Human EMF's have limited warranty

[SexualOddity]

Just posted this over on LiveJournal on Mads3rv3r's meme (Seriously go there, it's amazing!) and thought I'd share it over here as well. This was in response to an AWESOME prompt by Shangrilada. I'll give you the prompt at the end in case anyone doesn't want to know what to expect in the story.

Dean gave a low whistle as he stepped under the plastic police tape, scanning the area with his flashlight, and as the marshy ground lit up in the artificial light, Sam could see why. The soggy land beneath them oozed with a mixture of blood and swamp water across a vast area. Whatever happened here had involved either a hell of a battle or a hell of a meal. Sam scrunched his face up, curling in towards his shoulder, his eyes and nose suddenly irritated. “HuhISSSHA!” he sneezed unexpectedly before he’d even had the chance to bring a fist to his nose to rub away the tickle.

“Sammy!” Dean hissed through clenched teeth. “We’re trespassing on an accident scene here. A little more covert ops would be good.”

Sam sniffed and scrubbed at his nose. “Sorry.”

No sooner than he had stepped over the barrier though, the itch scorched once again in his nose. He just about succeeded in clamping his thumb and fingers over both nostrils, before he wrenched forward in a string of unavoidable sneezes. “Heh-Humpf! Heh-Uh-Mnhpf! Heh-umpchuh! Heh-umpf! Heh-Umph! Heh-heh-UMPF!”

“Sammy?” Dean was watching, his expression a collision of bafflement and concern, but Sam could only momentarily catch his gaze through watery eyes before snatching once more at his nose and twisting to the side.

“Heh-Immphchuh! Ummchuh! Heh-Njdjutch!”

Catching his breath between bursts of sneezes, Sam flinched, surprised to find Dean behind him, a hand on his shoulder.

“Do you wanna wait in the car, Sam?” Dean asked, softly.

Sam could only manage a wordless nod before collapsing again into a fit of stifled sneezes, holding one hand out to his brother for the car keys. “Heh-UMPchoo! Heh-UMPF! UMPF! UMPF! Th… thandks.”

Dean frowned, uneasy, but clapped his brother on the back and set about the search.

***

In the Impala Sam was maintaining a precarious balance of his laptop on one knee, his Dad’s journal on the other and a flashlight in his hand. When he reached in his pocket for his ringing phone he disrupted it just enough to send the computer and the journal crashing into the footwell. He fished for them in the dark as he answered the call.

“Hey Dean.”

“Hey,” came his brother’s voice at the other end of the line. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good now,” Sam answered, leafing through the journal to find his page.

“What the hell happened to you?”

“Beats me.” Sam rested his cell between his shoulder and ear and he held up the flashlight, studying a page on the journal as he spoke. “You find anything?”

“Was it hayfever?”

“Way too early,” Sam insisted. “Did you find anything?”

“Nothing much. Obviously, there was the blood, other than that: hair. Weird actually, there was a ton of it, some in strands on the ground and then loads of clumps of the stuff caught up in trees and plants. Not that I’m an expert, but it doesn’t look like it belongs to any animal I’ve ever seen. I thought I’d bring some back for Bobby to take a look at.”

Sam gave a thoughtful murmur. “You know, that might actually fit with what I was thinking.”

“You’ve got a lead on this?” Dean answered, the pitch of his voice rising with interest.

“Maybe, probably too early to say.”

“Okay, well, I’ll be back there in five and we can swap notes.”

It had been more like three before Sam saw Dean approaching over the hill. He leaned over and unlocked the driver’s door, grimacing and rubbing his nose as, perplexingly, it began to itch once more.

He glared at Dean accusatorily as he opened the door. “Why am I getting..?” he twisted in his seat towards the passenger side door. “HuruuUUSSHYEW!”

“You still sneezing?” Dean asked, concerned.

“EI-ISSHyew! Not uh! still… HuhUSSSHyew!” He scrabbled in the glove compartment for their box of tissues whilst Dean slid into the driver’s seat. “HuISSSHUU! HA-ISSHUU!”

“This just start up again now?”

Sam managed a nod before sneezing forcefully into his cupped hands. Dean watched with interest before pulling something out of his pocket.

“Hold this for me wouldya?”

Sam blinked briefly at the bundle of hair his brother had thrust into his hands before throwing an arm across his eyes and nose. With his spare hand he span the crank to open the window, his breath now vocally hitching. “Huh… uh… uh… uh…” he pushed the hair through the gap in the window just as he lurched forward with an enormous, “Ha-UhEISSHOO!”

