Profiler Profiled

[matilda3948]

Hi all! Some sick, sneezing, angsty Aaron Hotchner for you this evening. It's pretty clearly set after season five but you don't have to really follow the show to get the story (I don't think).

*Disclaimer: I don't own/profit from Criminal Minds...yet...

"How long do you think you can keep this up?" Dave asked. He was leaning in the doorway of Aaron's office watching as the younger man rubbed his temples to try and relieve his headache. The fact that he didn't notice Dave watching him was a true testament to how poorly he was feeling.

"I'm fi…fine," he said. Dave smirked as Aaron's voice caught just before he sneezed. Ehhktchhh!!

"I can see that," he said walking into the office. He grabbed a box of Kleenex off the table next to the sofa and put them on Aaron's desk.

"You don't have to look so smug," Hotch said. Dave started to say something when Hotch held up a hand to get him to wait. He pulled two tissues from the box and held them a few inches from his face. His eyes fluttered shut and he took a few quick breaths before sneezing twice into the waiting tissues. Hehhktshhh!! Ihhtchhh!!

"Bless you," Rossi said.

"Thank you."

"Why don't you head home?"

"I can't. I've got these reports to review and then new case files to read. Plus, I'm just a little under the weather. I'm fine."

"You're exhausted," Rossi said.

"We're all tired," he said tersely. Dave took a deep breath. He knew his friend was on edge and he had to tread lightly.

"Aaron, you can't keep pushing yourself like this. It's only been four months," Rossi said.

"I know how long it's been." His voice was hoarse but Rossi couldn't tell what caused it.

"You also know what happens when you don't process your grief. Your body will force you to slow down if you don't do it willingly." Almost as if his body had determined to prove Rossi right, Hotch felt an overwhelming tickle in his nose. He didn't even have a chance to grab a tissue before the sneezing started. He caught the first Ktchhhew! in his hands, then groped for the tissues with his eyes still shut and his breath coming in shallow gasps. He managed to grab a couple before catching another three sneezes. Ihhktchhew!! Ktshishhh! Hehh…Hihh…Ehh…HihhEHtchhhew! Rossi frowned as he watched the younger man struggle.

"Bless you," he said. Hotch gave his nose a quiet blow and threw the used tissues in the trash.

"Excuse me," he said.

"You're sick," Dave said. "You need to be in bed. Give yourself permission to take care of your body...and your psyche."

"You're actually saying I caught a cold because I'm grieving?" Aaron asked.

"No. I'm saying you caught a cold because you're not grieving. You're working yourself into the ground to avoid having to deal with the pain of what you've gone through."

"Do not profile me, Dave," he growled. Rossi raised his hands in surrender.

"I'm not profiling you, Aaron but I'm your friend and I'm worried and I'll be damned if I'm going to sit by and watch you come apart at the seams. I know you're a private person and I respect that, but indulge me for a moment." He took Hotch's silence as a sign that he could continue. "Does Jack cry?" Hotch shot him a warning glance but answered,

"Almost every night."

"Does he get angry? Yell or throw things?"

"Sometimes."

"Does he want to be close to you? Want you to hold him and reassure him that everything's going to be okay?" Hotch only nodded. "Do you do any of things? Let anyone comfort you?" When it was clear Hotch had no intention of answering, Rossi leaned forward and continued in a gentle voice. "You can't keep it locked up forever, Aaron. You can't outrun it and, even though you know that better than anyone, you keep trying. And now your body is demanding attention in the most literal way possible." Hotch looked away and seemed to be considering how to respond. After a minute he raised his eyes to his friend and said,

"I don't know how to do this. She was the one that knew how to get me to pull through and now..." Rossi nodded.

"I know. I'd like to help if you'll let me." Hotch gave him a nod that was so slight most people would have missed it. When he sniffed a couple times both men pretended it was because of his cold. "I'm going to ask JJ if Jack and Henry could have a slumber party tonight. Okay?" Hotch nodded. "Get your stuff pulled together and we'll head out in about a half hour."

***

"Daddy! Uncle Dave!" Jack yelled when the men came walking into the house.

"Hey buddy," Aaron said and scooped his son up into a big hug. "How was your day?"

