The Sneezles

[Evergreen]

((hey guys. let me first explain the topic title, because i don't usually do the cutesy titles... new girl is a show on fox that stars zooey deschanel. she is quirky and adorable, and i think she would say "sneezles". on another note, if you don't know the show, let me summarize. a girl moves in (jess) with three boys: schmidt, winston and nick. my favorite is nick! now, onto the story. this section is longer than my others. hope you enjoy!))

It was breakfast when it happened. Jess sat poised at the counter, picking at her eggs that suddenly didn’t seem very appealing.

“Morning,” Schmidt muttered as he entered the kitchen, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “You’re up early.”

“Or maybe you’re just a sleepy head,” she retorted, staring down at her eggs as she tried to work up an appetite.

“Where’s Nick and Winston?”

“Nick’s asleep and Winston left to go try to flihhhh flirt with the girl at Starbucks,” she replied, a sudden itch assaulting her sinuses.

Schmidt didn’t seem to notice and was digging through the refrigerator trying to figure out what to eat when the itch intensified and Jess snapped forward with a girlish single. Hih’tchuh’oo.

“Bless me,” she called out dramatically, giving her nose one swift rub as the itch died down again. “Don’t you bless people, Schmidt?”

“Huh?” he asked with a yawn, pulling out a carton of strawberries.

“I sneezed.”

“And…?”

“So you don’t bless people? What if my soul got taken?”

“You blessed yourself,” he replied simply.

“But I think someone else has to do it! I could have been stolen.”

“Well, you’re still here. Thank God,” he sarcastically retorted.

“Do I sense a bit of grumpiness? Didn’t you get your beauty rest?” Jess replied in her typical strange manner.

“Guess not. Aren’t you gonna eat those?” He gestured to her eggs.

“I was, but I’m not hungry. Want them?”

He thought momentarily and nodded, taking her plate from her.

“Well, I should get going,” she said, sniffing again as the itch returned. Hih’KTCH’iew.

“Bless you,” he said dramatically and she smiled.

“Why, thank you. I’ll live to see another day!”

Schmidt rolled his eyes but cracked a smile as she skipped towards her room. She was strange, but he had to admit he liked having her around.

-------------

At work, Jess noticed she was sneezing more often than usual. Two sneezes in one day weren’t too unusual but by the end of the school day she had sneezed 23 times and that certainly wasn’t typical. She brushed it off, though. Maybe one of the kids had romped around with a cat. She was allergic to cats.

She didn’t feel bad other than an itchy nose and the beginnings of an itchy throat, so Jess didn’t even consider that she had caught a cold and had assumed the sneezing would end once she got home, but she was wrong. As soon as she entered the house, the itching in her nose began to overwhelm her.

“Hey,” Nick greeted from his spot rooted in front of the TV.

“Why hehh’KTSCH’ieww. TSCH’iew hello there,” she finished, sniffing.

“Woah, bless you. You ok?” Nick asked distractedly, one eye still fixed on the TV.

“Yes. Thank you for protecting my soul,” she replied with a grin.

“What?” Nick asked, his eyebrows furling in confusion.

“You said ‘bless you’,” she answered as if it were an obvious answer.

He snorted in amusement, returning his full attention to the TV. “It’s the polite thing to do,” he said by way of explanation.

“That’s what I think, too! But Schmidt didn’t say anything.”

“Hmm,” Nick voiced, not really paying attention.

Hih’ITSCHiew. Isshhiew.

“Bless you,” he said automatically.

“Thahhh’KTSCHIEW. Thanks,” she said, sniffing wetly.

“Bless you,” he said once more, tearing his eyes from the television screen. “You sure you’re okay? I don’t think I’ve even heard you sneeze once since you’ve lived here.”

“Yeah. Just got a case of the sneezles,” she said brightly, as if ‘sneezles’ was a legitimate explanation.

“The sneezles?” he repeated with a smirk.

“Yeahihhh. I just need to blow my… HIH’ITSCHIEW Nose.”

“Bless,” he mumbled, his interest turned back to the TV where a shark was being hunted.

He scooted over automatically once Jess returned from blowing her nose and flopped down next to him. “What are we watching?”

“Something about deadly animals,” he answered shortly, glancing at her and chuckling at her cherry red. “How’s it going there, Rudolph?”