“Sammy!” Dean, laughed, hopping out of the driver’s side door. “I still gotta take that to Bobby’s.” He walked round the car to Sam’s side and fished on the ground where Sam had dropped their evidence. When he straightened up, his brother was doing his best to glare at him through the passenger window, although to Dean’s amusement, the effect was somewhat hampered by Sam’s twitching nose.

“Heh-EHUSSSHoo!” Sam sniffed. “Is this somb kindd of a heh! stupid HehhISSHHoo! prandk?”

Dean held a finger up, asking his brother to wait, before walking round the car to his own seat, dropping the hair in the trunk on the way. When he slid back behind the wheel, Sam had his face buried in tissues, eyes watering.

“It’s not a prank Sam, but, you know what, it might actually come in useful.”

“Why dond’t I like the soundd of that?” Sam muttered.

“That was the hair I think belonged to the beasty.”

“Andd?” He scrubbed at his nose.

“You just became a billion times a better tracker.”

“Oh. HaISSH!” Sam twisted to his side to sneeze. “Right. Thadt’s why I didnd’t like the soundd of it.”

***

Bobby greeted Dean as he walked in the door, and then looked enquiringly at Sam as he hung a good twenty paces back.

Sam rubbed a finger under his nose. “I’ll be in in a… HehUSSHAH!” He groaned and sniffed. “I’ll be ind ind a bindite Bobby.”

Bobby frowned, but shut the door nonetheless. “What’s wrong with your brother?”

“He’s allergic to this.” Dean pulled the clump of hair from out of his pocket.

Bobby raised an eyebrow, taking the hair from Dean. “So by your reasoning, he’s also allergic to whatever you’re hunting.”

Dean gave a wide grin. “I know, man. He’s like a walking, talking EMF.”

Bobby grunted as he held the hair up to the light. “Well, it’s not anything I’ve seen before. What’s Sam’s theory?”

“He says Grendel.”

Bobby laughed and pulled out a chair. “Well, son-of-a-bitch,” he said, sitting down.

“What?”

“That’s whacked out crazy,” Bobby answered, turning the hair over in his hand, with a grin, “but I can almost follow his logic.”

“Yeah?” Dean slipped on to the seat opposite Bobby.

“Maybe. I’d need to speak to Sam.” He held up the hair. “If I burn this, will he come inside?”

Dean nodded. “Sure.”

“Okay,” Bobby set the bundle of hair down on the table in front of him, “but before I do, I should talk to you about the ejit plan you got for tracking this thing.”

Dean frowned. “Whaddya mean?”

“If this is a Grendel there ain’t gonna be no easy way to kill it. Legend has it, they’re strong, they’re fast and they’re smart, and they sure as hell don’t go down easy. If you believe the lore, these things kill whole armies of warriors.”

“Yeah, Sam said that too…”

“And you’re planning on taking it down on your own?” Bobby fixed Dean with a searching stare as he waited for the answer.

Dean sat back in his chair. “Well, me and Sammy, two on one…”

Bobby leant in towards Dean, holding the wad of hair before Dean’s face. “Dean, Sam can’t even stand to be in the same room as this. How do you expect him to fight something covered in the stuff?”

Dean held up his hands. “Hey Bobby, I’ve seen Sam fight monsters streaming with hayfever. Plenty of times. He’s not at his best, but he holds his own. You’d be surprised.”

Bobby sucked his teeth. “Unless you were fighting a goddamned flower patch, I don’t think that’s quite the same.” Nonetheless, he pulled a lighter from his pocket and set fire to the bunch of hair. Dean watched him, uncertain.

“Go on.” Bobby said, at last.

Dean unbolted the door and, catching Sam’s eye, jerked his head in the direction of Bobby’s living room. Relieved, and blowing on his fingers to warm them, Sam stepped inside.

Bobby studied Sam as he entered. “So, a Grendel huh?”

Sam shifted where he stood. “I know it sounds a little implausible…”

“Well, not entirely,” Bobby cut him off. “Location matches – caves, marshes, and Lord knows those things are supposed to be hairy. What else you got?”

“I pulled some data on the local area,” Sam fished in his bag for his laptop, enthused, if a little surprised by Bobby’s response. He stood over Bobby’s chair, laying the laptop in front of him on the table. “For seven years now there’ve been disappearances in the marshes, the numbers grew year on year, until eventually, last Saturday, they decide to section the area off and Wildlife Patrol goes in, all guns blazing.”

