It's Always Cloudy in Philadelphia

[Anonymouse]

"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" sneezefic. I have no idea where I'm going with this. Enjoy!

---

4:30

Thursday

Philadelphia, PA

A clap of thunder rumbled the brick foundations of Paddy’s Pub, followed by a slightly less intense explosion as the door to the bar nearly flew off its hinges. Dennis glanced up, alarmed, but relaxed when he saw Mac and Charlie shuffling in, soaking wet and looking defeated, their sneakers squeaking against the floor. Charlie’s dark, damp locks of hair were plastered to his forehead. Dennis was almost certain that he was the sole inspiration for the “drowned rat” metaphor.

“No luck?” he asked, running a wet rag around the inside of a pint glass. It was already clean but he liked to keep up the appearance of doing work without actually doing much at all.

“Nah, dude, no idea where he went,” Charlie reported, slumping onto a bar stool and leaning his wet body across the bar.

“Woah, hey, I just cleaned that!” Dennis protested – no doubt Charlie was covered in more than just rain water.

Charlie disregarded his complaint and continued to reach unsuccessfully for the object of his desire – a bag of Ruffles. Rolling his eyes, Dennis grabbed the chips and slammed them onto the bar with more force than was necessary, gleaning satisfaction from the disappointed look on Charlie’s face. “Thanks, douchebag, they’re probably broken now.”

Dennis gave him the most saccharine smile he could manage without pulling a facial muscle. “No problem.”

“We checked all his usual places,” Mac piped in, trying to keep the focus on the situation at hand as he took a seat beside a glaring Charlie. “That weird Vietnamese marketplace, every strip club within a twenty block radius, the sewers…”

Well, that confirmed Dennis’s suspicion that Charlie was dripping more than rain water all over the place.

Mac continued to name every location they had checked but Dennis held up his hand to stop him. “Frank’s a grown man,” he said, though truthfully the guy didn’t always act his age, which itself was sometimes cause for concern. “He’s only been missing for what, a day?”

Charlie nodded but he still looked worried. “I dunno man, it’s weird that he wouldn’t at least call us to let us know what he’s up to.”

“He’s always up to something crazy,” Dennis reasoned.

“Or illegal,” Mac added.

“Which is probably why he wouldn’t want us knowing about it,” Dennis concluded. “I’m sure he’ll come rolling in here in a day or two bragging about how he managed to successfully dump the body of a Chinese prostitute in the Schuylkill River or something. Worst case scenario he’ll call from prison asking us to bail him out.”

Charlie remained unconvinced but he held up his hands in surrender. “Whatever, dude. He’s your dad. I just thought maybe you cared about his wellbeing, that’s all.”

Tearing open his bag of Ruffles, he proceeded to dump them out onto the damp surface of the bar. Mac and Dennis both watched in disgust as picked through the soggy chips, popping them in his mouth before sucking on his fingers and grabbing another handful. Nobody suggested that he wash his hands first because frankly, nobody cared if he died of some poop disease. He crawled around in those sewers so often he was probably immune by now anyway.

“Well, I’m going to take out the trash,” Dennis announced, much to the surprise of his companions. Dennis rarely volunteered for such lowly tasks as taking out the trash, though right now it was definitely preferable to watching Charlie eat.

He’d forgotten it was raining until he stepped out of the bar with a full bag in each hand. The dumpster was only a few yards away, so he sucked it up and lugged the bags over. He was preparing to toss them over the edge when his nose began itching suddenly. Dropping the bags, he steepled his hands over his nose and jerked forward with a sudden, harsh “Ehschh!”

“Gesundheit.”

Still feeling vaguely sneezy, Dennis blinked in surprise and looked around, but there was no one in sight. For a moment he continued to glance around warily, but it was so miserable and wet out that he just wanted to get his work done quickly and go back inside. It was probably just his imagination turning the sound of rain pelting against the roofs into words. Picking up the bags, he tossed them over the edge of the Dumpster, one after the other, drawing his hands back just in time to catch another “Hehschh’uhh!”

