have easily locked herself in her room and let him solely deal with the dog.

“Seriously, Hotch…” Emily said with a shy-seeming smile. “I seem less guarded because of my overproduction of mucus and tears? I’m reading into less guarded as you pointing out I'm more disgusting right now.”

He laughed freely at that, sitting down on her bed and surveying her with his characteristically intense gaze. “I have a kid, Emily. Remember? I’m just grateful you know how to use tissues,” he paused. “And about seeming disgusting, you couldn’t seem disgusting if you tried, Em.” He said it quietly, but he met her eyes momentarily.

“Thank you,” she said nervously before she turned her face away from his hawk eyes. “You’re making me feel like an unsub, Hotch. What do you want me to admit?”

He knew she was joking but before he could help himself the words came tumbling out. “Why you’re taking anti-anxiety drugs.”

“Shit,” she blurted out, sitting up all the way, her whole body tensed.

Hotch knew he should apologize, tell her it was none of his business, but he couldn’t get the words out. He looked at her openly, sitting across from her. Neither one of them said anything but her eyes began tearing. He wasn’t sure whether it was from the itching in her nose or from being upset.

When no sneezes came, he had to assume it was from genuine emotion and he felt a small pang of guilt. Emily didn’t cry. It was something she didn’t do. He didn’t blame her for being on anti-anxiety drugs. She had pretended to be dead for God’s sake. He could do nothing but watch as she swiped angrily at her cheeks, at first able to catch each tear as it fell, but soon they were overflowing too quickly and she could do nothing but turn her face away from him.

“It’s okay, Em,” he whispered, frowning as he saw her back shudder and then her muscles clench. He was all too familiar with trying to keep from breaking down, holding his muscles tight to keep from falling apart, as if the dull throb that came from stoicism was in some way better than the brief feeling of vulnerability that would come if he just let go. He hesitated momentarily as he saw her back tremble before he placed his hand in between her shoulder blades.

Emily squirmed for a moment at his touch, taking a small whimpering breath as she tried to reign in her emotions.

“Emily, it’s just me,” he said gently.

“You’re the l-last person I w-want to see me l-like this,” she replied, her voice ragged.

Hotch flinched a little at her words and removed his hand. “I’m not judging you, Emily.”

“Really?” she asked pointedly, turning around to stare at him angrily as tears trickled from her eyes. “Because you treated me like I had done something wrong and bringing up my anxiety medication was your choice, not mine. I didn’t say anything to you even when the bags under your eyes got so dark I was afraid you never slept. I never mentioned it when I could tell from the roughness of your voice that you’d been crying. Hell, I saw you cry once. You thought everyone had gone home and I had wanted to run an idea by you, but when I got to your office and eased open the door you had the video of Haley bringing Jack home playing and your head was down. You didn’t even hear me because you were sobbing, Hotch. I wanted to come in so badly and touch your back and make it better, but do you know why I didn’t? Because I didn’t want to embarrass you. I kept an eye on you because I care about you, Hotch, but I never mentioned the fact that you were on the verge of completely falling apart because I knew I’d tip you over the edge.”

Under the fury of Emily’s gaze, Hotch could only maintain eye contact for so long before he looked down at the comforter. He frowned as she listed the times she had let him be and he felt guilty for invading her privacy. Sometimes he felt unbelievably guilty to even have let Emily be in a position that led to her faking her death, but he couldn’t make this about him. Not when Emily was clearly unraveling. Her anger continued as she addressed him again.

“You want to know why I need anti-anxiety meds?” she spat at him. “It’s because I let everyone down. My problems screwed up our team dynamic. JJ is stressed out because Reid hates her. Morgan is stressed out because I betrayed him. Garcia is hurt because I let her mourn for me. Reid is fucking traumatized. And when I see everyone, do you know what I think? Why do they even talk to me? You all should hate me. I hate me for what I did to you… I hate you for letting me do it… And I hate them for not just hating me like I deserve.”

Her voice became small at the end and Hotch looked up from the pattern he was following on the blanket as she confessed what was going on with her. He had known how hard everything had been for her, but sometimes he was so busy trying to ensure JJ was alright having lied with him that he completely neglected Emily. Speaking of Emily, she let out a muffled sob and curled in on herself, her fists balling the comforter blanket and her sobs overcoming her so quickly that soon she was hyperventilating.

“Emily,” Hotch called loudly when he became sure she couldn’t regulate her own breathing.