“And Wildlife Patrol gets eaten,” Bobby finished.

“Exactly,” he brought up a page that he’d saved on the laptop, “and if you look up local legend, there’s a whole load of stuff on this ‘purge of the land’, apparently the people of the village believed that every so often God would pluck out the evil from amongst them. It was meant to be some kind of blessing from heaven, God ‘separating the wheat from the chaff’.”

“And you’re gonna tell me this happened every five hundred years,” Bobby predicted.

“That’s right,” Sam grinned. “Every five hundred years for about thirty years at a time. And the last time started in 1501. I don’t suppose you know how long Grendels were supposed to live?”

Bobby shook his head.

“Me neither, and I couldn’t find a figure anywhere,” he shut the laptop and pulled up a seat next to his brother, “but I’m ready to bet now that it’s thirty. What do you think?”

Bobby scratched his head. “Well, it makes sense kid, but the chances that you’ve stumbled on a Grendel? There’s one of these things every five hundred years, that’s world-wide. Not to mention that if you’d have asked me ten minutes ago I’d have said the things most likely didn’t even exist.”

“They’re in Dad’s journal,” he handed the book over to Bobby, open at the page he’d been studying.

Bobby just set it down on the table. “There’s a lot of things in your Dad’s journal, boy, and not all of them things he had any decent kinda proof of. For all we know they’re just something he researched one time.”

Sam shrugged. “It’s the best lead I got.”

Bobby leant back in his chair, rubbing his fingers back and forth across his lips as he thought. “Okay, say it is a Grendel? How do you two knuckleheads intend to kill it?”

Sam bit his lip, “Well, Dad’s journal says these things can’t be killed with man-made weaponry, so we were thinking flare guns, or Molotov cocktails, if that’s still too man-made.”

“I’d take both,” Bobby advised. “Lucky for you, you can take out a lot of creatures with fire, so chances are you won’t go far wrong whatever you’re hunting.”

Dean drummed on his knees with his fingertips. “Looks like we’re pretty set for a hunt then. You mind if we make up our cocktails and then crash here till nearing sundown?”

Bobby nodded. “Fine by me. I’ll get you some gasoline. Just listen boys,” he held out a hand to stop them as they stood from the table. “If it is a Grendel, you better be sure you’re ready for it. These things are meant to be fast and vicious.” He held Dean’s eye for a little longer than Sam’s.

“We’ve got it covered Bobby,” Dean grinned, “Just toss us some glass bottles.”

***

Dean sighed as he reached in the trunk for a flashlight. “Seriously, I don’t know what you’re bellyaching for Sam.” He twisted the end of the torch until the beam shone out in front of them. “I thought you were psyched to be hunting a Grendel.”

“I am,” Sam replied. “These things are real old-school mythology. I mean, one of them was in the Beowulf poem.”

Dean stared at Sam, incredulous. “You got such a bad deal out of the geek to awesome genetic-split.”

“Whatever,” Sam muttered. “Anyway, it’s not the hunting part that bothers me. I don’t see why we can’t just track this thing the old fashioned way.”

“Because this is much quicker and much better, that’s why.” Dean turned the flashlight on his brother. “How’re you feeling?”

Sam grunted. “Sorry to disappoint you, Dean, but I’m fine.”

“That’s okay,” Dean smiled. “We got plenty of time yet.”

***

They had been walking for a good twenty minutes before Sam began to feel anything, and even then, it was subtle, an almost imperceptible tickle right at the top of his nose. Most likely, he wouldn’t have even noticed, had he not been looking out for it.

“Okay, I think it’s starting.”

“Seriously? Great!” Dean turned to his brother with a grin, which began to falter as his flashlight lit Sam’s exasperated glare, “Well, you know, for the hunt.”

“Yeah whatever.” Sam gave an ill-tempered frown and stomped off ahead of Dean.

A little over ten minutes down the track, however, Sam surprised himself. His symptoms definitely weren’t getting any worse. In fact he was having to concentrate hard to even feel the tickle he’d noticed before. But as well as being naturally relieved, he amazed to find himself a little disappointed. Not that he intended on telling Dean, but the notion of routing around on the ground for tracks or Grendel faeces was beginning to seem overly laborious compared to the allergy method. After fifteen minutes of heading down what Sam was reasonably sure was a blind alley, he thought he really ought to speak up.