At the same time he heard a familiar voice cry out in pain as the second bag landed. Sniffling, Dennis rose up on his toes, trying to peer into the dumpster while taking care not to actually touch it. Somehow he wasn’t that surprised at what he saw.

“Frank?”

The short man sat nestled between bags of garbage and loose trash. When he saw Dennis’s face appear he put his finger to his lips and hushed him. “Shh, I’m hiding.”

“From what?”

“Not what, who. I got into some trouble with Bingo.”

Not wanting to get involved with drug dealers again, Dennis shook his head dismissively and began heading back towards the bar. “Well, I’m sure he’ll never find you here. Stay dry.”

Before he could leave Frank hoisted himself up on top of a bag of trash and tossed a banana peel at his back. “Dennis, I need your help!”

Indignant at having been pelted with fruit, Dennis whirled around and strode back over to the Dumpster. “Oh no, Frank, I’m staying out of this one.”

“I just need you to go over there and talk to him. That’s it, just talk to him. Tell him I’ll have the money for him by tomorrow." He sounded desperate. "I would really appreciate it.”

Dennis wasn’t sure why he agreed, but he did. To be honest he wasn’t feeling all that great, and he was hoping he could shirk the rest of his duties for the day and head home after talking to Bingo – that is, if the psychopath let him leave alive. “Fine, I’ll do it. But you owe me.”

Frank seemed just as astonished as Dennis that he agreed so easily to his request. “Really? Thanks a lot, man.”

“N-no prohh-… ihschhh! – no problemb,” he muttered stuffily, feeling a little agitated now. Sneezing annoyed the shit out of him, and he seemed to be doing a lot of it today.

“Gesundheit. Why don’t you take the rest of the day off? Sounds like you’re coming down with something.”

“I’ll do that,” Dennis assured him, already making his way back towards the entrance of the alleyway and gritting his teeth as he walked. Somehow being granted permission to take the day off made it seem less enjoyable.

---

TBC!

Edited December 27, 2011 by AnonyMouse

[Anonymouse]

There was nothing more unpleasant than waking up to the sound of Dee's squawking.

"Dennis, get your ass to the bar!"

Dennis snorted and sat upright, glancing in the direction of the terrible noise. Fucking answering machine. Somehow Dee's voice had managed to jolt him out of a sleep sound enough to rival death when the phone ringing hadn't. How he hadn't died in his sleep was actually quite a mystery; he could barely breathe, and once he managed to finally take deep enough breath to get rid of that lightheaded feeling it was expelled in a wet "HHPTSCHH!" that left a visible mist floating in the air for a few seconds.

Fucking gross.

Dee continued to gripe to the answering machine, threatening to call his cell phone next and even come over if he didn't get his ass out of bed. He tried his hardest to tune her out, but when he managed to catch the word "robbed" he sat up a little straighter, forcing his eyes open.

"-all because you forgot to set the security system last night! Great job, asshole."

Slumping back against his pillows, Dennis groaned and put a hand to his burning forehead. Just what he fucking needed right now. He'd left the bar early yesterday and never went back to set the security system, which they decided would be more effective in protecting their money than a gun. Dennis certainly learned his lesson from the last time they were robbed, when he'd accidentally shot Charlie in the head. The others were either too incompetent or too lazy to set the alarm themselves, so the responsibility always fell on Dennis. Figures, the one time he wasn't there to do it something happened.

Forcing himself upright again, he felt the congestion in his nose shift, making it slightly easier to breathe. He glanced around the room for some sign of what he'd done last night, wracking his feverish brain for his most recent memories, but before anything came to him a sound like a battering ram slamming into the door interrupted his thought process.

"Jesus Christ," he croaked, rolling out of bed, though the moment he stood up it seemed as if every system in his body was beginning to fail in protest. The room spun, causing him to nearly fall into his bedside table, and his head and muscles were aching as if he'd just run a marathon without training.

After giving himself a moment to recover he wobbled over to the front door and opened it. Frank stood in the hallway, his face fixed in a comical expression of shock. Dennis cringed at his reaction; no doubt he looked horrible. But he also felt horrible, and he did not appreciate being bothered. "What do you want, Frank?"

"Jesus, you look terrible."

