A Christmas Garland [m and f];

[count tiszula]

Then up rose Mrs Cratchit, with a fine hankie to her nose, to lay the table-cloth, assisted by Belinda Cratchit, her second daughter, also brave of hanKie, for all the Cratchits, big and small, racked by the draughts in their four-room house, had caught the cold that Bob had brought home from Scrooge's counting house. Yet despite the state of their noses, the two younger Cratchits had stood outside the baker's and positively identified their goose.

"Here's Bartha, buther," said the children, and Martha too had a reddening nose.

"Sit ye dowd before the fire , by dear, add have a warb, Lord bless you". For Martha had given such a sneeze. "AAATCHOOOO!" as could have blown the light out of a giglamp.

"No, no." cried the young Cratchits. "Hide, Bartha." So Martha hid, and in came Bob, blowing his nose into two feet of comforter, and Sneezy Tim upon his shoulder; and Sneezy Tim bore a little hankie all of his own.

"Where's Bartha," said Bob, and Martha, hiding behind the settle, felt such a tickling in her young nose that her nostrils quivered and swelled with sneeziness, and knew she must prematirely give herself away, however hard she tried not to...

"HAAAH-HATXCHHHHHHOOOOOH" And Bob ran to her and kissed her on her little tickly nose. And think of that; Bob, who earnt but Fifteen "Bob" a week, had a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Present to his little house.

Then the two young ones ran back from the baker's with the goose. And such a goose! Eked out with potato and apple sauce, and covered in pepper, every Cratchit pronounced on its excellence, while Peter gave tribute to its flavour with a fine "HARRRASCHOOOO!" And all the while Sneezy Tim, his tiny nose provoked by the stuffing , sneezed into his very own hankie; "HiTSCHUUU! HiTSCHUU! HitschUUUUW !"

Then the pudding must be extracted from the copper. The twins active again, the smell, first of the enfolding cloth, as from wash day, then the rich pudding, encouraged the tickle both had, and as they brought it in with a little round sprig of holly on top, their noses were already alive with flaringness, which soon produced a fine almost simultaneous sneeze. "HATSHOOO!" and "HATSCHAAAH!" from twin noses. Again Sneezy Tim, as if inspired by their inspirations, gave a huge double that shook his tiny body. "HITSCHOOOH! Hih-TSCHOOOOOH!"

At last the table was cleared, the contents of the warmed gin jug tasted and poured, and a shovel-full of chestnuts put in the fire. The Cratchits, all of them, formed a "circle" round the hearth, Then Bob proposed;

"A berry Christmas to us all, by dears." Which all the family re-echoed.

"God bless us; Hih-Tschuu; every wud!" said Sneezy Tim.

"Spirit," said Scrooge, " Tell me if Sneezy Tim will live."

"I see a vacant seat," said the Spirit, "And a hankie without an owner, carefully preserved,"

" No, no, Spirit,"cried Scrooge.

And indeed it was not to be; for on his awakening , he was better than his word; and to Sneezy Tim, who did NOT die, he was a second father. And it was always said of him that he knew how to keep Christmas well if any man did. May that be truly said of us, and all of us!

And so, as Sneezy Tim observed, " God Bless Us, Hih-TCHUU!, Every One!"

[lalaland~]

X3 That was sooo cute!

A parody of Charles Dickens well done!

[sauce]

This was adorable AND hilarious as all heck!

[Jemmabean]

Well done, my distinguished friend! A fine parody and a wonderfully sneezy tale combined expertly!

[littlesneezer18]

Adorable!

[Vetinari]

How remiss I am for failing to discover this earlier! That's what comes of going away so long over Christmas. Hopefully better late than never, thanks for this delightful piece of whimsy.

[count tiszula]

For some reason I have been unable to think of a new Xtmas story, so I shall just be utterly shameless and bump up the one I did last year.

Merry Xtmas and custard, everyone, and as Sneezy Tim rightly observed, God Bless us every one.

[count tiszula]

And now a shameless overbump....

Merry Xtmasse!

[count tiszula]

And again. I shall punish myself.

[AnteatersOnParade]

Bravo! Very beautifully executed and so creative!

[HPG]

I always love this story! Merry Christmas to you as well!