Hook's Dilemma (m)

[murphy dee]

Okay, I've been sitting on this for far too long. I was extremely hesitant and embarrassed to post it, but some of the amazingly kind people here convinced me to just go for it, so that's what I'm gonna do! I suppose if I become too mortified I can just vanish for a few days and hide under something.

Title: Hook's Dilemma

Author: Murphy D.

Fandom: Peter Pan (whether you imagine it as book Hook, Disney Hook, etc is up to you)

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. They were J. M. Barrie's and he gave them to the Great Ormond Street Hospital.

Summary: Peter Pan sends Tinkerbell to mess with poor Captain Hook after the day's battle.

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Captain Hook sat at the fortepiano in his personal quarters aboard the Jolly Roger and plunked absently at the keys. The brass piano wiring droned on with a melancholy tone that echoed its player’s own glum expression. His heart wasn’t really in it, but he had nothing better to do.

Peter Pan and the lost boys had already attacked for the night, and won of course, so now there was nothing left but to sleep, wake up, and prepare for another battle. Hook was slowly discovering that this was never going to change. Tomorrow would be the same, as would be the day after that, and the day after that.

Even worse than the fighting, however, was the never-ending pranking and teasing. Pan was never content to simply win; the boy had to rub it in.

A shimmering light zipped into Hook’s peripheral vision and danced just on the other side of the window pane beside him. It moved lightning fast, but he swore he saw a small person’s shape somewhere in that bright yellow glow. Could it be…?

He shifted over on the bench and unlatched the window, letting it drift open of its own accord. The light dove in and twirled and reeled about the cabin in an excited frenzy, but at last came to rest upon the piano’s top.

When it was finally still, Hook could see that this creature was, in fact, Tinkerbell. Just as he suspected. “Greetings, my dear,” he drawled, giving a little bow from his seat. His long, black curls poured over his shoulders, and he flipped them back as he righted himself. “Has Pan sent you here to gloat in his place?”

Tinkerbell shook her head and produced a tediously folded bit of parchment from a satchel sewn of leaves. Hook took it carefully between his thumb and forefinger and began to unfold it.

“I, Captain Hook,” he read aloud, “in light of my recent defeat, do hereby declare myself a…a codfish?” There was even a line underneath for him to sign his name. The nerve of Pan!

Tinkerbell laughed and laughed, rolling about on the piano and kicking her legs. Her fairy dust exploded into the air and she made sure her wings blew it directly into Hook’s face. He waved his good hand about, trying to dissipate the cloud of twinkling powder, but the damage had already been done. As he took breath, his prominent filled with the itching stuff. His nostrils burned and tickled viciously and his eyes watered until he could no longer stand it.

“Ah…ahh…ahhh—!”

The sneeze stuck right in the back of his nose, earning a disappointed groan. Tinkerbell only continued to giggle at his misery.

Hook sniffled deeply and scrunched up his nose in a futile attempt to coax out the sneeze. He patted his eyes dry with a handkerchief produced from within his velvet coat, though they didn’t stay dry for long. The tickle simply would not go away.

He looked to Tinkerbell and said sheepishly, “May I bother you for ahh…another dose of your dust, my dear? I can’t seem to…can’t seem to…hahh…”

But Tinkerbell shook her head with the sound of rattling windchimes. She was grinning mischievously now, and she pointed to the unfolded note. Sweeping her hand across the signature line, she made her point very clear: “Sign this, or I’m not helping you.”

Hook reared back with a mighty sniff, offended to his core. “I shall do no such thing,” he said.

Tinkerbell smirked, jumped up, and flew right at his face. She tugged at his fancy mustache, leaving flecks of dust in her wake. Hook brushed her away in annoyance.

“Now stop that, stop thaaah, ahh…” He pressed the knuckle of his index finger firmly against the underside of his nose and rubbed, hoping to finally rid himself of the stuck sneeze. His breaths came in jerky gulps as the overwhelming tickle pitilessly made a fool of him.