In reply, Jess began to sing under her breath, “Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose…”

“Oh, for God’s sake…” he jokingly moaned. “Be quiet and watch the shark.”

Jess complied but soon had her hands over her eyes. “It’s going to eat him!” she whimpered, pulling her knees up to her chest. “Nickkkk, the shark is going to eat him!”

He glanced at her and laughed as he saw her only looking at the TV from a tiny gap in between her fingers. “Stop being a chicken,” he joked, grabbing her arm and dragging her hands away from her face.

She cried out jokingly. “No, no,” but soon her pleas turned desperate. “Nick, I need my hihhh hands back.”

“No way!”

“Sihhh… Seriously Nihhh… Nick…” she begged, her breath hitching, although he thought she was just whining. When she gasped and her breathing became erratic, however, he returned her hands and she immediately exploded in a desperate set of sneezes. Hih’ngtschh’IEW. Ihgshh’iew. Hngg’shiew. Tscshuh’hiew.

“Jesus, Jess. Bless you.”

“Thags,” she replied, her eyes widening as she registered her voice.

Nick registered it, too, and he frowned. “I know you think it’s just the sneezles or whatever, but I think you’re sick.”

Clearing her throat and sniffing to keep her nose from running, she sighed. “Mbaybe…” she admitted. “Id’s no big deal, though.”

“If you say so,” he said, still unsure, but he returned his attention to the show which now had a killer octopus. “At least blow your nose, though. You sound awful.”

Jess nodded and stood up, feeling a little dizzy but it passed quickly and Nick didn’t seem to notice. She walked to her room and filled three tissues, feeling sleepy. Her bed looked so appealing but Jess didn’t want to admit she was sick and so she blew her nose one more time and took a deep breath. She couldn’t get sick now. She hated being sick.

TBC

[Icee]

i love it!!! keep going!!!

[zakandsara]

I love it! It's really cute and super accurate. Keep going!

[tma]

Awwww!! Love this show and I can totally see that. And *Loved* the Nick and Jess interaction.

[strawberrylemonade23]

this is so cute! and VERY on-target with the characters. and i LOVE your spelling of sneezes

[Skiffy]

Holy fricking awesomeness- Zooey Deschanel sneezing! (ok, it's only in my head, but still) I love her, and I love that you wrote this, thank you.

[jezebel215]

i want to start watching the show now!

[NoV]

I love the bit where he won't give her her hands back... Very nice story and looking forwards to more.

[Evergreen]

((wow, thanks for all the feedback so fast! zooey deschanel is a goddess, and i have a MAJOR girl crush on her!

i've got a paper due in a class soon, so i'm trying to work on that, but here's a baby update! i'll update some more by friday and it will be a longer post.))

Thankfully, this time when she blew her nose, it seemed to keep the sneezing at bay, but as she sat watching the TV show with Nick, she felt herself beginning to descend into feeling sick. A few sneezes, she could handle, but as her body tingled with the telltale sign of a fever, she wished there was an excuse to go to her room where she could fall asleep and wake up tomorrow good as new.

Although she had hoped to be able to go to her room, she couldn’t fight her heavy eyes. With each blink, it took her longer and longer to reopen her eyes until finally they shut and she descended into the sort of sleep that came when she was too exhausted to dream.

--

It didn’t take long for Nick to notice Jess had fallen asleep. She generally chattered away, and what really told him she was asleep was when a hippo charged a man and she had no reaction whatsoever. Glancing over at her, he smiled slightly and resisted the urge to feel her forehead. He wasn’t the sort of person who took care of people. That was generally Jess’ role, and he didn’t want to admit she was rubbing off on him.

He continued to watch the animal show and let Jess sleep peacefully. He knew she was sick or at least on her way to being sick, and as much as it annoyed him how she was snoring softly (probably from the stuffiness in her nose), he didn’t have the heart to wake her up.

Schmidt wasn’t as kind and as he walked in to see Jess now breathing through her mouth and drooling on the couch, he immediately reacted.

“What are you doing letting her sleep there, Nick? She’s getting her spit on the cushion!” he stated loudly, watching Jess to see if she woke up.

“Shut up, Schmidt,” Nick replied in a hushed tone. “She’s sick.”

“What?” he asked, his mouth dropping. “No way! She gave me her eggs this morning! I cannot afford to get sick. Jess, wake up!”