It wasn't unlike Frank to criticize his children's looks, but for once he was actually right. Dennis nodded in acceptance of this sad fact and pressed a fist against his nose when he felt his nostrils beginning to flare in what was probably a very unflattering way. "Hihh... ihpfschh! Ehkschh!"

"Gesundheit."

Dennis bit his bottom lip to keep from groaning and fixed Frank with an annoyed glare. Even if the man did look and smell like he was homeless most of the time, Dennis still didn't like Frank (or anyone for that matter) seeing him at his worst. "Is there subthing you wanted?"

"Did you talk to Bingo for me?"

... fuck. He'd forgotten all about that. After he spoke to Frank he went back inside to grab his things and leave when Mac stopped him and convinced him to have a couple beers first. A couple turned into a few, and a few turned into too many, and the next thing he knew he was waking up to a pounding headache and the sound of Dee's frantic shrieking on the answering machine.

His face gave him away before he could think of a convincing lie. "Shit, what'd you do, forget?" Frank exclaimed, looking panicked.

"Relax, Frank, I'mbe sure if the mand wanded to kill you he would have duhd it by dow." He was starting to feel unbearably congested, but he refused to blow his nose in front of Frank. Besides, he would have to retreat into the apartment to grab a tissue, and Frank would probably misinterpret the action as an invitation inside.

"You don't know how Bingo operates. This is a matter of life and death. The last time I-"

"Listend," Dennis interrupted, feeling suddenly irate. Between this cold, Frank's bullshit and the bar getting robbed, there was way too much going on at once. "I don't have timbe for this. They deed be at the bar. Suh... s-suhh- hipfschh! Ehpksch!" He sniffled, pressing the back of his hand against his nose, and continued on valiantly. "Subone broke ind againd."

Frank continued to look nervous, but this time it seemed that Dennis, not Bingo, was the object of his concern. "You're going into work like this?" Before they sprung for the security system, break-ins were actually quite common, and they hardly even fazed Frank anymore - it's not like Paddy's even made that much money to begin with.

He nodded resolutely, turning to grab his jacket off the holder. In all truthfulness Dennis hadn't planned on actually going to the bar until five seconds ago, when he decided that he'd rather listen to Dee's bitching and try to find out what was going on with the money situation than let Frank talk him into trying to negotiate with a crack dealer again. It was a desperate decision, but at least there was booze at the bar, which made Dee's voice and the reality of the break-in situation slightly more tolerable.

Closing his door behind him and double-checking the locks, Dennis turned and brushed past the smaller man. "I've got legitibate work to do, if you'll excuse be."

Frank stepped aside silently and allowed Dennis to pass, watching him make his way down the hallway, stopping once to bend over with a forceful "Hih'ehhschh!" Once he was out of sight he turned back to Dennis's door and began picking at the lock with a bobby pin. Bingo would never think to look for him in there.

Edited December 26, 2011 by AnonyMouse

[Lexi]

OH MY GOD. I love it, looooooooooooove it. You right them so well! I NEED more!

[retrofan191]

So, this is pretty much my favorite live action show. I love love loved this! The fact that Dennis is normally such a pompous, arrogant character, but was made vulnerable like that. It's just awesome

[Anonymouse]

Yay! I'm glad a few people are liking this. retro, that's what I love about writing this. My favorite people to make sneezy and sick and vulnerable are the pompous ones.

---

Just as he expected, Dee was not happy to see him, and she’d somehow managed to turn Mac and Charlie against him before he even walked in the door.

“Dude, where were you?” Charlie asked in his shrill, panicky voice. “We thought you and Frank were abducted by aliens or something!”

“Not we, Charlie, you,” Mac corrected.

“But you said you might have seen a UFO flying around outside the-”

“No, man, you’re delusional. I was just fucking around with you. But at least an alien abduction would have been a legitimate excuse for forgetting to set the security system,” Mac said, shooting an accusatory glare in Dennis’s direction.

Charlie opened his mouth, paused, and then closed it again when he noticed the agitated look on Dennis’s face. Not that it was unusual for Dennis to look agitated, especially when he was being reprimanded, but there was something off about his expression. “Dude, you okay?”

