Counting Traffic (Male obs only, I swear, and it's long)

[Guest mickey]

The secondary title could be,”My manifesto.”

It was only for a day, but it was a great day. I’m having a lazy summer, only working for money. I suppose that doesn’t make much sense, but allow me to explain. When I need money (i.e., for rent, food, antihistamines, and, of course, various entertainment expenses that I should do without, like internet, movies, and music) I look into small short term jobs, such as babysitting, or, like this time, counting traffic. I just finished my undergrad and will be resuming studies in September, so I have no problem defending this lackluster seasonal existence I’ve got going on now. I’m not ready for the real-world, I don’t do 9 to 5, and if I can’t wear skank-tops and jeans… well, forget it then! So, yeah, I spent all day Monday sitting in a lawn chair at a busy intersection clicking the traffic. Don’t underestimate the full and exciting life I lead! After an hour, my bum was numb and I just wanted to be in bed (like every other morning) watching silly talk shows and “my stories.” I didn’t think that I would last the remaining nine hours, and I was starting to think that I would rather go across the street to the gas station to rob it of $200 because that would be more fun.

Also, I really only care for male sneezes. I’m picky, too, so usually I also prefer them from guys around my age (I’m twenty four), a little younger is okay, and younger than my father (he’s turning the big five-0 soon). I’ve kissed girls, and even been attracted to some sober, but female sneezes make me shiver – not in that good way. I think this has something to do with the fact that I can’t sneeze, at all, around anyone else. Even in my apartment, I have to run water, or flush the toilet for fear that my neighbours might hear me. It’s silly, but it’s been this way since I was I kid. So, in the same way that those who are sexually inhibited come off looking like prudes when they get all squeamish when friends are talking about sex, I, as a nasally inhibited young woman, can’t stand it when other girls sneeze. So, there you have it. Feel privileged, anyone reading this, because you’re the only ones who know.

Back to my lawn chair, for those of you still reading…. He got my attention because his music was awful and awfully loud. Unfortunately, it is a Civic nation and his red four door was directly in front of me. A twenty-year old white boy should not have a spoiler that big, the other kids will make fun of him. All the windows were open, so he could share his 50 cent with his fellow commuters, and I was looking at the cd hanging from the rear view mirror. Pet peeve time, my friends, why, oh why, do people hang shit like that from the rear view? Crucifixes, dreamcatchers, pine scented things, cds, key chains, stuffed animals; it doesn’t matter, it bugs me. Strangely enough, though, I fucking love bobble heads. Oh well, back to rice boy… I’m observant enough, I like to notice details, so I’m pretty much focusing all of my attention on him while he waits for the light to change. The left arm was resting on the doorframe while the right arm was tapping on the steering wheel. Until he felt it. It could have been his nose running, it could have been a tickle, it could have been a stray hair, but whatever it was it cause him to bring his right arm up to his face and rub the back of his hand up the tip of his nose, once. Suddenly, he got a little bit cuter. Grey t-shirt, light stubbly hair (that had, it would seem, been shaved off not too recently and was growing back), reddish lips (that great boy kind, where it looks like they could almost be wearing lipstick, but not quite), and a well-positioned nose.

Hello, I think I sense a sniffle. Again the hand finds it’s way from the steering wheel to his nose, and he rubs a little bit longer and a little bit harder this time. Am I imagining things, or did his lips just part slightly and sigh? It happens quickly, and I almost break the clicker. He actually fully turns his head to sneeze out the window, facing me. For once I have to appreciate how much some guys love their cars! His left arm had come away from the window joining the other at the steering wheel, and his torso pivoted slightly to be facing out of the window, and he treated me to that look. His eyes were squinty and his lips were indeed parting to reveal nice teeth and a bit of tongue, while his nose crinkled up. Ehnhussah! He shakes his head slightly and his eyes open for a fraction of second before he grips the steering wheel, breathes in deeply and explodes twice more. Each getting progressively slower, but ending on the same note: Hehhhhussah! Huuhuuhehussah! He then wiped his nose along his left arm, hand to elbow, turned left and was gone.

The guy across the street on the opposite corner of the intersection was cutting the grass of that apartment building’s back lawn. His misery and my entertainment began when he had trouble getting that old lawnmower up and running. He was a bit skinny for my taste, but he had a wicked sneeze. I’m glad I’m one of those geeks never without a notebook to scribble in. I’ll tell you all about his half hour of fame tomorrow. There is also the skateboarder at the bus stop, the man at the gas station (thank god for gas guzzling suvs!) and, my fellow counter across the street. To be honest, at first I didn’t think that job paid enough, but now I want to sit out there everyday for free.

[Zed]

I'm not into male sneezing per se but am very glad I read this thread. You write really well and managed to keep my attention all the way through your little story. Well done!

Take care,

Zed

[tma]

oh my word!! very detailed (I am amazed-I never be able to write an ob. like that- I'm impressed). I also like the pre-ob. comments. It is nice to get a feel for the writer.

It sounds like you definately have been getting "treated" lately. If you have the time and desire to share other obs.- Please do.

thanks

[Kitty]

That is a fantastic obs and my all time favorite sneeze sound description of a male sneeze!

Ehnhussah! He shakes his head slightly and his eyes open for a fraction of second before he grips the steering wheel, breathes in deeply and explodes twice more. Each getting progressively slower, but ending on the same note: Hehhhhussah! Huuhuuhehussah!

You gotta love that!

Be well - Kitty

[Guest mickey]

Thank you, sincerely. I’ve been lurking for a few months, and finally took the plunge. It’s actually been really nice to post something and get over that initial fear. Shyness blows, as do allergies! :wink:

[atchoum]

The guy across the street on the opposite corner of the intersection was cutting the grass of that apartment building’s back lawn.  His misery and my entertainment began when he had trouble getting that old lawnmower up and running.  He was a bit skinny for my taste, but he had a wicked sneeze.  I’m glad I’m one of those geeks never without a notebook to scribble in.  I’ll tell you all about his half hour of fame tomorrow.  .

Great observations : keep them coming ! Really looking forward to the grass cutter's wicked sneezes !

[Guest Shadow]

That was totally awesome, mickey! You have a wonderful ability to bring a scene to life.