Only A Moron Would-...

[RoseFever]

WE SHALL SPAM THE ARTWORK SECTION WITH WHEATLEY

lolnonotreallythatsrude But I will get something done >

[Graham Cracked]

WE SHALL SPAM THE ARTWORK SECTION WITH WHEATLEY

lolnonotreallythatsrude But I will get something done >

xD Awesomeness~ I shall also contribute mine once they're done ^^

Chapter 7 is currently in the works and should be up by the end of the day.

[sauce]

WE SHALL SPAM THE ARTWORK SECTION WITH WHEATLEY

>.>....

<.<....

-runs off to there-

[curliecatlover]

*runs with Pirka*

[Dye]

*runs and sets up a tent* *shot for spamming this thread*

[Graham Cracked]

[[[The LONG AWAITED Chapter seven!!! Once again, I'm greatly sorry for those who've waited for this for so long, the whole move and death of a laptop sort of pushed this behing a lot. But after replaying Portal 2 again, I knew I had to post a.s.a.p. ^^ So here it is~!! ]]]

Chapter Seven: The 'Escape'

Wheatley groaned deeply as he walked into the next daily chamber. He wanted desperately to be done with the torturous testing, but he still had three more to go through. And after that, he didn't know what was going to happen. He shivered at the thought of it, or just his body weakening more.

"She did say dat I gould resd in dis chamber..." he muttered, conjestedly. His nose felt like it was on fire from the past abuse. He was forced to breath through his mouth, feeling his tongue dry out, wishing for another apple, which he found quite juicy.

As he walked in, a few glass plates opened away from a section of a wall, revealing a tiny bedroom set up. There was a small bed quilted blue, a sink and a medicine cabinate. He looked to it curiously when GLaDOS' voice chimed in his ear.

"This will be your refreshment room for a while. There's some medicine for you to take and a bed to nap in. But don't take to long, I want to keep testing." she said.

"I'll dell you one ding you're desding...by padience..." he grumbled, starting to get sick and tired of being sick and tired. He saw the room as both a relief and a sign of worse things to come if he'd have to get rested up beforehand. But he decided to take it for what it was worth and started for the sink.

He looked curiously to the handles, unsure of which handle to turn. He tried the one on the left, then looked in the cabinate as the water was running. There were some aspirin bottles, cough syrup and a decongestant. He wondered if this was what she had been planning from the start, when he dipped his hand into the overflowing, boiling water.

"AAHHH!! HOT!! HOT!!!" He shouted, pulling away and turning the water off. He sighed as the water drained, then carefully turned the handle to the right. When he felt this water was colder, he took one of the aspirin and decongestant pills, swallowing it down with the cough syrup first. He gagged at the taste and coughed harshly.

"Well...de sduff is properly named..." he chuckled, bending over to drink a quick handful of water.

As he did, the corner of his eye caught something...the sight of the corner walls gaping ever so slightly. He turned off the faucet and stepped over to it, kneeling to look through the hole. There was a long, metal walkway leading to three different paths. He pulled away and called out to GLaDOS.

"Hello?! Dere's someding wrong with dis chamber!" He said, then paused. There was no reply from her, so Wheatley looked back into it. Once he did, his glasses slid off his face and down to the lower level. "Oh, whad?!" He shouted in frustration, then tried reaching down for them. He pulled away, realizing he couldn't reach them, then sighed.

"I'm jusd godda go down dere do ged by glasses, ok?" He said outloud to GLaDOS. As he waited for a response, he started to carefully crawl out of the hole and down onto the walkway. The tips of his toes just barely grazed the walkway when--

"What do you think you're doing?" GLaDOS' voice startled him enough for him to let go and drop painfully onto the walkway.

"Ungh! J-Jusd gedding by glasses...!" he said, finding them beneath his palm and putting them on.

"Oh. For a second I thought you were trying to escape, which would be a horrible idea."