"Aunt Jessica and I made cookies and then we walked to the park and--"

Hotch quickly shifted his son to one arm and turned his head as far away as possible before sneezing into his fist. Hehhtschhew!

"Are you sick?" Jack asked.

“Sounds like it,” Jessica said coming out of the kitchen. She nodded hello to Dave.

“Just a little cold,” Aaron said.

“Want me to take Jack home with me tonight?” she asked. Hotch turned to his son and said,

“Actually, Miss JJ wanted to know if you’d come have a slumber party at her house with Henry.”

“Really?” Jack asked.

“Really. Maybe Uncle Dave could help you pack your bag,” Hotch said and put him down. Jack took Dave’s hand and pulled him off towards his room.

“You okay?” Jessica asked as she put on her jacket and grabbed her purse. “Can I do anything for you?”

“I’m okay. Thanks for watching Jack this week.”

“My pleasure. Give the little man a hug for me and feel better.” She opened the front door and saw JJ coming up the sidewalk. The two woman exchanged a few words and then JJ came into the house.

“Hey Hotch,” she said. “Is Jack ready?”

“Not yet. He and Dave went to go pack.”

“Oh that’ll turn out well,” she said. Hotch might have laughed if another round of sneezing hadn’t crept up on him. Ehhktchhh!! Kitschh!! Hehh..Ehh…Ktschhew!!

“Bless you.”

“Thanks.” He followed her as she walked into the kitchen and filled the tea kettle with water before switching on the stove.

“So,” she said, leaning up against the counter, “how are you?”

“I’m tired,” he admitted and stifled a cough. She gave him a sympathetic smile.

“I’m sorry you’re not feeling well.”

“I’m alright but I appreciate you taking Jack for the night. Dave’s going to hang out for a while and make a nuisance of himself.”

“He’s concerned,” she said.

“He’s a pain in the ass.”

“He’s right behind you,” Rossi said.

“Daddy! Daddy! I got my go-bag ready for my sleepover,” Jack said as he came running in the kitchen.

“Oh yeah?” Aaron said. “Can you say hello to Miss JJ?”

“Hi Miss JJ,” Jack said. “I’m ready to go.”

“Hey, sweetie. Just let me finish making this tea for your Daddy and we’ll hit the road. Okay?”

Aaron knelt down in front of Jack. “Be a good boy tonight,” he said. “I’ll come get you tomorrohhh…ehhh…EhhhTCHSSHH!! tomorrow.”

“Okay. Feel better, Daddy.” Jack wrapped his little arms around his father’s neck. Hotch held him for a moment, then kissed his son on the top of his head.

“Thanks again, JJ,” Hotch said as he stood up. She put a hand on his arm and said,

“Take care of yourself. Please. Good luck, Dave.” She took Jack by the hand and they walked out to her car. After he closed the door, Aaron turned back and looked at Rossi.

“So now what?” Hotch asked.

TBC...

[sneezytwilight]

Awww poor Hotch!! This is so cute!

[Nicole]

Cute! I don't watch the show, but the story is great anyway. Thanks for sharing!

[jezebel215]

sneezy hotch :-)

[ID2006]

*Jumps up and down* Matilda, you've ruined me... I'm in love with Hotch now... you must continue

[Zane]

This is sooooo cute! I love Hotch! you should so continue! I love this! thanks so much for writing this.

[silentdreamer789]

Even if there were no sneezing, I would love this. As there is sneezing...

[matilda3948]

Thanks all! It makes me happy to know you guys liked it. And now for part 2...

“So now what?” Hotch asked.

“Now you go change, crash on the couch, and we talk.” Hotch walked down the hall to his bedroom and closed the door. Almost immediately, Dave heard him start coughing. He frowned and poured two cups of tea before settling in the armchair next to the sofa. When Aaron finally came out of the bedroom, he wearing sweatpants and a long-sleeved t-shirt and definitely looked sick. He had a box of tissues in one hand and set them down on the coffee table before sinking down onto the sofa. “You put up a good front for Jack,” Dave said.

“I don’t like him to worry,” Hotch said. “Since Haley…he’s more sensitive to how I’m doing.”

“So how are you doing?” Rossi asked. Aaron seemed to contemplate his answer. He picked up the tea that JJ had made. As soon as he took a drink he settled on his answer.