Dennis would have answered if he could. As it was another unbearable tickle was welling up in his nose, commandeering control of his lungs and preventing him from even breathing properly, let alone speaking. He felt suddenly self-conscious as all eyes in the room fixed on him. Bringing a hand up to swipe at his rebellious nose, he managed to subdue the itch with a few harsh rubs. “Fine,” he replied, his delayed answer taking the form of a relieved sigh.

“Good,” Dee snapped, pushing her way past Mac and Charlie and storming up to stare down her twin brother like a bird of prey sizing up a mouse. Dee was definitely birdlike, there was no arguing that, but Dennis Reynolds was no goddamn rodent. “I’m glad you’re feeling fine, because I’m going to kick your ass.”

As fiercely as her threat was delivered it sent all three men into bouts of laughter. The idea of the crane-like Dee kicking anyone’s ass, let alone her brother’s, who, Dennis was sure everyone would agree, was superior in both strength and cunning, was hilarious enough to lift their spirits in the midst of this travesty. “Knock it off!” she shouted, spinning around to make sure every set of eardrums in the vicinity was adequately ruptured. “This isn’t funny!”

“It’s really not,” Charlie agreed, struggling to get his laughter under control, though his lips continued to twitch into a half-smirk, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

Mac had an easier time shifting his emotions. “They took all the money. All of it. Everything from the cash register, some of our good booze, even. And they took the safe. Again.”

“I knew we should have gotten a bigger one,” Charlie mused.

“I said we should get the bigger one!” Mac countered. “You’re the one who didn’t want to help us carry it to the car!”

Charlie began to utter a protest but was soon drowned out by Dee, who supported Mac until he began blaming her for the part she played in the last robbery. The last thing she wanted to be reminded of right now was that scumbag she’d been dating at the time, the very same guy who was making off with cash from every bar in the neighborhood. Their voices rose in an unbearable cacophony and Dennis massaged his aching temples, growing increasingly more impatient with the whole ordeal. All they ever did was talk over each other, never hearing each other out or even trying to come to some kind of agreement. “Shut up!” he yelled, somehow managing to raise his hoarse voice to a loud enough volume to be heard over all three of them. “Just shut up already! You’re giving me a goddamn headache!”

He’d woken up with the headache, but they weren’t making it any better. For once they shut their mouths and listened. Dennis would have been floored if not for the distracting soreness in his throat that the screaming had provoked, and the irritating fluttering in his sinuses that accompanied it. Turning from them, he cupped his hands over his nose, drawing in a deep, preparatory breath that ultimately resulted in nothing. As annoying as sneezing was, there was nothing more frustrating than losing one.

“What was that?” Dee asked, her tone a mixture of repulsion and genuine concern. But mostly repulsion.

“Nothing,” Dennis sighed, trying to resist the urge to rub his nose, though the satisfaction of doing something to scratch the itch would have almost made up for the lost sneeze.

“You’re not sick, are you?” Dee asked, looking torn between stepping forward to examine her brother and stepping far, far away.

“Of course not,” Dennis scoffed, as if the very idea were ridiculous. In truth he rarely got sick, which was a miracle in itself, considering all the unhealthful habits he had. Irregular work-outs at the gym and soy kale smoothies did little to reverse the damage that cigarettes and binge-drinking inflicted on his body.

“You sure, dude? ‘Cause you were sounding pretty shitty last night.”

Dennis glared mutinously at Mac, but the simple act of narrowing his eyes seemed to reignite the prickling in his sinuses. Whirling away from the others, he brought his hands up around his nose, his shoulders shaking with the effort of trying to keep the sneezes fairly quiet. “Ehhschh! Hehhschh’uhh! Hh’ehh… hh’IHSCHH! EHSCHHHH’uhh!”

Fuck, now his nose was running. Thinking fast, he gave his nose a quick swipe with the sleeve of his shirt, but nothing got past Dee, and of course she called him out on it. “Need a tissue there, Sneezy?”

Sniffling, Dennis shot her a bitter look. “No thank you, I’m fine.”

“You’d rather keep wiping your nose on your sleeve, huh? How proletarian of you.”

