Big Time Rush Fic for Zane (m)

[KawaiiKitty]

Okay, so I haven't posted on here for so long nobody probably even remembers who I am! Anyway, I saw the request topic for a Big Time Rush fic. I managed to get pretty familiar with that show because it was the only thing on in the morning when I got up during the summer that wasn't news or talk shows. So despite myself, I kinda know it pretty well. So I thought, why not put that to good use and fulfil someone's wish of seeing a fic. It happened I had some time to veg in front of my computer tonight, so I got it all nice and typed up much quicker than I thought I would have!

That said, I'm not actually a fan of it, so I might not have paid as much attention as I thought I did...the characterisation might be off...I might have butchered it. And if I did, I apologise.

It's only a short little ficlet...there's just very little chance I'd get inspired to do a multi-chapter epic, so this is the one and only part, I'm afraid! I hope that's okay! I do apologise for the really short length of it!

Anyway, Zane wanted allergic Logan, so I tried to do the best I could with that. Hope you like it Zane!

Title: (untitled)

Fandom: Big Time Rush

Disclaimer: Really, I don't own it. And I doubt anyone would think I'm makin' money off this fic!

Summary: Logan is sneezing like crazy, and it's disrupting their recording...making Gustavo think they might just miss their deadline. They have to find out what is making him sneeze and how to make it stop so they can record, and so Gustavo doesn't explode.

***********************************

Inside a small recording booth, fairly normal and unassuming as recording booths go, the sound of four young male voices singing in harmony suddenly and unexpectedly became the sound of three young male voices singing in slightly less of a harmony. They stopped singing, as perplexed at the source of the interruption-a sneeze-as if it were the first time it had happened today. Which, it wasn’t.

“Dude, Logan, again?” the floppy-haired pretty boy known as James complained. His complaint was far more gentle than the one that was soon to come from Gustavo Rocque, who removed his headphones in exasperation and stood up. He said nothing, which was far more worrying than if he’d said something…since with him this could only be the calm before the storm and the longer he waited to erupt, the louder and more forceful that eruption would be.

“Fifteen takes!” Gustavo bellowed, storming over to the door of the booth and flinging it open. “That’s fifteen takes you’ve ruined so far.” He spat out the words as loudly as he possibly could-which was very loud indeed. Of course this wasn’t entirely necessary in order for him to get his point across. He was larger than life already with his impressive girth and the gold chains dripping from his neck as if he took classes from the Mr. T School Of Fashion. No, the shouting was just for effect.

And then, Gustavo mysteriously stopped shouting and sniffed the air.

“Did you get a cat?” he asked James.

“No, why?”

“Because you smell like one marked its territory all over your clothes.”

“Hey, this is my brand new body spray. The commercial says that chicks just can’t resist it. Do you like it?”

“No, if I liked it I wouldn’t have told you you smell like an animal’s toilet,” Gustavo retorted, his voice resuming the familiar decibel level they had all come to know, but not love.

“You do stink,” Kendall agreed.

“Yeah, pretty bad,” Carlos chimed in.

“Well, you guys aren’t chicks so of course it doesn’t work on you,” James pouted.

“Weird,” Logan said. “I don’t smell any…an…ehpTCHIIH!”

“That’s it! Enough of that out of you!” Gustavo shrieked, his voice rising to a pitch more befitting a cartoon banshee. “We need a clean take of this song. It has to be done by today! If we don’t have it finished, it’s curtains for this band! Do you understand what that means? No more Hollywood. No more record deal. No more living in your fancy Palmwoods apartment. No more any of it! So stop your nose and start your mouth and lets get this done!”

“It’s not like I can help it,” Logan muttered, his voice thick with congestion, rubbing his nose with his finger. “It’s like my nose has been itching ever since I got in here, and I can’t make it stop.”

“Maybe you’re allergic to the cat that peed on James’s shirt,” Carlos suggested.

“You-a cat did not pee on my shirt! You guys just don’t know quality scent when you smell it. Fine. Doesn’t matter. You’ll be eating your words when I’m surrounded by a flock of girls and you’re not.”

“Maybe you’re getting a cold,” Kendall said.

At the mention of that, Gustavo propelled himself backward out the door at an astonishing speed, warily eying the wetly sniffling Logan with a mixture of suspicion and disgust.

“Nah, I know I’m not getting sick. I don’t feel it. It’s just…hgghEITCHHK!…my nose is really itchy and so are my eyes and I can’t stop…hahhh…hhhNGHTCHFF!”

“Kelly!” Gustavo called out behind him, not even bothering to give the courtesy of turning to face the one he was shouting the order to. “Get this boy a box of…” He broke his sentence off when he realised that his long-suffering and infinitely patient assistant, Kelly Wainwright, was one step ahead of him, already behind him holding a box of tissues over his shoulder. “Ti…ssues…It’s about time!”