She looked at him with eyes so wounded he flinched. She looked scared and hopeless and even if she wasn’t too much younger than him, he could swear he saw the look Jack got when he needed his dad. He wanted to reach out for her, comfort her, but Emily was not Jack and he was the reason that she was falling apart… Well, maybe he wasn’t the entire reason, but he shouldn’t have pushed her.

“I-I’m s-sorry,” she gasped out, pressing her hand to her sternum as she tried to take deep breaths.

“No apologies necessary, Emily. Do you want me to help?” he asked, opening his arms like he did for Jack to invite him into a hug. He doubted it would work and unsurprisingly he was right as Emily shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself.

“N-no. Don’t t-touch m-me,” she begged.

“Alright, I’m not touching you,” Hotch said, his voice soft and comforting, similar to the voice he used when he first met Hans…. Hans! He knew Emily was allergic and badly so, but as he watched her become more and more panicked as her breaths came out in shuddering gasps, he had an idea. “I’ll be right back, okay?” He waited until she looked up and nodded, although her eyes were scared.

He stood up and opened the door to her bedroom. Just as he suspected, Hans sat at the doorway. Hotch had always admired a dog’s intuition when a person was in need. He let Hans in and watched as the dog jumped onto the bed without hesitation.

“I know you’re allergic, Emily, but do you think he could help? Just pet him and think about that.”

She looked uncertain but as he nodded encouragingly, she gingerly began to stroke the dog’s fur. It didn’t take long until she began to relax her muscles one by one, the flow of tears becoming just a slight trickle down her cheeks. As soon as her breathing came out in a mostly regular pattern save for a few hiccups, Hotch took Hans out of the room. He remained in an awkward silence with Emily until he noticed she was scratching her right hand, the skin reddened with irritation. He entered her bathroom, this time not even looking at the anxiety meds as he wet a towel.

“Can I touch you?” Hotch asked politely once he stood over her with the damp washcloth.

Emily gave a slight nod, never breaking eye contact.

He sat beside her and took her hand, gently squeezing the warm cloth over it and then alternating to the other. Once he had done that, he moved to dab her face.

“Close your eyes,” he said, gently wiping the tear tracks from her cheeks. He had gently run the washcloth next to her right nostril when a sudden sneeze took her by surprise and she sneezed uncovered towards his lap. Hih’ikschh’OO.

“Bless you,” he said as she looked at him wide-eyed, quickly locating a tissue for her and waiting as her breath hitched. He should have known she’d be sneezing soon, since she’d been petting Hans for a good 10 minutes as she calmed herself down.

Hih’IKSCHH. KNGTSCHH. KSHH. KSHH. KSHH.

The sneezes tumbled out one after the other, some giving her enough time to take a small breath, others literally running into each other. Hotch waited patiently for what felt like forever but was really closer to two minutes until the sneezing slowed enough for him to bless her in between.

“You dod’t hihh’TSCHH habb to keeb sayidg thahhh’KSHH thad,” she advised after he’d blessed her over 10 times.

“Bless you,” he said in response, his expression concerned as she sneezed again. Hah’IGTSCH.

He felt his own pulse rate increase as he heard her wheeze in between the final sneezes of the fit. He hadn’t meant to induce such a strong reaction by bringing the dog in here. Once she had blown her nose, he scooted close again and wiped her cheeks once more, taking care to avoid bumping her nose. “Why don’t you lie down?” He moved so he sat alongside her so she could get under the covers.

Emily considered for a moment and then nodded, easing under her sheets and staring up at the ceiling with sore, swollen eyes trying not to fall asleep. He didn’t push her to sleep. Instead Hotch ran the damp cloth over her arms to ease the itching.

“Hey Hotch?” Emily murmured after he thought she’d fallen asleep. She kept her eyes closed.

“Hm?”

“I didn’t mean it, what I said about hating you. I’m sorry for saying it. I’m sorry for saying all of it.”

“Don’t be, Emily. It’s perfectly understandable.”

“No, Hotch,” she said, her voice assuming an urgency as her eyes snapped open and she searched for his face. “I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry. I’m just now thinking of what I said to you. I just want to take it back. I don’t want you to think I can’t handle my life or my job. I’ve been really trying, Hotch. The medicine is helping. I’m just having a bad day… Please try to forget what I said because thinking back on it, I sound like I’m about to jump off a building or something. I’m really not that depressed. It’s just…” she would have kept talking if it weren’t for the itch that blossomed in her nose. Hih’IGHTSCHH’oo. TSCHH’oh.