“Proletarian? This shirt was $200.”

“Oh, excuuuse me.”

“At least I don’t shop in the discount bins at Limited Too.”

“Guys, guys,” Charlie interrupted. “I think we have enough to deal with today without you two arguing.”

Dee nodded in agreement, folding her arms and leering at Dennis. “Yeah, no thanks to this asshole.”

Before Dennis could retaliate Mac took a few steps forward. Though he spoke softly, he seemed reluctant to come any closer. “Den, just go home. We’ll figure this out.”

“Dude, I don’t have the goddamn plague.”

“I know that, but I’m not sure you’ll be much help, plus you probably need the rest.”

All Dennis wanted since he got here was to go back to his apartment and sleep, but he sighed as if he were being forced into something he didn’t want to do. “Alright, fine.”

As he left he found that it was raining again, and he hadn’t even thought to bring an umbrella. “Great,” he muttered, squaring his shoulders and squinting through the sheets of rain that were pouring from the sky.

It was then he heard a familiar voice calling out his name. Turning, he almost let out a sigh of relief when he saw the polka-dotted umbrella bouncing along the sidewalk, but the smile melted off his face when he saw who was underneath it.

[obsessed]

ohhh! lovely.

[retrofan191]

I love how you captured andworked in Dee's snarky bitch tendencys to create a great chemestry between her and Dennis, furthering his mental struggle of being a pompous guy made to be vulnerable. Amazing stuff!!

[Anonymouse]

Still not sure where this is headed. Prime example of why you should come up with a plan BEFORE writing the story. This mess is all over the place. And Dennis is refusing to cooperate with the stupid plan I came up with because it's just way too OOC for him, but we'll see what happens.

---

The Waitress sprinted up to meet him, her polka-dotted rain boots splashing in the puddles. Dennis stepped back, not wanting to get any wetter than he already was, but the Waitress seemed insistent on standing as close to him as possible. She greeted him shyly, biting her bottom lip as she peered up at him from under her umbrella. “Hey Dennis.”

“Hey,” he replied, purposely avoiding her gaze, as well as the use of her name, which he could never seem to remember.

“Where are you headed?”

“Hobe.” Dennis winced at the sound of his own voice, made even stuffier by the cold and the rain, but the Waitress didn’t seem to notice. She didn’t seem to notice that he wasn’t really up for conversation either, especially with her. In fact the only time he enjoyed interacting with her was when it made Charlie jealous.

“Oh.” She walked alongside him, struggling to keep up with his deliberately long strides. It was impossible to get rid of her – kind of like herpes, except with flare-ups that occurred on a weekly basis. “No work today?”

“Nope.”

He was hoping if he continued looking straight forward and offering only brief responses she would get the hint and leave him alone. Unfortunately the girl was as oblivious as a Justin Bieber fan who thought shrieking her idol’s name as loudly as possible during a concert would somehow increase her chances of becoming the next Mrs. Bieber. It wasn’t that the Waitress was physically unattractive, but there was nothing uglier to Dennis than desperation, and she absolutely reeked of it.

Just when he thought he might be able to outwalk her he was forced to stop at a crosswalk. She caught up to him and began yammering nervously about going to some concert on Saturday, but all Dennis could think about was the irritation swelling in his sinuses that seemed to parallel the growing agitation he felt at being bothered.

“Stop,” he blurted out suddenly, without really meaning to. As annoying as she was, he had a problem dealing with those sad eyes she made whenever he shattered her misconception that he was actually a decent person, so he softened his tone. “Just stop for a middit…”

At least she stopped talking, but now she just looked sad and pathetic. He hated when people were pathetic around him. He swore it was contagious – in fact, he was starting to feel pretty pathetic himself right now. “I’be sorry…” he began uneasily. Apologies weren’t really his thing, and it took him a minute to come up with a decent excuse for his behavior that didn’t involve admitting he felt like crap. “I’be having a really shitty day.”

She gave him a sympathetic frown, tilting her umbrella in an effort to shield him from the rain, but she was so short all it did was bump against the side of his head. Nevertheless the gesture was oddly endearing, and he couldn’t help but smile. “You don’t sound like you’re feeling very well…” she observed.

