Spectacle of Interest

[a red nine]

Here’s a present to Spoo, whom most definitely deserves it! She wrote me three sneeze ficlets for Black Butler and, though she said I didn’t have to, I wanted to write her something in return. So we’ve got some Ouran High School Host Club with male sneezing, as would be expected since almost all the main characters are guys. The idea for the plotline also belongs to Spoo; I just wrote it. And by the way, a general rule that I will inform you about in case you didn’t know, it’s not usually a good idea to tell someone you’ll write them a story during finals week. Spoo has been incredibly patient and it was kind of fail on my part, as this was very delayed. Well, enough of that. I do hope you enjoy.

Oh, and one more note: I have watched the entire anime of OHSHC twice but I still don’t really remember everything about it because my memory is suck. So let me know if I did something wrong in accordance to the original story and maybe I’ll fix it. Thanks!

Kyouya Ootori saw everything that went on in the host club, things that no one else paid attention to. Of course, he also did everything for the club that involved work: balancing budgets, planning events, scheduling fundraisers… the list was endless. Tamaki may have been the founder, but it was Kyouya who kept everything together and made the club run as smoothly as it did. So it wasn’t unusual for Kyouya to be asked a question regarding these topics rather than the principal’s son.

“Hey, hey, Kyouya,” Kaoru and Hikaru called in unison. They had just entered the music room, as classes hadn’t been let out very long ago. Kyouya had still managed to beat them there, as always, and was tallying figures on a clipboard. “What’s going on at that booth downstairs? There’s a big crowd of girls all around one table. Did we get out another magazine or something? How come we didn’t get to see it first?”

Kyouya pushed his glasses up higher on his face with one finger. “You know, we aren’t exactly the only crowd-gathering occurrence in this school.”

“Yeah, sure,” Kaoru continued, obviously unconvinced, “so what is it?”

Kyouya shrugged, not glancing up. “Nothing for you to get excited over. A rather expensive perfume company decided to endorse their product here to attract more customers. I believe they’re giving away free samples. Naturally almost every girl in the school is interested.”

“It seems like its been a while since we’ve done any advertising,” Hikaru noted.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Kaoru dutifully agreed with a nod.

“It’s been four days,” Kyouya answered stiffly.

The twins turned on him and consecutively whined, “We haven’t done anything really cool in a while though! When are we gonna put the ‘fun’ back in ‘fundraiser’?”

Kyouya’s glasses glinted in the light. “I have many other things to consider at this point. I would tell you about it, but I’m sure you’d both have skipped off before I manage to make it halfway down the list.”

“Oh Kyouya! You know us so well!” the two of them agreed, before flouncing away just as Kyouya had predicted.

But what they said was true: Kyouya did know them so well, as he knew everyone in the host club so well. He was constantly observing while he worked there: at how much tea were people drinking, how much cake was being devoured, minus the huge lot that Hunny managed to inhale, what activities seemed to be the most enjoyed so they could be repeated in a different context, etc. After being so attentive for that length of time, it was hard not to memorize the mannerisms of the club members to the point where he knew from the slightest hint if something was amiss.

If anything did happen to go wrong, Kyouya was usually the first to spot it and the last to mention it; thus was his nature. Fortunately today, everything seemed normal, or at least as normal as a host club at a high school could be… though even that was debatable, on second thought. Hikaru and Kaoru were in the midst of one of their ‘twin love’ performances; Hunny was snuggling a stuffed rabbit while Mori sat stoically next to him at a table piled high with desserts; Haruhi was having a down-to-earth conversation with several girls, seemingly unaware that she was saying anything at all that could possibly attract their attention to her. And finally Tamaki, the self-proclaimed king of the host club, sat in one of the long red couches, face not so far away from the female student’s he was currently wooing. Nothing strange here.

No; Kyouya looked again. Upon further scrutiny, perhaps there was something out of the ordinary occurring. While Tamaki was still rather close to the girl, he seemed drawn almost and still backing off, increment by increment, with every new gesture he made. A normal person wouldn’t have noticed his slow retreat. But to Kyouya, this was truly a spectacle of interest.

The reasoning behind this became increasingly clearer the more he watched. Not only was Tamaki pulling away, which his guest hadn’t seemed at all to be aware of, but was paying an awfully large amount of attention to his nose. Above the amused grin he always wore when entertaining at the host club, one of his index fingers would prod and rub at his nostrils from every few minutes to every half minute. His suave demeanor didn’t change though his desperation did as a shiver slipped down the thin spine of his nose. Kyouya at first assumed that he sniffling back congestion or something along those lines, but that hypothesis was scratched off when he noticed the corner’s of Tamaki’s mouth beginning to tug.