Hotch took that opportunity to break in. “Bless you, Emily. You went through a trauma. I don’t expect you to be okay. Do you really think I have any doubts about your abilities? You’re great at what you do and I don’t blame you for what happened. Everyone needs help sometimes.”

“But you didn’t,” she replied, looking insecure.

He let out a small laugh. “Haley's sister helps me, Emily. And you want to know something no one knows? I trust that this will stay between us. I cried in the supermarket over a box of tampons.”

Emily let out a small laugh at that, waiting for the rest of the story as her eyes closed.

“Haley and I weren’t even together, so I hadn’t shopped for her in so long, but somehow someone had slipped a box into my baske... I think it was this group of teens who thought it was funny, I just put the basket on the belt and the check-out lady told me I was a good man to pick up my lady’s feminine supplies. It caught me off guard because I didn’t feel like a good man at all. I couldn’t…” his voice wavered a little, but his eyes remained dry. He always had a hard time admitting his innermost source of guilt. “I couldn’t save her, and yet this woman thought I was there buying her tampons. It was definitely an uncomfortable moment for me, crying over my groceries and telling this random woman that the love of my life had died. I ended up not even buying anything and..."

Hih’kngttt. KNGXX.

Emily’s sudden sneezing interrupted him. He looked at her and offered a small smile. She was pinching her nose shut after failing to keep from sneezing. “Sorry,” she said, her cheeks red.

“Bless you… The point is I know how it is to want to be strong, but you can’t be all the time. I don’t think any less of you for it. I don’t need to forgive you for being human, but if it will make you feel better, I forgive you. It’s okay.”

She nodded and sat up. He was looking at her quizzically until she leaned towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck. It was weird to be hugging him like this, but she liked how grounded it made her feel as she felt his hand on her spine and his cheek against hers. If they were farther apart, she probably wouldn’t have had the courage to say anything, but given that his ear was right by her lips she whispered something she’d wanted to tell him since the funeral. “I don’t need to forgive you for being human either, Hotch. You’re not superman and it’s not your fault Haley is dead, but if it will make you feel any better, I forgive you, too. She loved you, Hotch. She wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up.”

His grip on her tightened as she said that and he didn’t let go for a solid thirty seconds. When he leaned back, his eyes were damp, but he didn’t cry. Not today. Not after Emily had broken down. Instead he gave a genuine smile. People had showered him with reassurances after Haley’s death, telling him that he couldn't blame himself for what happened, but for some reason he had an easier time believing Prentiss or at least believing that she believed it, and for that he was grateful. “Thank you.”

TBC

[matilda3948]

Have I mentioned recently how much I love you? 'Cause I do!!!! Allergies and an emotional breakdown Bonus!!

[jezebel215]

squiggly heart all gooey in my stomach.

please let him hug you, for me ... please?

[Evergreen]

((okay, so i may have threw a hotch sneeze in there. *whistles*. i couldn't help it! hope you enjoy the last installment!))

The vulnerability on both of their parts was short-lived and after the hug, which lingered longer than either had experienced in a while, Emily eased back into a laying position and tried to go to sleep.

Hotch stayed and watched guard until her breathing evened and then he decided to take matters into his own hands. It was getting to be past the time a kennel would be open and if he wanted to ease Emily’s allergies, he’d need to get the dog out now. With that in mind, he gathered Hans’ things and hooked the dog on a leash, calling Garcia.

“Hey, Garcia. Sorry for interrupting your break. Can you do me a favor?”

“What’s wrong, bossman? Please tell me you’re not working when you’re supposed to be getting schloshed in a bar in Tahiti.”

He chuckled lowly. “Is that what you’re doing?”

“Of course not, sugar. This background noise is my TV.”

He could hear the smile in her voice, as well as the distant calling of “LET’S DO SHOTS”. “You know what, Garcia. I can call information or something.”

“Not to be silly, sweetness. What do you need? Your wish is my command.”

“A pet kennel near Prentiss’ house. Please don’t ask, Garcia,” he said when he heard her take a breath, no doubt preparing to ask him a myriad of questions about why he was at Prentiss’ in the first place.

“Alrighty. There’s one about 2 miles away. It’s called something horrificly cheesy, ‘Bark’s the Word’,” she said.

“Can you send me a text about it, Garcia?”

“Sure thing. Now you let my little Emily know that she better be feeling better so she can have fun. Poor pet is always so serious. Both of you are, bossman.”

“I’ll let her know. Thanks.”

“No problem. I gotta get back to watching this show. I’m getting behind, you see.”

