Malady - (7 Parts)

[Sawyer]

Disclaimer! I’m not much of a writer. Like, at all. But… I love Dr. Horrible SOMUCH and there hasn’t been any sort of sickfic or coldfic written in the fandom, so… why not write one myself?

Right. This particular pointless drabble takes place between acts two and three. When Penny and Billy had already begun to talk, Hammer is sexing Penny – you know, whatever. Lol.

Here goes.

-

The air outside was crisp enough for her to get away with wearing only a t-shirt, but not quite hot enough for Penny to want to stay outside without a jacket. Autumn had long since dawned, and the leaves had changed color and were just starting to fall from the trees. The slow but sure developing climate shift meant that less homeless citizens would be willing to spend the cold nights outside, and more would be seeking shelter in Caring Hands.

This left Penny particularly busy with little time for leisurely activity. However, she made certain to get at least six hours of sleep every night and allowed herself three full meals at the shelter where she worked (each spent with Captain Hammer, of course – save for this week, given that he was at a Heroes’ Conference). In fact, although she had no set hours at Caring Hands, Penny promised herself a two day vacation – starting after she finished her laundry – to make sure her immune system was adequate enough to stave off that season’s strain of the common cold.

But her laundry buddy didn’t seem to be as conscious. Penny watched as Billy stumbled into the Laundromat, hunched into a navy blue hoodie and carrying a half-empty laundry basket (filled with only bland shades of blue, creams, and greys – perhaps Billy strived just to blend in?) with an apprehensive expression plastered on his boyish features.

“Hi,” She greeted tamely, and Billy responded with a shocked look and then a nervous grin.

“How are you?” He asked as he began to separate his darks and lights.

“I’m alright,” Penny replied in a characteristically cheerful manner. “I’ve been busy at Caring Hands, though; working from eight to ten. It isn’t a problem, though – have you been getting enough sleep…?”

“What?” Billy said all too quickly. He tossed an assortment of pale apparel into the washer without making eye contact, and Penny took notice of his newly pallid complexion and flushed cheeks. “No, um. Of course. I’m fine.” His defensive claim tumbled out of his mouth in an oleaginous fashion, and he flashed Penny an awkward smile.

“Oh. Okay,” She wasn’t one to pry, “well, anyway. Caring Hands has gotten a few new volunteers…” Penny rambled on and Billy watched with intent interest, each of them sitting on the washer and dryer, respectively. She spoke of her new job and Billy commented occasionally, his articulation noticeably skewed by – what – congestion? – and Penny didn’t stop talking until she transferred her clothes into the dryer, and was interrupted.

“Aeh’TSCHuh! Hh’ETSCHmm!” Two sneezes in quick succession, with the slightest pair of hitched breaths in between. Penny looked from her laundry to Billy, who had the lower half of his face buried in the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

“Bless you,” She offered, and Billy wiped his nose on his sleeve.

He mumbled his thanks; Penny saw his cheeks flush further with embarrassment. “You’re sure you’re feeling alright?” She clarified.

“I’b okay, Peddy.” He assured her. Or, tried to, at least, but his immensely congested tone suggested otherwise.

Promptly, Penny stamped a hand on his forehead. She frowned.

“You’re a little warm,” She informed him. “Are you sure you’re not sick? There’s something going around…”

“Don’t worry about me, Penny; really.” Billy said, before launching into a fit of wet chesty coughs. He was left almost breathless and doubled over.

Penny carefully fit his laundry basket into hers and took him by the arm. “You don’t live too far, do you? Let me walk you home.”

-

OKAY. SORRY. NOT MUCH SNEEZING YET. I’ll write the next part tonight or tomorrow, cool?

It’ll be in Billy’s POV. Maybe I’ll involve the Doc a bit later. I’m thinking three parts? Maybe? Oh, I don’t know. xD

Was this okay?

[obsessed]

Yes it was okay!

And nice job getting out of school!

[thesneezingbeauty]

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE! Dr. Horrible possibly my favorite brainchild of Joss Wheden (right next to buffy and firefly). I really look forward to reading more!!!

