Reservoir Dogs fic

[Tarkus]

Hey you guys!

So, I finally found my old PC that my parents had squirrelled away in our attic and was able to extract some of my old stories (including a Reservoir Dogs fic ). Although I highly doubt many of the younger forumites will know this fandom, I'll bet most members over the age of 30 will have run across this movie at least once. (For example, Niceguy, don't think I don't know who's in your avatar ) Oh, and, I wrote this about 4 or 5 years ago, so it might not be as good as some of my more recent stuff.

Warning: Here thar be f-bombs, so if very strong language bothers you, then this miiight not be the fic for you. Also, this movie was done by Tarantino. In translation, my attempt at fanfic for this movie is sad in comparsion to the real thing. Seriously, watch the movie then read this. You will shake your head in shame at my paltry farce of a fanfic.

Disclaimer: This fandom is allllll Tarantino, and I am not Tarantino. If I were, there'd be something in here about feet

This is mainly for the lovely DayLightStarr, who brought up the idea for a Reservoir Dogs fic some time ago. For yoooou!

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There were a lot of things Mr. Orange could do that Freddy Newandyke couldn't.

Mr. Orange could mingle with the vicious criminals of LA's underbelly, while Freddy could barely pass as "quiet" at most social events. Mr. Orange could fire a gun without any hesitations. Freddy could nearly be called paranoid about using his. In fact, Mr. Orange and Freddy were so dissimilar that, if you were to question both personalities separately, they would seem like two entirely different people.

Mr. Orange's job was, in all its stark brutality, was to do as he was told and shut the fuck up. The main objective in Freddy Newandyke's job was to be Mr. Orange, and try not to let too much of Freddy cross over. Sure, there were elemants of himself that made it over into Mr. Orange. Freddy and Orange were both right-handed, drank at least four cups of coffe a day (lots of cream, no sugar), and they both had an exceptional love of comic books. So, yes, many harmless elements of Freddy that sometimes bridged into Orange's lifestyle.

Other elemants, such as physical appearance, certain tasted, and health problems, transferred as well into Freddy's dual lifestyle. This, unfortunately, meant that both Freddy and Mr. Orange had hay fever.

"huh-uh...heh, HEP-SCHUUU!"

"Christ, kid, that sneeze is bigger than you are!" Larry (goddamit, Freddy, it's Mr. White. he's not your damn friend so don't start using his name like he is) remarked, slightly worried, as Freddy slid into the passenger seat. He had been wondering why the kid's voice had sounded strangely muffled over the phone yesterday, meaning what he had previously thought was just a shitty connection was really due to congestion. That, coupled with the fact that Freddy had not stopped sniffling since he got in the car, led Larry to his next question.

"Hey, kid, you sick or somethin'?" He chuckled. "How'd you manage to catch a cold mid-July anyway?"

"S'not a cold." He sniffled miserably against the back of his hand. "Hayfever."

"Hayfever? Damn, one of my sisters had that." Larry nodded absently in time with whatever was playing on the radio. "She liked bein' outside an all; it's just her allergies were a killer." His eyes left the road and scoped the car. "Hell, I still probably have a bottle of her meds or something in here if you wanna look around for it." A wry smile blossomed unexpectedly as the younger man lit up, digging through the mounds of cassettes and old McDonald's wrappers that characterized the interior of his car.

"Hh-ECKshh't! Hpz-ishk! ISH! ISHUH!!" The sneezing fit bent Freddy at the waist, nearly bringing his head to the dashboard. A hand snaked to Freddy's chest and he leaned into it, as the hand pressed him back into his seat. Through the sheen of allergic tears, Freddy could still see the worry etched into Larry's face.

"Kid, new rule: you stay in your damn seat. I don't want you hittin' your head and ending up with a brain injury or a coma or some shit." Larry's eyes widened. "And wear your damn seatbelt! You wanna die in a fuckin' car crash! You don't know who the fuck is on the road these days!" He slapped emphatically at the side of the steering wheel. "I know these guys in the DMV who don't even test people; they just..."

"Your not wearing your seat belt." Freddy sniffled pitifully, glaring at the seatbelt buckle that hung to the side of the driver's seat.

"That's cuz I'm old. You're young; you've still got shit to do in the world. I mean, I..." He trailed off, as he watched Freddy struggle with the urge to sneeze, nose wrinkling reflexively against his wrist.

"Haaht-SHUH! Ifzch'ue! Eht-TSHU! ISSHU!!" Freddy coughed weakly, the fit having sapped him of any energy whatsoever. He snuffled and curled into the seat instinctively, still rubbing at his red-rimmed eyes.

"Alright, alright. After we pick up Mr. Pink, we'll head to a pharmacy or something before we meet up with Joe and everybody else. " Another heavily congested sniffle was his only reply. As they rolled to a stoplight, Larry leaned over, brushing the hair out of Freddy's eyes. "You're a damn mess." He said softly. "We'll get you fixed up after we pick up Pink." His hand moved on it's on accord, stroking the younger man's hair as he fell asleep in the seat.

In a few minutes, he arrived at the laundromat Mr. Pink had agreed to meet them at. Larry watched Mr. Pink stub out his cigarette against the wall before appraoching the car.

"Hey man, you ready to go?" He stopped just short of the car door. "Whoa, hey, what the hell's wrong with Orange?"

"Hayfever. Get in." Larry motioned towards the door. Pink made no move to get in the car.