Hotch laughed as he heard someone else beckon her to take a shot. “I understand. Hey, Garcia?”

“What else can I do for you, my dear?”

“Enjoy yourself. You deserve it,” he said.

“Right back at you. I’ll see you after our little break, and you and Prentiss better be looking well-rested, you hear me?”

Hotch laughed again. “Loud and clear, Garcia. Bye.”

He wasn’t surprised as his phone buzzed 10 seconds later with information for the place. He swore that woman could sometimes type faster than he could think. He laughed slightly at a small typo in the word “street”, the only evidence of her impaired condition. Hotch was glad she was enjoying herself, and he could be enjoying himself too soon enough if he could get Hans put away and clean Emily’s house.”

Thankfully the kennel was still open and had room when he arrived, and Hotch handed over his credit card as they gave him an exorbitant fee for boarding the dog. Apparently it was some sort of doggie spa, but he didn’t feel like searching for somewhere more affordable and he was anxious to get back to Emily’s house so he could clean it up before she woke up.

After ensuring Hans was in good care, Hotch returned to Emily’s. It was 9:00 by that time, but she was still sleeping peacefully and so he set to cleaning. First he wiped down the countertops and dusted. He was in the midst of dusting when Emily surprised him.

“What are you doing?”

“Cleaning.” His voice was a little rough, probably from inhaling dust. He wouldn’t call himself allergic, but cleaning often got his throat itching. It was nowhere near as severe as Emily’s reaction had been.

“You okay? Your voice sounds a little weird.”

“I’m fine,” he said, sniffing slightly as his nose tingled faintly. He never sneezed at work or really in front of anyone. He wasn’t fond of any display of weakness, so he either escaped into the bathroom or he just willed the urge away whenever he felt the need to sneeze.

Emily’s eyebrows were raised slightly and she crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re allergic to dust?” she asked with a slight smirk. She would have never pegged that.

“Not allehhergic,” he said flatly.

“Ooookay,” Emily said. “Do you need a tissue?”

“No.”

Emily laughed. “Why are you so stubborn, Hotch? Just sneeze. It’s only fair.”

“Fair?” His voice was unsure.

“You’ve seen me sneeze more than anyone else, and come to think of it, I’ve never seen you sneeze.”

Sometimes he forgot she was a profiler. His eyes watered as he locked his jaw, trying to level his breathing out as it struggled to hitch.

“Come on,” Emily said jokingly, grabbing a tissue and dangling it in front of him. “You’re being ridiculous.”

Hotch shook his head, smiling faintly as he met her eyes. “Not happening, Emily. Give it up.”

His willpower was admirable, but alas he was unable to fight it this time. He placed the top of his wrist beneath his nose, bending slightly at the waist as he subdued the sneeze. Hih’Tzztch.

“Bless you,” Emily said, offering a small smile. “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

He smiled. “Deal.”

“Where’s Hans?” she asked, sniffing tentatively. “I can breathe.”

“I took him to a kennel.”

“Wow. Thank you. How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing.”

“No, come on. I highly doubt it was free, so I intend to pay you.”

“It was free. I’ve got connections, Prentiss,” he said with a wink.

She looked a little shocked at his wink. He wasn’t the sort of man who teased… Or maybe he was when he was off of work. She liked this version of Hotch. “Well, can I make you dinner tomorrow night to say thank you?” She immediately colored at that. That was stupid of her. It sounded like a date.

Hotch surprised her as he smiled again. “I’d like that, Emily.”

“Yeah? Okay, any preference?”

“No. I’m sure it will be fine.”

“Alright. Thanks again. For everything. Sorry I was so gross.”

“You weren’t gross, Emily. You couldn’t be gross if you tried.” It was his turn to color, and he cleared his throat. “I should go though. I should sleep.”

“Oh, of course. I’ll see you tomorrow?” she said it like a question.

“Definitely.”

She walked him to the door and he was about to say goodbye when she took an uncertain breath and turned away from him. Hih’KTSCHH. Hih’KNGTSCH.

“Bless you,” he said kindly.

“Thank you.”

“Hey, Emily, you’re not allergic to flowers, are you?”

“No… Why?” she asked, confused.

“No reason,” he said with a smirk. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” she said before she could help herself and he smiled.

“Me too. Goodnight.”

“Night,” she murmured, shutting her door and smiling as Hotch got in his car and had to fight back a grin as he pulled away.

THE END!

[jezebel215]

that was awesome

[matilda3948]

Bravo! Loved this!!