Monty Python Fanfic!! - (3 Parts)

[LovelyLinda]

Hey There,

here's my second story, and I hope you enjoy it.

It's my personally favourite and I'm going to finish it.

I love Monty Python, exspecially Eric Idle, who also has a cute nose ;-)

Once more: I'm a german one, so my english isn't the best, hope you don't mind.

Well, here is the first part of the story.

Monty Python (Eric Idle) Fanfic by LovelyLinda

M ; Cold ; for every age

Note: Sorry if I made mistakes, English isn’t my first language,

I hope you don’t mind.

It was about 7 a.m. when Eric Idle woke up.

Yawning he had a stretch and got out of bed.

Sleepy he noticed that his nose was a bit stuffy, but he doesn’t cared about.

Today he and his mates wanted to make a new Monty Python Episode.

He was glad, because he had written a new sketch called “Nudge Nudge”, and he knew,

it was really fab. He sat down on his kitchenchair and ate something for breakfast.

He wasn’t very hungry, he still was tired, but after the third mug he was awaken enough.

His nose itched a bit and was runny. He doesn’t spend a thought on it nose and sniffed gently.

After having a quick look on his watch he stood up,

grabbed his coat with one hand and rubbed his tickling nose with the other one.

He pulled on his warm coat, locked up the front door and hurried to his car.

He drove the 15-minute-way in less than 10 and arrived at the studio and got greeted by lots of people.

“Hey Eric! How do ya do?”, the handsome Michael Palin asked him and patted him on the back.

“Umm, fine, yeah, thanks, and you?”, he answered back with his huge british slang and sniffed repeatedly.

“Yup, alright”

Both men walked through the door to the stage area where they rehearsed their sketches.

They met their pals Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, John Cleese and Graham Chapman.

Together they were known as “Monty Python’s Flying Circus”. The director laughed and announced,

“Well guys, didn’t ya got the letter? From today we’ll start at 8:30 a.m., you’re half an hour too early,

is there a special reason?”

A few of the lads groaned, the others shook their heads in disbelief

and grumbled something ‘bout “What for a letter…”

They went to the cafeteria two doors away to drink a coffee.

Eric detailed them his sketch and the men grinned satisfied.

Suddenly the annoying tickle returned and Eric pinched the bridge of his nose tightly.

He was ashamed to sneeze in front of them, because he knew, that it always ends in a snotty mess.

He noticed that John was watching him and started to grin. “What’s the matter Eric?”,

Graham asked him when he saw the strange expression on his face.

“Well, umm, itchy nose”, Eric gasped and coughed lightly.

He laughed and sniffed one more forcefully to hold the irritating tickle back.

It worked.

After a few more short conversations they finished and walked back.

The first sketch should be Eric’s new one.

They sat down in a temporary bar and started to rehearse.

Terry Jones sat down on a chair at the bar and Eric rushed into. “Evening, squire!”,

he squeaked and sat down next to him. “Good Evening”, Terry answered with low voice.

“Is, uh, … Is your wife a goer, eh? Know whatamean, know whatamean, nudge nu…”,

Eric stopped speaking and rubbed his devilish tickling nose and gasped.

Luckily the tickle passed. “Cut!”, the director shouted, “What’s the matter?”

“I’m sorry, I forgot the text. Let’s make a new one.”, Eric lied and they started again.

“Good Evening” and so on. “Is, uh, …Is your wife a goer, eh?

Know whatahmean, know whatahmean, nudge nudge, know whatamean, say no more?”,

Eric babbled. “I, uh, I beg your pardon?”, Terry answered outraged.

Eric continued, “Your, uh, your wife, does she go, eh, does she…dammit”,

Eric gasped, buried his face in both hands and sneezed desperately.

”Haa’k’ishouu”

It came too sudden to hold it back.

His second sneeze sounded a bit like a gunshot and the third was a very wet one.

Terry bursted out in laughing because Eric didn’t removed his hands and flushed.

“Well, got a problem over there?”,

Michael asked, laughing too, and hurried with a few tissues to Eric,

“Here you are” “Thanks”, Eric answered congested, turned away and cleaned up.

His nose was still itchy and stuffy,

but he was ashamed to blow his nose in front of them,

so he just sniffed violently.

“Take three”, the director yelled and they started a new take.

“Eve’d’ing, squire”, Eric repeated but the director yelled, “CUT”.

Angrily Eric looked at him and asked, “Umm…Wha’d’s the matter, uh?”

“Your voice sounds terribly right now, I think it’s enough for today, isn’t it?”