Put any other host in the situation and they wouldn’t have thought twice about how to react. Only Tamaki was so sensitive about sneezing on the job. The whole process seemed to go against his definition of a gentleman. Kyouya doubted that sneezing would actually upset anyone in the room but Tamaki’s mind was wired different than the average human’s. Every time he fell ill, he practically started planning his funeral. Whatever thoughts were coursing through his brain now were probably just as ridiculous.

Kyouya’s focus returned to the scene at hand. Tamaki was in the middle of offering the brown-haired girl a cup of tea, which she merrily accepted, more than less likely because Tamaki was the one serving it. While the spotlight was temporarily off him, Tamaki turned to the side and gave his upper lip a furious scrub. Nothing he was doing seemed to be abating the urge. Kyouya wasn’t sure how his strange friend would try to weasel himself out of this situation. So far, Tamaki seemed persistent to stave off the feeling, snuggling his inflamed nose into his hand in various ways. In the end, the only path there appeared to be was to indulge in the tickle; hopefully then it would stop bothering him.

The distraction didn’t work for long and the girl turned back to Tamaki, to which he responded with an awkward, lopsided grin that practically proved his current state and spoke more sweet nothings. He was about to lose it, but by some stroke of luck after this, Hunny and Mori managed to do some unknown action that was apparently ‘so cute’ it evoked a chorus of croons from surrounding girls. Tamaki’s own guest simply had to turn and look for herself, and Tamaki seized the moment to release some of the pent-up irritation. There was no way he could go on any longer.

Tamaki let his head tilt back and eyes shutter closed. A few fluffy, light-as-air breaths signaled its approach. He was trying to get this over with as quickly as possible, lest anyone catch him in the act, totally unaware that he had been watched the entire time and still was.

Kyouya watched the sneeze finally unfold-

“Hh-ngxt!”

-only to have it cut off as soon as it broke the surface.

Tamaki had leaned forward considerably in order to contain the force. He remained frozen with his shoulders bunched for a few seconds before loosening. Still, after all that, the dire need was still apparent in Tamaki’s expression when he looked up; in fact, it was even more prominent. His blue eyes were bleary and blinking in double-time, as if stifling had been no easy task and the work was hardly over. His nose, now the color of the inside of a strawberry, flexed itself in annoyance, refusing to be obedient under such conditions. One sneeze had made it delightfully greedy of more, the urge now a stain on Tamaki’s expression, no longer something he could mask. This was worsened by the fact that the girl’s focus had returned to him.

She said something to him and Tamaki appeared to be reassuring her that nothing was the matter, nothing at all. He wasn’t able to hold his composure for long however; not seconds later, he ducked away from her and stifled another with his fingers, a small whimper of desperation managing to squeeze through at the end. “-keh!”

Tamaki clamped a hand over his mouth upon realizing he’d made a noise blatantly audible to those around him. Pink blush rushed into his cheeks when the girl tilted her head and said something more, perhaps finally curious of what was occurring. Hiding the need to sneeze had reached the point of impossibility. Now he had but two options remaining: let them out here or let them out elsewhere, and somehow deal with whatever consequences came with the choice.

For a split second, Kyouya considered ways to get Tamaki out of this situation. Perhaps he could walk up and ask to borrow him for a moment, pretending that he some important club information to share with its leading host. Some diversion to get him out of the thickly perfumed air so he could have a chance to sneeze out the as much of the substance-

He shook his head. It would be far more interesting to see how Tamaki handled it on his own.

Meanwhile, Tamaki was sniffling terribly, at a total loss of what to do. He seemed, at this point, to realize that this was a lose-lose situation, and that if he waited much longer, his nose would gladly make the decision for him. Kyouya watched as his friend tried to say something twice to the schoolgirl and broke off into hitching. This clearly wasn’t going to work anymore. When the sneeze appeared to be on the lip of his nostril and threatening to spill over, Tamaki suddenly stood up rigidly. Then, as quickly as he’d gotten to his feet, he dashed out, shouting the words “I’m sorry about this!” over his shoulder as he escaped.

Kyouya blinked. Even with such limited options, for some reason he’d never suspected Tamaki to be brave enough to abandon his guest. Reconsidered, Tamaki was all about drama. Kyouya clicked the top of his pen shut, apologized politely to the girl (whom seemed utterly confused but took it into stride well; Kyouya didn’t have much trouble convincing her it was some important, princely duty), then ventured out into the hallway to see where the host king had run off to.