“Dean…”

“This isn’t getting any worse for you is it?” Dean interjected before he could finish.

Sam shook his head, “I think it’s wearing off.”

Dean sucked his teeth, thinking. “Okay, that’s fine, we head back to where it was worst and we figure out a path from there.”

Sam agreed, and they backtracked a few hundred yards before setting off out again. This time Sam’s experience was quite considerably different, and he found himself wondering why on earth he would ever have regarded this as a preferable alternative to crawling on his hands and knees looking for Grendel muck.

Twenty minutes in and he could not leave his eyes and nose alone. They were itching to the point of being maddening. He dug a knuckle against his right eye, and twisted it roughly.

Dean shone the flashlight over at him. “Stop rubbing your eyes!”

“Screw you,” Sam snapped.

“What?”

“I came out here and got all allergic and gross because you thought it was a good idea, I didn’t take antihistamines because you wouldn’t allow it… If I want to rub my eyes then I damn well get to.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Okay, Sammy, it’s your funeral. How are you feeling?”

“Itchy,” Sam moaned.

Dean sighed. “More or less itchy than the last time I asked you?”

“Way more,” Sam sulked, rubbing the back of his hand hard against his nose. “I really need to sneeze.”

“Well, sneeze then genius.”

Sam shook his head, “Once I start I don’t think I’ll stop,” he said with a sniff.

He lasted just over five more minutes before jerking away from Dean, his sleeve raised to his face. “HehhuIPTCHuh! HehHIHTCHuh!” He sniffed and gave a long groan, before fumbling for one of the tissues that he’d pre-stuffed into his jacket pockets.

Dean cast him a sympathetic look. “Bless you, man.”

Sam huffed, frustrated and blew his nose. “I hate this.”

“I know,” Dean squeezed his brother’s shoulder in an attempt at condolence. “But hey, looks like we’re closing in.”

Sam scrabbled for another tissue. “HahASHHoo! Great…” he replied, unenthusiastically.

Over the next few minutes, as they walked, and Dean listened as Sam’s sneezing steadily intensified both in terms of frequency and forcefulness. Dean was increasingly on his guard, his thumb hovering over the switch of his lighter.

“HurrISSSHHHA! Huh-HISSHHA!”

Dean winced as Sam stumbled and sneezed explosively into the crook of his arm. “Sam,” he whispered, “We’re close. I think we need to keep it down.”

Sam nodded, his eyes shutting, “Heh-ngght-chu! I knd-kndow… HehEUghf! It just… h-hurts whend Ha-EUGHFFchu! …whend I’bm this badd Heh-eughff-chu!”

“Not long now, Sa…” Dean held up a hand for quiet.

“Nuhght-chuh! Heh-umpf-chuh! HehUmfft-chuh!” Despite his best efforts, Sam curled over in a fit of sneezing.

Dean was deadly still, listening. The second a shadow moved from behind a patch of trees, he dropped the flashlight to the ground, and pulled the Molotov cocktail from his belt, lighting the wick before hurling it in the monster’s direction. The glass shattered and the gasoline burst in a splatter of flame.

Sam pulled out his flare gun, and stumbled away from the beast, but he was endlessly wracked by sneezes that had him bending at the waist and tripping over his feet. Allergic tears ran down his face and smudged his vision.

Dean hurled a second bottle at the now-flaming creature, snatching at his flare guns as he rounded the side of the Grendel.

The creature was closing in on Sam. The younger Winchester pressed down on the trigger of the flare, lighting the Grendel up in flame, before twisting to his side with a powerful sneeze. The Grendel howled but lurched at Sam, clubbing him on the back with a huge paw as he doubled over, the monster’s claws tearing into his skin.

It was then that Dean, able to see Sam fall by the light from the Grendel’s scorching hair, realised what Bobby had meant about the difference between Sam’s hayfever and being allergic to a monster. On a bad day in spring, Sam might sneeze every five minutes, in ones or in twos or short strings, with occasional longer fits. It was the same whether they were fighting or not, but that meant he knew how to anticipate it, and as long as he could cover himself when he was sneezing, things calmed down sufficiently in between for him to make a move on the target. But being allergic to the thing he was fighting, right up this close, there was no let up. As Bobby had implied, it was the equivalent of him sticking his head in a flowerbed in May. Dean’s stomach heaved with the realisation.

He charged on the Grendel, flares bursting from both guns. “Sam!” he cried. “Just keep your distance!”