“I was sick the weekend we moved into this house,” he said quietly. “Haley made the movers bring the sofa in first so I could lie down while they worked. We didn’t have a lot of stuff; we’d been living in this tiny little apartment to save money.” He stopped and pulled a couple tissues from the box. Dave recognized that glassy-eyed look that had overtaken the younger man. Hehh…hih…Ihhktchhew!! Ktshishhh! He grabbed two more tissues and blew his nose before continuing. “She dug through every box of kitchen stuff until she found the tea kettle and a couple coffee mugs. We were so happy.” His voice was nearly a whisper. “Amazing how much can change in just a few years.”

“It’s not always going to be this hard,” Rossi said. “I know it seems like it’s never going to get any easier, but eventually it will.”

“You don’t know that,” Aaron snapped, triggering a coughing fit. He covered his mouth with one hand and reached for his tea with the other. It took several mouthfuls of the lukewarm liquid before he finally stopped. He glanced over at Rossi and resumed their conversation as if nothing had happened. “There is no way you could possibly know that.” There was a hardness in his eyes that dared Rossi to argue with him. Dave got up and moved over to the sofa. He sat down next to Hotch and stared at his hands.

“Alright. Here’s what I do know,” Rossi said. “You are strong enough to get past this.”

“You don’t know that either,” Hotch said.

“Yeah, I do.” Dave tried to put an arm around Aaron’s shoulders but Hotch pushed it away.

“If you didn’t break during those first couple of weeks, you’re not going to break now,” Rossi said.

“What do you call beating a man to death with hehh…ehh hehhKitchshhh!! Hehtchshhh!! with my bare hands?”

“I call it self defense. In fact, that’s what your team and the Bureau call it.”

Ihhktchhew!! Ktshishhh!

“Bless you. What do you call it, Aaron?” Hotch ran a hand over his face and sighed,

“I’m not sure.”

“Well, let’s go with my definition until you figure it out, okay?” Dave said. A few stray tears slipped down Aaron’s face and he quickly swiped them away. Rossi watched him put his defenses back in place. It was the most Aaron had said about the whole incident since Haley’s funereal. He was hoping for a little more honesty, a little more depth, but he knew better than to think Hotch was simply going to openly talk about that day.

“Thanks Dave,” Hotch said.

“Anytime.” Rossi stood up and went into the kitchen. “I’m going to make something for dinner. Any preference?”

“Not really,” Aaron said and started to get up off the couch.

“Whoa. Where do you think you’re going?” Rossi asked.

“Kitchen.” Dave rolled his eyes.

“I swear, sometimes you’re worse than Reid. Go. Sit. Rest. I’ll bring food to you when it’s ready.”

It didn’t take Dave long to fix a couple bowls of soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. He carried the food into the living room and set everything down on the coffee table. Hotch nodded his thanks and started with the soup. In truth, he wasn’t at all hungry but he decided forcing some soup down was better than listening to Rossi nag him all night. He’d eaten about half of it when he felt his nose begin to itch. The tickle started deep in his sinuses, building slowly and giving him enough time to swap the soup for a handful of Kleenex. His breath grew shallow as the urge to sneeze continued to build. He leaned back against the sofa and closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable. It turned out not to be a very long wait. Hehh…heh heh HehhAHHKTCHSHH!! He lurched forward with the force of the first sneeze, catching it in the tissues. The others weren’t as strong but just kept coming one after the other. hehhKitchshhh!! Hehtchshhh!! Ihhktchhew!! Ktshishhh! HihhEHtchhhew! The tissues in his hand were completely soaked so he pulled several more from the box and blew his nose.

“You okay?” Dave asked. He tried to make it sound like an offhand question but the look on his face betrayed his concern.

“I’m fine,” Hotch said. “I just can’t remember the last time I had a cold this bad.”

“I can’t remember the last time you had a cold at all.”

“Been a while. I’m going to go to bed. Thanks for today, Dave. I’ll see you Monday,” Hotch said.

“You planning on sleeping for 48 hours?” When Aaron gave Dave a confused look, the older man said, “Jack’s not the only who packed a go-bag.”