It didn’t take long to find him; Tamaki had only managed to get behind a bend in a deserted hallway before losing control. When Kyouya stumbled upon him, Tamaki had his back turned, muscles in his neck tense, stifling an endless round of sneezes, and rather badly too. Kyouya watched him for a second, waiting till he slowed down at least a little, before muttering with his signature exasperated sigh, “What are you doing?”

Tamaki spun around at once. “Eek! K-Kyouya!” he shrieked, surprise quickly melting into an expression of desperation as he was yet again thwarted by his own nose. “Ngext! Wh-What are you doing here?” the blonde boy sniffed, massaging above his lip again.

“That’s what I asked you, idiot,” Kyouya answered monotonously, playing possum. “You left in such a hurry. Care to elaborate?”

“Ah, yes- Well you see-” The rubbing picked up its velocity until Tamaki could no longer keep his eyes open. “Sngxt! Ughh… Kyouya, it wasn’t fair! The girl back in the club was wearing really strong perfume! I had to get out of there! Do you know what would have happened if I’d sneezed in front of her?”

Kyouya adjusted his glasses, trying not to seem entertained by all this. “Simply dreadful things, I’m sure. …Perfume doesn’t usually bother you this badly.”

“Yes, I know, but it was especially strong this time.” He sniffled yet again, his nose sounding clearer but his voice still weighed down by the unfinished need. The tickle was obviously still troubling Tamaki, but at least it was nothing new, just working out whatever pollutant was left in there. “Exgsht!”

“Idiot. It’s not as if you need to stifle them anymore,” Kyouya reprimanded.

Tamaki shook his head vigorously. “Don’t be silly, Kyouya!”

“I’m never silly.”

“If I don’t hold them back, then… That’s just disgusting! Unthinkable!”

“Of course,” Kyouya replied, letting sarcasm edge his voice. “Will you be coming back in then?”

“I… After leaving so rudely like that…” Tamaki put his fist to his mouth, clearly conflicted. “I’m not sure I dare…”

Kyouya shrugged, going for nonchalant. “It’s probably for the best. Every girl in the club room is wearing the same perfume as the person you previously met with anyway.”

The host king’s jaw dropped at that statement. “Ehhh?! Kyouya, you didn’t tell me that! But see how no one noticed the entire time? Wasn’t that good?”

Kyouya gave him a side glance. “Yes, well it doesn’t matter anyway, since you’ve made up your mind about leaving. The girls will be upset.”

“I know. Poor things,” Tamaki sighed, seeming truly disappointed that he’d have to abandon his adoring fans. “Well, I’ll call to be picked up early then. I can’t possibly go back now. I’ll make such a display and not in a good way! We can’t have that, can we?” Tamaki flipped open a cell phone and began punching in numbers at expert speed with his thumb. “Good afternoon, Kyouya! I’ll see you tomorrow in homeroom!” he shouted with a frivolous wave as he proceeded down the hallway.

“Yes,” Kyouya responded, utterly stiff, before turning around himself and entering the room. The generic air of the afternoon had been interrupted, but now it was time to return to normal. It was fun while it lasted.

Hunny was standing in the entranceway, blinking his angelic Bambi eyes.

“Hunny,” Kyouya said, blinking back, though in confusion, not innocence. He didn’t usually converse with him without Mori. It was strangely awkward.

Hunny sidestepped, trying to peer around the younger host who was significantly taller. “Hey, Kyouya? Was Tamaki sneezing? Huh? Was he?”

“Uh,” Kyouya blinked again, “uh, yes. …Why?”

“I wanted to see it,” Hunny pouted, pressing his chin into the top of his stuffed rabbit’s head in disdain.

“Okay.” Silence lapsed for a moment. “…Any particular reasoning behind this desire?”

Hunny’s face lit up and his words spilled out in an enthralled rush. “Hikaru and Kaoru once told me that when Tamaki sneezes, glitter and sparkles shoot out! Is it true?!”

Kyouya stared down with concern at the childish face, which was practically bursting over with bubbly joy. Hunny was literally humming with anticipation, so absolutely enthused that Kyouya had to look away. “Yeah. It’s true.”

“Whoa! That is so cool!” Hunny then walked off smiling, saying to his rabbit, “See? Mori was wrong. You can trust the twins sometimes.”