He changed direction quick as he caught the monster’s attention, and it pitched after him, still ablaze. He reached for another two flares and reloaded the guns, but the monster was quick and it barrelled into him, claws tearing into his side.

Dean fell hard on to the wet ground, one of the guns skidding out of his reach. He cried out, clutching tighter to his remaining weapon, and curled on to his side, aiming the flare right at the Grendel’s chest.

The monster keeled backwards from the force of the flare, shot at such close quarters, and one of Sam’s cocktails hurtled towards him, smashing against its head and erupting in fire.

Dean struggled to his feet, clutching at his side. The Grendel had stopped moving.

“We’re okay Sammy!” Dean called to his brother.

“A-ah HurrASSHHoo! Are you H-uuuh! Are you hurt?” Sam managed, eventually.

Dean grunted, “Not so bad I can’t wait ‘til we get you out of here.”

***

After they shuffled down the hill at the edge of the marshland, Sam stopped and pulled his bag over his shoulders.

“Okay, I thindk idt’s wearindg off.”

“Good.” Dean responded. “I wanna have a look at your back. You’ve bled right through your shirt.” He shined the torchlight over the growing red stain. “Take it off.”

Sam sneezed into his wrist and did as he was asked.

Dean frowned at the wound, but reached silently into Sam’s bag and took out a roll of gauze and some antiseptic wipes.

“S’gonna sting Sam,” Dean warned, biting open the wipe packet.

“HaISSSHHA!” Sam wrenched forward in a sneeze as Dean rubbed the towel against the claw marks.

Dean raised an eyebrow. “We’ll that’s one way to take your mind off it. Okay, I’m gonna need you still for this.” He pressed one end of the gauze against his stomach. “Hold that tight there Sam,” he instructed, as he began to pull the rest of the gauze tightly round his brother’s waist.

Dean reached in the bag for some tape with his free hand and was just about to seal the bandage when Sam’s ribcage started to shudder with hitching breaths. “Sammy,” Dean growled, between clenched teeth, never dropping his concentration. “I did say hold still.”

“I cuh-cand’t,” Sam gasped. “HerHISSHoo! Hi-ITTISHoo! ISSHoo!”

Dean sighed. “You done?”

“Yeah.”

“Then just hold there for two minutes. One, if you’re really still.” Dean rearranged the bandage so that it was tight all the way around and then bit off some tape to secure it.

“Thandk you.” Sam rubbed his nose with his wrist and reached into his bag for an antiseptic wipe. He rubbed it on his hands, stopping in between to sneeze twice over his shoulder. “Okay, let mbe have a look.”

He sniffed and wrinkled his nose as Dean lifted up his shirt. “You’re gondda ndeed stiches HehISSHHoo!” He twisted over his shoulder in an attempt to keep his hands clean.

“Yeah, you will too.”

“Okay, I have sombe stuff ind the car.” Sam screwed up his nose again as he pulled out a bandage. His nose was itching wildly, probably a side effect from knowing he couldn’t rub it. He laid the bandage carefully over Dean’s wound before twisting over his shoulder once again. “Hur-RITCHoo! HITTchoo!” He sniffed. “I’bm sorry mband, this is like the least hygendic first aid ever.”

Dean shook his head. “It’s cool, just get it done.”

Sam finished and secured the bandage, and then, with some relief, scrubbed across his nose with his knuckles as he sank down on to a rock.

“Thanks Sammy,” Dean murmured, inspecting his bandage. He turned the flashlight on his brother as he looked up. Sam was hunched over on the rock, elbows on his knees and both hands pushed into his hair. “You okay there, dude?”

“Uh-huh HuhItth-yew!” Sam wrenched forward, sneezing in towards his knees. “Do you thindk we could take five?” He asked, sniffling.

“Sure.” Dean perched on the edge of a rock. “This whole thing take it out of you?”

Sam rubbed the palms of his hands against his temples. “Yeah.”

They sat there for a good ten minutes, Sam’s arms crossed over his lap with his head resting on top, sneezing occasionally into his jacket, but Dean was beginning to get restless, all too conscious of the need to get them both properly patched up and sort Sam out with some antihistamines. He shone the flashlight at his brother. “Sam…”

Sam looked up, blinking for a moment into the light, before twisting to the side with a sudden. “Ha-ISSHH!”

When he straightened up, Dean was right in front of him, his voice sounding oddly small and tight. “Sam, how much blood did you lose?”

Sam looked up again, squinting into the light. He batted the flashlight away from his face.