At the sound of her name, she jerked awake, her head pounding as the light assaulted her eyes. She let out an almost inaudible groan before looking at Schmidt sleepily.

“You drooled on the couch and you’re sick?” he asked, his voice exasperated.

“I’b fide,” she tried to argue only for her voice to come out raspy and congested.

“Shit, Jess!” Schmidt moaned.

“Id’s probably gnod contagihhh’SHIEW. Ihtschieww.”

“Ew! Get away from me,” Schmidt cried, jumping away from her as Nick said, “Bless you”, with a lot more empathy.

“Maybe you should go to your room and go to sleep?” Nick suggested quietly more for Jess' sake than Schmidt's, giving a half smile as she met his eyes, her own bright with a fever that seemed to be settling in.

She nodded lethargically, standing up and swaying momentarily.

Although Schmidt was closer, Nick was the one who stood up and helped steady her, shooting his roommate a glare. “Jeez, Schmidt. It’s not Ebola,” he muttered, his voice tight with frustration.

“Whatever, dude. I’m not touching her,” he announced petulantly, sitting on a chair as far away from where she’d been sitting.

“I’b sorry, Schbiddt,” she appealed quietly as Nick cautiously released his hold on her. Thankfully she stayed upright.

Schmidt had folded his arms over his chest and it took a death stare from Nick to get him to even acknowledge her apology. “Whatever,” he muttered under his breath.

“He’s just grumpy,” Nick tried to explain.

Jess nodded, opening her mouth to speak before her breathing sped up and she pinched her nose shut, Hih’gnnk. Nggxt. Gxt’uh. “He was a gruby head this mordidg, too,” she explained afterwards, sniffing wetly. She entered her room and was just about to close the door when she summoned a little bit of spunk and looked at Schmidt as she declared, “Bless me.”

TBC

[matilda3948]

Oh, this is so good!! And I don't even watch the show!

[jezebel215]

love this! and I did, in fact, go watch all 5 episodes of the series after reading your first two parts :-)

[alpha_dog]

This is so cute! I love it <3

[tma]

Awwwww!!!! LOVING it!! And I *just* noticed that this says M/F , which I was crossing my fingers for. Because I Do love Zoey, but I am a Huge, Huge fan of guy taking care of girl and catching it. :wub: And Nick is just TOO cute.

[Zwee]

I LOVE New Girl. WAY a lot. And Zooey Deschanel is so amazing and adorable. I wish I was her! And I'm totally in love with Schmidt, Nick and Winston. ALL of them are so cute. Everyone in the show. And this is SOOO good! Your characterization is spot on! Thank you, and I can't wait for the next bit!

[daystar428]

Ahhhh I can't believe you are writing this because I LOOVEEE this show!! As in I'm getting pretty obsessed. Jess and Nick are so cute and you have all their personalities down perfectly. You are absolutely amazing and I love reading this thank youuuu sooo much!!

[ilovesneezing]

Awesome. Zooey Deschanel is so adorable, this is good in my head

[Evergreen]

((WOW. thanks for all the feedback. i'm glad you guys like this. the next section is sappy with crying and comforting. i know i do it in like every story, but whatever. maybe i have a little crying fetish, too? haha. hope you enjoy!))

Jess didn’t re-emerge from her room that night and when Nick had to go to work at the bar at 11:30, he decided to check on her.

He opened her door and found her atop her covers snoring softly. He smiled slightly and was about to back out of the room when he noticed her shivering slightly. He stepped in further and gently tugged her blanket from under her, frowning as he felt how hot her skin was.

“Ngick?”

“Hey, Jess, how are you feeling?”

She thought about it a minute, trying to shake the feeling of being disconnected. “Cold,” she finally murmured, before adding. “And tired.”

“You fell asleep on top of your covers… What’s wrong?”

Her eyebrows were creased and mouth hanging open slightly. “Snhihh… I hahhhh…” she tried, shaking her head as if trying to rattle out whatever was in her nose itching it so badly. Hih’KNGSH’IEW. Kishhh’iew. Hngg’STCHEW. Hihhh… Ihhhhh…” She waved a hand in front of her nose, a few irritated tears dribbling down her cheeks. “Hih’KTCHIEW.”

“Bless you,” Nick said politely, his voice tinted with more concern than he’d be willing to admit.