“Dave, you don’t need to—”

“Get some sleep, Aaron. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Rossi was just drifting off to sleep when he heard Aaron’s voice coming from the bedroom. He switched on the hall light and walked into the room to see the younger man thrashing around in the bed, obviously in the throws of a nightmare. Dave turned on the bedside lamp and sat down on the edge of the bed. He took Aaron by the shoulders and called out to him,

“Aaron. Wake up. Come on, wake up. Aaron!” Hotch woke with a gasp and twisted away from Rossi. “Hey, easy. Easy. It’s okay. It was just a dream,” Dave said softly. He watched Aaron’s eyes darting around the room in fear.

“Where’s Jack?” he asked. He scrambled out of the bed but was unsteady on his feet. “I have to see him. Make sure he’s okay.” Dave stepped in front of him, took Hotch’s shoulders, and gave him a slight shake to get him to focus.

“He’s sleeping at JJ’s remember? She came and picked him up this afternoon. He’s safe, I promise.” He could tell the instant Hotch remembered; his body relaxed and Rossi had to quickly grab him around the waist to keep him from falling to the floor. “Come on. Get back in bed.” He helped Aaron sit on the edge of the bed while Dave straightened the tangled sheets.

Ktchhhew!

“Bless you.”

Ihhktchhew!! Ktshishhh! ehh…Hehhktchheew! The sneezes were strong enough they bent him at the waist. HehhIHHTSCHHH!!

“Bless you, Aaron.” Rossi handed him a handful of tissues and frowned when blowing his nose turned into a coughing fit. Hotch sounded terrible—much worse than he had just a few hours ago. Dave squatted down so he was eye level and put a hand on Aaron’s forehead. “Damn, you’re burning up,” he said. “Stay here.” Rossi went into the kitchen and soon returned with a glass of water and two asprin. “Take these,” he instructed as he walked into the bathroom. “Do you have a thermometer?” he called. When he came back he saw the pills still sitting in Aaron’s open hand. “You need to take those.” Hotch looked up at him as if he didn’t understand the instructions. Just as Rossi was about to repeat himself, Hotch whispered,

“I don’t deserve this.”

“Deserve what?”

“I don’t deserve to have you here.” Rossi was stunned. He sat down on the bed and looked sideways at Aaron.

“What would possibly make you say that?”

“This is my fault. I should have taken the deal. None of this would have happened if I’d just taken the deal. She’d still be alive. Jack would still have his mother. Why didn’t I just take the deal?”

“Aaron—”

“What kind of man puts his family in danger like that? What kind of man… Ktshishhh! ehhh…EhhhTCHSSHH!! sniff. What kind of man does that? It’s my fault she’s dead. I didn’t take the deal and then I wasn’t fast enough to save her. It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.”

Rossi sighed. He certainly wished it didn’t take a high fever for Aaron to drop his guard enough to say those words, but he was a tough man. He reached over and rubbed the stiff muscles in the back of Aaron’s neck.

“There’s no way you could have lived with yourself if you’d made that deal and you know it,” Dave said. “She wouldn’t have wanted you to. But none of this is your fault.”

“It should have been me,” he whispered. “Jack shouldn’t have to grow up without a mother. It’s my fault. It should have been me.” He barely got the words out before he started to cry. Not occasional tears like earlier, but urgent sobbing. Hotch covered his face with his hands and shook with the force of his sadness. He felt himself pull away from everything else; he had no sense of place, no sense of feeling—just this white hot grief that had completely overwhelmed him. He had no idea how long he cried but eventually he became aware of a voice way off in the distance. Somebody was calling his name. He heard it again. He felt a burning sensation in his chest. Felt a repeated thumping on his back.

“Aaron, calm down,” Dave’s voice registered through the fog. “You have to calm down and breathe.” The bedroom started to come back into focus and it took Hotch a moment to realize that he was coughing. Rossi was patting him on the back trying to help the spasm stop long enough for Hotch to pull some air into his lungs. “There, slow easy breaths.” He took a ragged breath. “Again,” he heard Dave instruct. “Good.” Hotch was winded and exhausted. “Here,” Rossi said and handed him a glass of water. He drank the whole thing and took another slow, deep breath. He felt his nose itch and barely managed to catch the sneezes in his hands. Kischshh!! Tchsshhhh!! He finally looked up and saw Dave’s eyes clouded with worry.