He paused...he hadn't thought of doing that. And what better chance would he get but now? He looked to the walkway's paths. Two of which were going the length of the test chambers, while the third one lead away from it. He looked back up to the room and slowly started backing away.

"Now just come back up to the room and we can continue after you're rested."

He continued backing away, turning around slowly, trying to creep away softly. He knew these areas weren't monitored by GLaDOS' cameras, but he also knew he couldn't make a sound or else he would be caught.

"...hello? Little moron?"

He restrained his urge to shout at her as he continued his way down the path. And all at once, things started feeling better for him. He thought at first, that it was the relief of escaping his tortures. His head felt lighter, his vision clearer and his mind more alert. He was even able to breathe once again, which helped him move swifter.

"...oh, you are kidding me..."

He heard the anger on GLaDOS' voice. He knew he had to run, and now. He ran full stride for the end of the walkway, which lead into an abandoned computer room. He managed to get inside, shut the door quietly and sighed in deep relief, when he felt the familiar tickle start up in the back of his sinuses. The decongestant allowed him to take in most of the dust he stirred up on the way there.

"No no no n-no..." he muttered, holding his breath, both from that feeling and something he saw heading for him.

Coming from the hole in the escaped chamber, there was a long claw with a camera and microphone. She was searching for him, and by how fast the claw was moving, she was mad. He crouched down behind the door, hoping he won't be spotted. But the lower he got, the harder it was for him to suppress the feeling. And worse, he stirred up more dust on his way down. A small cloud formed around his face. He tried bringing his tie up to his nose, but it was already too late.

"Gyeeh-...h-hiii..." he started up. He shook his head and tried to push away the feeling, at least until the crane went away. He could feel his chest start to heave. He closed his tearing eyes and tried breathing through his mouth, but the feeling of the air on the roof of his mouth intensified the tickle. He cursed himself in his mind and thought that if he could stiffle it, the claw wouldn't notice.

"Heeeg-...Ih-Ktch!!" he managed to sneeze quietly, and that relieved the feeling. He turned to peek out the window and saw that the claw was scanning through the window, but a bit higher than where he was. He swallowed and creeped back behind the door, pressing his back up against it. His breathing grew nervously as he unknowingly took in more and more dust.

"I didn't want to do this~" he whispered. "This whole time! I've been her l-little plaything...what good was she getting from thi-...h-hiii...~" he felt the tickle build up fast, his nostrils flaring rapidly in time with the feeling. His head arched back a bit, the dusty scent lingering as he buckled forward thrice in a mild but loud fit. "Hek-CHOOU!! I-Ih-KCHOO!! Heee-...HEEE-CHOOO!!"

Not a second after his fit started, the claw burst into the room through the glass, the camera seeming to glare at him.

"There you are, you sneaky little mouse..." GLaDOS' voice echoed from the claw as it picked him up from the disc on his back. "I had a feeling you'd try to escape before I brought you to the resting point, so I made this room special for you..." the claw pulled him quickly out of the room and back into where he had escaped from. "And don't think you could've escaped, either. That room was your chamber, I was testing to see how long you could hold out in the stimuli."

"You horrible robot!" Wheatley fumed at her through the camera as he was placed back into the room. "You set me up, didn't you?!"

"Just go to sleep now if you don't mind. Your last two chambers are still being built." she said, the crane pulling away. He growled and stormed over to the bed, sitting down like an angry child. He wanted to get these chambers done, but he still felt sick from the past five. He lied down in a huff, scratching at his nostrils and looking to the hole. He fell asleep shortly after distainfully watching it close up in front of glass plates.

[SterlingSilver]

O M G... I have been waiting SO LONG.. I like, forgot about it almost xD.. How dare you leave us on another cliffhanger~!

Seriously though, great writing and I'm very excited for the rest <3

[Dye]

I was just thinking about this fic the other day. I'm SO glad it's updated!! <3

Seriously, Wheatley is just.... dfkhdgkfhglkfj

[sauce]

The second I saw this bumped I mouthed "Holy shhhhhhhh...". Not even kidding.