[Mercury]

this surpassed 'okay'

can't wait 'till the next part

[Sawyer]

ALRIGHT, OKAY. Thank you so much for the positive feedback! Knowing someone liked this made it so I wrote the next part. I hope it's alright. Might seem a bit rushed, and I switched POVs quite a lot. Was that a problem? xD I wasn't sure which way to lean with this.

-

Just his luck; it had begun to rain. How cliché, Billy silently remarked with a scowl.

Hunched dramatically against the threatening precipitation, Billy fumbled with the lock before swinging the door open.

“After you,” Billy prompted, and Penny smoothly sauntered inside. The apartment was silent; vacant. Cluttered but not overwhelmingly so, with a lingering musky scent.

“MMptschUHhh—! Hah..! ETSSSch!”

“Bless you,” Penny said.

“Excuse me,” Billy offered, his head low and nose dripping. He took a paper towel from the kitchen to wipe his nose, and conspicuously placed it into the pocket of his jacket. “It’s the dust.”

Penny wondered if he was denying such a blatant malady in an attempt to seem masculine – strong. Like (dare she say) Captain Hammer. Billy was far from heroic in the sense that Captain Hammer was, but he had quirky, chivalrous mannerisms that tended to occasionally rival her boyfriend’s charm.

Billy blinked hard, a habit he seemed to have adopted a few years back. Penny was at his apartment. His apartment. Although she certainly hadn’t arrived in the fashion he’d fantasized about so many times before. In fact, this was one of the worst possible scenarios for such a phenomenon to occur; when he was feeling his worst.

“Um,” He began awkwardly, briefly wincing at his congested mispronunciation. “Would you… like something to drink?”

Penny smiled warmly, and Billy felt his stomach flutter. She opened her mouth to answer, but paused when Billy doubled over in a seemingly painful coughing fit.

“Here, sit down.” She coaxed, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I’ll make you some tea, alright?”

“No, I couldn’t.” Billy protested. “You’re my g—huh! Hh’ATSCHeh!—my, um. My guest.”

“It’s no trouble,” Penny insisted, smiling at the blonde’s incredibly abashed post-sneeze behavior. She turned on the stove. “Where do you keep your cups?”

Billy pointed at a cabinet, and Penny swiftly began to boil water.

“PTSCHah! HuhAETSCH’etscht! Kt’SCHuh!”

She turned to see Billy bent slightly at the waist, rubbing his nose raw with a paper towel (clearly, his home was without a comforting box of tissues). His cheeks were stained pink with embarrassment, his nose a similar shade with irritation. Penny winced in sympathy.

“God bless you,” She said, leaving the water to boil and sitting across from him at the kitchen table. “Still the dust?”

“Mmh,” He mumbled in confirmation, and Penny sauntered to the window and slid it open. The sound of rain gently accompanied the hum of the stove and Billy’s copious sniffling. It wasn’t so much a windy storm, but it did allow a draft to curl through the open window.

“So,” Billy said, sipping absently at the tea Penny presented to him, “where’s Captain Hammer this weekend? He seems like the type to be bothered that his girlfriend’s spending the evening at some other guy’s apartment.”

“He’s at a Heroes’ Conference,” Penny answered. “He’ll be gone through Sunday.”

“He didn’t invite you to come along?” Billy interrogated.

Penny hesitated, and noted that Billy had begun to bounce his leg rather quickly. “No, he… doesn’t usually include me in that sort of thing, if there’s no publicity involved.”

“Hup’SCHieh!” Billy interrupted.

“If there was something in the air, you wouldn’t be sneezing,” She commented.

“It’s nothing,” Billy promised, although his syrupy tone suggested otherwise.

“A lot of volunteers have come into work with colds,” Penny informed. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you caught whatever’s going around.”

“I don’t get sick,” Billy retorted.

Penny shot him a look of skepticism.

“I mean, I… haven’t. For years. It’d be weird for a sickness to come on so suddenly.” Billy clarified.

“You never know,” Penny countered, and Billy launched into another coughing fit that left him almost breathless. “The tea isn’t helping?” She guessed.

“No, it’s great! Um. Thanks. You didn’t have to…”

“Anything for a friend,” Penny said. “Hey, you… mentioned a roommate, didn’t you?”

“Moi – er, Mason?” Billy replied, careful to use Moist’s alias. “I’m not sure where he is. He sh… sh – huh-SCHHT!—should be back in a few hours.”