Tinkerbell settled down on the piano again and put her hands on her hips, still giggling.

“Silence!” Hook roared, rising to his feet. He paced around the cabin, brushing his handkerchief angrily over his irritated nostrils. He could force this sneeze out, he knew it. All he needed was one good, strong sneeze and this feeling would pass for sure. “Ehh…ahh…ahhh—!” He placed his good hand on his desk, leaning heavily on the engraved wood, trying to focus on the sneeze.

Then he saw the quill pen. Fingers quivering, he plucked it from its inkwell and examined it. The feather’s tip had been snipped into a fine point, but it still felt soft to the touch. Hook fluttered the tip experimentally across his sensitive, reddened nostrils. His entire body shuddered as goosebumps rose on the surface of his skin.

“Ah…ahh—AHH—!”

The sneeze had almost come. Hook remained in his pre-sneeze position; head tipped back and mouth gaping. He raised the quill feather and slowly brushed the end just along the inside of his left nostril. The breath caught in his throat for a second as the fierce tickle nearly overpowered him. Eyes watering, he continued to mercilessly torture his nose with the feather. He knew he was on the brink of the sneeze, he could feel it building and building.

“I…I think I’m…I think I’m…hahh…haaahh…oh my g—HAAAAHH—!”

But nothing happened. The sneeze still refused to unstick.

With a defeated sniffle, Hook took the quill pen and sunk back down onto the piano bench. He stabbed the unfolded paper with the metal claw of his right hand, dragged it towards him, and frantically signed. His nose was on fire with the need to finally sneeze. He readied his handkerchief in anticipation.

His glistening eyes moved to Tinkerbell as she lifted into the air. The fairy folded the page down into a tiny square and tucked it into her satchel. With the jingling sound of bells, she circled over Hook’s head and released a thick cascade of gauzy, tingling dust. Hook inhaled several times in quick succession to make sure he got a good noseful of the bothersome stuff.

“Oh, ohh…I think that’s…ahhh…I think that’s got it,” he said breathily. His head pulled back and froze in place, mouth ajar and eyes wet and half-lidded. “H-here it comes. Ha…hahh…HAHH—!”

For a second, Hook feared this was another false start, but then Tinkerbell appeared directly in front of his face. She spread her little palm flat and blew a torrent of dust straight at Hook’s stubborn nose.

“W-what are you—oh god, ohh…ahh…ahhh…AHHH’KCHXOO!”

Hook shot forward, catching the sneeze in his handkerchief. But the prickling in his nose would not dissipate as simply as that.

“EH’CHHOO! Ehh…EH’KCHHT! AH’TSCHH! N-not again, not ahhh—EGH’KCHOO! AHH’SHXOO! Hah…ahh…ha-HAAAH’TCHXIEW! Ohhh…oh, that’s it.”

The powerful sneezing fit left Hook drained and shaking like a leaf. He blew into his handkerchief and groaned at how sore and spent his nose felt. Luckily for him, however, the tickle was completely gone. But so, too, was Tinkerbell…

~*~

Peter Pan smiled at the arrival of his fairy. “Well Tink, did it work? Did he sign it?” She shook open the paper and nodded enthusiastically. Peter crowed with victory and pinned the note to one of his bedposts.

He admired it, chest puffed boyishly out, then turned to Tinkerbell and raised an eyebrow.

“So Tink, how should we mess with him tomorrow?”

End.

[Anonymouse]

Yes! I've been waiting anxiously for this! I knew there was a reason I stayed up so late tonight.

There is something magical about this. Your beautiful writing, the fairytale subject matter, the creative plot of a mischievous fairy using her dust to blackmail Hook into signing. I love how Tinkerbell just watches him struggle and teases him the whole time while he gets more and more irritated. And dear sweet Jesus when he tickles his own nose with the feather... I love the comments he makes after his false starts and the relief he expresses when he finally sneezes.