I missed you, bro. I missed Wheatley, too. <3

[Graham Cracked]

[[[^^ It's you guys that motivates me to keep writing. I felt so bad for making you have to wait, so I wanted to make sure I completed this quickly. Also, I'm gonna need a little bit of help with my next story idea, but you'll know when I post it ]]]

Chapter Eight: The Last Two

Wheatley woke up groggily with a loud yawn. He barely slept that night, still mad at the fact he was tricked into thinking he could escape. He sat up only when the lights guided towards another round door. He rubbed one of his eyes behind his glasses and stood up.

"Alright...let's get this over with..." he said apathetically. He wasn't about to look forward to anything else GLaDOS had planned. He stepped for the door, but it didn't open.

"Hang on a minute, this door is hard to get open sometimes." her voice announced in his ear. He shrugged and placed a hand on the steel door, waiting. He noticed instantly that this door was colder than all the others. MUCH colder. He pulled away, worried about what he was getting into now. "There we go..."

The door split open...inside was something he would've never expected. The ground, all the way up to his knees, was piled over with layers of snow, untouched and sparkling in the room's light. From above him, a small snowstorm added more further into the chamber. There was even a nude oak tree and a full pine covered in a generous layer. But to Wheatley, this was all brand new. He was both entranced and terrified.

"This is...beautiful..." he said, lightly grazing the snow in front of him with his fingertips. "But...is it safe to walk through?"

"In here is another weather scenario that humans have to go through." GLaDOS started. "It's a frozen and crystalized version of the rain you encountered a few days back."

He looked in front of him carefully, lifting up one leg and expecting to be able to stand on top of the snow. He propped himself to be ready as if he was stepping on a high stair, when his foot fell all the way through, causing him to lose his balance and fall face first into the unfamiliar coldness. He tried pushing himself out of it, but his hands met the same fate as his foot. He growled and looked up, snow collecting behind his glasses. He managed to sit himself up enough to clean them, when he looked to the door of the last chamber, then around the whole room.

"So...where do I sleep tonight?"

"You must build your shelter out of the snow to prevent the wind from freezing that body."

"Build a house of snow?! How exactly is that going to keep me warm?" he said, unfamiliar with the igloo concept.

"It'll keep the hot air from your head in a controlled space." she sighed, then cut off her line.

"HEY!! Can't you just answer me reasonably for once?" He growled, then slapped at some of the snow with his hand.

As he did, he felt how light and packy the snow was. He paused briefly, looking to the left of him and picking up a handful of snow. Some fell through his fingers, while the rest he pressed together, making his first snowball. He giggled a bit and looked around, spotting how close the oak tree was to his range. He struggled a bit to his feet and tightened the snow on the snowball, readying his arm for a throw. And once he did, it hit the tree square in the center, sending most of the snow on it down to the ground.

"Yeah!!" he shouted in child-like triumph. "Three points!" He smiled to himself, then looked up to the snow falling from above. It was only then that he felt the chill of the room. He wrapped his arms around his chest and spotted where he would make the igloo. He still wasn't sure of how it would help, until a gust of icy wind made him realize.

"O-Oh...w-w-walls to stop th-the wind..." he thought, then decided to get to work now. "Let's see..."

He started by trying to push away the snow around his feet to see how much he would be able to build with. He picked up an arm's width chunk of snow and placed it on the higher level next to him. He continued building like that for a while when he realized he had nothing for the roof, where the snow was still filling in. He dug himself a few steps out and started gathering more snow.

As he picked up one batch, the wind started to pick up more. The snow he was building with had seeped into his clothes. He had inadvertantly started shivering, the irritatingly familiar feeling starting up again in his nose.

"Oh, c-come on, not yet!" He growled, unable to rub it with the snow he was carrying. He wanted to at least make it back to his makeshift home, but his sinuses had other ideas.