“Thags,” she tried to say at a normal volume only for her voice to crackle and fade into a whisper. She coughed a few times, shivering violently as she snuggled into her covers.

“Do you, uh, need anything?” he asked, feeling uncomfortable seeing his normally bright and bubbly roommate reduced to someone so helpless and pitiful.

“’M fide,” she mumbled, hunching forward a little as she was racked with a coughing fit that made Nick take a few steps closer, his eyebrows knitted together in a mixture of fear and frustration with not being able to help. As she whimpered and took a quivering breath, he had to brace himself to look at her face as she rolled over to look at him. Sure enough, there were tears shining in her feverish eyes as she looked at him.

“Hey, what’s wrong? You’re just a little sick. It’s fine.”

She tried to nod and agree, swiping at her eyes. “I’b beidg stupid, Nick,” she muttered.

He frowned. Jess had done some pretty stupid stuff, but she had never admitted it was stupid. The fact she was trying to write off this as stupid made him worry. “Hey, I’ll be right back, okay?” he said and she nodded, exhaling shakily as she closed her eyes to try to keep the moisture in.

After he was out of earshot of her, he called into work, explaining he had a family emergency, trying not to read too much into it as he called Jess family. It was just the only excuse that would have worked, he tried to convince himself, but as he re-entered her room to find her completely under the covers sniffling, he couldn’t ignore the jittery feeling he got.

“Hey…” he tried to appeal.

“Ndick,” she whimpered out. “You should go.”

He hesitated briefly, partly wanting to be let off the hook but decided against it. He had gotten off work tonight for her. “I don’t want to go,” he whispered as he neared the edge of her bed.

She peeked out of the covers, her eyes becoming puffy and nose bright red. “You dod’t?” she asked with shock.

“Nah, I never pass up watching someone cry,” he joked, knowing that his habit of being cynical and depressing was often discussed.

She let out a watery laugh only for her face to crumple as she fought back a sob.

“Hey, I was just kidding,” he said, trying to backtrack, lingering awkwardly. Why was he so damn awkward? Why had he said he wanted to stay? “Do you want Cece?” he asked nervously, now rethinking that she’d want him here in the first place.

She shook her head, unable to speak, and threw the covers back over her head, her body trembling in an effort to contain any noise.

“You look like you’re about to explode, Jess,” Nick observed simply.

“I’b sorry,” she squeaked out taking a few gasping breaths in between rounds of tears.

Finally, he decided to take a chance and he hesitantly placed a hand on what he hoped was her back under the mound of covers. As she let out a little wail, he retracted his hand as if she were on fire. “Sorry, sorry,” he cried out, raising his hands in a surrender position.

“I miss him,” she cried softly. “He used to take care of me when I was sick.”

“Oh.” That word didn’t feel like enough and he reflected upon his own mourning of his ruined relationship. He had cried over his ex many times, but guys didn’t often comfort fellow men. Jess, however, as much as she tried to be one of the guys was a girl… A girl who had her heart broken by the man she sacrificed everything for, and so he once again broke the touch barrier, gathering her in his arms and murmuring something he didn’t anticipate saying until it came out: “I’ll take care of you.”

TBC

Edited November 15, 2011 by kristen

[tma]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :wub: SO cute!! Love it!!

[matilda3948]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO cute!! Love it!!

Yeah, totally! And I don't even know the fandom.

[jezebel215]

squee!

[The Sneezster]

Awww!

[Zwee]

AWwww... Nick's such a sweetie. You write them all so well! Especially him! This is way cute, I can't wait for the next part. Thanks! Your continuations are pure love.

[daystar428]

Its so adorable. I have to thank you so much for writing this because its perfect because my fangirl-ness is going bonkers about these two super cute lovebirds so adding sneezing to the whole thing is just... AWESOME Way cute! Thank you thank you!

[thesneezingbeauty]

eeeeeeeeeeee!!! This is so good! I love that show, and you write so well!

[Evergreen]

((hey guys! thanks so much for all the comments! i didn't forget this story. i just had ridiculous amounts of things to do for my classes, but now the semester is over, so i'll have plenty of time! this part is short, but i wanted to get you something.))

At his words, Jess pulled the covers away from her face, looking at him with a shocked expression, tears still streaming down her cheeks.