“I’m okay,” Aaron rasped. Dave relaxed slightly. He’d sat there and watched the younger man cry hard for over a half hour. Hell, he’d have sat with him all night but when the crying turned into a violent coughing fit, he knew he had to step in and get him to calm down.

“Get back in bed,” Rossi said. “I’ll be right back.” He went back into the bathroom and came back with a damp washcloth. Aaron was lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling, his eyes still glassy with fever. Dave wordlessly sat on the edge of the bed and pressed the cool cloth against Aaron’s forehead, then the sides of his face and neck. He repeated the process a few times and then just watched as the younger man drifted off to sleep. Only when he was positive Hotch was sleeping did Dave reach over to smooth his hair back. He rested his hand on Aaron’s forehead and was pleased when he realized his fever had broken. “Sleep well,” Dave whispered.

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

I must admit, for all I'm in love with Criminal Minds, I don't usually read sneezefic of it. I'm not really sure why. But this is just fantastic: the story, the dialogue, it all works amazingly well. And I think a big part of it is the way you nailed how Hotch and Rossi interact: Hotch might be the boss, but he'll always see Rossi as at least his equal, if not his superior. I can't wait to read the next part.

[Zane]

This was just........wow...... I'm like shocked. it's amazing!!! I love the sneezes but poor Hotch hope there will be more. thanks for writing this!

[ID2006]

Have I told you lately how much I adore you <3

[OnlyInMyDreams]

The depth to this is startling.

Yes, there's the sickness, the sniffles (though no stuffy voice), but the emotions and the dialogue is wonderful.

So many of htese characters I don't know, but this makes me wonder who they are.

I'm really wanting more of this one. Will there be more sickness? More of Aaron coming to terms with his grief? Good, good stuff.

[matilda3948]

Thanks so much guys!! I really love this story arc. This ended becoming way for story-intensive than my normal fetish fics but I still tried to get plenty of sneezing in it. Enjoy

***

Aaron rolled over and yawned. He had no idea what time it was but, judging by the light spilling through the blinds, it was at least 8:00am. When was the last time he'd slept past 6? It must have been at least a year. Maybe longer. Before the divorce but after Jack was born. His musings were cut short when he felt the tingling sensation in his sinuses escalate. He grabbed the tissues from the bedside table and laid back in the bed. The sneezes were taking their time. His breath hitched and he brought the tissues close to his face and then nothing. Maybe he could just go back to sleep for a few minutes. His eyelids grew heavy and felt himself drifting back off. It was a rare moment of peace. The house was still, but not oppressive, and he felt at ease in the comfort of his own bed but his breath grew shallow again and he gasped once, then again, before the sneeze disappeared once more. He didn't move though. The tickle was overwhelming and he knew the sneeze would return any second. After nearly twenty seconds of laying still, his breath coming in shallow gasps he'd had enough. With a growl, Aaron turned over and sat up on the edge of the bed. Either the movement or the cool air against his skin was enough to push his nose over the edge.

Hehh! IHH!! HehhhIKTSHHH!! His head snapped forward with the strength of the sneeze. As he straightened back up, his breath started to hitch. Hehh Ehh HehhIHHTSHHH!! He could feel one last sneeze lingering at the edge of his sinuses. Aaron sat still, the crumpled tissues still held in front of his face. Just when he thought that perhaps the horrible tingling sensation was not going to result in a sneeze, he inhaled sharply and released a monstrous sneeze HehhhhAHHktcshhheeew!!!

Well, there was certainly no going back to sleep now. He decided to get dressed and call JJ to make arrangements for picking up Jack. Aaron went into the bathroom and flipped on the light. Despite the fact that he felt slightly less miserable than yesterday, he couldn't help but sigh when he looked in the mirror. His pale skin contrasted against his red nose and the dark circles under his eyes. He splashed some water on his face, brushed his teeth, and changed into a clean sweatshirt. Hotch walked out into the house and saw Rossi sitting at the kitchen table, reading the paper and drinking coffee.

“I thought I heard you,” Dave said, taking off his reading glasses and eying the younger man. “How are you feeling?”