“I’be fide… it’s just sub shit that’s going od at the bar...”

“Are you sure?” she asked, giving him a skeptical sideways glance. “Your voice sounds kind of scratchy.”

The concern in her voice made him feel funny, but not in the usual irritated sort of way. It was like there was a tickle in his chest, but he didn’t have to cough. His nose really tickled, too, and he fixed his gaze on the “walk” signal, trying to distract himself from the tingling sensation brewing in his sinuses. The Waitress began to cross but she stopped halfway across the street when she noticed that Dennis wasn’t following. “Are you okay?”

He gestured for her to keep going, pressing his fist against his nose and pretending to check a text message with his free hand. Within seconds the rain had soaked his phone, but at least the Waitress had turned her back on him. Drawing in a deep, involuntary breath, he crushed his knuckles against his twitching nostrils. “Hh’GNXsht!”

When he managed to glance back up the Waitress was just reaching the other side. She turned to look at him inquisitively and to avoid suspicion he began to cross, though he didn’t felt the usual wave of relief that came over him after a sneeze. With dread he realized it was because he still had to sneeze – but through strenuous mental effort he managed to hold it back.

“Who was that?” the Waitress asked, referring to the text.

“Oh, just Dee… sumbthing stu… s-stupid…”

His breath caught and for a terrifying moment he came very close to losing the battle between his brain and his nose, but he managed to recover at just the last second. In the meantime he probably looked pretty stupid – eyes squinting, nostrils fluttering, jaw falling slack. As annoying as her undying admiration could be, the last thing Dennis wanted was to seem unattractive to her. It didn’t make sense – he didn’t even like her, after all – but that’s just how it was. He didn’t want to look unattractive to anyone. Fortunately she didn’t seem to notice, as she was too preoccupied with staring at the sky. The clouds were beginning to clear up, but a light drizzle continued to fall. “I hope the weather gets better for the concert this weekend,” she said.

“Who’s playing?” he asked, figuring it wouldn’t hurt to feign interest. She kept bringing it up, and they were only a block away from his apartment, so he’d only have to listen to her for another minute or two.

It was a few local bands – The Silence Kit, Frankie No Finger, Sissy Mary. If he wasn’t mistaken Dee dated the lead guitarist from one of them at some point or other. Not that he was particularly interested in his sister’s romantic life, if it could even be called that. Clearly these guys were just using the D.E.N.N.I.S. system to manipulate the shit out of her. And she deserved it – she was only using them for their fame.

“Really?” she asked, smirking, when Dennis told her about Dee and the guitarist. “Hmm… maybe you could come… you and Dee, or, you know… just you… I have a couple of extra tickets since my friends skipped out on me last minute…”

Dennis looked at the Waitress. He wasn’t that much unlike his sister in that he used people, and he was very much aware of and okay with this. But what was he gaining right now from talking to her? Why wasn’t he telling her to screw off and leave him alone? Was it possible that he was just enjoying talking to someone one-on-one, without having some kind of argument or ulterior motive?

Nothing about that sounded pleasant. Yet here he was.

And goddamn did he have to sneeze.

“Sure, yeah, maybe…” he said hurriedly, cramming his fist against his nose the moment she looked away in that shy, predictable way. “I’ll, uh… let you know…”

They were outside his apartment now. His nostrils twitched and he pressed his knuckles even harder against them – just a few more seconds… “This is my place, so… bye…”

“Wait, you don’t have my phone number, do you?”

The Waitress lingered behind him as he dug his keys out of his pocket in a somewhat frantic manner. If he didn’t sneeze soon he was certain his head would explode. It felt like dozens of tiny miners had been burying pickaxes into the walls of his sinuses for the past ten minutes.

“I’ll just get it f-fruhh… fromb Charlie or subthing…”

“And then you can tell him to delete it from his phone as soon as you have it.”

“Sure thihg. Bye.”

“Because I don’t want him having it.”

“I don’t blambe you.”

God, would she ever leave? He stuck the key into the lock and twisted it, but her voice came from behind him again and he paused, gritting his teeth.