Apparently stooping to saying “Thank you” wasn’t something he was willing to do.

“Here,” he said, tossing the box at Logan, who caught it expertly. “Use this, get ready to finish the song. And hurry up!”

Logan gratefully pulled out two tissues from the box, and went to work at mopping up his streaming eyes before he tackled the task of wrapping them firmly around his suffering nose and blowing as best he could. It didn’t seem to do any good, his nose didn’t feel any clearer at all. Keeping his nose covered in the white soft sheets, he fired off three more muffled sneezes.

“You know, if your eyes are itchy…that sounds an awful lot like hay fever,” Kendall observed. “There might be something in the air in Hollywood we didn’t have in Minnesota…”

“But it didn’t start until we go…ehgTCHIIPH…inside!” Logan protested, grabbing a fresh tissue to wipe his eyes again with.

“Well then, maybe there’s something new in here…” Kendall suggested. “Hey, Gustavo…you spray any kind of weird air freshener in here?”

“No,” Gustavo growled. “I’m saving that for when you finally finish up and clear out of here and take your overpowering stink with you.”

“Overpowering stink…” Kendall mused. “That’s what’s new! Your body spray, James!”

“Glad you finally appreciate it.”

“No, I mean…maybe that’s what’s making Logan sneeze.”

Logan sniffled, which may or may not have been an agreement.

“Oh yeah!” James said. “You might be right. Hey, lets see!”

He produced a can from who-knows-where, was he carrying it in his jacket pocket?- and sprayed it directly at Logan. Immediately, Logan reeled back, coughing and sputtering and squeezing his eyes shut. This of course proved nothing, it would be any living breathing human being’s reaction to being hit with a shot of that fragrant mist at close range.

“Dude! What did you do that fo-hhhNGHTCHFF…ehgTCHIIPH…ehpTCHIIH”

“Dude!” Kendall said, while pulling tissues out of the box and handing them to his doubled over, now-incapacitated-by-nasal-explosions friend “He only had to, I don’t know, sniff your shirt or something. What were you thinking?”

“I think you broke him,” Carlos, rather unhelpfully, added.

“Guys,” Logan snuffled, managing to straighten himself up. “It’s okay. I’m okay…hehhKGCHSH!”

“Oh man, what are we going to do?” Kendall said. “Logan obviously can’t be in the same room as James when he’s got that stink all over him…and we all have to be in the same sound booth in order to get this song done…”

“Which has to be done by today!” Gustavo bellowed, as if the point hadn’t been driven home nearly enough earlier. He took off his black rimmed glasses and rubbed his forehead. Just the very thought of what he was about to suggest made his head hurt more than it already did.

“There’s a shower down the hall. You,” he said, pointing at James. “Dog Number One. Go wash that stink off you and go change into whatever decent clothes you can find in Wardrobe. And get rid of that spray! Dog Number Two,” He pointed at Logan. “Go outside and get some fresh air. Dog Number Who-cares, and Dog Number Whatever: do something useful and don’t wander too far. And don’t get into any trouble.”

“There’s a shower in here?” James said incredulously. “Why didn’t we know about that?”

“Because if you knew about it, you’d find a way to mess it up. Perks like that are for the important people. Like me! They are not for the talent, I.e. dogs, like you.”

As the boys scattered, leaving Kelly to try to relax the fuming Gustavo, he called out after James down the hall: “And don’t touch any of my expensive stuff in there!”, knowing full well his orders would be, once again, disobeyed.

THE END

[Zane]

haha I LOVED it!!! It was frickin amazing! haha Logan sneezing. and you really got all of the characters down. you are amazing! thanks so much for writing this!

[Sneesee]

***SQUEEEEEEE*** You, you rock, KK! You know you do! Such a nice job, well-written, and you captured the boys perfectly! Thank you so much for posting it here!!!

[doggo]

I don't know the fandom, but this was very cute. Always enjoying reading your cute stories, KK!

[LoZFanGirl]

This is funny and well written!!

[PetalPunk]

pretty good! I used to watch BTR, I sadly grew out of that phase in a hurry--shame--they were such cuties. Anyway, great story. I thought it was sickness at the beginning, which would have been delightful, but as soon as you mentioned James' new body spray I knew it was allergies! great write.

[Flower101]

And then, Gustavo mysteriously stopped shouting and sniffed the air.

“Did you get a cat?” he asked James.

“No, why?”

“Because you smell like one marked its territory all over your clothes.”

“Hey, this is my brand new body spray. The commercial says that chicks just can’t resist it. Do you like it?”

“No, if I liked it I wouldn’t have told you you smell like an animal’s toilet,” Gustavo retorted, his voice resuming the familiar decibel level they had all come to know, but not love.

That was to funny, I live for BTR!