“Is there coffee?” Hotch asked, walking into the kitchen.

“And a mug already set on the counter, but you didn’t answer my question.”

Hotch picked up the empty coffee mug that was sitting next to the pot and poured himself a cup before joining Dave at the kitchen table.

“I feel alright,” Aaron said and took a sip of his coffee. As soon as he made eye contact with Dave, he amended his statement: “Better than yesterday at least.” If Aaron noticed Dave still watching him with a hint of disbelief, he didn’t say anything. “What time is it?” Hotch asked.

“Almost 11:30.” Hotch nearly choked on his coffee.

“11:30? I slept for fifteen hours?” Hotch asked.

“Except for about an hour in the middle of the night, pretty much.”

“What about Jack? He’s still with JJ?”

“Yeah. She decided to take him and Henry to the zoo and then said she’d bring Jack home later this afternoon,” Dave said.

“She didn’t need to…” his voice trailed off and his eyes fluttered shut. Dave grabbed a couple napkins off the kitchen counter and pushed them into Aaron’s hands. “Thahh…thankahh…ehh…Ehh Ehh Ehhhktschhheew!!”

“Bless you. JJ and Will were happy to keep Jack for the day. Plus,” Rossi paused. “You and I aren't done talking.”

“Dave, I appreciate your concern but—”

“How much do you remember from last night?” Rossi asked.

“We sat in the living room and talked then I went to bed.”

“No, I mean how much do you remember from the middle of the night?” Hotch frowned. He couldn't recall anything from the middle of the night. “I'm not surprised,” Dave said. “You had a pretty high fever. Do you remember the nightmare?” Hotch suddenly saw Dave's hands on his shoulders trying to convince him Jack was okay. After a moment, Dave prompted him again, “Do you remember sitting on the edge of your bed talking? Crying?” This time Aaron paled as he began to remember pieces of the previous night: coughing until his lungs burned, finally verbalizing his guilt, crying—no, sobbing in a way he hadn't done since he was young. Rossi watched as he pieced it together.

“Dave, I—”

“It's okay,” he cut off the apology he knew was about to follow. “You needed it. Frankly, I'm not surprised it took sleep deprivation, a nightmare, and a fever to bring it on. You've been fighting it for months.”

“Yeah, but I'm sorry you had to see me like that.”

“I'm not.”

Hotch wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He knew Dave was right; grieving was normal. How many times had he told Jack it was okay to cry when he was sad? When it came to his own pain though, it was different.

“Are the nightmares always about the same thing?” Rossi asked.

“Most of the time they’re about Haley. The phone call or finding her…finding her body. Sometime though, they’re about Jack. Last night was about Jack,” he said. “It’s harder to shake off when they’re about him.”

“You must be hungry. I make pretty good eggs,” Dave said and stood up. He went into the kitchen and started cooking. Hotch just watched him and remembered what a great interrogator Rossi was. Hotch knew the conversation wasn’t over; he was just letting him collect himself. It wasn’t unreasonable to ask for a little honesty. Dave had slept on his couch, calmed him down in the middle of the night and now was making him breakfast. He grabbed the crumpled napkins from earlier and caught another harsh sneeze. HehhhRihhshhew!!

“Bless you.” Rossi set a plate of eggs down in front of him, then refilled both their coffees. Dave made one more trip to the kitchen and put a glass of orange juice down in front of Hotch and put two pills next to it. Aaron took the pills and then ate most of the eggs.

“These are good,” he said. Rossi nodded his thanks and then said,

“You ready to talk about it?” Hotch raised his head, his eyes pleading for the older man to let it go. “Not talking about the nightmares hasn't made them go away.”

“You're like a dog with a bone,” Aaron sighed.

“Damn straight,” Dave said, but his eyes were soft, patient. Hotch took a couple deep breaths to steady himself. When he started to talk, his voice was strained and quiet.

“In the dream, I get to the house and I kill him. Then I go looking for Jack. He's not in his hiding place and I tear the house apart looking for him, screaming for him...and then...”