-

I STOPPED THERE. Didn’t know what else to put. I’ll add one more part after this, maybe? I DON’T KNOW. What did you think?

[Raining Strawberry]

Aaaaaahhhhh!!!!! It's cute and smokin'. I like. Especially with a girl taking care of a sick and miserable boy in his own home. Yay!

Unfortunately I don't have any suggestions for you, since I don't know anything about Dr. Horrible. Um, TV show? Movie? *Confused Strawberry*

But regardless. Very nice job so far!

[Mercury]

Billy's so adorable. If Penny discovered he was Dr Horrible all he would have to do is look vulnerable and she'd forgive him, I know I would.

I love this, and wouldn't argue if you wrote another part

[mutini]

Omgosh, I love you for this! Make it as long as you want XD I'll totally read all of it.

These two actually have a really perfect dynamic for this kinda fic. Penny's all sweet and caring, and Billy's adorable and vulnerable but won't admit it. :3 The switched POVs weren't hard to follow at all, though it'd be cool to see more from Billy's perspective. Your writing is awesome! And I love the sneeze spellings. Yum.

[LeapYearKisses]

Awww... Billy. <3 This is great so far! I hope you do write another part.

[obsessed]

Cutee!

I'm really enjoying this. And the title makes me smile.

[Sawyer]

THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU. God, you are all too awesome for words. Seriously. I read your comments and my face just lights up and I get all excited and happy. It's really dorky of me, but whatever. I'm a major dork.

I love writing this! Usually I'm too shy and weird to write anything about a fandom that I'm really into, but I've become bolder recently, so I figured why not? HOWEVER. Writing so much and indulging myself endlessly has left me in sort of a dilemma. I really don't know where to go with this next, because I'm super super uncreative. So!

What kind of thing would you like to see? Any specific character, addition to plotline, fetish-related aspects...? SERIOUSLY I'LL INCLUDE IT IF YOU TELL ME. And I want you to tell me! So, do that. Thank you!

[blush]

Dorkiness is the best! Along with boldness! Yay boldness! Otherwise you wouldn't have written this fic, which, may I say, is adorable. The very first sneezes, when Billy was hiding in his hoodie, gave the cutest mental image, which is great in this type of story. I don't have any particular requests, so keep going however you like, because it's lovely so far!

[Bongo]

I love this! I've been on a HIMYM binge so NPH is right on the tip of my brain, and I am so happy to see this!

[Bluebird]

Ah man, this is amazing Sen Beret! You are making me all happy and stuff before my parade today C8 I'm awaiting the next chapter patiently.

[Sawyer]

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MERCURY FOR BEING AWESOME AND GIVING ME IDEAS. Oh yes. Mercury, you are too awesome for words. I’m serious.

-

It wasn’t long before Moist (Mason?) arrived; sooner than Billy had predicted. Penny stood from her chair to shake his clammy hand.

“I’m Penny,” She introduced. “Billy’s friend from the Laundromat.”

“You’re Penny?” Moist repeated, and looked at Billy with an expression that said, Seriously?

“Has he mentioned me before?” Penny inquired with genuine curiosity, and Billy’s complexion began to redden further.

“Briefly,” Moist covered.

“Oh,” Penny said. “Well – hey, it’s getting late; I should probably get back home. It was nice meeting you, Mason.” She flashed him a quick, friendly smile, and before leaving, said, “Feel better, Billy.”

Once Penny had gone, Billy moved to the lab and informed Moist of the Heroes’ Conference.

“They’re probably discussing a lot of information I could use to my advantage,” The scientist figured.

“Did Penny say where it was being held?” Moist asked.

“Probably the Heroes’ Guild headquarters in Fresno,” Billy guessed. “That’s the… the –haTSCHeh!—the closest one to LA.”

“You sick?” Moist asked, although the answer was obvious. Penny’s goodbye to him seemed to give it away.

“Probably,” Billy answered forlornly.

“Hm,” Moist seemed rather contemplative. “Then maybe you shouldn’t try eavesdropping. You could get worse, or give yourself away…” He listed.

“I’m fine,” Billy quickly dismissed. “It isn’t like I… huh! Hup’TSCHIeh! MmptSCH! –I’b od by death bed, or adything.”