The feeling grew as he took hasty breaths, a tickle starting as it began to run. That new feeling made him shudder. His eyes went half shut as his brow twitched above his equally twitchy nose. His breath hitched, and with his hands preoccupied with carrying his roof, he couldn't stop himself. The tickle grew faster with each breath he took, until his nose had enough.

"Heee-...HEEE-TCHOOOF!!! Iiiihiiii-KCHUU!! H-Haaak-CHOO!!!" As he sneezed, his body shook, the snow in his grasp falling out in small chunks. But since he couldn't do anything for his nose, the feeling didn't go away, at worse, it grew to a point he didn't feel before.

He started panting. His head tilted back, his nostrils flaired and his eyes shut tight. The cold wind filled his sinises with a small gust. He clenched what was left of his snow roof, his body shivering in a literal frozen state. The tickle grew throughout his nose, and all it took was a stray snowflake to fly inside to push him over the edge.

"Gyeee-HAAAAA-KCHOOOOO!!!! IIIIHH-TCHOOO!!!!" he abandoned the snow mid-fit and cupped his hands around his nose, if only to prevent the feeling from getting worse. His eyes squinted with tears to see his ditch and he staggered for it, to get out of the wind. "IIIT-TCHUUU!!! Heee...HEK-CHOOU!!!" he managed to get inside and pushed himself against one of the snow walls, sniffling and rubbing his nose with his tie again. "Hee-KCHUUU!!...Ugh...Heee-...Iiihhh-CHOO!!!" his sneezing fit slowly eased as his body warmed away from the wind above. Snow still managed to fall into it, but to him, it was better than being out there again. He sniffed against his tie and wiped his eyes, looking up.

"O-...Only one day le-...HEK-CHOO!...one...day left..." he sneezed, staying inside for the rest of the day.

[Dye]

Hot damn, this is just.... daaamn.

<3 Such a fast update!

[Graham Cracked]

[[[Final chapter! I wanted to get this one posted before I start up my TF2 idea ^^ Thank you to everyone who's been supporting this story and for being so patient. This chapter's a bit longer, but it's mostly to finish up everything.]]]

Chapter Nine: Get Me Out Of Here!

The night was long for Wheatley. Not once during the week of testing did he get a good night sleep. But this was the final day. He stirred out from beneath the blanket of snow that formed over him. Silently, he crawled out of the hole and for the door.

"Here is your final test." GLaDOS' voice chimed in the silence. Wheatley nodded and stood in front of the door as it opened. He walked in through the darkness and stopped on top of a button. As the lights turned on, he saw something almost comfortingly familiar...

The room was the first one he was taken to...where he became human for the first time. He looked to the left of the long chamber and saw his old core self, off and on top of a suspention tube. His eyes widened, and with a burst of motivation and energy, he ran for it.

"Hold on a minute...we're not done with testing~..."

Just before Wheatley got to his core, the floor opened up beneath him. He dropped to the new ground beneath him. He was only waist deep in the floor, but before he could climb out, four glass plates trapped him inside. He tried banging on the glass to get out.

"I'm right there!! Just let me go, please!" he shouted, looking up to one more glass plate covering the top.

"In just a few minutes, you'll be back to your old self again. But for now, let's try one more stimuli..."

As she said that, the roof of the test chamber opened up, allowing her to descend slowly. She looked to him with her single glowing yellow eye as a tube made its way for the box he was inside.

"You've been through practically all allergenic and climate stimuli that a normal human encounters almost everyday. Your system has either gotten stronger from it, or your stupidity will keep it to the point of no hope or return. Deep breaths now..." the tube replaced the top glass plate as she spoke. "If you can manage to stay in here for five minutes without reacting to the stimuli, you can return to your core...if not, it'll be another week of testing until you can last."

His eyes widened as the tube started making noise. He had no idea if he could maintain for that long. He could barely last a minute without sneezing from the dust while hiding from her. He looked to the clock that lit up on the wall by him as it started counting down by the milliseconds.