Eric flushed again and looked a bit like a hound dog,

“Well, okay. Uhh.., may I go to the lavatory?”,

Eric asked unusually shy and sniffed miserable “

’Course” He rushed out of the room to the toilets.

They were empty, what makes him glad.

Quickly he took a paper towel and gave his nose a gentle blow,

but it doesn’t really emptied his stuffy nose, instead it kept on tickling horrible.

His eyes were watering and he pinched his nose to make the tickle stop,

but rather it makes him sneeze again.

“Haa’ek’sh, Haa’ik’shoo”

Panically he reached for another paper towel to catch the sudden explosion.

Grumbling he blew his nose violently.

When he was finished, he took a look in the mirrow.

He was strangely pale, except his nose, that was shimmering a bit red.

He was feeling very hot, so he splashed a bit water on his face to cool down.

He dried and left the room. He rushed into the studio and announced,

“Lads, I’m back”, but they were busy, because they rehearsed another sketch,

called “the dead parrot sketch”

Eric grinned, he just loved the sketch.

He sat down on a chair behind the stage and watched two takes of it.

Now it was easier for him to breath through his nose again,

but unfortunately his head started aching.

He doesn’t knew why he felt that bad now,

he hoped he wasn’t coming down with something this autumn.

The sketch went on, they played the “Lumberjack Song”

Eric hummed the melody and grinned when Michael sang something ‘bout

“I wish I’d been a girlie, just like my deaaaar papa…”.

Suddenly John appeared next to Eric and asked worried,

“Hey Eric. Are ya alright? It’s strange if you’re not laughing or talking constantly.

You’re so…uhm…quiet.”

Eric shrugged and looked at him.

“Well John, uhm, you’re right. Not the best today. Dunno why, but my head aches like hell and…and…”,

his breath hitched and he rubbed hastily over his nose to hold it back.

“I don’t mind, Eric, don’t hold it back.”, John soothed and smiled amused.

“But I do!”, Eric gasped and turned his head away.

Quickly he raised one hand and tried to stifle his forceful sneezes with pinching his nostrils shut.

“Haa’gnn’gg, Haa’gnn’xx”, it sounded really afflicted, so John ordered,

“Drop it! It kills your brain cells”, pulled Erics hand away and held them.

Eric only looked angry, confused and still sneezy at him.

He tried to raise his hands up in the air, but John held them very tightly.

Loudly he sneezed over his shoulder and ordered sniffling,

“Stop holding my hands! I’m gonna snee…haa…ee’k’shh.”,

he sneezed wetly in the crook of his ellbow.

He finished and sighed relieved.

John took his hands away, said “Bless Ya, Dear”

and reached him a clean, white hanky, but Eric doesn’t took it,

he just sulked.

After a few minutes constantly wet sniffing he asked bold,

“Hey, why did ya take my ha’ds?”, and sounded totally stuffed up.

The giant men answered, “It was not to blame you, I was just worried,

because stifling or holding back kills your brain cells and it hurts your ears.

And you’re sneezing very forceful, I don’t want that that happens to you.”

Eric looked totally confused and muttered, “Uhh…Yeah…Brai’d cells…Uhmm…Huu?”

John laughed and said, “That’s true. And hey, do me a favour please.”,

“Wha’d for a favour?”, Eric wanted to know and sniffed miserable.

“Pleaaase blow your nose, you sound so terribly stuffed up,

and I can barely understand a word you say. By the way, I can’t hear ya sniffing anymore.”

Eric flushed a bit, laughed and joked,

“Well, uhhmm…I think it’s something you don’t wan’d to hear, It sou’ds really disgusti’g.

Don’t wanna scare ya” John laughed, too, and calmed,

“I don’t mind, I thought you knew that.

I don’t laugh, promise, especially if you’re not feeling alright.”

Eric laughed, but his laugh turned into a slightly cough.

He nodded annoyed, pulled out a blue striped hanky with Mickey Mouse on it,

slowly unfolded it and gave his nose a gentle blow.

It doesn’t cleaned up the mess in his nose,

it only made him sneeze one more wetly into the hanky.

“Bless Ya”, he heared and blew his nose violently until his ears hurted.

“Poor Mickey”, he mumbled when he had finished.

TBC??

[count tiszula]

Wonderful story, and very funny! Oddly, I was just thinking about "Nudge, Nudge", because it has so much of the "Eh?" as in"Is she a goer, eh, eh, eh?" which is supposed to be a Canadian habit of speech; but obviously not, and what would Americans say?