Kyouya decided to ignore this only slightly deterring matter (i.e. that Hunny actually had any faith in the two troublemakers) and turned back around in the doorway a last time. Tamaki had almost made it to the end of the hallway, but had been stopped towards the turn by two younger girls who enticed him into conversation, perhaps about why he was leaving. It didn’t last long, and the both of the girls walked away tittering and blushing that the king of the host had actually spoken to them. Tamaki commenced his trek down the hall, now uninterrupted… if only fleetingly.

Tamaki paused mid-step. Though the motions were very slight and even harder to read from a distance, Kyouya was sure he saw Tamaki’s blonde head starting to tilt back. Perhaps, upon passing by him, the first years had left the scent of perfume in their wake and this was enough to unclog a last sneeze from him. Or maybe he just didn’t have the power to resist any longer, after sniveling back the impulse for so long. Whatever the reason, Tamaki’s final sneeze sounded not at all as though it had been held back in any way.

“Ahhpschuuu!”

That could not have gone worse on Tamaki’s part. The noise literally echoed down the hallway, the exact opposite of discreet and, by his standards, gentlemanly. Tamaki froze solid, morbidly shocked at what he had just done, his skin practically sizzling with embarrassment. This wasn’t helped by the fact that the two first years noticed and giggled good-naturedly at his plight.

“Wow! Bless you, Suoh!” remarked one of them.

The other nodded. “Yeah, bless you!”

One would think they’d stabbed Tamaki in the heart instead of merely excused his sneezing. They continued on their way, but the poor host king remained a statue, unable to come to terms with what had just happened. Disbelief and dread hung around him like a fog, and Kyouya wondered if he was mentally reprimanding himself; no, he knew he was. He hung suspended like that for nearly two minutes. Then, since he was all about spontaneity, Tamaki dashed off in a flurry, as if the idea had just come to him.

‘Well,’ thought Kyouya, unable to hide a smirk, ‘he almost lasted the entire time.’

The idea for Tamaki sneezing glitter and sparkles also came from Spoo. I guess it was supposed to be an inside joke, but when I read that I knew I had to include it in here somewhere. It’s so funny! …Yet so fitting.

Thanks again, Spoo, sorry it’s so late, and hope you enjoyed!

Edited March 13, 2010 by a red nine

[Zane]

haha! I LOVE Ouran! mmmmmmmmmm! yummy..... Ouran boys! haha..... anyway..... I'm not that big of a Tamaki fan but it was a really good story! I loved it! thanks for writing it!

[Spoo]

Oh. My. God.

I love you. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! This was absolutely incredible. GOSH, I'm so overwhelmed with emotions right now. Holy cow!! Everything was just right. Gahhhhh! I was a squealing, happy mess all throughout this story, and even though I'm a writer myself, I can't express how grateful I am that you wrote this for me.

From the bottom of my fangirl heart...thank you.

Tamaki was so darn adorable!!! And I LOVE how Kyouya was observing all throughout his struggle, andandand I about DIED laughing (I kid you not) about the whole 'glitter and sparkles' bit. That was amazing, my dear. Truly amazing.

This is definitely something I will read continuously. I can't get enough! Once again, thank youuuuuuuu!

Spoo~

[blackrose]

this was just too CUTE!!!

[a red nine]

Oh how sneakily annoying of me to wait until now the thank you all for reading so I could bump it up the list. I'm so tricky. Of course.

Anyway, still, thanks for reading and enjoying! Especially you Spoo, obviously since I wrote it for ya. But I'm glad you thought it was cute! That makes mah day!

Edited March 13, 2010 by a red nine

[Spoo]

Anyway, still, thanks for reading and enjoying! Especially you Spoo, obviously since I wrote it for ya. But I'm glad you thought t was cute! That makes mah day!

It was probably the best giftfic I've ever received. Thanks again!

[chui]

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Tama-chan!

very well done, and so wonderfully cute!

[Marshmallow Peep]

This story is so amazing

[Ciuty80]

ahhhh very nice and adorable !

cute story

[LeapYearKisses]

Wow! This is awesome! When I saw it, I was hoping for Kyouya sneezes, but this is really good. XD Poor Tamaki and his odd ideas about being gentlemanly. And I love how Kyouya briefly considers rescuing him and then doesn't. XD

And the glitter and sparkles made me die. So funny!

[Kimiki]

Absolute LOVE.

No more to say, I think you get the point...

Oh, TAMAKI!

[Maus_17]

I LOVE THIS