The first minute counting down, GLaDOS sent in samples of the tree pollen from the first chamber. Instantly, his nose started to itch, and he brought his tie to his nostrils. As soon as he did, a claw reached up from the panel beneath him and grabbed the thick cloth, ripping it off of the blue gem holding it.

"Wh-What?!" he jumped, trying to grab it back, but he was too slow.

"That would be cheating, making this test moot." GLaDOS responded as the claw disappeared with his tie. His disc also responded by keeping his arms down and away from his face.

"Ugh!! This...isn't fair~!" Wheatley shuddered in his sentence, feeling the pollen tickle his sinuses. He grit his teeth and swallowed hard, trying to ignore the feeling. He glanced to the clock and saw the minute was halfway done. He took deep breaths as ordered and felt it getting worse. His eyes watered and he tried bringing his hands up, the disc acting like restraints he couldn't see.

"And 3...2...1..." GLaDOS counted down the last few seconds of the first minute. Shortly after, the tree pollen stopped. Wheatley felt a bit relieved and he sighed, happy he got through the first minute, but nervous about what was next.

The air from the tube now grew colder, and a mix of rain and snow started hitting him in the face. He shivered and winced at the feeling, his nose starting to run. He coughed a bit at first to divert the feeling, but it started growing once again. At this point, he felt his breath hitching.

"Ghh...h-hiii..." he started. GLaDOS peered in, almost happily watching the torture. He shook his head and growled, his chest heaving. He sniffled once, which brought the feeling back deeper into his sinuses. "Heee-...a-ahhh...~"

The tickle intensified as some of the snow that hit his face melted down his cheek and nose, which were both reddening deeply. His head lowered and he started panting, his need to sneeze starting to grow desperate. His nostrils flaired and twitched as his nose tried to fight his willpower.

"Gyeee....h-heee...n-no no no..." he tried focusing as much as he could, then the sleet slowed down. He had barely paid attention to the time, and he saw there were only three minutes left. He sniffled again to push back the feeling, but his congestion started up again, making it harder for the sneeze to be ignored.

With his nose still twitching and his body drenched, the new stimuli pumped from the tube. It was the ragweed pollen this time. He remembered the plant inside his nose dancing, stroking and tickling every inch of his nostril, along with the pollen irritating him to the point of one of his worse fits. His nostrils flaired almost immediately just from the memory of the feeling, his breath starting to hitch as pollen floated straight up and to the back of his nose. As it did before, all he felt was the pollen teasing him, but with how much he already went through, that was enough to coax a sneeze close to the edge.

"Heee-...Hek--..." he almost lost it, but he grit his teeth down hard, holding it back as much as he could. He started to try to breathe through his mouth, but as the disc did with his arms, it seemed almost impossible for him to inhale through his mouth. With his body's panic for oxygen, he continued to breath through his irritated and teased nostrils. The pollen started to itch the inner rims of his nostrils, and he tried to ease that by shaking his head again. But that caused the pollen inside his sinuses to bounce about, tickling him worse. "H-Haaa....k-kyeehhh..." Swallowing once again, he didn't think he was going to make it. He was just about to give up and go into his inevitable sneezing fit when the timer buzzed, announcing the last two minutes now.

He sniffled as the pollen stopped, but a familiar scent was about now. One he dreaded from the start and knew she was saving for the last. He looked up to confirm it. From the tube, huge plooms of dust started filling the room. Right away, it stung his sinuses and made his nose grow more desperate. He started to uncontrollably inhale streams of dust into each nostril. His chest pulsed and he started hitching, his head tilting back and mouth agape.

"Hyeeehhhh--...ihhhh...h-haa-...haaaaa~..." Wheatley tried at his most to keep his focus. His nose ran and loosened the past allergines as well, pushing him further and further to the edge. "HEEEEE---....I-IIIIHHHH-!!!" The timer counted down to the final minute, however...