I can see why you were hesitant to post though. It reminds me of when I was a kid and I'd be watching a Disney movie or a cartoon and the characters would have these exaggerated build-ups and sneezes and I felt so bad for watching it, especially if there were family members in the room. There's something pleasantly uncomfortable about how fetishy it is but I really enjoyed it. I'm so glad you posted!

[murphy dee]

Thank yoooooouuu. I instantly feel SO much better about this, you have no idea. I've had this nervous lump in my stomach ever since sitting the submit button.

And you described it perfectly - pleasantly uncomfortable! Watching that scene in Peter Pan where Hook is nursing his cold and sneezing is the first fetishy memory I can remember, and even now, watching it by myself, I still get squirmy even though I'm totally in love with that scene. Pleasantly uncomfortable, what a great way to say it.

Thank you again, Anonymouse! Seriously, you rock.

[TheCakeIsAlive]

Please don't hide!

That was brilliant. I was totally picturing Disney's Cpt. Hook. Poor thing... ... I should watch the movie again....

Lovely fic!

[murphy dee]

I'll try not to hide. It was tempting there for a sec, but I think I'm all right now. Thank you so much for the compliment, I'm glad you liked it! And I should really watch that movie again too...heh heh.

[iety]

Crikey! I was not expecting such a level of hotness from this. I went

Now to go find my brain...I think it's in a puddle somewhere over there...

[murphy dee]

Hehe, well I'm happy to surprise you! Sorry about your brain, though.

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

I, uh...

Yeah.

[murphy dee]

Oh no! That's two people I've made explode! Hehe, thanks for reading!

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

Oh no! That's two people I've made explode! Hehe, thanks for reading!

No, no, thank YOU for writing it!

[Vetinari]

Wow this is delicious. I love the details with the feather running round the edges of his .....

Ahem.....

I'm glad you posted.

[murphy dee]

Thanks bunches, Vetinari! That's one of my favorite bits too. Heh heh heh...

[floatmyboatt]

oh my gosh. i love this. you're amazing.

[murphy dee]

Thank you, Floatmyboatt. I'm so happy to hear that you liked it!

[murphy dee]

Heeeeeee Thank you, Spoider! Hehe, yeah, I think he's gonna be wiped out for a while. I'll have to tend to him in my imagination.

This whole thing just makes me want to keep writing Hook. I think he might be my fetish muse now.

[Sneeze999]

That was VERY good! I can't wait to see where your going to take this, fantastic!

[murphy dee]

Thanks a lot, Sneeze999! I'm not sure if I'll continue this particular story, but I think I will write more Captain Hook stuff later. Though I promise not to spam y'all with it, haha.

[blackrose]

i can't say i would mind you spamming us with hook fics! actually i would probably enjoy it!

[murphy dee]

Really, you would? Aw thanks, Blackrose! (I wrote a Hook story for National Novel Writing Month, so you would think I've had my fill of him...lol, apparently not.)

[bangbang]

I... wow. I'd be happy being spammed by your Hook fics 24/7. This was amazing. Thank you so much.

[murphy dee]

Thank YOU so much, Bangbang! And I'm working on another one already.

[sneeze@me]

i dont usually go for allergies but this was really good. plz post moar!

[Frick]

This was absolutely delicious. I hadn't thought of Hook as sexy, before... but this story certainly changed my mind!

Stuck sneezes are so hot, and this is especially great. Hook's torture and release is perfect. I thoroughly enjoyed this story. Glad you posted!

[murphy dee]

Sneeze@me - Thank you! I will definitely be posting more Hook stuff.

Frick - Haha, just call me the mind-changer, baby. But seriously, thank you, what a compliment! I'm really glad you liked reading it!

[bangbang]

Yay! *is excited to see what you come up with next*.

Hook was probably my initiation into the fetish as well - I was so, so disappointed when they didn't include his cold in the newer film with Jason Isaacs. That would have made my life.