“How much blood did you lose?” Dean repeated, his tone more insistent now, but it kept that same odd quality.

Sam frowned. “Ndot endough to worry aboudt.”

“How sure are you?”

Sam sniffed and rubbed at his nose. “Certain. Whatd’s goindg ond?”

“You’re really fricking pale. Too pale.”

Sam tipped his head back and sighed. “To be hondest I dond’t feel too greadt,” he sniffed. “Dunddo if idt’s fromb beindg…”

Before he could finish Dean had caught him roughly by the forehead.

“Jesus!” Dean’s eyes widened. “Sam, you’re not well… Shit. What do you feel like?”.

Sam cleared his throat “Ugh…Just kindda out of it, andd heavy… andd cold.”

“Cold? You’re kidding me?” Dean shone the flashlight on Sam again. He was sweating. “Where the hell has this come from?”

“HehISSHoo! Beats be,” Sam sniffed.

Dean’s forehead creased in thought. “Lemme have another look at your back.”

Sam stood shakily to his feet and did as Dean asked, but he was shivering as he lifted up his top. He tensed as he felt Dean press against the bandage.

“Shit! This is infected Sam.”

Sam could feel Dean tearing the adhesive away and untying the strapping.

“How the hell did this happen so fast?” Dean muttered as he cleaned the wound as best he could and put on a fresh bandage. Finishing off, he walked round to face Sam.

“Okay, we’re gonna go back the car and I’m taking you to a hospital. I don’t know what the hell’s going on with you, but you’re scaring me.”

Sam briefly considered protesting, but in the end just nodded wearily and set off, dragging his feet, in the direction of the Impala.

They hadn’t walked ten minutes before Sam’s legs were getting shaky “Deand…” he began, his voice hoarse. “I’bm really dizzy.”

Dean turned instantly, “Do you wanna sit down?”

Sam nodded before his legs crumpled beneath him. Catching Sam’s other arm with his spare hand, Dean managed to guide him clumsily to the floor, but once sat, Sam didn’t stay there, but keeled over onto the ground, the side of his face splattered in mud.

“Sam!” Dean knelt by Sam’s side, clutching his shoulders and trying to shake him awake. “Sammy!”

***

“Hey,” Dean greeted Bobby with a humourless smile as he stepped out of the truck. “Looks like you were right.”

Bobby frowned and shook his head. “I sure as hell didn’t predict this, kid. How is he?”

“Still out cold, come on I’ll show you,” he turned back up the stairs and headed through the entrance of the hospital.

“They say what it was?” Bobby asked, following.

“Same as we thought. Some kind of allergic reaction to where the Grendel clawed him.”

Bobby shook his head. “Goddammit.”

They walked in silence through the corridors, but Dean frowned as he approached Sam’s ward. “Sammy?”

Sam was curled on his side on the bed, holding an arm out while someone took his blood pressure. “Hey,” he croaked.

“Sam I’m so sorry,” the words jumbled out of Dean’s mouth in a hurry. “I literally just stepped outside to meet Bobby.”

Sam waved his apology away. “It’s okay.”

Dean looked up at the woman reading the dial on Sam’s arm cuff. “How’s he looking Doc?”

“I’m a nurse,” she told him, “and he’s stable, but we’re going to need to keep an eye on him.” She smiled at Sam, “I’ll give you a little time to come round and then I’ll ask the doctor to explain in more detail.” She hung her clipboard on the end of Sam’s bed and left the ward.

“Well, I guess that’s a good sign,” Bobby offered. “If they’re prepared to leave you be.”

“And hey,” Dean jerked a thumb in the direction of the door. “You got a cute nurse.”

Sam smiled.

“So I guess you’re pretty allergic to Grendel’s, huh kid?”

Sam snorted, and then gave a deep groan, clutching his hand to his back. “Urgh, Dean, don’t make me laugh.”

“Wound still sore?”

“Mmhm.”

“Guess that’s why you’re balancing on your side there. C’mere, let us give you a hand to get up.”

Bobby and Dean each took hold of Sam beneath his arms and he shuffled into a sitting position. Dean leant over and propped up Sam’s pillows behind him. “Okay, now, who do you reckon is so hopped up on drugs they wouldn’t notice me stealing their pillows?”