Skeptically, Moist raised his eyebrows. This was clearly not one of Horrible’s better plans – but Moist himself knew that stopping Billy in the midst of a scheme wasn’t a good idea, either. “You might wanna stock up on antihistamines, then.” He advised. “I mean, your voice—”

“I doe,” Billy cut him off, evidently frustrated with his sinuses. “Thad isn’d really a concerd right dow; I deed to figure out how to get idto thad codference.”

Billy sniffed thickly, and Moist handed him another paper towel (careful to hold it delicately by the corner, as to not completely soak it). “Use this. I can barely understand you.”

Perturbed and embarrassed, Billy obliged.

-

NEXT PART COMING SOOOOON. Okay? Sorry for the uh, cliffhanger… thing. And the shortness. The next part WILL be longer, I promise! Also, Mercury! THANKS AGAIN. Still taking suggestions, too! Remember, I aim to please!

[zneeze]

Omg, how did I not see this, Sen Beret? xD I know it's male, but I still love it (like I love anything Dr. Horrible xD). It's great so far!

[Mercury]

Mercury, you are too awesome for words. I’m serious.

Shucks You're welcome

I love Moist (but maybe that's just because he's in Big Bang Theory), he's a good friend. Those paper towels have to hurt Billy's poor nose through.

Can't wait 'til the next part, and more sneezy goodness

Edited June 6, 2010 by Mercury

[Bluebird]

Sen Beret, you once again have made me happy

[Sawyer]

Zneeze! You of ALL PEOPLE didn’t notice this? Good God, you were like the first person with the fetish that I ever discussed Dr. Horrible with! xD And Mercury! God, you’re so lovely. Whenever I read your posts here I just start smiling; for some reason, whatever you have to say just sparks a… like, sensual happiness.

PAWS! Okay, ohmygod, well, you make ME happy.

Adkfhsajkhsfkja YOU GUYS ARE SO GREAT. I’m seriously. You’re so, so nice to me! Thank you so much for reading this and commenting. The more feedback I get, the faster I write!

-

If you were being nice, you would call Penny’s apartment “quaint”. It certainly wasn’t glamorous, but the nice furnishings made up for the lack of space. Captain Hammer always had an open invitation to visit, and he often took advantage of this – as egotistical and high maintenance as he could be, Penny always did appreciate his company.

She was always the first person he would go to see when coming back from a conference, even if just for a minute. She was unsure whether it was due to his hormones or an actual, genuine desire to see her, but Penny didn’t complain.

“Turn on the news,” He greeted, and sat next to her on the vintage loveseat. Penny obeyed.

Captain Hammer was always on the news.

“—actual footage from the point in the conference where an unexpected intrusion occurred.” A blonde reporter stated.

“We’ll be covering the story right after this,” The male reporter finished, and the news set was quickly replaced by an advertisement.

“An intrusion?” Penny inquired, and her boyfriend beamed down at her.

“Can you believe it? Someone actually tried eavesdropping on the Heroes’ Guild. Dr. Horrible, of all people! He should have known better than to try and break into one of our meetings. You remember him, don’t you Penny?”

“I…” Penny tried to recall, and paused briefly. “I think so.”

“Well, don’t worry; I put the weakling in his place.” Captain Hammer assured, and Penny opened her mouth to comment just before the news logo flashed on screen. “Not now; it’s back!” The brunette shushed.

The reporters gave a short introduction until a security tape began playing. There was a lot of hushed, jumbled conversation amongst a selective cluster of heroes, all seated around a traditional wooden table. Of course, the information being discussed was confidential – so anything that might have been considered at least slightly comprehensible had been bleeped out.

“Huh-SCHHT!” That part, however, hadn’t been.

“Sounds a lot like Billy’s sneeze…” Penny remarked silently, smart enough to stay quiet while her boyfriend watched himself on TV.

“Who’s there?” A well-built, ocher-haired man in red called from his position at the head of the table.

Always eager to be the center of attention, Captain Hammer stood up. “Don’t worry, Joe; I’ve got this.”

Oh; so that was Justice Joe, Penny realized.

“Hup’NNGTSChh!”