"What? What the hell? He's not contagious or anything; get in." He revved the engine in annoyance.

"Hayfever? Yea, that's what my fuckin' ex-girlfriend said. One day, she was sniffling and gettin' snot and all that crap everywhere. She said she had hayfever and that it's not contagious. We have sex and fuckin' kill me now if I'm not hackin' up a goddamn lung the next day, sneezing all over everything." He shuddered. "So, no, not gettin' in there. Unless you keep the windows down; y'know keep the air circulating..."

"You asshole! I can't put the windows down! That'll make him worse!" Larry sighed and rubbed at his temples. "Look, my car, my rules. If I want the windows up, the windows are up. If I want to listen to music, I'll listen to music and you won't tell me what to do in my own goddamn car. Even if..."

"Iesh'ue! Ht-Tssh!" A pair of weak sneezes distracted Larry from his tirade. "Dammit, Pink, he's getting worse. Just get in the fucking car." He snapped. "I don't feel like explaining to Joe why we didn't pick your germaphobic ass up."

The other man threw up his hands. "Whatever." He opened the door to the seat behind Larry. "I swear White..." He shook his head. "...I even feel a fucking sneeze over the next week, it's your ass."

They listened to K-Billy's Super Sounds of the 70's in relative silence before reaching an Eckert's.* Larry shut the car off, the lack of noise strangely waking Freddy. "Shit, man, I fall asleep?" Freddy coughed and stretched, while Pink plastered himself against the far side of the car.

"C'mon, kid, we're gonna get you some medicine." Larry resisted the urge to rub the younger man's back, remebering that Mr. Pink was still in the car with them. He gently pulled Freddy up from the seat and began marching him inside. "Pink, you need anything?"

"Well, get me some of that Purell shit. Oh, and while you're in there I need cigarettes- whatever brand's cheapest right now, I don't really care. Yea, and maybe a-"

"Goddamn, Pink, I didn't know I was gonna get a fuckin' grocery list. If you need that much shit, you can walk in and get it yourself."

"I only need like three things; that's not a list. That's like-"

"Why don't you both shut up." Freddy ran a hand beneath his nose before speaking again. "Pink, I'll get your st-huuuh..." He froze, panting, waiting for the sneezes that fluttered constantly at the edge of his sinuses. "Hnn-uhhuh..." The tickle toyed painfully at the tip of his nose, burning, but not yet strong enough to warrant a sneeze.

"Up." Larry tilted Freddy's head upwards briefly to glimpse the sun. "ESSHngsh!! HPzhish'ue! IT-EISCH!! EISCH-oo!!" He diverted the sneezes downward, in an attempt to keep everyone else from witnessing the... mess he'd made of his face. Larry's arm remained strongly gripping his own, keeping him from falling flat on the pavement and looking like an embarrassment in general. "Alright, let's get this over with." Larry said, nearly dragging Freddy into the pharmacy, with the younger man keeping one hand to his nose.

They left the pharmacy with tissues and allergy meds, Freddy still sneezing in fits of four every few minutes. Two minutes before they reached the place where they were to meet Joe, Freddy fell asleep, snoring lightly with his head angled up against the glass. Larry pulled up to the restaurant and sighed. "Pink, I need you to do me a favor. I know we don't get along that well, but it's for the kid, not me."

Pink shifted in his seat. "Depends."

"Tell Joe the situation with Mr. Orange. Tell 'im I'm gonna take the kid home." He watched Freddy as he shifted slightly. "And tell him I'll call him later about the heist."

Pink offered a rueful smile. "Yea, alright." The door opened and Pink left. "And White?"

"Yea?"

"I'll still kick your ass if I sneeze over the next week."

He laughed. "Whatever. See ya around, jackass."

As soon as Pink disappeared inside the crowded restaurant, Freddy's eyes fluttered open. Larry started the car and smiled. "Don't worry kid, we're headin' home."

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Augh, I can't believe I made a cheesy ending for a Reservoir Dogs fic... FAIL catmuffinz And I just re-read it and don't like it and it doesn't feel like all the characters are IC and...mehh, maybe tomorrow I'll fix some stuff...

Anyway, hope you liked it DayLightStarr!!

Edited January 9, 2012 by catmuffinz

[DaylightStarr]

...

Seriously... I... LOVE...YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God, no, fix NOTHING!!! It was perfect! Do not fix what is not broken!

Ummmmm, okay, I'm done, I think. Yeah, awesome! Very awesome! Thank you SOOOOOOOO much for posting this!

[RSB]

Don't know the series tbh but found this adorable none the less!

[count tiszula]

By chance some strange channel was showing this the other night and I saw the last half; so this story was too wonderful!

Of course, My hero is Mr Pink, though I can see that Mr Orrnge is just about more adorable [all that lovely blood]. No one has ever been able to tell me whether we are to conclude that Mr Pink gets away; but he jolly well ought to. Ooops, spoilers [as if anyone cares by now].

[Lexi]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Fuck me I loved this! I'm such a Tarantino girl, I just finished watching Reservoir Dogs, I fell in love with Mr.Orange (so sexy! might have something to do with all that blood mmm. God I'm weird anyway) then I saw this fic! MY DEAR GOD IT WAS AMAZING. I usually hate allergy fics but this was amazing. Please write more of this fandom! I will forever be in your debt. Amazing, really I fucking loved it.