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Graham Cracked

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[[[Hehehehehehe...I'm so evil!!! :( ]]]

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GLADOS! What you doin'!? >:innocent:

Despite all of the awesome things about this chapter, I think my favourite part is the title. THIS IS THAT PART.

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Despite all of the awesome things about this chapter, I think my favourite part is the title. THIS IS THAT PART.

I KNEW you'd like that! I'm trying my best to keep the chapter names along the theme of Portal 2's chapters. xD

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Yay new update! so GLaDOS is doing this on purpose. GLaDOS you evil genius! Perhaps GLaDOS is one of us.

Love how you made him read machiavelli. So in portal 2 he was telling the truth!

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  • 4 weeks later...

Oh my...You should have HEARD the sound I made when I saw the title of this chapter. Why? Because it was a mix between a laugh and a squeal. I...I don't even know anymore...-snuggles the poor, sniffly Wheatley while continuing to write her own fic which can't even begin to compare to yours...-

Edited by Forgotten Sorceress
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AW MAN I REALLY WISH I SAW THIS SOONER

Sneezing + Human Wheatley = JUST.....WOW... :wub:

DORFUBGSODFUBGSOBGF WHEATLEYYY <33333333333333333

MOREMOREMOREMOREMOREMORE

...IkindawanttodrawsomesickWheatley...

Edited by Aeger
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Oh maaa.. :wub::laugh::D:drool::drool::drool: I've never even heard of Portal, but I saw the pictures and.... and saw the video on Youtube with his voice and I was just.. :boom: PLEEEEASE continue!! Wheatley is just to beautiful to NOT be tortured!!!!! Yay for sexy british voiced robots who get transfered into humans bodies!!! :laugh:

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Oh my god, I really want to get Portal 2 now...

Asdfghjkl WHEATLEY. Y'know, I heard his voice on a thing on YouTube, and I thought 'he sounds like the bloke off the Barclays adverts'. So I looked him up. I WAS SO RIGHT. Those ads are awesome, and if people aren't in the UK and haven't seen them, look them up.

But I should stop rambling. This fic is amazing, and I'm really looking forward to the next part.

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I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING, THIRDTWIN YOU ALSO WROTE THAT EDGEWORTH ALLERGY FIC BACK THEM FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF :wub: DANG WOMAN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH <33333333333 :(:laugh:

*lurks in the stoires, for now ThirdTwin is her favorite fic author >w>*

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I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING, THIRDTWIN YOU ALSO WROTE THAT EDGEWORTH ALLERGY FIC BACK THEM FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF :drool: DANG WOMAN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH <33333333333 :(:drool:

*lurks in the stoires, for now ThirdTwin is her favorite fic author >w>*

Not only that. There's even more! 8D (lol I sound like Billy Mays)

SUPERJAIL!

GIDEON FROM SCOTT PILGRIM! (This one might have been my fault. I REGRET NOTHING.)

lol sorry Azu if I'm being a gushy derp

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WHY DO I LOVE ALL THESE CHARACTERS <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 JESUS ITS LIKE THIS GIRLS READING MY MIND

Hey, thanks for the tip Pirka ;D

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[[[O.O OH MY GOD!!! I didn't know I had such epic fans!! I love you guys! Yes, I did do the Edgeworth allergy fic, cause in the Phoenix Wright manga, it's stated that he has pollen allergies. That sort of triggered my start, as well as a Metal Gear Solid sneezefic with Otacon. But enough about my past stories, I wanna write this next chapter now. Once again, I love everyone who has left such kind and dear comments. It's your support that's keeping me going! If I could, I'd give everyone a giant cookie and a hug. ^^ And a stuffed panda. Cause they rock. :) Sorry if this chapter is short. I'm in a bit of a rush to write this. The next one will be much better, I promise!!]]]

Chapter Six: The Real Test

Wheatley was left immobilized by the gear on his back. His arms were firm against his sides. His knees were bent on the ground, leaving him sitting kotatsu style. And his head was tilted back slightly, his reddening, twitching nose in the dust filled air around him. His eyes watered as he felt himself breath in each particle. He felt them all. GLaDOS finally spoke out into his ear.

"The real reason of why you're here is to test different weaknesses of the human body. The primary one for this body was his severe allergies to practically everything..." she stated. "...he hardly got past getting one half of the portal device before he went into a fit and...well...became an ex member of the Being Alive Club..."

"Wh-...Whad...d-do y--heeeee..." Wheatley tried to speak out before feeling his sinuses start to burn with the overfilling dust, along with his current cold and lingering pollen allergies.

"This body is a perfect test subject to see what would be a preferred test chamber. I made you go through the body's allergines to see just how severe they would get when he went through them. You were the perfect core to use on him, too. You have to learn the weaknesses of humans if you're going to work with them as they test...or else, they will never finish with the experiments. Science for science you could say..." GLaDOS' voice changed to a lighter tone as the fans began to speed up and release their own amount of dust to add to his suffering. "Anyway, I've been talking too long...let's get going with the test...deep breaths...remember that." With that, her communications clicked off.

As it did, the fans forced down more dust to poor Wheatley. He looked up to it with tearing eyes and twitching nostrils. His breathing became irregular as he began to speak to himself.

"Wh-...Why d-diiiiihiiiiii...hiiiid....I ag...agreeeeee--HEEE-CKUUU!!" his head shot forward for a moment, but then straightened back up, being controlled by the disc on his back. "...d-did I...agree...t-t-toooohoo...th--this...?" He snivelled, wanting desperately to scratch his itchy, tickly nose. He had never felt this way before, and wondered just how other humans could put up with it.