Captain Hammer confidently promenaded to an assortment of dusty boxes and filing cabinets, and pulled a goggled man out by the collar of his bleach-white lab coat. In his gloved hands laid a compact and seemingly complex device, which Captain Hammer snatched to examine – all while keeping the villain hanging with only one hand (although it was hard to say whether this was because Hammer was so strong or the other man was so skinny).

“No ray guns this time, Horrible?” Captain Hammer questioned with teasing amusement. Dr. Horrible didn’t respond.

The hero threw the scientist to the ground, and instead of emitting a few dry coughs or strangled breaths as he often did in similar situations, Dr. Horrible began wheezing.

It wasn’t long before Captain Hammer tore off his goggles and began to pummel him.

“That’s Billy!” Penny gasped.

“Quiet, hun, it’s not over.” Captain Hammer replied with a wave of his hand.

“Dr. Horrible is currently being held in the Los Angeles County Jail,” The female reporter informed. Penny switched off the television.

“Seems like Horrible had some sort of disgusting virus,” Her boyfriend contemplated. He met Penny’s horrified gaze, and seemed confused for a second until clarifying, “Luckily my immune system is far too strong to succumb to whatever illness he might’ve transferred.”

“You don’t beat up on a sick person,” Penny said in a rather threatening manner.

“The evil don’t really count as people,” Captain Hammer argued.

Penny was so close to screaming – out of frustration, rage, disappointment – but did her best to contain herself.

“Your aggressive behavior,” She said all too calmly, “isn’t usually necessary. But I put up with it. I put up with a lot, and I…” She paused. “When somebody is sick and vulnerable, you can’t get carried away and…”

Captain Hammer was looking at both expectantly and disapprovingly. Penny halted her speech because, frankly, she was speechless. All she could say was, “It’s over.”

-

SORRY FOR THE LACK OF SNEEZING HERE. This was more of a filler, I guess. I’ll have the next part up very soon, though! Like tomorrow night at the latest. WHAT DID YOU THINK?

[Bluebird]

Asdfgh. ASDFGH. SEN BERET!

Why are you so AWESOME at this!?

Even if there was a lack of sneezing, it was still an awesome and well-written filler now if only we could get a little Penny action...  Oh well, I'm still a happy gibbering pile of furriness now. 

Keep it up!!

[Mercury]

lol, 'Justice Joe'. It sounds like the name of someone dressed up at a comic-book convention. It's brilliant!

Also:

“The evil don’t really count as people,” Captain Hammer argued.

That's more than brilliant. It just highlights how superior Hammer thinks he is, and how much of a terrible hero he's being. It's like his first priority is making himself look good, and then it's that evil people aren't human so it's okay for him to get let his aggression out on them, and then his very, very last priority is helping people. Captain Hammer: Corporate tool.

Looking forward to the next part

[bangbang]

YAY! I love this, even though I've never seen Dr Horrible - NPH is lovely. I should definetly watch it now.

[zneeze]

Omg too cute. Really clever Sen Beret!

[ooo]

Okay, so I'd never seen or heard of Dr Horrible before, or really anything NPH except that one episode of Glee he was on. But I found this fic the other day and totally couldn't help myself, so I went searching and watched the whole thing. And then came back here and read this again and it is AWESOME. So incredibly adorable and cute and aww, Billy

Can't wait to read more

[Sawyer]

YOU GUYS MAKE ME SO HAPPY. It's unbelievable. I read your comments and it just makes me want to write and write and write, omg. Seriously. You have no idea. xD It's kind of pathetic, actually.

Mercury, dude! Have you read the comic? There was a dude at the beginning battling a villain much like Dr. Horrible, and his name was Justice Joe. LOL. I just assumed since he was so traditional and old, he would be the head of the Heroes' Guild. Or something.

bangbang YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS MOVIE. It's only about 45 minutes long, and it's so adorable and lovely. I'm serious. I'm glad you liked this too, though! dhlakhdkjghdkga ooo, YOU WATCHED IT BECAUSE OF ME?! Man. I'm awesome. 8D

UM! I'm sorry I haven't updated in a few days. I've been so busy with like, friends and whatever. But, I think I'll be writing the last part of this (how sad!) very soon, like tonight. YOU'RE SO ENCOURAGING AND NICE, ARHREHBRFJHKSADHhalfhas <3

Edited June 11, 2010 by Sen Beret