Sam laughed, before grunting in pain. “I’m okay, Dean. Don’t go getting me kicked out of the hospital.” He looked round at the ward. An elderly man sat opposite him, eating something that looked suspiciously like liquefied peas. “Actually, you know what, go ahead. I can live with getting out of here.” He wrinkled his nose at the harsh white paint and spotless white sheets. “You think they’ll make me stay long?”

Dean nodded. “Few days at least.”

Sam gave a long groan. “Why?”

Dean shrugged. “Your fever’s still crazy high, your bp’s low and you can’t get sick.”

“What d’ya mean can’t get sick?”

“They pumped you full of immunosuppressants. Illness really isn’t an option for you right now.”

Sam rolled his eyes, “Well, that should be no problem in a hospital.”

“It’s a restricted ward,” Dean informed him, “and besides, if I see anyone sick coming within a hundred miles of you, I’ll be fricking breaking some sick heads.”

Sam looked over Dean’s shoulder to Bobby with a tired smile. “Should be comforted or disturbed?”

Bobby shook his head. “I’ve gave up asking myself that a long time ago. How you feeling Sam?”

Sam considered this for a moment, “Tired,” he decided.

Dean pulled the visitor’s chair up to Sam’s bed and sat on it. “I’m really sorry kid. The EMF thing was a stupid idea. Next time we’ll track the slow way, and you can dose up on antihistamines.”

Sam tipped his head back and rested it against the wall. “Sounds good to me.”

Bobby looked on, disbelieving. “That’s beautiful boys, but d’ya think just one time you could try learning your lesson before someone ends up in hospital.”

“Are you sick Bobby?” Sam mumbled, not opening his eyes. “’Cos you’re talking crazy.”

Dean grinned at Sam, “Hey I dunno. I’ll try anything once.”

There was a long pause, before Sam slurred, “Okay, next time, no hospitals. Just learning our lesson.”

Within minutes he was asleep.

--

And the prompt: Sam's allergic to some creature that they're hunting, which 1. turns out to be kind of handy when they're trying to track it down 2. gets annoying when Sam can't quit sneezing during the hunt 3. gets downright scary when they both get roughed up and Dean's scratches are just scratches but Sam's are swollen and itchy and weeping and making him really sick.

(Oops... just realised I didn't fully do the last bit. :S)

[Dye]

This is just gorgeous, I love the scenario, and Sam's sneezes are just to die for, I swear... <3

[27jj]

Gahhhhhh. I have read this about a million times now, both here and on LJ. So freaking hot. The part where Sam says he really has to sneeze, but doesn't want to because if he starts he won't stop...and the part where Dean tells him to keep it down but Sam can't help sneezing...and Sam sneezing when Dean tells him to hold still...SO FREAKING HOT. I can't handle it.

[sexygirl1012]

I agree with EVERY SINGLE WORD 27jaredjensen just said. I <3 you TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS much!!! JSYK!

[queenie]

This is one my favorite things I've read on here. Seriously. What a great premise, and your writing is really good too.

[SexualOddity]

Thank you guys for the feedback! And queenie, my goodness, what an amazing thing to say! I'm honoured, genuinely, but I really can't claim the kudos because I got such an awesome premise to work with (and there's a ton of prompts on there, I know I keep saying this, but seriously any writers should really go over there because there are amazing prompts still unclaimed, and non-writers PROMPT - because prompts are so much fun to fill!).

But yeah, so massive credit to Shangrilada. I don't think she has an account here, but she's got some really nice asthmatic!Sam hurt/comfort on live journal: http://shangrilada.livejournal.com/ and some lovely sneezefic on Mads3rv3r's meme : http://mad-server.livejournal.com/56649.html#cutid1

Enjoy!

[LovelyLinda]

Dude, actually I'm not really into sneezy Sam, but this is...is...*_*

I seriously can't find any words! It's so wonderful <3

Thank you soooo much for writing it!

I'm sooo going to favourite this =D

[untiluntiluntil]

Thank you guys for the feedback! And queenie, my goodness, what an amazing thing to say! I'm honoured, genuinely, but I really can't claim the kudos because I got such an awesome premise to work with (and there's a ton of prompts on there, I know I keep saying this, but seriously any writers should really go over there because there are amazing prompts still unclaimed, and non-writers PROMPT - because prompts are so much fun to fill!).

But yeah, so massive credit to Shangrilada. I don't think she has an account here, but she's got some really nice asthmatic!Sam hurt/comfort on live journal: http://shangrilada.livejournal.com/ and some lovely sneezefic on Mads3rv3r's meme : http://mad-server.li...649.html#cutid1

Enjoy!