“What?” Nick asked, feeling his cheeks redden. “It’s not like I’m going to sing you to sleep, but I can make you some soup, hang out with you… It’s not that big of a deal, Jess…”

She took a shaky breath, tears still dripping from her eyes, but she nodded, placing her head against his chest as she tried to calm her hiccupping breaths.

Nick awkwardly patted her hair as she tried to compose herself, hoping that this was the right move to make. Girls liked people touching their hair, right? God, he hated when people touched his hair. It was why he didn’t like getting haircuts.

“Thad feels gndice, Ndigck,” Jess murmured, nuzzling her head into his hand and he felt her body relax completely into his.

Feeling a little more confident, he ran his fingers tentatively through the strands, smiling as she made a little murmur of contentment, now only taking the occasional irregular breath as she calmed down. He didn’t say anything, actually under the impression she had fallen asleep until he felt her body jerk twice, glancing down to see her pinching her nose. “Bless you?” he said questioningly, unsure if that was a twitch or a sneeze.

“T-Thahhhgs,” she breathed out, pinching her nose again as she silently stifled two more sneezes.

“What are you doing that for? You’re going to hurt your head.”

“I dod’t have a tissue add I did’t wadt to bmove. You’re warb,” she explained, sniffling to try to keep her nose from running.

Nick laughed softly, tempted to tease her about her stuffy way of saying “warm”, but still a little nervous she'd start crying again, he wrapped an arm around her and leaned forward, using his other hand to grab the tissue box. “Here. You sound gross,” he said good-naturedly.

Jess made a joking whimpering noise. “Thad’s so bmead,” she whispered in feigned hurt.

“Shit, I hope you’re not being serious. Sorry, Jess. I’m not very good at this nurse stuff,” he said worriedly, unable to read if she was kidding.

“I was kihhhhdihhh…” she trailed off, a set of sudden sneezes causing her to shudder against him. Hih’IGTSCHH’hiew. ITSCH’ieww. TSCHIEW!

“Bless you,” he said with a faint smile. He had to admit her girlish sneezes were kind of cute and so was the way she scrunched up her whole face before she sneezed. “You sneeze like a cartoon character.”

She laughed softly as she grabbed a tissue and blew her nose, filling three tissues before she could even remotely breathe.

“However, you blow your nose like a trucker,” Nick teased and she stuck out her tongue at hm.

“You shouldn’t make fun of a sick person,” she joked, making light of the situation but she really did feel sick, not to mention her eyes hurt from crying.

“I apologize. You’ve never looked better. The red nose and pale face and general snotty-ness is really becoming on you,” he teased.

She stuck out her lower lip in a pout only to break her expression as she yawned widely, exhaustion slowly blanketing her. Shifting, she crawled out of his lap. “I’m really tired. I don’t want to fall asleep on you and hold you hostage here,” she mumbled, shivering as she curled up into a ball next to him.

He frowned, wishing she’d stayed in his arms, but he couldn’t blame her. “Do you want me to leave?” he asked, his voice unsure.

“I mean… You don’t have to. You just might be bored.”

“I think I’ll be fine,” he assured her, smiling as she looked at him with shock for the second time.

“Well, if you’re gonna stay, can you do me a favor?” she asked, looking at him through sleepy, bloodshot eyes.

“Sure, Jess. What is it?”

“Could you be the big spoon?”

He cleared his throat. “What?”

“You know, the big spoon. I’m the little spoon and you be the big spoon. I’m cold, Nick,” she appealed and after a moment’s hesitation he nodded, feeling out of his comfort zone as he laid next to her, his heart picking up its pace as she backed against him, her body like a furnace. When she grabbed his arm, he resisted a little, feeling more awkward by the second as she guided his arm to rest on her waist. “Thanks, Nick,” she whispered as soon as she was comfortable.

“Anytime,” he replied, his voice sounding strained as his cheeks flushed with color. He was such a loser sometimes. It was only spooning and Jess was already a cuddly person. This didn’t mean anything. Still, he was happy that she didn’t turn around to see how much he was blushing. He felt even more relieved as he heard her give a little sigh before wheezing breaths that hummed with congestion settled in, letting him know she had fallen asleep. Closing his own eyes, he tried to ignore the sweat on his brow, unsure if it was from the very hot woman curled up next to him… Or because he found the woman next to him very hot.

TBC