“Well, it was nice talking to you, Dennis…”

“Yeah,” he replied curtly, not out of rudeness for once but an inability to say much else coupled with the raw, desperate desire to escape. Flinging open the door at last, he staggered inside and slammed it behind him, his body bending in half as the sneezes finally tore out of him. “EHHSCHHH’uhh! Hh’EHSCHHHHHH’uhh!” His breath hitched for what felt like an eternity – he made the sneezes wait, so now they were going to make him wait. “Hihh… ihhh… hh’ihh’ehhh… ehhkfschhuh! Ehh’HHSCHHHuuuhh! Hh’ihh… IHH’KSHH!”

When it was over he let out a sigh of relief, slumping tiredly against the door. “Goddambit…”

What was wrong with him? Putting himself through all that unnecessary torture – and why? So he wouldn’t sneeze in front of the Waitress? He could do anything and that girl would fawn over him regardless, so what did he care? He probably made himself look like more of an idiot by trying not to look like an idiot. For a brief moment he considered going back out there and apologizing, offering the Waitress a ride home – it sounded like the rain was starting to pick up again, and his Range Rover was just in the parking lot out back – but when he peeked through the eyehole she was gone, and he felt unexpectedly disappointed.

[murphy dee]

Hahahaha...okay, I've seriously spent the last two months watching all 7 available seasons of this show on Netflix three times over. It's just...it's the best live-action show I've ever seen. :XD: And Anonymouse wrote some fic for it, hooray! What a find!

Oh man, everyone seems so in character. I can hear all their voices perfectly as I read. (And oh god the soggy potato chips...I can imagine that happening, absolutely).

And I'm with you on finding Dennis adorable when he's all frail and stuff (like when he "fasted" and then passed out, haha, or when he and (fat)Mac go to the doctor and he starts yelling something at Mac and gets lightheaded). He's a total awful scummy sociopath otherwise (but then again they all are to a certain degree). :XD:

I think you've inspired me...I might try my hand at some Always Sunny fetish fic. Probably starring Charlie because I think he's a mega cutie.

Edited January 7, 2013 by Murphy D.

[Anonymouse]

Hahahaha...okay, I've seriously spent the last two months watching all 7 available seasons of this show on Netflix three times over. It's just...it's the best live-action show I've ever seen. :XD: And Anonymouse wrote some fic for it, hooray! What a find!

Oh man, everyone seems so in character. I can hear all their voices perfectly as I read. (And oh god the soggy potato chips...I can imagine that happening, absolutely).

And I'm with you on finding Dennis adorable when he's all frail and stuff (like when he "fasted" and then passed out, haha, or when he and (fat)Mac go to the doctor and he starts yelling something at Mac and gets lightheaded). He's a total awful scummy sociopath otherwise (but then again they all are to a certain degree). :XD:

I think you've inspired me...I might try my hand at some Always Sunny fetish fic. Probably starring Charlie because I think he's a mega cutie.

Oh wow, thanks for the comment! I totally forgot about this story (and find it kind of embarrassing now that I've re-read it).

BUT YES PL0X TO MURPHY D ALWAYS SUNNY SNEEZEFIC. (Or any Murphy D writing, really.) Charlie is adorable and I'm sure retrofan would enjoy it as well! He loves Charlie (and kind of looks like him too )

Dennis is my favorite BECAUSE he's a scummy sociopath. For some reason that just tugs at my heartstrings when it really shouldn't. I would never be able to tolerate someone like him in real life, but when I can watch and enjoy on television it's a wonderful thing.

Edited January 9, 2013 by AnonyMouse

[murphy dee]

Dennis is my favorite BECAUSE he's a scummy sociopath. For some reason that just tugs at my heartstrings when it really shouldn't. I would never be able to tolerate someone like him in real life, but when I can watch and enjoy on television it's a wonderful thing.

Oh I know! That's why I love Always Sunny so much. I'm pretty sure I'd loathe being around the whole lot of them IRL, but on the show I adore the crap out of them.

(Also haha sorry for the embarrassment, I get the same way when reminded of older writing. XD)

Edited January 9, 2013 by Murphy D.

[Kshu]

This is getting very good, keep going!