Your English is coming along fine; so purely in the interests of education "Was fuer ein..." translates not as "What for a ", but "What sort of letter, etc."

[Helzbelz]

Loved it, especially the end. "Poor Mickey" lol.

[LovelyLinda]

Hey =)

I'm glad that you like it !!

Yes, the "Poor Mickey" on the end is one of my favourite scenes, too.

I just tried to show the english accent of Eric, and if you know "Nudge Nudge",

he's saying constantly "Uhh.." and so on indeed ;-)

Just love it.

[LovelyLinda]

Part 2

“Better”, John said and stroked over Erics brown waived hair.

Eric coughed lightly and took a look on the empty stage,

“Well, uhh, what’s ‘bout my sketch, hu?” John answered,

“They forgot the other equipment for the following sketches.”

Eric looked confused and asked, “Why’re were sittin’ here? May we go home?”

“Yeah.”, the director said and patted him on the back,

“Nice weekend, see ya Monday, 8:30 a.m. Oh, and hope ya feel better soon.”

When the director had gone, he raised an eyebrow and asked John,

“Did ya tell him ‘bout my headache, uh?” John shook his head and explained,

“No, but it’s obvious, that you’re not feeling the best.

And it’s really difficult not to notice your loudly sneezing and your bright, red nose.”

Eric flushed again, smiled weakly and wanted to know,

“Is it that bad, uh? I don’t even know how I look like or whatever.”

The other man responded, “You do. You look like you’re gonna die in the next two minutes.

Should I drive ya home?” Eric rubbed his nose and said,

“Man, Im not feeling too bad to drive home by myself.

Don’t worry, it’s propably just the sniffles.”

Monty Python finished for today and the lads went home.

Eric laid down on his sofa and closed his heavy eyes.

He felt so weak, and just wanted to sleep.

And he did, for almost 20 minutes. Suddenly the doorbell rang.

“Who on earth…?” Groaning he stood up and opened the door.

The lovely Michael Palin was standing in front of his door and greeted him,

“Hey Eric! Are ya feelin’ better? “

He pulled out a huge file of different coloured paper in it.

Eric, who was coughing pitifully, shook his head and mumbled,

“Not really, but…What’s that?” He looked enquiring and sniffed miserable.

“Just a few sketches we wrote the last days.

Ya may take a look and edit them if you want to.

I’m sure you’ve fun with that, you are our funniest one, aren’t ya?”

Michael explained and handed him the file.

“Oww, that sounds good, thanks man. I’m sure I’ll be bored on the weekend, I’ll take a look, promised.”,

Eric answered and read a few lines on the first page of the file.

Michael wished him a nice weekend and left.

Sniffling Eric returned to the living room, opened the cupboard and looked for a Kleenex,

because his nose couldn’t stop running and he was tired of constantly sniffing.

Luckily he found a small box of tissues and a white/red pointed hanky with Donald Duck on it.

Prepared he laid down on the sofa again and placed the tissuebox beside him.

After a few very violent blows he closed his eyes and tried to rest a bit.

After only 10 minutes restless sleep the annoying doorbell rang again.

Swearing like a sailor he jumped up, waited a while ‘till the awfully dizziness disappeared,

and opened the door. He was just before to croak a harsh “What the hell…”,

but when he saw the familiar face he swallowed the words.

In front of him stood a tall, thin man with dark brown hair and a bit to big teeth.

“Uhhm…Hey Eric! I hope you remember me….I’m George.”, he said and smiled shy.

Eric was really surprised, George was a old friend of him,

he was one of the famous Beatles.

After splitting off the group George and Eric made a TV Show together on Erics

“Rutland Weekend Television”.

“Of ‘course, well, nice to meet ya George.

What’re ya doin’ here?”, Eric answered and tried to hide the hint of congestion in his voice.

“I was in the near, so I thought I could visit ya and bring you this.”, he gave him a small packet ,

“I hope you like it.”, he added when he saw Eric’s surprised look.

“Thank you very much.”, Eric answered and tried to hold back the urge to cough.

“Wanna come in?”, he offered and pointed in his huge house.

“Yeah, thanks. But please, first open the packet; wanna know what you’re thinking.”

“Okay. A sec please.” He rushed in the kitchen, cut the packet off and coughed deeply.

“You don’t sound very good, are you alright?”, George asked him worried through the kitchen door.

Eric came back to him in the livingroom and admitted,

“Well, you’re right, not the best today.”