Dave reached across the table and squeezed his forearm. The touch seemed to ground Aaron just enough to get him to finish. “I go back to the bedroom and that's when I see that he's curled up against his mother...like she was trying to shield him...they're both dead.” He barely got the words out before a sob tore through him. He was exhausted and just put his head down on the table. Rossi kept his hand on Aaron's arm and let him cry. No wonder he'd woken up frantic to check on his son. Just like the previous night, the crying made Hotch start to cough. A moment later, he bolted from the table and ran to the bathroom and Dave heard him get sick. He grabbed a glass of water and walked into the bathroom. Hotch was sitting on the tile floor, leaned up against the side of the bathtub, with tears still running down his face. Rossi handed him the water and Hotch rinsed his mouth out before flushing the toilet and settling back onto the floor. Rossi sat down with him so they were shoulder to shoulder. After a few more minutes, Hotch stopped crying and leaned his head back to stare at the ceiling.

“Well, I'm glad I went through the trouble of making you eggs this morning,” Rossi said. His comment had the desired effect as Hotch directed a tired laugh at the ceiling.

“They weren't nearly as good the second time around.” This time they both laughed. Aaron scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed.

“You gotta stop doing this Aaron,” Dave said. “You have got to talk to somebody about this or it's going consume you.”

“I'm afraid it already is. What happens if I start looking, I mean really looking, into this dark place? What if I get into it and can't find my way back out?”

“Then we send a rescue team in to get you,” Rossi said. “You've been circling the perimeter for months now. Maybe it's time to dive in and really let yourself deal with it. You deserve better than this.” Hotch dropped his head and stared at his hands. “I know,” Dave said as if he was reading his mind. “You don't think you deserve better, but one day you will. In the meantime, you have to talk to people. Every single member of your team, myself included, would drop what they were doing to just sit and listen to you. There's the department therapist, private doctors, support groups. You just have to find something.” For the first time since they started talking, Aaron actually looked up and met his friend's eyes.

“Okay,” he said.

“I promise, we will not let you get lost.”

“Okay,” he repeated and Rossi saw a glimpse of Hotch's normal determination. It didn't last long though as a shiver ran through his body, followed almost immediately by two sneezes. HehhIhhtchshhh!! Tcshhhheew!!

“Bless you. Come on, I shouldn't have let you sit on this cold floor for this long. JJ will have my ass if you end up sicker than you were when I started with you.” Dave pushed himself up off the floor before helping to haul an utterly exhausted Aaron Hotchner to his feet. “Bed or couch?” Rossi asked.

“Couch.”

After depositing his friend on the sofa, Dave went and grabbed a pillow and blanket off the master bed and handed them to Aaron. Then he went and twisted the blinds shut before settling down in the armchair. Hotch picked up the remote and flipped through the TV stations until he found a baseball game, but he was asleep before the end of the inning. Dave smiled as the sound of his friend's congested snoring filled the living room and then closed his eyes for a nap as well.

When he woke up, Dave found Aaron still sprawled out across the couch. He went into the kitchen and started putting together something for dinner. He'd just put a few potatoes in the over when he heard someone knock on the door. Hotch stirred and sat up, but Dave easily beat him to the door. As soon as the door swung open, Jack went dashing into the house.

"That kid has a limitless supply of energy," JJ said with a laugh. "How are things here?" she put Jack's overnight bag down inside the front door.

"Better than when you left."

"Good. Okay, Will and Henry are waiting in the car so I'm off."

"Thank you, JJ," Rossi said.

She put a hand on his arm. "Absolutely any time."

Dave closed the door behind him and found Jack had crawled up onto his father's lap and was giving an animated description of his day at the zoo.

"And then I saw the lions and they were so big but I wasn't even scared. Then we saw the monkeys, and chair rafts"

"Giraffes?" his father asked.

"Yeah with the long, long necks to eat the leaves. And then Miss JJ bought us ice cream and then we came home."

"Sounds like a pretty great day," Aaron said.

"You sound funny, Daddy."

"Daddy just has a cold. Remember the last time you had a sore throat and sneezed a lot? That's how Daddy's been feeling and it makes my voice sound funny, but I'm starting to feel better."

"Oh. Is that why you're in your pajamas?" Jack asked.

"Yep. Because what do I tell you to do when you're sick?"

"Have lots to drink. Rest. And use tissues instead of my sleeve." Both men laughed at the little boy's answer.