While he thought about it, the fans seemed to slow down a bit. He watched them curiously, then noticed the ground was beginning to change. It turned to a similar green that was in the first test chamber, but it was only the floor, where the walls were still glass plates with broken bookshelves. The green grass seemed to grow around him. The disc allowed his head to move around and see what was going on.

Slowly, a vine of ragweed began to grow up his left side. It crawled menicingly up his leg, then his arm, wrapping around him loosely and coiling up to just beneath his chin. The disc forced him to inhale deeply from his nose the instant the ragweed released its pollen.

"Uuuuuhhh....H-Hee...iiiiiiigya...." Wheatley began to sniffle, his eyes shutting tight and brow twitching. The ragweed moved up along to the skin between his nostrils, stroking it lightly back and forth like a mother tickling her baby's chin. "Iiiiiiiiihh...h-heeeee...." He formed fists and tried resisting the feeling, but it was a lost effort once the ragweed shot up his left nostril, teasing his sinuses. "IIIIHHHHH---HHEEE-CHOOO!!! Iiiiiihh...HEE-KCUUUUF!!! Ughhh...Hee--HEEE-CHOOO!!!!" His body trembled with each sneeze, but the ragweed remained teasing him inside of his nose. With each inhale from his sneezing, the weed sailed deeper and deeper into his sinuses, teasing him that much more. "AHHHHHG-CHIIIUUUU!!! HEEE-KCUUUUff UUUG-HUUU!!!" Wheatley sneezed over and over, hoping one of them would get rid of the plant tickling his nose.

As he was mid-fit, GLaDOS' voice chimed in once again.

"Oh, so that's another one confirmed." she muttered, followed by a sarcastic imitation of a pen writing on paper. "Now then...let's see what else is on the list."

Once she said that, all of the pressure on Wheatley's body was relieved. The ragweed dried up and died, falling to the ground next to him. He quickly sneezed and scratched his nose with his blue tie as his kerchief. His eyes were a deep red, but not as bad as his nose had become. He blew hard enough to relieve some of his conjection before talking to her once again.

"Why....a-are you d-doing dis, l-lady?" he asked, standing up slowly.

"I already told you. We're trying to see what can't be used in proper testing areas." GLaDOS said, hiding the fact it was mostly for her own entertainment. She opened up a circular door across from him. "There is your next chamber...I'll give you a break in here for you to recover. I need your body to be well before the last three chambers..."

"...g-g-great..." Wheatley snivelled before swaying back and forth, the disc on his back directing him through his blurred vision. "I-I...c-can't wait..."

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ThirdTwin - Absolutely BRILLIANT update.. oh the ragweed... ergh..makes me cringe just to think about it. I love this.. please continue soon! :)

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;) Poor Wheatley! It must be torture!......I love it! <3 XDDD I could read this story for hours on end! :lol:

I'm gonna continue to draw to this, ;D If'n you don't mind.

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O.O

I.

Love.

All of you.

;):lol: :lol: :wub::bleh:

HoNK, I'm so unbelievably honored that you're willing to draw out Wheatley for me! If I could death hug you, I would! But then...you'd be dead...>> n-never mind that then. xD

It's these epic responses that keeps the story going. I'll try my best to continue this as soon as possible! <3 you all!!!

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OMNGNJKRKJGJNK NEW CHAPTER!! WORTH. THE. WAIT.

...

...

oh my god the ragweed part.

I don't know whether to berate you for torturing Wheatley or be IMPOSSIBLY HAPPY.

...It is the latter lol nyoro~n

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Oh, you might be insanely pissed or cackling like a madman for my next chapter. I'm going all out on this one. >xD

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Hmhmhmh <3 No problem, mam. The only hard part is getting onto the computer to draw ;) Parents and whatnot. Do you have any part in particular? (Cus I'm liking the ragweed thing, but if the next chapter is gonna be like ZOMFGWTFBBQLOVELOVELOVE, thenn.....) Well; still; I cant wait to see the new chapter *eagerly waits* :>

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Poor Wheatley :lol: Hmm... GlaDos does like her testing doesn't she? ;) Can't say I object too much to her current research subject. :innocent:

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Oh my god! New update! Totally agree, so worth the wait. ;)

The ragweed praticaly holding him, forcing him to sneeze <3.

Wow so much Wheatley stuff lately..... Not that I'm complaining :lol:

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Hmhmhmh <3 No problem, mam. The only hard part is getting onto the computer to draw :( Parents and whatnot. Do you have any part in particular? (Cus I'm liking the ragweed thing, but if the next chapter is gonna be like ZOMFGWTFBBQLOVELOVELOVE, thenn.....) Well; still; I cant wait to see the new chapter *eagerly waits* :>

Draw both

Not that I'm pressuring you or anything...

*slinks away to drool at your pic*

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Hmhmhmh <3 No problem, mam. The only hard part is getting onto the computer to draw B) Parents and whatnot. Do you have any part in particular? (Cus I'm liking the ragweed thing, but if the next chapter is gonna be like ZOMFGWTFBBQLOVELOVELOVE, thenn.....) Well; still; I cant wait to see the new chapter *eagerly waits* :>

Well, I was gonna try to draw out that scene, but I'm actually working on him in the rain trying to open the umbrella xD As well as how oddly happy he was when he first felt his experience as a human. But I'd LOVE to see your pics, and I can wait as long as it takes ^^

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