Both sat down on the sofa and Eric opened the packet. “Huu? What’s. tha….I mean…Is it a Banjo?”,

he asked surprised and raised one eyebrow in the air.

George smiled and nodded, “Yeah, I have one too, I think it’s lot of fun.”

Eric sniffed when his nose started to itch, and repeated,

“Thank you very much, I’m sure it’s cool.”, and gave his dear friend a quick hug,

leaned back and rubbed his tickling nose with the knuckles.

“Nice that you like it, I thought it would be nice, because you’re playing guitar, too, aren’t you?”,

George smiled again and looked at Eric. He just nodded and smiled,

he was unable to speak because his nose was tickling like hell again.

George laughed when he saw the sudden expression on Eric’s face,

reached for the tissuebox on the table and handed it to the one,

who was still rubbing his nose. He smiled thankfully at George,

but he really don’t wanted to sneeze in front of him,

so he pinched his nostrils shut when his breath hitched.

“Haa’g’ngg , Ha’gnn’xx” he stifled painfully and his eyes got watery.

Quietly the cautious George mentioned,

“Eric? It’s not good to hold in like that, it hurts your ears.

I really don’t mind if you sneeze.”

Confused Eric looked at the second one who told him that.

“But I do.”, he gasped, reached quickly for a tissue, buried his flushed face into it and sneezed wetly.

“Ugh…”, he groaned and blew his nose quietly.

He sniffed and rubbed his eyes. “Bless you”, George whispered and felt sorry,

“I didn’t knew that you’re sick. I’m sorry. Do I bother you?”

Eric grinned weakly and shook his head, “Don’t worry, I’m alright, just a little cold. Wanna drink something?”

“Cacao?”, George asked shy and Eric bursted out in laughing.

He blushed and mumbled, “Yeah, I know that it’s childish…”

”No! No! I think it’s funny, I love cacao too!”, Eric interrupted him and smiled.

He stood up and grabbed the edge of the sofa, “Oww….”, he groaned.

“What?”, George squeaked worried. “Just felt a bit dizzy.”, he admitted and went in the kitchen.

A few minutes later he came back with to steaming mugs of cacao.

He handed one to George and sat down beside him. “Well, how’re doing?”,

he asked after a big gulp. “I’m fine”, George answered,

“I just bought a sitar.”, and took a sip.

“Woow, a sitar? Oh yeah, you’re totally into Indian music, aren’t ya?”,

Eric wanted to know and crinkled his itchy nose.

“Yeah, I love it, it’s so lovely and…Hey! Don’t stifle!”,

he ordered when he saw Eric pinching his nose.

Guilty Eric removed his hand and sniffed strongly.

Luckily the tickle stopped bothering him at this moment.

“How expensive is such a …a …”, Eric started but then his voice trailed off.

Quickly he rubbed over his devilish nose and continued,

“…a sitar? I’d like to buy me such a wonderful instrument.”

George thought a few seconds and answered,

“If you buy it in India, a good one costs about 900 Pound, but there are…”,

“Hold on, gonna…gonna snee…”, Eric interrupted him,

cupped both hands over mouth and nose,

took a deep breath and sneezed so wetly that George cringed.

“Bless you”, George mumbled and saw how embarrassed the red flushed Eric was.

“Oh crap, please wait a sec.”, he muffled very congested through his hands

and rushed into the bathroom, still not removing his hands.

TBC??

[Vendetta]

god Eric Idle's such an adorable thing.. ..so glad someone FINALLY wrote something about him. hope you write more, the fics really cute

[LovelyLinda]

Thanks

I thought I'm the only one who likes him...

Nice that you like Eric, too.

I may have only one reader, but I'll finish the story for you =)

Hope you enjoy.

[Vendetta]

awe...dont feel bad that you dont have many readers, you still have a really cute fic going. and plus you write very well for someone who's first language isnt english, you have a good style. cant wait till you add more to this

Edited August 7, 2009 by Mikey's Angel Tsukiko

[LovelyLinda]

Part 3

After a few minutes he came back with a bright red, sour nose and rubbed his eyes.

“I’m sorry, that it always sounds so disgusting.

I really don’t wanted to scare you, that’s the reason why I’m always trying to stifle.”,

he apologized and layed down on the sofa next to George.

George stood up and sat down on the edge of Eric’s sofa.

With soothing voice he said, “Oh Eric, don’t feel sorry for that.

I mean, you can’t help it. Did ya ever hear Paul sneezing?

He always has very wet and messy sneezes, it doesn’t sound better than you.

Or me, I do sneeze like gunshots, more like a cough, it isn’t better at all, is it?”