"How did you get to be so smart?" Aaron asked. Jack shrugged.

"Hey Jack, would you like to help take care of your Daddy?" Rossi asked.

"Yeah."

"Maybe you could go put on your pajamas too and watch a movie with him while I get some dinner ready. What movie always makes you feel better when you're sick?"

"Jungle Book."

"Sounds good to me," Hotch said. His voice rose at the end of his sentence as he drew in a sharp breath before sneezing. Ktshishhh! ehhh…EhhhTCHSSHH!! hehhKitchshhh!! Hehtchshhh!! When he opened his eyes he saw Jack watching him carefully. Aaron pulled several tissues from the box on the coffee table and blew his nose before sneezing again. Hehhmptchhh!! Once he seemed content that his father was not going to use his sleeve instead of a tissue, Jack scampered off to his room.

"Bless you," Rossi said and sat down on the sofa next to Aaron. "He is a really amazing kid."

"Takes after his mother," Hotch said.

"There's plenty of you in there too," he said.

"Listen, Dave, I just want thank you...for everything. I really am feeling better. In every sense of the word."

"Good. Let's not make the talking an isolated incident. Okay?"

"Okay." Hotch sighed as he felt another sneezing fit building. heh heh HehhAHHKTCHSHH!! Hehh…hih…Ihhktchhew!! Ktshishhh! Heh Hihhitchshh!!

"Daddy, you sneeze a lot," Jack said as he took Dave's place on the couch while the older man started their movie and Hotch took a moment to blow his nose.

"I know. I'm trying to get all those germs out of my nose," Aaron said. Jack stood up and leaned close to his father and put a hand on his forehead.

"No temperature," he declared.

"That's good. You know what would make me feel a lot better though?"

"What?"

"A hug." A huge grin broke out across the little boy's face and he threw his arms around his father's neck. Aaron took a moment and savored having his son so close. He tilted his head and kissed him on the head and felt tears spring to his eyes. He gave him another tight squeeze before letting him go. Hotch cleared his throat and discreetly swiped at his eyes. "Time for our movie, buddy?" he asked.

"Yeah."

Dave hit play and went back to the kitchen. He had watched the interaction between father and son and could feel a lump in his throat as well. He really was an amazing kid. After putting some chicken and vegetables in the oven, Dave went back into the living room. Aaron was laying down with his knees bent at a 90 degree angle. Jack was tucked in the open space behind his father's legs, his head resting on Aaron's hip. Jack was sound asleep as "The Bear Necessities" played softly on the TV. He smiled as he watched Aaron slowly running his hand over Jack's hair. He stepped into Aaron's line of sight. "Dinner's in the oven. I'm going to head home. Looks like you've got everything you need."

"Thank you."

"Happy to help. Call if you need anything." Aaron opened his mouth to answer but stopped as he had to pinch his nose shut in an attempt to stifle two strong sneezes. His head bobbed forward. Ngxcht! Ngxktch!! He felt Jack stir but as soon as he resumed stroking his hair, the little boy immediately stilled.

"I will," Hotch said in answer to Dave's earlier request.

Rossi nodded but knew he wouldn't hear from Hotch again until Monday morning at the office. Like he said, he had everything he needed right there.

[Zane]

Soooooo cute! thanks so much for writing this! I love it!

[ichixshiro14]

Squee! What a great ending to a great story!

[OnlyInMyDreams]

Wow. The depth to that last post was amazing, and the interactions with Aaron and his son. Priceless and adorably cute.

Thank you. I really love how you portrayed them, and the insight you have to grief, and emotions. I needed some of what was said to Aaron.

Again, thank you.

[ID2006]

This was awesome

[matilda3948]

Wow. The depth to that last post was amazing, and the interactions with Aaron and his son. Priceless and adorably cute.

Thank you. I really love how you portrayed them, and the insight you have to grief, and emotions. I needed some of what was said to Aaron.

Again, thank you.

Awww, then take lots of good care of yourself.

[AntheaHolmes]

Oh, Aaron's my favourite and he's so vulnerable and sneezy. Dave's really a great friend. I love the dynamic between them. Also the griefing process is pretty well written. Poor thing.