I am here darlin'. don't check in much, but I exist!

[SexualOddity]

Oh my goodness it's yooooooouuuu! You wrote 'Air' - I LOVED that. I couldn't comment at the time because I was still a lurker.

[flower]

This was really good SexualOddity! Thanks. And so exciting to find out that UntilUntilUntil is here. One of my favorites over on LJ (I'm hmc37 there). I also loved "Air" but was a lurker like you and never commented.

[untiluntiluntil]

dawww you guys. yeah, I abandoned it (for now?) in favor of supernatural boys.

[queenie]

Thank you guys for the feedback! And queenie, my goodness, what an amazing thing to say! I'm honoured, genuinely, but I really can't claim the kudos because I got such an awesome premise to work with (and there's a ton of prompts on there, I know I keep saying this, but seriously any writers should really go over there because there are amazing prompts still unclaimed, and non-writers PROMPT - because prompts are so much fun to fill!).

But yeah, so massive credit to Shangrilada. I don't think she has an account here, but she's got some really nice asthmatic!Sam hurt/comfort on live journal: http://shangrilada.livejournal.com/ and some lovely sneezefic on Mads3rv3r's meme : http://mad-server.li...649.html#cutid1

Enjoy!

I am here darlin'. don't check in much, but I exist!

It's YOU! I'm gabbygrl on lj! Holy wow. I just. Don't even.

[untiluntiluntil]

Thank you guys for the feedback! And queenie, my goodness, what an amazing thing to say! I'm honoured, genuinely, but I really can't claim the kudos because I got such an awesome premise to work with (and there's a ton of prompts on there, I know I keep saying this, but seriously any writers should really go over there because there are amazing prompts still unclaimed, and non-writers PROMPT - because prompts are so much fun to fill!).

But yeah, so massive credit to Shangrilada. I don't think she has an account here, but she's got some really nice asthmatic!Sam hurt/comfort on live journal: http://shangrilada.livejournal.com/ and some lovely sneezefic on Mads3rv3r's meme : http://mad-server.li...649.html#cutid1

Enjoy!

I am here darlin'. don't check in much, but I exist!

It's YOU! I'm gabbygrl on lj! Holy wow. I just. Don't even.

OH HEY!

[queenie]

Thank you guys for the feedback! And queenie, my goodness, what an amazing thing to say! I'm honoured, genuinely, but I really can't claim the kudos because I got such an awesome premise to work with (and there's a ton of prompts on there, I know I keep saying this, but seriously any writers should really go over there because there are amazing prompts still unclaimed, and non-writers PROMPT - because prompts are so much fun to fill!).

But yeah, so massive credit to Shangrilada. I don't think she has an account here, but she's got some really nice asthmatic!Sam hurt/comfort on live journal: http://shangrilada.livejournal.com/ and some lovely sneezefic on Mads3rv3r's meme : http://mad-server.li...649.html#cutid1

Enjoy!

I am here darlin'. don't check in much, but I exist!

It's YOU! I'm gabbygrl on lj! Holy wow. I just. Don't even.

OH HEY!

I know, right? I'd claim it's a small world, except that this implies coincidence when technically I followed a link from the same board where I found you. It's just weird that I fell in love with your fic under two names not knowing it was you, and commented on them under two different names without you knowing it was me.

[untiluntiluntil]

Thank you guys for the feedback! And queenie, my goodness, what an amazing thing to say! I'm honoured, genuinely, but I really can't claim the kudos because I got such an awesome premise to work with (and there's a ton of prompts on there, I know I keep saying this, but seriously any writers should really go over there because there are amazing prompts still unclaimed, and non-writers PROMPT - because prompts are so much fun to fill!).

But yeah, so massive credit to Shangrilada. I don't think she has an account here, but she's got some really nice asthmatic!Sam hurt/comfort on live journal: http://shangrilada.livejournal.com/ and some lovely sneezefic on Mads3rv3r's meme : http://mad-server.li...649.html#cutid1

Enjoy!

I am here darlin'. don't check in much, but I exist!

It's YOU! I'm gabbygrl on lj! Holy wow. I just. Don't even.

OH HEY!

I know, right? I'd claim it's a small world, except that this implies coincidence when technically I followed a link from the same board where I found you. It's just weird that I fell in love with your fic under two names not knowing it was you, and commented on them under two different names without you knowing it was me.

life is so awesome.

[sneezysammy345]

Awwwww. Poor Sammy.