Eric sniffed, grinned and nodded, “Yeah, you’re right, hehe. But I think it’s embarrassing…

Well, I don’t know why I’m bothering you with that.” He laughed, but it turned into a heavy cough.

“That doesn’t sound like a little cold, I think you caught a really bad one.”,

George said and rubbed Erics arm. “Don’t worry ‘bout me, *sniff*,

well I’m worried about you,

I really don’t want you to catch this. You’d better go home”,

Eric warned still coughing. “No!!”, George yelled, “I mean…

Who should take care of you, hu? You’re alone here, so it’d be better if I stay here, isn’t it?”

and stroked over Erics wavy brown hair. Eric smiled weakly and asked,

“Really? You want to stay here? Although I’m sick and dumb?”,

“You’re not dumb.”, George protested and smiled, too,

“Yes I will. You always were my favourite Python, I love your Jokes.

And it’s really bad, if you’re not laughing the whole day.

And when we got friends I just couldn’t believe it.

I like you very much, so it’s my business to take care of you.”

Eric rubbed his eyes, he had to hold back a few tears.

“I don’t know what to say. You’re such a lovely fella,

you’re the first one who cares about me. Thank you”,

he answered with still stuffy voice and sniffed repeatedly.

“No prob lad”, George twinkled and handed him the fresh hanky,

that was laying on the table.

He had a perfect timing, ‘cause suddenly Eric’s nose started to tickle again.

Quickly he took the hanky but sneezed violenty before he could unfold it.

George could see the still sneezy impression on his face, so he reached for the hanky,

unfolded it and cupped it over the other mans face.

Just in time to cover three more wet sneezes, which sounded a bit like a gun.

Eric finished and sighed, “I’m sorry…” His friend answered,

“Bless you Dear. Don’t worry, I already told you that I don’t mind.

But …was that a handkerchief with Donald Duck on it?”, he laughed.

Eric wiped of his runny nose with the hanky and laughed too,

“Yeah, that’s true. I’ve got another one with Micky, uh…and Goofy.

I thought it’d be funny. But, tell me, how do you knew that I was going to sneeze?

Is that so obvious?” Grinning his mate explained,

“Not really, but a few seconds before you sneeze, your nostrils twitch a bit.

Then I know what’s happening. You do look a bit like a hamster.”

Both men bursted out in laughing. “Like a hamster??”,

Eric laughed and stifled a cough into his fist.

“Yup”; George crinkled his own nose to demonstrate him.

He grinned at his grimace and mentioned, “Yeah, you’re right.

But maybe there’s a girl that likes hamsters?”, both laughed again.

“I’m sure”, George repeated and hit Eric gently in the back.

“Yeah…”, Eric gasped and rubbed his nose, that was twitching again.

“Tissue?” George asked, but Eric shook his head and sniffed wetly.

Suddenly the doorbell rang and George stood up to open for Eric.

“I’ll do that for you.”, but Eric followed him.

He opened and there stood two well known beauties in front of them,

one blond and one redhaired chick. “Hey Pattie, hey Jane!”,

Eric greeted with shaky voice and smiled weakly. George grinned,

the blond one was his wife Pattie, the redhaired her friend Jane.

“Hey guys, how’re ya doing?” We might stop here in your town for an hour,

so we thought we visit ya.”, Pattie twinkled and kissed George gently on his mouth.

“You’re welcome, come in.”, Eric gasped, took George on his sleeve and rushed with him a room away.

George closed the door just in time, that the girl couldn’t hear Eric sneezing desperately.

Wetly he blew his nose and said, “Please don’t tell the girls that I’m sick, they’ll think that I’m a weak one.

And I really like Jane, I don’t want that she’s disgusted by me.”

George nodded although he thought it was a totally crap idea.

They returned to the girls, which were standing in front of the kitchen door.

TBC??

[EnbySneeze]

THIS FANFIC IS HEAVEN

[LovelyLinda]

What the...O.O

I totally forgot about this one. Reading this is really humiliating - my English was beyond horrible xD

Brings back sweet memories, though.

Wow, I seriously can't remember bringing George Harrison AND Monty Python in one fic, that's absurd.

Thank you for reading!

I don't even remember if I had finished this piece...uhm...I'll go and check, no promises!

[Coffee Mug]

Aww I really liked it a lot!! Eric is such a cutie pie!

Don't worry English's not my first language too but I'd never gather the courage to write and post what you did and your job was amazing!

Kudos to you!!

Edited June 2, 2013 by milkyCoffee