"HEEEEK-CHHHOOO!!! IIIIIHH-KCHUUUU!!!! HYAAAAA-CHOOOO!!! KEHH-TCHOOO!!!"

Wheatley sneezed. Over and over. He knew he lost, but at this point it didn't matter. He needed relief. GLaDOS watched his fit as she pulled away the tube and glass plates, lifting him up to level.

"Heeek-CHOUF!!!" he covered his mouth, freed from the restraint of the disc. The claw that had stolen his tie before rose from the ground, holding it back to him. He grabbed it quickly and blew his nose into it, sneezing several more times as the tie had some dust left on it. "Ihhh-CHOUU!! HEK-CHOO!!"

"Your testing is complete...please step into the suspention tube..." GLaDOS spoke in her robotic monotone.

"Wh-...H-Huh?" He looked up, baffled briefly. He looked to the tube and saw the door sliding open to it. He looked back to her, wiping his teary eyes. "W-What about...that whole 'Another week if I fail'?"

"That was the final test. Motivation. Something that you need to put up with other test subjects. You have to give them motivation whether it matters or not. I don't know of your likeness for sweets, so cake was out of the picture for your motivation. So a series of strenuous testing was to build your determination to get through it all, and this test was to see how long you can take it when the chips are down, so humans say." She turned for the tube and brought up a button in front of it. "Now go and push that so you can return to your core."

He took in everything she was saying, and she had a point with all of it. He felt himself walking for the tube, then looked to the button and brought up his hand.

"Heh..." he giggled. "...my first test..."

He pushed the button, then stepped inside of the tube. He turned and waited as the glass door shut. He caught a glimpse of his reflection and thought of something he didn't think he would.

"I'm gonna miss this body..." he muttered as the tube filled up with suspension liquid. Before it came up to his face, a gas was released that brought him unconscious...

Moments later, his bright blue eye blinked. He was back in his core, being held by a crane next to GLaDOS.

"You have done well..." she said. "This body is going to be incinerated now, but he will go on the record of being a successful test subject." As she spoke, she reattached him to his conveyer. "Remember what you learned about test subjects. It will do you good in the future."

He looked to her, unsure of what she meant, but she took her lesson anyway. He nodded softly.

"I will." He spoke, happy to go back and observe the living status of others, like him.

[SapphireSong]

Hoooooly........ @@_@@

My dear OinaGirl.... I think you broke my brain This is BRILLIANT!!! I am SO SO SO glad it got resurrected so I could read it!!

LOL I've never played anything from the Portal series, but upon reading this fic I went to find clips of the characters' voices and .... hnnggg.... This made me sooo happy it's not even funny This scenario is one of my absolute favorites - angst and sneeze-torture for a non-human guy Seriously, this made my day! Thanks for writing this - I look forward to reading more of your work!

[Graham Cracked]

Hoooooly........ @@_@@

My dear OinaGirl.... I think you broke my brain This is BRILLIANT!!! I am SO SO SO glad it got resurrected so I could read it!!

LOL I've never played anything from the Portal series, but upon reading this fic I went to find clips of the characters' voices and .... hnnggg.... This made me sooo happy it's not even funny This scenario is one of my absolute favorites - angst and sneeze-torture for a non-human guy Seriously, this made my day! Thanks for writing this - I look forward to reading more of your work!

o.o Hope your brain fairs out xD

Thank you for following it even after the hiatus. ^^ I do it for you guys~

[Dye]

AND ANOTHER UPDATE SO QUICKLY OH THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH

*glomphuggle* I-I'll just be taking Wheatley, now, if you don't mind.... >D

[SneezyPony]

This is so flipping amazing

[Ignis]

This was so great aaaaaaaaaaa! I especially loved the bits with Wheatley rubbing his nose with his tie You got both of their characters spot on. That part where GLaDOS was angry. Perfect !